Who faced punishment, when they were caught?

I blocked it for most of my life. We were young and playing at my father's aunt's house. They had clothes to dress up in, in the play room. So I picked the clothes I liked, some of the aunt's old dresses. I put one on, I was maybe 8 at the time. We were having fun, my cousins, my sisters and I. Much of it was just kids playing. Then my father came in the room, his face I will never forget. The anger and turmoil that shone through his eyes, split me in half faster than a laser. His words were even worse. The names he used I will not speak. His aunt behind him, chastised him down, my saving grace.
He respected his aunts, so he shut his mouth. The first moment away, he ripped into me faster than a flaming knife through butter.

So I quit and bottled any thoughts that were my own. I learned and did as my role was suppossed to be. Cutting and crying, hiding all of me. I did what was expected of what I was supposed to be. Burying myself as far as could be.

I understand now, why I did what was expected and did not care. I had to show a path, that was to be seen.

I wake in my age and regret the years I lost, not being me. Yes I hide what I was, even from me.

I have only the future to be and realize me.

A lot have the same story here.
I am glad you are here to vent.

Ivy,

I experienced similar treatment from my parents, it was the neighbours that were more sympathetic and they helped keep a lid on it.

They needed a girl of my ilk to play with their daughters.

I could be a boy when I wished to.

This worked well.

Ivy, never caught by my father, but he was the only person that I had issues finding out.

.... Yes

....yes.

Both my parents passed away before I began my coming out process and I never did any dressing of any kind while I lived at home with them so I never had to deal with any potential or real fallout from either of them. That said, I don't think it would have been a big deal if I had gotten caught because my father was a very mild mannered person who always deferred any type of punishment to my mother whenever me or my brothers needed a "talking to" or a spanking. As for my mother, I actually suspect that she would have been OK with it and possibly would have supported or even encouraged me to crossdress because she often made comments that "I should have been a girl" because I had such nice hair (wish I had it now). Additionally she dressed me up for Halloween one year in one of her dresses and put lipstick on me and a woman's hat. At times she painted my nails because as she "claimed", it was a deterrent to me biting them. HMMM? really?

When I was growing up there was a big difference in the treatment between my brother and me. He was 15 months older than I. As the first born he was suppose to be a boy according to my mother's view of the perfect family. I was suppose to be a girl. Surprise! Not my fault. Blame my father's sperm.It was sort of surprising because the last female born in my father's lineage was born in 1881. My brother took after my mother's genetic pool. I followed my father's. My mother doled out the discipline which was a belt. She left welts on the back of my thighs. She thought masturbation was sinful. I've related many time she probably knew I was wearing her clothes. Who snapped the strap on her only black bra? Me? Or my brother? Well, my parents tried their best to catch me. Never did, but, did come close. They were not tolerant of gays and lesbians. The list goes on.

My father passed away when I was eighteen and a freshman in college. He was dying of cancer in my senior year of high school. I suspect, if I had been caught wearing my mother's clothes I would have been kicked out of the house. Military service. The 1960's were rough for anyone who was not plain vanilla heterosexual. Of course, it would have been assumed I was gay because that was the common thought back then.

When I outgrew my mother's clothes I did decrease my interest in women's clothing. I had absolutely zero thoughts when I was in the army. It wasn't until after I was married those thoughts returned. My wife is not on board with my cross dressing. She does not mention it at all. Deep DADT. Sometimes I wish she would scream something so it would open a dialogue.

In my family My Mother wore the pants and dealt all the punishments out. She was very conservative and if you crossed her you did it at your own peril. When I was about 9 my boy cousin and I were teasing my 8 and 10 year old sisters about the new petticoats their grand mother had bought them. We were waving them around and laughing about how silly girls were. Well my mother came home early from her beauty salon appointment and was not to happy . She made it quite clear to us boys that we were never to touch girls things again or we would be sent to school in pretty dresses and girls underwear. Believe me the threat of being seen at school by the neighborhood girls and boys in Girls things was the scariest thing I could think of. It made me very careful and nervous my whole life.
Oh here is what my sisters Petticoats and dresses look like back in the early sixties.

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My father caught me on two occasions, thankfully I was 15-16 which for me was also around the time I started maturing, physically he couldn't hurt me and public embarrassment would've hurt him as well...so I only got veiled threats and half-hearted punishments. But even then disappointing my parents was enough to remove a significant amount of self-esteem. It's a shame that such views exist, especially from those closest to us, but in my opinion it's those hard-learned lessons that make me want to be a better person and a better parent (when the time comes).

Thank god I was never caught.

I don't think I ever wanted to be, after an episode with my father yelling for me to come to our basement that he was cleaning. I went down, a bit worried that I had done something wrong. He held out something small he had in his hand, and asked me if this was mine, in a very angry tone. "No, it isn't, was is it?" I asked. My answer was him slamming it into a box of trash, and him ignoring me. Curiosity made me go down the next day to look in the trash for that item. It was gone, but I remembered what the little box had printed on it. Years later, I saw another one just like it. A package of Prince condoms.

That mad my dad had on that day explained that whole episode. That had to be from one of the guys my older sister was seeing. Made me very thankful that he never caught me dressing.

I was never caught but would have loved one of those dresses in Robbiegirls post.

I was never caught by my parents, but, in retrospect, I wonder if they knew anyhow.

I won't even mention how angry my wife was when she caught me. And, I was just caught packing a bra in a suitcase before and out of town trip.

Since she caught me the first time, I've been caught a few more times. One time she caught me in a very colorful bra. She said only a teenage girl would wear a bra like that. I took it as a complement, even though she was pretty angry about it.

Never got caught flagrante delicto, but had enough close calls and odd references by my parents that I wonder if they knew and somehow tolerated it.

Thank you for your replies. Yes I needed to get some of it of my skin. Thank you dear ladies!

I was 9 or 10 when mom caught in her bra and girdle. She said I have to be punished so the next weekend I was goin to be dressed as a girl the whole weekend. Mom thought she was punishing me but all it did was hook me on womens clothes. I am now 76 and still dressing.

I was caught in my twenties when my mother found a pair of my yellow frilly bikini panties. She gave them to me and asked if they were mine. That was all their was to it. Aside from me dying of embarrassment, it isn’t necessarily even a bad memory now

I was never actually caught dressed, but my mom would search my room and she found my stash of clothing I had taken from her more than once.

The punishments for that were no different than punishment for any other trouble I got into, and I go int a lot, being grounded, not left alone in the house, to whippings with a belt. (That was her favorite growing up)

She really didn't know how to deal with it until I was in high school and threatened to use use the "nuclear option" and out me to everyone if she found my stash again.

Well as a teenager who didn't understand or let alone accept myself, in my mind that was probably the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me, yet a small part of me wanted to get caught again

She never found my stash again.
We never spoke of it again.

So I guess it worked... ;)

I relate, even though I was embarrassed remembering this, it feels important now, and that rush of embarrassment feels so erotic now

Around the age of 10 or 11, my mother caught my stash of her old girdles under my mattress.
I got this lecture, and a scolding about wearing other's people's clothes.
Well I was already on my way to being a good wood worked, so I built a false bottom to
a built in dressed I had in my closet. I wonder if anyone ever found what I had hidden in there.
Rader

In my mid teens my mother caught me dressed in a dress she kept in the attic.
She said "I don't mind you wearing the clothes, just put them back the way you found them when your done".
I don't know if she told my father, he never said anything.
She told my older sister that I was going through a phase.
About a year after that I snuck out at about 11:00 PM fully dressed and as I was walking down the driveway my brother and his wife drove in and had quite a good laugh.

It took an entire month for comments to resume. Nothing in February. Sometimes it bothers me when some are chided on this site for being leery of venturing forth or even revealing their desires to people closest to them. There is a lot of conditioning of one's mindset from early childhood/teenage experiences. If all the time you were berated or disciplined for doing something, wouldn't that be in the back of your mind as an adult? I was never caught wearing my mother's clothing, but, if I had been caught I know the punishment, physical and mental would have been severe. Ah, the 1960's!! It's not like riding a bike and falling off. I have those physical scars which I can turn to with some pride. I just cannot imagine sitting around with friends, neighbors or coworkers reliving the times I was almost caught wearing my mother's clothes.

This is a more complex question than many of us realize. Many crossdressers frequent pro Dominatrixs to not only find a safe environment in which to dress but also to find a way to experience the guilt some of us still experience about dressing. This has been a factor for me. Most pro Domms will attest that crossdressers make up a lot of their clients

I was never caught, but I think they knew.

My mother would put makeup on me and I though it was cool. My father (the molester) would get upset about it. I only dressed a couple of times in my mother's clothing but it was exciting and they fit me really well. It was irotic as hell. I wanted more. Never did I touch my sisters stuff. I did not get caught dressing but, my sister would get blamed for going through my mother's clothing. I use to laugh because my sister was mean to me all the time. I guess she thought it was okay because she was older. I'm in my 60's now and I've began again crossdressing last year. I want to go all the way, makeup wigs, shoes. I want to be able to go out dressed and have nobody care.

My childhood was weird. My father was a pedophile and molested my sister and I. More So me. Because of this my sister was extremely permisquist. I lived in a small town and most of the boys in the neighborhood were never around. From year 13, when my sister got horny she would come on to me. We fornicated occasionally but I never did initiate it. She did. One day she told me she was pregnant and said I was the father. She wasn't and I never had sex with her again. She would bring home some of her girlfriends and ask me if I would to sleep with them. I never did. As a matter of fact I didn't have sex again until I was 20. Many a girlfriend in my teens I lost because I wouldn't become sexual with them. I had one gay encounter when I was 18 but that was just a by chance physical thing.

I don't know if it was my father or my mother that is responsible for my feelings about dressing. As ignorant as both of them were, I know for sure that neither one would have accepted it.

I was never caught officially but had some close calls. With that being said my gut tells me my mother knows. At this point if my mother were to approach me and say she knows it would honestly be a relief.

My parents never caught me. My SO almost did. I left some wig hairs on her brush and she found them and thought there was a girl at the house when she wasn't home. I had to come clean with the wig but I used a rockstar hair excuse as it was close to Halloween. Now that I am completely out to her, I don't have to worry about silly non believable excuses any more and I am completely happier now.

Now come on, isn't part of the fun getting caught?

This is a very sad thread. The world is full of people looking for the faults of others in order to hid their own. I fear for the future.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Joannie

This is a very sad thread. The world is full of people looking for the faults of others in order to hid their own. I fear for the future.

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That's quite the opened ended statement you got there Joannie. What's to fear? Your life is your own to live. Live it but, remember this. Actions impacts outcome.
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My mother caught me playing with myself when I was about 4, happily wearing my sister's panties that mysteriously just seemed so right to me. She gasped and backed out of the room. Maybe a year later my stash of pantis was discovered and my dad got very angry and said that if I wasnted to wear girls' clothes he wold dress me up and put me out on the stoop for all the neighbors to see. I hadn't really considered girl's clothes before, and I remember wondering how he had come to that conclusion [not that it isn't obvious now] but I got the message I had to go dark. I wasn't caught again, but the cloud of oppression hung over me for 65 years- stultifying my emotional development and creating another secret crossdresser. I am SO GLAD I now can finally breathe and let myself experience things.

My mom found my stash of her panties and my sisters slips numerous times. The worst time I got caught turned out to be the best time.
When I was 15 I became friend with a boy that had a bad studdering problem. He had no friends, everyone picked o him. He was a good kid, I like hime so we hung out after school.
He lived 2 blocks from me on he same street. So I always stopped at his house on my way home for awhile. This was in the late 70's. We his parents were divorced and she
worked afternoons as a nurse. He would go to his grandparents house for those nights she worked. Well, she had no problem walking around in her white full slip and
white control panties. I was like wow.....cool. So I made sure I was there as much as possible. One day I did not see my friend for the walk home, his grandparents picked him up but I did not know this at the time.
So I went to his house and his mom told me where he was and to come on in and keep her company while she got ready for work. She kind of took a shine to me as I was her sons only friend.
She said she had to get a shower and to go ahead and get whatever I wanted from the fridge. Well.......the house was small, no basement and the laundry room was right off of the kitchen.
What did I see in the pile of clothes ready to be washed? A pile of her panties, bras and slips........I could hear the shower running as it was o the other side of the laundry room wall.
So I quickly took off my clothes an put on her panties, bra and stuffed it with something and put on her full slip. I WAS IN HEAVEN !!! I took a pair of her panties and used
those to masturbate with. Well, I was so caught up in what I was doing I did not notice the water stopped. Just as I started to ejaculate I hear her clear her throat. OH CRAP!!
Erection...gone immediately, I am sitting there on my knees in her lingerie with semen in the cotton liner of her panties. Not my finest hour. What was I thinking?
Obviously I was not. I started to apologize, got up and continued to say how sorry I was and to please not tell my parents. I actually started hyperventilating.
She came over and put her arms around me and told me to calm down, breathe, and not to worry. She asked me why I was wearing her things, I told her I just have a need to wear girls things
and to please not tell my parents. As a result, she told me that there was nothing wrong with me and if I wanted to wear her things to please ask next time. She was a very progressive woman.
Over the next few weeks I was encouraged by her to stop by whenever he was at his grandparents to keep her company while she got ready for work. She encouraged me to dress in her things if I wanted.
Took me a few times to take her up on it. Her name was Karyn......hence my name and my screen name.

Robbiegirl, if that were the threat, I would have done something horrendous just to be dressed up and paraded. I can hear mom muttering, "Oh crap. He likes it."
Where can I find the items in your pictures in my size? I mean, I've been really bad lately. And I think I should be...........................

Was caught by mother in law at the time. I had gotten into the habit of borrowing her lingerie. Long story short she came to the house one day and I didn’t hear her come in. Well I had just borrowed a bra and panties from her the day before. When she came in she saw me. It didn’t go well at all. Basically 60 days later I was divorced. Oh well life goes on. Hugs. Amber

Carla, the postscript below your page is exactly why I came here. Thanks so much.



I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

I was about 12 when I got caught. I was with my dad working and his phone rings and it was my step mom.when he got off the phone he changed would not talk to me or look at me I knew something was wrong. When we got home I walked into my room and saw my room was clean and I was like oh crap my step mom found my stuff. I had a small bag of her panties and a bra and a leotard and also some pads. But all hidden in a small bag with my boy clothes in it too to blend in. So I looked for my bag and saw it gone and my heart sunk. Then both came into my room and put my bag down and ask why did I have these and at first I blamed my step sister she put them in there but they knew better. I started crying and said I don't know I just like it and I got a big spanking. Then my dad took me for a ride and had the lecture that's what gay people do and your not gay don't ever let me catch you with this stuff again. So then I said I would not do it anymore. But then about a few weeks later I took another pair of panties but just one and hid them really good and they never found out but deep down I still think they knew I still did it. But I hate the fact that my dad said that's what gay people do and I am not gay. but if I did stop I would not be me today and my wife would not be happy to see me in panties so it worked out lol.

It sounds more like a poem than a story. The only lesson I would learn is to stay away from people who are like that awful person. It’s over. That person was like a speeding car that almost killed you a long time ago. Gone in a flash. And you live.

Was caught by my father in my grans bedroom (I stayed over lots) I heard him coming up the stairs. I never knew Back then that under the bed was the first place anyone would look :heehee:

Sophie

Well, I considered divorce and being blackmailed for all our assets a sort of punishment; it was only later that I realized that I wouldn't have really wanted to be married to someone like that anyway.

I first posted this in December 2007--- In March 2008 my mother passed away

My mother is now 79 years old and lives in a house my wife and I bought for her that is two doors down from us.

She is still a wonderful lady, getting older and just got her 25 year pin from AA. When I was growing up, I never knew she drank. I just thought that everyone occasionally found their mother passed out at the kitchen table with a half empty bottle of scotch. I'm much better now, thank you.

I was around 9 years old.

My 15 year old cousin had moved in with us. It was a sad story, her mother had died, her father remarried, the typical wicked step mother, car wreck, her father died and the step mother went into a nursing home. My grandmother said to send her to our house, we got so many kids another one won't make much of a difference. So she moved in with us.

Somehow in my 9 year old mind, I thought she (the cousin) was getting favorable treatment from my parents. I wanted to get the same kind of treatment.

For some reason that 9 year old mind also concluded that if I wore her clothes, my parents and grandparents would shower me with affection also.

I put on a pair of her yellow big panties (this was about 1958) and a pair of her side zip jeans and a sleeveless white camp shirt. Nobody even noticed. (In retrospect I don't see how they could not have known, but they didn't say anything to me at the time.) I went upstairs and took the clothes off. Those panties did something to me.

One time when my parents went on a trip and the cousin was in charge of us. She was downstairs reading a book. I got on a pair of her panties and crawled into her bed. (In our house it was scandalous to sleep in anything but pajamas or a nightgown.)

The cousin came upstairs and turned on the light in her bedroom and saw me in her bed. I feigned being asleep. She came over and ever so gently lifted up the covers and saw me in her panties. The covers came back down, she turned out the light and went and got into my bed.

After a while, I went into my bedroom in just her panties. She was in my bed reading a book. I told her I was scared and wanted someone to hold me. She looked at me and told me to go back to bed and hold myself.

The episode was never mentioned again.

She eventually went away to college.

Fast forward about 5 or 6 years. I had developed a bedwetting problem. Wet beds and wet sheets were a real bummer.

My father insisted I was just to d*** lazy to get out of the bed to go to the bathroom. Lots of tears, spankings and wet pajamas. My mother eventually bought me several pairs of 'stay dry' incontinent pants that I was to wear under my pajamas. I was both embarrassed and excited about them at the same time.

My father had remodeled our basement and turned it into a bedroom. I was down there by myself, had a tv and radio and my school desk where I did my homework.

I had progressed to buying my own panties by this time.---this was before walmart and kmart. Went to Kresgee's or Woolworths to get them.

One night I was in bed in a just a pair of panties.

My mother came downstairs to kiss me goodnight. My pajamas were lying on my desk, along with some laundry she had told me to put away earlier in the day.

She told me to get out of bed and put away the laundry like she had told me to do. I told her no, could I do it in the morning, I was tired.

Mother insisted I do as she told me to do. Then she saw my pajamas and wanted to know why I didn't have them on and did I have on my 'protection' (That was our code word for the incontinent pants and diapers I wore to bed....we would NEVER call them by their real names, only by protection.)

Mother than told me to get out of bed right now. I refused. She reached down to pull my covers off of me and I blurted out, "Mom, I'm naked!"

She went over to my desk and picked up my pajama bottoms, gave them to me and told me put them on and put away the laundry.

I put the bottoms on over my panties while still under the covers and got out of bed and started to put away my laundry. She then insisted I wear protection to bed and I was always to wear protection and pajamas to bed. Nice people didn't sleep without pajamas.

She then swatted my butt. She must have been able to tell I had something on under my pajamas because she pulled out the waistband and asked me what I was wearing.

I started crying. I told her it wasn't fair, I hated wearing protection, I hated having to wear big white briefs (JC Penny double seats--wish I had some now..she bought them for me) that looked like diapers, I hated wearing diapers to bed and I liked how these underpants felt. I told her I had bought them thinking they were boy's bikini underpants.

She hugged me and said she understood how I felt. But until I outgrew the bedwetting it was so much easier on her to have me wear protection. It was too much trouble to have to laundry everyday--we didn't have a dryer- and to wipe my face and put on my protection and go to bed.

And she stood there. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was too embarassed to pull of my pajama pants and have my mother see me in panties. I had only occasionally put on my protection in front of her, never in front of my father.

Finally I said the heck with it, sat on the bed and took of my pajama bottoms. I then walked over to my desk in my panties and turned my back, took off the panties and pulled on my protection.

This was very exciting to me and I didn't know why.

I started to get back into bed and my mother asked if I was forgetting something. I started to put on the pajama bottoms. No, my mother said, finish putting away the laundry.

I put away the laundry in my chest of drawers just wearing my protection. I was so embarrassed and excited at the same time and didn't know why.

When I was done, my mother came over and kissed me and said, 'don't forget your pajamas." and went out the door and turned out the light.

Oh man, I knew I was in trouble. Not only was I a bedwetter, but my Mom had found out I wear panties. And she was probably going to tell my dad. I worried about that until I fell asleep. I think I cried myself to sleep that night. I wished I had on panties instead of protection.

The next day when I got home from school, I was in my basement room lying on my bed watching TV. My mom came downstairs with a bag from Sears.

She sat on my bed and said she loved me and was so proud of me for being a nice young man. She told me she was sorry that I struggled so much. She knew I was a good kid. Things will get better she said. Then, as she leaned over and hugged me, she said, "I understand boys need their privacy," and handed me the bag. "These are for you", she said.

Somehow I knew I had the upper hand. I just laid there and didn't return her hug or take the bag. She got up, left the bag on my bed, said supper will be ready when your father gets home and went upstairs. At the top of the stairs, she turned and said to me, "I am not going to mention this to your father."

After a while, I looked in the bag. There was a package of panties from Sear's. Three pair, blue, yellow and white.

My girlfriend once came home early and caught me in her underwear. She put make up on me.

my step dad made me dress in my sisters clothes and I had to sit on our front porch so everyone could see me all the kids came and made fun of me .little did he know it would stay with me for the rest of my life im 61 now .Its been a hard thing to live with most women in my life never liked that about me im married for 38 years she knows cant stand it but its who I am .I cant and wont stop:):): :hugs::hugs: Happy Easter

I was never caught by my father, but I am dead certain his reaction would have been as visceral and ugly as your father's was. I would never have lived it down, if I survived the beating in the first place. Under his tutelage, I learned to hate and fear and be embarrassed by who I was. As a result, I was well into my forties before I learned to love and accept myself. I lost the best looking years of my life.

My dad's statement was "I will take him out behind the barn and beat him if he doesn't straighten out". My mom I was caught several times including once in a nice evening gown. Her comment was "That is mine. Get your own" IF things had been different and I was growing up in this generation I think when I was about in 4th grade I had VERY heavy feminine tendencies (without wearing the clothes) I would have said I was transgendered. As it was I listened to my dad and became a "man" that he wanted me to be. (Joined the Army. Got married) I am a man these days with so may regrets that sometimes it keeps me up at night.