Is crossdress a kink or something else?

Hi everyone,

I don't know if this is a dumb topic or point to be confused about but does anyone else struggle with pinning down if crossdressing is a kink or something else? I'm in my mid 20's and still can't make up my mind. I mostly like wearing lingerie, mostly knickers which I know is a very common kink in lots of hetro men, but I also kinda want to look good in them. I don't know, I know I'm not trans I enjoy being a guy and I don't exactly like wearing dresses... its more like I'd see a really attractive girl in leggings and sportswear at the gym and I know that she looks great and everything but I also feel kinda jealous. Whatever this is probably not even written well enough for anyone to understand but if anyone has an opinion I'd love to hear it!

**if this post is in the wrong place or just crap feel free to move or delete, thanks!!

Hi Ashley,
I see this is your first post.

Quote:

---

Here are a few guidelines to help you navigate the forum.

You will find that you can only post in certain sections, all new members are restricted in this way until they have 10 posts. Once you have reached this, a number of other forums will open for you. This includes a section dedicated to Clothing, Shopping and Beauty. If you post a topic in the main M2F forum that should be in a restricted access section, it will be deleted and you will be invited to repost once you have access (10 posts)

Most, if not all, of your questions can be answered in the Rules and FAQs section. Please read these before asking any question regarding the use of the forum and your profile.

You will not have access to the Private Messaging system until you reach 10 posts, however, should you need to contact any staff you can start a thread here. Only members of the moderating staff and yourself can see the thread once you have started it.

---

You may want to go to the Introduction section and tell us a little more about yourself.

I hope you enjoy the forum.

Thanks for the info, I've just whopped an awkward post in there now! I'll try not to be a pain or do anything too stupid hopefully, thanks!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ashley.x.Skies

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is a dumb topic or point to be confused about but does anyone else struggle with pinning down if crossdressing is a kink or something else?

---

Welcome to the forums!

For many, CD-ing is a fetish, or a thing, or a joyously exciting sexual thrill.

For some, it is just the beginning of a far longer journey. Only you can determine where it will lead. :)

Not dumb. I get it. Many of us are trying to figure out where we fit in. Do what makes you feel comfortable and don't worry about what other people think. Many crossdressers are hetero and live a very masculine role in the every day world. I worked in law enforcement for over 25 years and am a volunteer firefighter for almost 30.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Michelle_G

Not dumb. I get it. Many of us are trying to figure out where we fit in. Do what makes you feel comfortable and don't worry about what other people think. Many crossdressers are hetero and live a very masculine role in the every day world. I worked in law enforcement for over 25 years and am a volunteer firefighter for almost 30.

---

Wow, you know law enforcement is actually the career that I'm trying to get into, I wouldn't have thought that many cops would CD even behind closed doors.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jodie_Lynn

For many, CD-ing is a fetish, or a thing, or a joyously exciting sexual thrill.

For some, it is just the beginning of a far longer journey. Only you can determine where it will lead. :)

---

Hii, thankss!
Well that's reassuring to know, it just seems like a bit more effort to be just a kink if that makes sense, I dunno.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ashley.x.Skies

Wow, you know law enforcement is actually the career that I'm trying to get into, I wouldn't have thought that many cops would CD even behind closed doors.

---

Hun, I was a LEO for 10 years. Under my uniform, under my body armor, I often wore panties and a camisole. :)

I'm a SCORPIO myself. Sorry, just couldn't resist. Ashley, I too have worn uniform. There are supermany reasons for our crossdressing. I wouldn't call it kink. And if for some it is, that's ok. For some it's a fetish. You'll be doing some reading on the subject I will assume. One explanation that really works for me is an old Indian belief that suggested men who dressed and did woman's work in the tribe were known as Twin Spirits. They were often revered because of the belief that they could switch between genders at will. They sometimes became shamans or healers. Just one of the many possibilities. Find an explanation that works for you. For me personally, dressing, in the closet, is an outer expression of my inner feelings. Works for me. Welcome to this forum,

Ineke

I have always had blue collar jobs, and did some security police and guard work, too. I could hardly wait to get home and change from uniform, into Alice. I have never been married, and i think Marines, cops, construction, and Firemen and other macho career men, face terrible stressful binds, and "straight jacketing", and testosterone, that we will snap, unless we can disengage all that crazymaking, and enjoy the silky word of dressing as women, as a break from the binds of being a male today, enjoying some of the female variety and privilege men are denied.

Hi Ashley. I remember my 20s distinctly with regard to this sort of thing. The pink fog, or wave more like, would often be triggered by seeing a beautiful woman wearing something amazing. I would quickly flip from desiring her to wanting to be her and experience what she experiences. Impossible to achieve I know, and that may or may not be a kink, but it's the way it often went.

I would say the answer is “yes”, to all of those options.

For some, definitely a kink.

For others, not at all.

And for others, somewhere in between.

You will find all of those views represented here.

For myself? I wondered if it was just a kink. I rapidly decided that it was not.

For some it may be a kink, for some it is trying something new out not knowing how it will turn out, for some it is the styart of a way of life and no longer a kink. For me it was never a kinky or a seek for thrills it was just a slow progression into a feminine world where wearing lingerie and such like every day at home was the most natural thing to do.

I was a commercial long haul truck driver for over 40 years so you will find all types here.
There are no dumb questions so don't worry about that ask anything you want.Asking questions is how you learn things.
I'm trans so none of this is a kink for me but for many its a kink or a fetish,for some its an actual hobby.

When I was younger, there was kink associated with it, but in my 50s, not so much.

I started dressing at 4or5. So it didn't start as a kink but in my teens and twenty's it was a factor. It has faded as I have aged, now dressing just part of who I am.
Sara

Originally I think it was a kink but it morphed into more of a desire to express my feminine side, which is quite strong. However I also have what many consider "typical" masculine characteristics. It is something that each of us has to work out for ourselves. It took me quite a while before I fully accepted my feminine side, and each individual is different.

I often ponder that question myself. I do enjoy womens clothes - they have so much more variety, they're sexy, they colorful - so much fun putting outfits together. And womens clothes feel *so nice*. I fantasize of dressing up and being with a man - and sometimes that feeling, that desire is overwhelming. I guess there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. For me despite several (painful) purges over the years I can't shake it off, it's who I am.

I'd say YES.
It's a kink for some and much more for others.
We are all varied in our tastes and desires and that's just wonderful. Diversity keeps things interesting.

For me it's not a kink. It's much more than that. It's part of me, always has been and always will be.

I think it is a lot of different things depending on the person. When I was a horny teenager it definitely had a kink aspect to it.

Ashley, let me explain how it is/was for most of us:

Almost everyone of us was aroused by dressing at one time or another.:o
I've been getting turned on for over 20 years by becoming and seeing Sherry in my mirror!:daydreaming:

There r certain items that turn each of us on and most of us started by wearing just those! Panties and nylons r common ones. I started that way. But, moved on to trying on other fem things! Now, I only dress all the way or not at all.:battingeyelashes:

Many of us lose the excitement from dressing over time and/or want to get out to meet other T's dressed. (But, not me!) I'm a CD and could care less about dressing every day. But, I go out often to meet my T friends at T friendly clubs, events, and venues!:hugs::drink:

Hi Ashley,

Welcome to the forum!!!

People crossdress for a variety of reasons and I think for the normal hetero guy who has a desire to dress there is some level of kink associated with it. I enjoy people watching and when I see a look that I like on a woman I really want to replicate her it :daydreaming:

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” ― Oscar Wilde

Ashley,

There can't be many who go from zero to fully blown crossdresser in one mighty bound. For most it's a progression, something that evolves over time. The more you do, the more you see what the possibilities are. You get better at it and that offers more reward.

As you spend time here you'll no doubt see questions asked about "why we do it" and while many can tell you just what they get out of it, many can't give you a reason as to why the started in the first place. It's oh so easy to overthink things and one of the seminal moments for many is the one where they stop worrying about what and why and just accept it's part of who they are.

Go with the flow. Take it as far as you want to but be warned. It can be like letting the Genie out of the bottle. Once out it's out for good.

Ashley,

Whatever it is today may be something different tomorrow , because it evolves , it changes and the needs change as we get older . Back in my late teens early twenties it meant something totally different to what it does now . I never dreamed I would be out full time and enjoying being accepted as a woman . Maybe it was a kink in my earlier years but it's changed and now I have a balance . I wear the underwear not for some kink but it's what any woman would wear , it feels totally normal .

Hi Ashley,
To answer your OP yes I am currently struggling to work out if this is a kink or something else. I am just over 30 and have been asking myself this question a lot in the past few years. I feel it must be more than "just" a kink as I feel so compelled to dress at times, kink side can be annoying.

I also get the jealousy aspect, except dresses are what I think people look best in and often fantasize what it would be like to wear such outfits care free.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat about anything, seems we might be in a similar state of confusion.

Ashley, you are what YOU are, call it what you like, and that's OK. Enjoy! You mentioned that you enjoy lingerie, primarily knickers. You will seek other items of female garments as the Pink Fog begins to envelop you. When it does, enjoy it, as we do. Welcome!

I can tell you what cross dressing is not, a phase that leaves after a while. My wife told me once that she thought it was a phase. I would guess that everyone, ok almost everyone here would agree on that.

I agree with Crissy, I would also add tht it is not kinky, a fetish or weird or a fantasy. Crossdressing no matter what level you are at is a very real thing having both meaning and truth. Dressing is something that will never go away it is within us all of the time.

It’s an incredible journey. Initially for me, it was always surrounded with secrecy and shame but as I got older and went to college, I figured out who I was and began to accept this female side of me. Over the years, that self love/confidence allowed me to share it with my current wife who, luckily fully accepts and supports me.

I can also echo that it really doesn’t “go away” and really try to avoid purging and throwing things away trying to convincing yourself that if I throw it away, I won’t be tempted. :straightface:

It is a spectrum and I personally really enjoy going for the full head to toe transformation as I’ve gotten older. Good luck!

You ask a common question, and a very complicated one.
Crossdressing is a kink, but not just a kink. As a kink it has sexual aspects. However, it also provides comfort, releases stress, and self identity. It is who I am. Kinks are normally caused for psychological reasons, but crossdressing may well have a biological origin. It seems to be how our brains are hardwired. Men's and women's brains are wired differently, using different neural pathways. Crossdressers and transgenders often have brains that are part male and part female.

Who cares if it is a "kink" or not. If you are enjoying yourself and not hurting anyone else that's what matters. Having said that it can be depending how you and others, if you are out to others, take it. It's up to you. Sherrii

To some it's a kink but to others its anything but.

A lot of us start CDing really young. So when puberty rolls around yeah there's an element of kink, but then breathing a kink during those years. For some that persists but I'd hazard that for the vast majority of us sex is not at the heart of our dressing. We may still get aroused while dressed but not necessarily because we're dressed.

Whatever your own reason for your love of lingerie, Ashley, don't sweat it. No one here will judge whether it's a wanking aid or you eventually transition. You're among friends.

In the eyes of the mainstream society it is a kink. How you perceive it is up to you. For me it’s part of a female side to my nature. I see a look I like on a woman and want to copy it. There are worse kinks to have. Self acceptance is a hard thing to master. Understanding wife and friends help enormously. Good luck!