Em-femme at the bookstore tonight

I finally got up enough nerve to get out of the car. I went to Barnes and Noble this evening. I was very reluctant but gathered my courage, stepped out of the car and walked into the store. After entering I tried to remember everything I was supposed to be doing, how to walk, hold my head, smile, .... Then I passed a woman who was within a few feet of me and ... nothing. A moment later a another woman came around the corner and entered the isle I was in. We caught eyes, smiled and glanced away.... Nothing... by this time I am beginning to feel more comfortable.

I ended up spending about a half hour inside the store just wondering around looking at books. This is first time I have been out in public in almost 6 years. I really enjoyed the fact that nobody noticed me as anything but an ordinary woman.

I really feel like all my hard work and effort has paid off for me tonight.

See, the longer you are out, the easier it is. Just watch out for those teen aged girls, they have a way of spotting us. Not just my opinion but many others have said so too. Glad you had a good time. good luck on your future excursions...Bj

OMG, I so wanted to go into B&N this weekend, but I just couldn't do it, even after shopping en femme at Target and WalMart. What you did is huge! Isn't it amazing to rub shoulders with other women shoppers? In my case, I figure they're bound to know, they're just being cool. So tell me, did you buy anything? I'm curious about your experience at the checkout counter. Was there any sign of recognition there?

Here's my theory about store employees: most of them in major retail corporations have by now had some briefing about the TS issue, but I think it's more than that. In our current cultural climate of quasi-correctness, I figure that if I have the chutzpah to sashay my butt up to the register and smile, it's gonna take a pretty hardy soul to try to match my bravura.

But that's all secondary. What's really important is how blessed it feels to function in a mainstream environment as a feminine person. You can't tell me that picking a book off the shelf with long-nailed fingers doesn't just make your knees weak! Am I right? It's a brand new way, baby.

Thanks Billijo, I know all about teenage girls, they are the ones who humilated me years ago when I went en-femme to a mall. I went to a book store so that I might be surrounded by the type of people who would not make a scene even if they did recognize me as male.

Thanks again:)

Sherri, I am not going to tell you that my knees were not weak, they were, and I was trying to figure out how to relax. As you stated, I reached for a book and looked at my fingernails as they gracefully clasp the book and pulled it down. I loved every minute of it.

I have to admit, I did not have to nerve to purchase anything tonight. It is the first time out in at least 5 years or so. I have been working on my female voice so that I might feel comfortable enough to purchase things and order from an menu.

Time will get me there.:)

Thanks Sherri.:)

You know, I'm not sure teenagers can humiliate me. I've raised five kids to young adulthood, and as much as I love them and am proud of them, I know what idiots they are! And I know what their weak spots are. Do I really care what some silly brats think or say? Nope.

Well done Jennaie - I was out last week to Nordstrom Rack and to the Goodwill, and I can attest to it being a very nerve-racking experience. I think Barnes and Noble was a good place to go. Generally not very crowded. I hope you were able to eventually calm your nerves and enjoy yourself a little - after all, that's what it's all about!

Janelle.

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Originally Posted by Jennaie

I have to admit, I did not have to nerve to purchase anything tonight. It is the first time out in at least 5 years or so.

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Baby, you did good!

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Originally Posted by Jennaie

I have been working on my female voice so that I might feel comfortable enough to purchase things and order from an menu.

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I don't worry too much about the voice thing. Sherri does have a slightly altered voice, but I don't think it fools anyone, and I don't care. I don't care if someone knows I'm a male in women's clothes. What I do care about is it registering on them that they are dealing with a feminine personality. Besides, I have an aunt who has a lower, gruffer voice than mine, male or female.

[SIZE=3]When I finally have my ensemble together (need a decent wig still), a bookshop is my planned destination for the same reasons you stated. I am an avid reader in any case and I do feel comfortable in a book shop at any time, so I hope it's the same whilst enfemme. I guess the hardest part is getting from the parking lot into the mall first!

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I love the way you put that Sherri. As long as they recognize you as a feminine personality that will do. I think that is exactly what I have been looking for.

Thank you so much... :)

Me being somewhat of a perfectionist, I wanted to have a female voice that sounded good. Well, I think we all know how difficult that task can be. I have been having such a hard time with this. I can say hello and it sounds totally female. I say any word that starts with an "A" sound and my voice can't move to the upper box.. LOL

Jennaie, you did great! I love the way you have overcome the previous time and have jumped back in the fray! Good for you.:)

Jennaie, congrats on getting out again. I had never been out alone until a few weeks ago, but then had to do it again a few weeks later. It is like a drug. My times out are always in the late morning, and the mall at that time is not crowded at all and you have little or no chance of running into the dreaded teenage girls. Mostly it is women and the elderly, but as lunchtime rolls around it gets more crowded. I would urge anyone who hasn't been out and is thinking about it to consider that time of day.

Way to go, Jennaie !! Barnes and Noble is my favorite store to hang out in, well maybe just behind Fashion Bug anyway. Been in there numerous times and have never had a bad experience. I've had clerks help me look for books, had men open doors for me and have even been flirted with while having coffee in the Starbuck's section.

I think its a very comfortable, non threatening store for you to spend time in and helps build confidence. Maybe you'll become one of the regulars.

Kim

I know what you girls mean when you say you should avoid teenage girls. I avoid them like the plague if I can. I was once read in Wal-Mart by a young girl but fortunately nothing happened.

A bookstore is an example of a good place to experiment with coming out, a place where there are liberal and intellectual people -- which a nightclub or a shopping mall is sometimes not.

Was it as good as the first time out ? Come to that was it as difficult. I would think it was harder, but then i have never stopped.

keep going its fun and its good for you.
Huggzzes
Sam

Very cool, Jennaie! I'm so proud of you, and happy that it went so well. :)

Spending time in the bookstore (Borders in my case since they have more comfy chairs than B&N) is one of my favorite places to while away a few hours. The library is cool also, but, since they don't sell coffee, they don't get to see as much of me.

It sound as if a bookstore is a very favourable location to be out and about when taking the first steps!! I'll keep it in mind, when I do. No forced confrontations, or ones that I can think of before actually going.

Kim...

I know what you are talking about. Never had a problem in any Barnes and Nobles or Fashion Bug and I bet we've been in some of the same ones! But then, I've never had any problem in any store, restaurant, church, or park I visited as Shari. Just can not do it in Redneckville.

Sharifemme

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Originally Posted by Kim E

Way to go, Jennaie !! Barnes and Noble is my favorite store to hang out in, well maybe just behind Fashion Bug anyway. Been in there numerous times and have never had a bad experience. I've had clerks help me look for books, had men open doors for me and have even been flirted with while having coffee in the Starbuck's section.

I think its a very comfortable, non threatening store for you to spend time in and helps build confidence. Maybe you'll become one of the regulars.

Kim

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Congratulations Jennaie on your getting out again.

I know the first time i went out fully femme, I was both very nervous but it was a real thrill to be able to be out.
Just last evening, I was out shopping fully femme,
I was at a mall, and while i have been there femme wearing slacks, it was the first time I had been there wearing a skirt, as previously it was just too cold to wear skirts and the girls were all wearing slacks.
I felt a little concious for the first few, minuets when getting out of the car. I went into Sears, and in a minuet or 2 when browsing throught the sale racks in the ladies dept, i all but forgot i was wearing a skirt, and i felt so good, to be with other ladies, and not have any one staring at me, like what does she ( or worse he ) think she is doing.
Was into a ladies store, where i have bought some nice things, and in this store as soon as you go in, one of the sales girls will acknowledge you, and it is so nice to be treated like a lady.
At the cosmetic counter in sears, the girl there who i have got some items from in the past, told me of a cosmetic show they were having, tickets are available , but the cost will be refunded with the purchase of product, and there are also prizes etc during the show.
I have not found voice to be a big thing, but I do soften my voice when i am femme, but the big thing i have found is to have confidence, be polite to the sales people, and act like it is the most normal thing you do, that is to shop and be out in your femme mode..
Was in one other store had never been in before, and had great interaction with some of the staff there, and if they realized I was TG sure did not show it.
I have never had any problems in any of the department stores, malls or restaurants i have been in, and it makes me feel great to be treated in a positve manner

Denise

Thanks to all of you for your support. I really do appreciate all the tips and advice that I have received from everyone here. I hope that I will be able to go clothing shopping en-femme soon. I have to send my hip and butt enhancer pads back for a little trimming as they do make me look too big in some areas. As soon as I get them back I plan on shopping for clothing. :happy: :happy:

Way to go Jennaie! Good for you..I guess I will live vicareously through you! I am not ready to try same.

Congratulations on getting out! It sounds like you had a great time!

Erica

congrads Jennaie.....I love Barnes and Noble. I go quite often and sit and read and on occasion I will actually have a coffee in their cafe. I find the store very CD friendly and have met othe dressers there.
Keep up thetrips out there is a whole world out there waiting for the fem you.
sally

Well done Jennaie!

I've never been to Barnes and Noble en femme (yet) but I do agree with Buffalo Bill about it being a good place to go. I don't want to be a snob about it, but I do feel that places that are more likely to have "up market people" frequent there or people who are more educated, and/or liberal are much more likely to be less confrontational and tolerant of someone who is a little bit different (that's if they even notice).

As far as not buying anything is concerned.....don't worry about that. It takes a "real man" to interact up close and personal with people whilst dressed as a woman!! :) I'm afraid I haven't graduated to that level yet. (and I don't mean to offend anyone with the "real man" comment....I was just trying to be humorous :)

Anyway, thanks for sharing. Every time I read about a success story from one of my sisters, it motivates me to get out there! :cool:

Jennaie, congrats! That's great that you got out again. I never considered going to the bookstore, but that's a good idea.

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Originally Posted by _Janelle_

...I think Barnes and Noble was a good place to go. Generally not very crowded...

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I don't know about yours, but the B&N around me is always packed! I have been there times where I had to circle the parking lot twice to get a spot. I almost ended up parking across the street.

Am so happy for you! May your outings just keep getting better and better.

Kathy