The darker side of barhopping while dressed up.
Hello all,
For those who are newly venturing out into gay bar/dance club/drag show environments as a safe place to dress up, I would like to share some of my experiences. You may find it helpful. I had stated in my introduction a few days ago, I found that dressing up at gay bars to be a very positive and safe environment to socialize and meet other people while fully dolled up. It has really been great for the most part, but there can be some unexpected consequences so you should be prepared, and that's what I would like to share.
First off, it is rare to have any problems. Most people are very nice. Also, if you are not sure, you can go dressed as a man first, and talk to the bartender about dressing up. Show him or her some pictures. Most of the time they will say something like this ? ?oh you should have come dressed up tonight. You look good.? That is a good way to test the waters so to speak if you are unsure.
-Now for the darker side of things. When all dolled up, I am dressed to get attention - not ****ty (usually) but skirts that are a little short, fairly large breast forms, blond wig, and bright lipstick, etc. Obviously I am dressing for attention, and it works. When talking with GGs, I make is clear I am not hitting on them, and it paves the way for wonderful conversations. It?s great - but there will be some men who are attracted to you. Now I am not gay, but I am attracted to the person I see in my mirror at home so it is not surprising others might be as well. Trust me; the ring on the finger does not stop them. The thing I did not understand at first is that when a man puts his hand on your leg, you have to make approval or disapproval known immediately. Apparently, no response is seen as a positive response, and you are likely to have a hand going up your skirt quite quickly. A couple of GGs I talked with confirmed that notion. I am kind of weird in some way because I don't mind people touching my legs, etc. but I would NEVER touch someone without asking first. I think it was 4 times I have had men try to put their hands up my skirt to date. I don't think it is appropriate, but like I said I am not offended easily, so as long as they stop right away when asked, I am not freaked out over it. Just remember, once touched, you have to state what you allow or disallow or you will end up surprised. I am just giving you fair warning that if you appear attractive, you WILL be hit on at some point. Don't let it surprise you too much.
This brings me to what does offend me. This one guy was stinking intoxicated last Friday. I was talking with a couple of nice GGs at the bar, and he sits next to me and was blabbing something. He was so drunk it was hard to understand him, and the music was loud. One of the GG's asked me if she wanted me to get rid of him because she said she was good at it. I just waved her off because he was not annoying me yet. He got up and was tripping around with his shoes falling off. One of the GGs was telling him to pick them up before someone trips on them, so he trips and catches himself by grabbing her shoulders. I was close to intervening but held off because she fended him off nicely. He went away, and I did not think much about it much other than thinking that he was annoyingly intoxicated - way beyond being tipsy. Later I bump into the same guy in a hallway, and he wants a hug so I let him. The only thing, he is giving me a hard squeeze for what I considered too long while pressing himself into one of my boobs. I expected more like two pats on the back, and we are done. He immediately wants another hug, and I said - uh, no I am done with the free hugs. I knew what he was doing, I am not stupid. I was not drunk FYI. He then proceeds to try to hug me again, and now I am holding him off with one arm. Then he gets argumentative with me, while I am trying to walk away. He would not knock it off saying thing like "what, you don't like hugs, where I come from everyone likes hugs". Finally, in a quite loud and stern voice I had to say "You are lecturing me, and I do not appreciate it, our conversations are done, got it!" I was really PO'd at this point, and ready to go to security, but he did not follow me after that. Then when the club closed he was standing outside. As I was leaving, I told the door staff to keep an eye out to make sure nothing happened as I left. Nothing did, I walked out into the street to avoid getting close to him on the sidewalk full of people. I was ready to deck the guy as I am a foot taller and not intoxicated. Fortunately, he did not pursue me any further, but his blasted cologne got on ME and stunk me up like him. I prefer to smell like Poison Girl, ha ha.
In the end it worked out fine, but this kind of thing can happen although rarely. Just don't get intoxicated yourself and keep your cool. Hmm, that is another story I will have to tell you all about on another post.
Later folks ? I know it?s long ? maybe too long. I would appreciate your feedback comments as to whether you like hearing about such things in expanded detail. After all, I can?t tell anyone else about it because it?s DADT right?
Sandi
