Hi ladies, had this question in my head a little earlier today. Are dresses (frocks, ball gowns, etc) the ultimate epitome of femininity? Be curious to know what others here think.
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Hi ladies, had this question in my head a little earlier today. Are dresses (frocks, ball gowns, etc) the ultimate epitome of femininity? Be curious to know what others here think.
Shirley,
Only when worn in the right context . I wouldn't wear the dress in my avatar to walk the dog or push the supermarket trolley but I wore it for a birthday dinner party in a local hotel , then it felt right , yes it did feel feminine .
I’d say, short answer, NO.
Micki's right.
My slightly longer answer is, no. The "epitome" of femininity does not come from clothes, or hair, or makeup. I expect that there are any number of cis women who would, justifiably, take issue with the notion that those trappings are what define them. I know a few who wouldn't be caught dead in a dress or skirt, and of those, a few who might be willing throw down at such a suggestion.
Now, if we qualify the assertion with "...for a cross-dresser...", I'm sure we'd find broader agreement.
Short answer; No! I've encounter many women over the years that were dolled up with great makeup........and, then they opened their mouths and spoke.
I've mentioned several times on this issue about a young woman driving a cement mixer. She was short and on the petite side. Long blond hair. She was wearing jeans, steel toed work boots, flannel shirt, reflective vest and hard hat. She had one of the most radiant smiles I've ever seen. She was one of the most feminine creatures I've ever seen. I don't think any dress would have made any improvements. Likewise, I've seen many women attired in jeans, athletic shoes and graphic tee shirts radiating with poise and confidence who displayed outward femininity.
I don't want to be shot down by anyone on this site. The same analysis goes for men. Well groomed, etc, and, then they spoke.
I have thought about this before and the one article of clothing that is the epitome of femininity would have to be...
The Bra
A bra is the one single garment that GM's have never worn throughout history nor is there is a GM equivalent of it.
Along with Aunt Kelly, there is no piece of clothing that defines “femininity” which is more a state of mind and behavior. The same answer applies to masculinity.
I agree with Roberta, The bra is the most feminine article of clothing. But the male equivalent is a jock strap.
Sara
I was thinking the same thing, and how absurd it sounds; the suggestion that the epitome of masculinity is an athletic supporter.
The non-protective ones might be the one article of clothing that is for GM's only.Quote:
Originally Posted by sara66
They make pelvic protectors for women that are basically a woman's "cup" to prevent sporting injuries.
A pretty, sexy woman will look that way in anything! Take Charlize Theron for example.:battingeyelashes:
Maybe u meant FEEL feminine, Shirley?:brolleyes:
But does womens clothing alone exhibit femininity alone? surely a women dressed in whatever she chooses is said to be looking feminine because that is what women on the whole wear. Femeninity must include a whole plethora of ingredients, poise, mannerisms and so forth.
How one is from whatever level of society is not a decisive factor in the degree of femininty. Every women nto a degree has a level of femininty around them no matter what they wear.
I vote Floral Summer Dresses!
Absolutely, when you see a dress you think women not lumberjack..
This is why I prefer to wear a dress, and why when I was first going out I would refuse to wear pants when my BFF would beg me to. She even gave me a stack of them so I couldn't use that excuses.
I'm differently treated differently when in a dress opposed to pants or even shorts by the public. I can remember the first time I wore pants out. My friends were what's this casual Thursday? They are used to seeing me in a dress and heels. If it is cold I wear tights.
Yes women can be feminine in whatever they wear, but the same women in pants or dress? I say she is more feminine in the dress.
My MOM always wore a dress and didn't own a single pair of pants or shorts. I can't even remember her ever wearing a skirt. When I cleaned out my sister's apartment (earlier this year) I found that she didn't have a single dress or skirt. All women are not the same.
Some of the comments here are making me smile , we come to Crossdressers .Com because in the desciption of that title we wear clothes of the opposite sex .
Take a look at at many of the threads to read why so many of us do it and the reasons behind it , to many the clothes portray them as women , they can be sexy , or feminine or whatever else floats your boat . Women can use clothes to portray mood and feelings far more than men can , they know as well as we do what it feels like to wear a sexy skirt and high heels , they know how to dress down or dress up , they know how to express their femininity , they certainly can't express those feelings naked ! So if a guy has a female trait or a need to express themsleves in thay way what is the difference ? On more than one occasion I've been told it's not about the clothes , I agree not entirely but they are a large part of the equation .
I consider myself pretty good now at choosing the right outfit for the right occasion , because I do now see it very much the way a woman sees it , if I go to my painting group I know what will be right , I will possibly never wear a dress because it isn't a case of showing femininity , I feel I'm one of the ladies now enjoying my painting and being socialable . I wore a skirt to take my daughter shopping because I wanted to feel more feminine , my daughter said I looked nice .
To me it's no longer CDing it's part of my everyday life , Again I'm going to repeat Pat's words , " Don't overthink it !" That comment was made when I was first considering going full time , when I was debating what was too much and what was too little . If some days I do want to feel more feminine I know what I'll be wearing to enjoy that feeling , just like any woman would .
As far as women's clothing goes dresses are near the top of what's most feminine. What's number one is subjective.
In my response (#5) I offered my opinion on dresses = femininity. If there is voting going on for most feminine dresses, then I have to agree with Judy. I love summer floral dresses. It may be a combination of the bright colors in patterns of flowers and the fact I love to grow flowers that prompts my vote. And, I'll throw in floral pattern panties of which I am starting to have a nice collection of vintage Vanity Fair floral panties.Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
The "epitome of feminity" is not a dress and neither can be makeup. Infact there is no epitome of feminity. Feminity is infinite, cant have a peak or limit. However feminity or being feminine can have a seed or a starting point and thats the will/desire/yearning to be feminine. When that seed sprouts, it branches, it foliages, it flowers, it falls down, it emerges again. There is no epitome, there are no tombs, there are no milestones; its a journey, an endless journey, journey being the nectar driving the journey ahead.....
I third your vote, but with one exception.Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
Why can't I wear floral dresses all year long? I love the bright colors and appreciate a dress that has multiple colors in various shades.
No.
As a MIAD I wear dresses and skirts but I do not feel feminine.
Perhaps, but I think the epitome would actually be lingerie.
A woman in a beautiful dress is sexy, but a woman in beautiful lingerie is sensuous.
The epitome of femininity is going through pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding a newborn. Basically, IMO, the most 'female' of things/actions/behaviors in existence. None of which, I suppose, will likely be experienced by men. I know it's possible for men to lactate, given the right hormones, but you probably wouldn't want the child consuming any of that in breast milk.
I won't claim to have an answer to what is the epidome of femininity but i dont think it has anything to do woth clothes. Most of the clithes now considered femeale have been worn by men in through out history. The styles were different but the. So was everything else. In fact dresses in history were more elogant then they are today. So no i dont belive a dress is the epitome of femininity.
Jean you have not seen me in a dress. Well, maybe linebacker in a dress.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean 103
Sure, when the rest of the look lines up. Face, figure, accessories, shoes, makeup, hair...
Otherwise, it's just a tube of fabric. A comfortable, indulgent tube of fabric, but still just a tube of fabric.
Most of the threads here deal with the superficial (clothes & makeup) aspects of being a female.
For me, the epitome of femininity is when she is holding down a full time job, dealing with babies, daycare, school functions, perhaps a handicapped child, teens, maybe SO's activities (or if a single mom - even more responsibilities), mortgage, car payments, bills AND then trying to look presentable after baby spit up or sitting in the rain watching a soccer game.
Char,
Maybe slip the shoe on the other foot and imagine you suffer from dysphoria , what would identify masculinity to you , part of that equation would be the clothes .
Lets not forget the number of single parent famillies , men have taken on many of the female roles but I'm sure they admit it doesn't make them feel feminine .
I get treated like a woman because I dress like a woman , I admit it is a thin veneer but it's that outer layer that achieves it for me , looking feminine makes me feel feminine and that's how I get treated . I see the clothes as the window to the World of how I feel inside , I don't see it as superficial , without shouting I'm TG from the rooftops it's the only way I can put the message across .
My thread running at the moment about my neighbour revealing the truth is all about looking feminine because of the clothes I wear . The picture of the dress in my avatar was taken outside a hotel before a birthday dinner , I did feel feminine .
When I was still with my wife I did the cooking , cleaning , shopping and the washing and ironing , I had to do it in drab , it didn't make me feel feminine .
Teresa,Quote:
Originally Posted by ShirleyN
I was replying to MY idea of femininity as it relates to the OP's post. Not trying to debate the issue. I'm sure everyone has a different idea.
Char,
I understand , it's often overlooked that we do cover a wide spectrum .
I go with the bra as defining femininity.
To me, it is a tie between hose, heels, bra and dresses.
Hello Shirley,
Good question, I think that stuffed bras or lace bras with padding are the epitome of femininity.
My reasoning is that Scottish and Irish straight men can "wear a skirt" but call it a kilt and a good day lol so if you look at the skirt as a piece of clothing then it seems both genders wear them still to this day. It goes the same with Pacific and native tribes, a dress or skirt is considered part of ceremony.
Breasts. Breasts are what make the female form. Even with women that have very small breasts there is still this stigma about seeing them naked. Unlike a man, we can be shirtless anytime, even the slightest exposure or tell tale shape of a breast is sure to catch the attention of man and woman alike. Even when a man has breasts due to weight or affliction, we call them breasts and the psychology that plays on a man's brain is insane to say the least.
So to me I'm still in boy mode until I'm wearing my padded bra, even facial hair doesn't matter, I've seen plenty of GGs that have a darker mustache than me.
I love wearing dresses. I have over 1000 and I spend most of my time in them though I am currently sitting in a skirt and top. I love how they feel and how I look in them but at no point do I feel feminine - I am just me in different clothes. As a hetero male, I love seeing a woman in a nice dress but as others have said real femininity (or a male perception of it) is about so much more. A woman can be wearing an old T shirt and shapeless trousers and look the loveliest person on earth. Attempting to define femininity is going to be dangerous for anyone born male and whatever it is, different genders (including the trans range) are going to have different versions. But if it works for you, then it works and no one is harmed. If you feel feminine in a dress - whatever that means for you - I don't think anyone should argue - especially if feeling feminine makes you happy.
Palaina,
Thats an interesting comment about a bra and showing a bust . I admit I felt slightly uneasy at first wearing a tight Tshirt and showing a reasonable bust , my thoughts were women would be upset and lampooned knowing it wasn't all real . The truth is most women obviously appear aware of them , to some they're stuck with something they don't totally like , I'm not saying it's a taboo subject but it's something they don't often discuss . Now I accept they see me and my shape is acceptable as a woman , but I don't feel they think it's displaying their femininity . Men may have a thing about boobs but women on the whole don't .
As for exposing them , on the whole most women are happy to keep them covered , women can be very critical of their own bodies , many of these fashion trends are designed to make women feel better about themselves .
I can wear pants anytime, but a dress is a treat.
I feel feminine when in MIAD mode, just not female.Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeA
For me, a dress is one of the most feminine pieces of clothing. I agree a bra is too but most of the time you aren't seeing people in their bras so a dress is more publicly seen typically. And even within the range of dresses, aren't some dresses more feminine than others? Such as a brown formless shift dress vs a fit and flare pink floral dress.
I would have to agree that dresses are the ultimate expression of femininity to me.
I don't have any dress pants....
There is nothing like the feeling of a light delicate dress .
i agree with most replies here myself. I probably should have asked "Are Dresses the ultimate feminine garment?" I aslo agree that femininity is much more than just clothes (i.e. nuture, empathy, etc.)
Hi Shirley, Oh, fun topic. No, I don't think they are "the ultimate epitome of femininity". Femininity covers so much more, but they certainly add to it.
Shirley,
After reading many of the replies , I couldn't stop thinking what really does tip the scales .
Then I realised it's not so much the clothes but the body wearing them , by this I mean having little or no body hair . I only had to think back to when my wife was getting ready for a night out she would have a long soak in a scented bath and then apply body cream and powder , to me it was her way of feeling more feminine . If I can relate to that the feeling after a total body shave does feel very special , not having any body hair is a very feminine feeling . OK I'm sure some will reply saying not all guys have body hair , I guess they are the lucky ones .
I now shave everyday so the feeling has worn off so I'm very much in tune with women who on a daily basis wouldn't give the lack of hair a second thought , seen in this light I do feel sorry for women who have a body hair problem .
As this is CDs.com I take this question as more to do with representing female opposed to actually being a GG.
Staying in the PG range, something you could or in my case would wear out in public.
To the lumberjack comment is a reference to a Monty Python skit.