Hello,
I don't have a female name or pseudonym, but I was wondering - if you do have a femme name does your femme persona have a history different from your own?
luv J
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Hello,
I don't have a female name or pseudonym, but I was wondering - if you do have a femme name does your femme persona have a history different from your own?
luv J
In my case, no.
And to be honest, the idea seems a bit strange.
No, because I don’t have a femme “persona”. I go by a different name, and I may act differently, especially if performing, but I don’t like think of “her” as a different person, and she certainly doesn’t have her own “backstory”
No! Lana Mae is me! My history is her history! She is not independent of me! Hugs Lana Mae
I have other things to occupy my mind than making up a fictitious story about myself. I agree, it is a bit strange. But, whatever gets you through the night.
Only one persona here. Sorry.
I suppose I kinda understand some of the appeal but clearly it's far from enough for any of us to have given it serious consideration.
The girl is too much a part of us to have her own story. As has already been mentioned.
Do tell if you come up with one though. And why you felt the need?
Hi Jacques :hugs:, When I joined the form I need a name, I didn't want a name connected to anyone in my
life past or present, So My favorite color is Blue and my favorite flower is an Orchid and that is
where Blue Orchid came from, Nothing More , Nothing Less. >Orchid ..+:daydreaming:+..
No history for my female persona, but the history of my name is Lisa was the name of a girl I had a major crush on in high school, but she would never give me the time of day, so I took her name. Marie is my grand mother's name.She just accepted me for me. She didn't care if I dressed like a girl or anything else for that matter.
So I've been Lisa Marie since high school, but I've been dressing far longer than that.
You mean like saying one was bitten by a radioactive woman, that sort of thing?
I can't speak for others, but I crossdress to show another one of my true facets. Why should it have a different origin?
Not really, my forum name is just the feminine of my given name, but that is not what I go by now when en-femme. The name I use now I always thought was a pretty girls name ever since I was young.
Why is it people assume there is some huge fantasy to all this?
I am me and don't have time for some contrived story about my name so no there is no back story.
I think I can see what you are getting at but for me the answer is no as there is no separate persona, it is just me.
Lmao at Patience.
I think I was married to a radioactive woman. She sure as hell was toxic! Lol
Not really a back story. As Lana Mae says, I'm just me, but my profile biography will give some idea.
Unusual question, worth asking. Just me here though. Why would I reinvent myself?
No. Like others have said, i don't have a separate "persona".
I dress rather differently depending on where i am / who i'm with, but it's still just me.
Just me here. With a liking for clothes society tells me are for women. Why does 'society' care what I wear?
I'll join the chorus here. While I may have chosen a femme name I I don't have a seperate femme persona history. My femme side is an integral part of me that can not be seperated.
I don't think having a different back story really helps.
I can understand why the question was asked.
as an example not everyone would say they played soccer growing up. this is because historically girls were not allowed to play. Things are much better now.
My history is what it is. However I am careful what I say when I meet someone new.
You can give some details without mentioning if you were male or female.
Remember not everyone gets read all the time.
There is a form of transgenderism that shows the dual persona characteristic. In general it is called bi-gender which is where the two genders have separate personalities. I knew a person back in 2012 when I was going to group therapy that was strongly that way. It is a kind of multiple personality disorder. Tamara really struggled but in time there seemed to be a bit of a merging of the two into more of a single persona that was more comfortable and the previous fairly distinct personalities became more integrated into each other. Bi-genderism is pretty uncommon. Also, chimeras (having two sets of chromosomes of the opposite sex perhaps produced by being a fraternal twin where one twin absorbs the other early in development) tend to have two personas, but they are really rare. One of them came and talked to our group. What a struggle, but a really sweet person with a heart the size of a continent.
The interesting thing is that dealing with these conditions usually involves helping the person merge their identities and personalities to cut off all the conflicts that occur when there are two personas. Back in 2012 I conceptualized myself as two people in one, but quickly realized that is not really a solution to having to come to grips with being some kind of trans person. Now, what was two then, are fully merged and form a single persona with complimentary characteristics that form a complete persona out of a splitting caused by 60 years of denial. The two names do not indicate two personalities, but two interconnected concepts. I seem to be trending toward having just one name so it completes the integration. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. But what I have now is more comfortable than anything I have had in the past.
My brother and I are Identical twins.
I have been working on the family farm and he went into the Air Force. Then worked as a Civil Servant .
We had a portrait made a few years ago.I am the one in the green Formal
My hair is three inches longer no but still as thin in both strand size and density.
Nice reply Gretchen. As ever.
For me my personality is maybe like a mixing desk. Different traits on sliders shifted from time to time. It's how I've developed as a man. I've pushed my 'compassion slider' past 11, for example. I try.
Abbie and male me have different presets on the board. I think. She's a tad happier, a little less highly strung, less hair trigger. She's more mindful too.
But make no mistake the mixing desk is me, and I don't need to know the reason why Abbie or Chris are messing with the sliders. 😬
I'm who I am, I don't use other name, so I don't use other story either.
Gretchen, perfectly said. I actually have some characters of chimerism (my eyes are slightly different colors, for one). And there are two very distinct personalities coexisting in me. Some small examples are the fact that my "brother" does not drink and I love my wine! He hates for his legs to be touched, but when mine are I get all... well, nevermind. 😊 The few people who know about me say I am so different than him. I'm more confident, sassy, and happier. Anyway, maybe we share the major points in our history, but I am not him and he is not me.
I think there is some basis in this just due to the fact that so many of us have had to present a face to the world as "Not a cross dresser", while knowing that really , a cross dresser (or transgender or what have you.) is what we really are. This is especially true of those of us who grew up in the 50's and 60's. There is a big difference between "out" and "not out' and I think that has a lot to do with why many of us are on this site.
It's not exactly a different back story, but it's a different face that we present to the world.
Although persona might not be the right word to use, I can tell you where my name came from. I started out using Resserd (dresser backwards) then eventually changed it to Ressie. I wanted a name that was unusual.
My back story is similar to most CDs. Started out at a young age wearing one fem garment (panties). As time went on I tried on clothes that belonged to my sister, mom and girlfriends. Becoming a member here and seeing how others have developed I got into buying more clothes, wigs, accesories, makeup etc. I've learned so much over the last decade!
I don't really become Ressie when I dress. It's just a name I use when meeting others when temporarily transformed (instead of Bill).
Well said Ressie. You put me in mind of my gamer buddies. To them I'm Icon. And that means Wing Co., good at what I do, leading, being a smart arse etc. Same as Abbie is a name I use when I'm doing these things.
Hey Jacques. We all kinda thought 'duh, no backstory' at first but I love this thread. Thanks
My coworkers learned that Sandy and I share the same
last name because she's my ex-wife (and we're never
seen together due to a restraining order).
IRL I've never been married, if that helps make things
any less weird.
My Texas Bestie Sandy Clifton doesn't chime in often but I knew with 100% certainty she'd comment here. PS - I have no back story, I've just sorta evolved over the decades. Hugs, Michelle
No. I'm me, same as I always have been.
I'm just me. Never tried to be anyone else, but I have spent too many years trying to hide from who I really am due to several (some quite lame) reasons ranging from family and religion to politics. I wish I knew how to explain it better where it could make more sense. I guess the best way of putting it is I lived like a turtle. I had this huge shell of "manly" things that I would bury myself into to hide from who and what I really am.
Cristy 2; I am guessing, most of us have been on similar roads.
I'm re-visiting this thread, because it has been on my mind.
I'd love it if the OP came back and expanded on what she meant by her use of the term 'backstory'.
In my younger days, I was an avid role player gamer. 'Dungeons & Dragons', 'Rifts', 'Gamma World', and a host of others. So to me, the term 'backstory' is what we gamers would do to flesh out our characters in order to give them 3-dimensionality, and a sense of history.
I don't want to seem derisive, or condemning, but the OP's use of 'backstory' made me think that they consider their crossdressing to be a fantasy game, and that others share that view.
Now I know we have the gamut here, from those that only wear panties all the way up and including post-op transpeople, so I'm curious as to the direction that the OP is heading in.
Interesting take on the question, Jodie. I agree that some might take offense to the notion (implied or not) that being TG is akin to an RPG. On the other hand, for some, that's probably a big part of it. More power to them - consenting adults and all that.
I'd like to think that anyone who has spent any time here and paid attention to what's going on would realize, ...and respect, that not everyone is into role-playing in that way. You don't have to be Captain Obvious to realize that for some, playing the role that came with our gender at birth is the make believe part.
@Aunt Kelly, oh I wasn't offended, by any means!
I'm just trying to figure out the OP's angle, what she is hoping to find from this.
Yes, sort of. I'm guessing that the difference is between those whose crossdressing is a facet of their personality vis-a-vis those of us who are more transgendered.
I've never thought of myself as anything but a girl. However; I was the first born grandchild on both sides of the family. I was also the first born grandson ( which sounds strange to me just saying that) to a man who very much wanted a grandson. A "manly grandson". I also have the added "bonus" of being the oldest son of the oldest son, back as far anyone could remember. I know that in today generation that doesn't mean as much as it used to, but I still caught the residue.
I had to learn to be a boy, then a man. I did all the manly things and really I do have two seperate personalities. Though I don't black out or lose time or anything like that. But; I do tend to have different taste, desires, needs,ect .
For instance my "brother" is hetero, the idea that he would have sex with a man would make him a bit unsettled. He is not homophobic, just not his cup of tea. Absolutely not turned on by the idea. And a good thing, will decades in the Army he doesn't need to think inappropriate thoughts in the shower....
Having said that both sides have their own real histories and memories. Most memories are common but some just sort of fade away when the "other" is in charge. I don't really remember his combat experiences and he doesn't remember my sexual experiences. I think we both could if we wanted to, we just don't want to. I also tend to compartmentalize very well. I have friends, my "brother" has friends and there is a small group of close friends who know both. Those that know both commonly tell me that we are just two different people, in every way that counts.
So, the original question. Yes, I have a different backstory from my "brother" but only because we have lived our lives as two different people living in two different worlds with two sets of unique memories. We even have different hobbies. I restore antiques, he restores muscle cars.
I wanted to ad that when I saw the original post, I thought it a very natural question. Not just from my perspective but I know drag queens who have back stories for their "characters". I know a few others that live seperate lives.
I was kind of surprised when I saw all the "no's.
I am with you Michellebej. In my mind and opinion, feel everyone has a back story. It is just how strong and surreal it is compared to their real life. Even those of us who are 24/7 have a point where they used a back story until they could finally go 24/7.
I'm not sure if that question involves just our 'femme' name that we've chosen.
I do have a back story, not sure if that involves my dressing and urge to do so. Only since last year I've been thinking about that.
Perhaps my story sounds a little weird, but this happened to me.
When I went to elemntary school, I went to school with the daughter of our neighbours. One day, he mother and she invited me for a swim at a lake nearby, we both must have been around 6-8 years, many many years ago.
Her name was Anja.
After swimming her mother wanted to change her bathing suit. Anja got completly naked.
I believe it must have been a schock for me, because I saw a penis between her legs.
I never had anymore contact with her, I don't know if we would call her intersexual, perhaps she was one of the few people born with two genders - physically.
That incident did change something in me, but I can't really explain that. I do have a lot of respect for transwomen, that's for sure.
Aunt Kelly makes a good point.
To somebody that does this for a fun thing or on a lark might have a fantasy about it all so they would see things that way.
Even might think everyone is just like them. Projecting is what that is called.
My "back story" is way more interesting than my trans story that is for sure.
Not any more. That went away once I was fully out to friends and family, and living full time female. I legally merged my female chosen first name and birth surname, and the male me is now acknowledged past.
When I first started going out in public en-femme, I kept my male and female lives separate. Did not frequent the same places, and had entirely different circles of friends. The only places things crossed over was shopping, where for the most part I was just another face in a crowd.
At that time, when en-femme, I would state I was widowed. This was true, though the phrase ‘I am a widow’ implies female, and I never said I was a ‘widower’, the much less used male term.
If anyone asked why the surname I used - “Murakami” - was Japanese, while my appearance wasn't at all Asian, I stated it had been my late husband’s surname. But almost no one ever asked that.
I implied I had beed married to a man, but usually did not say so directly. If anyone assumed that the daughter I acknowledged having was one I had birthed, I did not correct that error. Sometimes, in LGBTQ settings, I would state that it was my daughter’s ‘birth mother’ who was my deceased mate - also true, but implying we had a lesbian relationship, which we did not.
If anyone assumed I was cisgender female - and I did pass that well in many straight social settings - I did not correct that error, unless they seemed to want to get more intimate than hugs and dancing. If they wanted kisses or more, I was open about being trans. In general, among friends, I was open about being trans, and having repressed that until after my wife died. This I still do. I am female now!
As I started to come out, and occasionally would appear at the same historical reenactment (SCA) events as both my old male persona, and my new female one, I would say we were cousins, to explain the facial resemblance. But again, I rarely had need to do so.
But you laid it out, right there: A Drag Queen, who is performing a show, is a 'character', like any actor/actress. Just because they glam up, doesn't mean that they live their lives that way. Paul Andre Charles is NOT the same as his alter ego.
YaYa Han (an Asian-American cosplayer, and cis-female) is NOT the anime characters she portrays.
I would think that most crossdressers, while having a female name and persona, are not playing a game, and therefore have no need of a backstory. Unless they are indulging in a fetish-y kind of role play. Which, I might add, is perfectly fine.
But drag queens are (for the most part) literally portraying a character. It’s the same as an actor playing a character and that character having back story.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
While extremely uncommon, men CAN get breast cancer and if there’s a family history, you should be careful.
I don't complete understand your proposal but may be my names history fits.
I always love the name of Vanessa. The story doesn't matter now but was very sensual and sexual for me. My name David, obviously is a man's name so being a trasgender on HRT my life and mindset changed and Vanessa didn't fit who I am. My wife always used a nickname for David as Devito, but short it to Devi. I was decided to be Debbie that sounds similar but one day driving and Indian indu lady told me that Devi is a the name of the main goddess, mother of all gods in Hinduism and was considered a beautiful name, then she told me, I don't know that Devi fits you better than Debbie and I found she has the reason.
About a separate or parallel life or story, we all trasgenders begin living our trans life early in life but some as me didn't identify those treats in their moment, for different reasons we can mentally block them, but now my life began early in my childhood around my fourth year.
hello all,
many thanks for your replies - I have enjoyed reading them.
For me I am a private crossdresser with a beard so it is not a huge issue for me (apart from occasionally when shopping). But if I tried to pass it might be. For example I would have trouble explaining how I attended a boys only school if I was female.
My question was prompted by a story I heard on the radio where a female media personality in the UK invented her own agent to manage her bookings, and then people wanted to speak to and meet agent, so she had to start inventing more and more complex stories to explain why her agent was busy ...
That just sparked my curiosity, which you have now satisfied. Many thanks
Luv J
Well, as the story suggests, doing so creates more problems than it solves.
In my opinion, crossdressing is an exercise in fantasy, not farce. Ok, maybe even a bit of farce, but only up to a point.