No Way Out

This will be long. First I was going with There's no cure for this. But that would imply that crossdressing was a sickness watch it is not.

There's no way out of this. You open the first door with your first pair of panties you try on. They feel good so you do it again. Doesn't mater what age but it's a start that door is open once inside you can't go back. You may go year before you open the next door and try on a slip it feels so good but some thing missing. It needs a bra if socks in it. But now you have gone though another door and you can't get out. You try you stop dressing for 1 - 2 maybe 5 years.

Now you're going out with women. All's good then they leave some of their cloths with you. You touch them and it all starts where you stopped all over again. But you want more you put on a skirt or dress. It great then the lipstick. You tell yourself this must stop I'm getting married going to have kids. So you stop but that door was open and it wont close or let you back.

Years go by the wife has things to she wants you to do the wash while she away with the kids being a nice guy you do. But while putting away her panties and bra that door open again and you try them on. But now you want your own. So you buy some saying they're for your wife. Now you have a stash started. you like buy things bras, panties slips. You buy your first dress can't wait to put it on. But now you need heels. But that is as far as you'll go.

Years go by your stash has grown. You want more maybe a wig or just a few pieces of makeup. Another door opened. You buy nylons/pantyhose they make your legs look great and feel good to but something wrong you need to shave your legs. OOH! the feeling you can't go back.

The wife and kids are gone for a week or you away by yourself. You get dressed you go out for the first time. Another door just open and you can't go back.

So what I'm saying is we're in a maze with no way out. Once in we keep getting in deeper and we can't stop ourselves. We purge but we always come back. We stop but we start up where we stopped.

Also if you are thinking about a relationship let them know before you do and make sure they know how much of this is you and that it won't stop.

I have been dressing for 68 years. Been thinking this for weeks. This is not my life only but what I have read here and friends I know.

I'm glad u cleared up the "u" part at the end, Glenda. That u meant u and your friends. Because altho my journey and past and present dressing experience is VERY different than u and them?:battingeyelashes:

The resulting, "No way out. No cure", is exactly the same!:doh:

There is a beginning and end to everything physical. I know there will be a sure end to my dressing as male or female, when i am too old, ill or dead, or made spirit.

Is it entering a trap, or freeing yourself from one?

This certainly echoes the process that I experienced. However, I think the analogy that I would use would be less like a trap, but more like a door that is locked from the outside that one freely enters for whatever reason. Across the room is another door locked from the outside that is then freely entered. A lifetime later I have found myself deep inside the mansion without the keys to get back through the doors that I have come through. The only thing to do is to follow the path to the next door. I am fortunate in that I have a wife who is not looking for the key ring, but who is allowing me the space and time to find the next door.

This sounds familiar...

I peaked down the rabbit hole and fell in. One thing I can add is, trapped or not, this has been a very liberating experience for me.

I like Macey's take on it. Many years ago I might have felt it to be more of a trap but as I got older and more self accepting I feel my crossdressing allows me to experience things that most people won't (or won't allow themselves to).

I think we all have had trepidations about this. I began, as many, trying on my mothers clothes. I never dressed fully until my 50's; and a whole new dimension opened for me. After two purges I realized that this is an integral part of my makeup (no pun intended).

Not just "not an illness in need of a cure", but _normal_. A certain percentage of the population is somewhere on the TG spectrum. It just is. Let's keep that in mind when thinking about how we try to explain, or excuse, or cure.

Glenda, I told my wife when we were dating that I CD, that it was not going to stop and I was not going to change. She doesn't fully understand, but she does accept.

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Originally Posted by Angela1954

I think we all have had trepidations about this. I began, as many, trying on my mothers clothes. I never dressed fully until my 50's; and a whole new dimension opened for me. After two purges I realized that this is an integral part of my makeup (no pun intended).

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I started trying on my late step mother's clothes in the attic during daily latchkey time at around 13 which would have been around 1964. My experience is similar in that I never dressed fully until I was in my 50's either. The past few weeks I have been obsessed with learning and doing more and spending probably a bit too much time going through the post archives of this forum. Attempts to escape are futile and it's got a firm hold on me right now. Anyways, this is a great post and in my case is reassuring that mine is not an unusual experience but is in fact rather common.

Sorry but I kinda absolutely disagree with the entire premise of your post. Your post is built on the idea that crossdressing makes you become something you weren’t before, when in reality for most of us, it’s opening ourselves up to what we have been all along. It’s not a trap. That’s just you fighting your own nature. It’s not a maze you can’t get out of. It’s a guiding light to your true self. You’re only getting lost because you think it’s a warning instead of a beacon.

Like a few others said, i started about age 13, sneaking into my mom and sisters things.and did not completely dress with wig, dress, heels, makeup, and bra and hose and panty girdle until in my 50's. Single all my life, starved for female touch.

Calling this a trap indicates that one feels somewhat helpless and has a need to escape it.
I'm not trapped and have never been.
I choose to be here just as I choose everything else in my life. No one and nothing has captured me.

Every road you go down will have associated regrets about the roads you didn't go down. Every decision is a trap in that way. So when you come to a fork in the road, take it. (apologies to Yogi)

I agree, there’s no way out. Thank goodness for that! Even if there were a way out, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t even bother to look for it.

To me, admitting and accepting that your a CD, is the way to free yourself from that Trap. I started back when I was 13. Tried on my aunts dresses, panty hose and heels and that was it for me. Thankfully my wife has been open to all of it. Like some others say. Even if there was a way out, I don't care to look for it. I'm right with them.

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Originally Posted by Kaylin

To me, admitting and accepting that your a CD, is the way to free yourself from that Trap. I started back when I was 13. Tried on my aunts dresses, panty hose and heels and that was it for me. Thankfully my wife has been open to all of it. Like some others say. Even if there was a way out, I don't care to look for it. I'm right with them.

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It helps to accept that about ourselves but everyone has their own unique circumstances so there is no one size fits all as far as how we plot our course. I hope you have your coat and boots handy with this frigid early winter we have been having. I saw photos from Gooseberry and most of the falls are frozen so it's obviously colder up north if you're still up there. I am retired and doing a lot of hibernating these past couple days.

Glenda, the one door after another part of your story definitely resonates with me.

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Originally Posted by Star01

It helps to accept that about ourselves but everyone has their own unique circumstances so there is no one size fits all as far as how we plot our course. I hope you have your coat and boots handy with this frigid early winter we have been having. I saw photos from Gooseberry and most of the falls are frozen so it's obviously colder up north if you're still up there. I am retired and doing a lot of hibernating these past couple days.

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Most definitely on the acceptance. Not sure if you were talking to me lol but yeah it's super cold lately up north here. Them lake superior winds are killing me. It gets pretty brutal outhere. I am still in Duluth, MN. A few more months and I'm out. Yes alot of boots, and leg warmers. And big jackets.

Glenda -

I began to explore and I opened the door and walked through. Up until I accepted myself I probably thought in a similar way. Why? Was there a way back? But once I came to acceptance I realized what a remarkable gift I have. I want to continue to evolve and grow so I continue to explore and I am a better human for it.

This is not a trap but once in you can't go back. Just accept it go forward to the next door and enjoy it. It may take years and years but this is what we all like to do. Some may even go all the way to living full time as a women. But each door is a new and wonderful experience.

hello Glenda,
your post does seem familiar - but I wish it was not so!
Opening the door could be an opportunity, it is only a trap if we choose to close it behind us.
I hope it will not be a trap for future crossdressers and that they will be free to express their personality through the choice of clothes without being judged.
luv J

It's not 'a trap'. It's a choice. We can stop crossdressing; the problem becomes, what happens to us when we do? For me, I get short tempered, anxious, depressed, my memory suffers, and I have trouble concentrating on other things in my life when I go too long without crossdressing, essentially, it's exhausting pretending that I'm just a normal guy. It's an act. It's a role that I play. And if I have to do it every waking moment of every day, it takes it's toll on me.

Well written glenda, sounds familiar.

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Originally Posted by Micki_Finn

Sorry but I kinda absolutely disagree with the entire premise of your post. Your post is built on the idea that crossdressing makes you become something you weren?t before, when in reality for most of us, it?s opening ourselves up to what we have been all along. It?s not a trap. That?s just you fighting your own nature. It?s not a maze you can?t get out of. It?s a guiding light to your true self. You?re only getting lost because you think it?s a warning instead of a beacon.

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I think you totally missed the point of Glenda's post. You zeroed in on one word, "trap." She is doing nothing more than recounting those little events/steps in her life which pulled her to her destiny.

Glenda,
I put it differently , " We evolve !" You could say we also emerge from those simple beginnings and possibly from the closet , my CDing didn't start in that way but I can relate to the rest of the story .

The question is at what point do we come out and tell the truth , at the early stage some expect the panty wearing to stop maybe marriage might be the cure !

This is why I needed to know what drives this need as it evolves it does become scarier not knowing where it will end , not knowing if transitioin is the final solution .

I admit it's cost me my marriage but I'm much happier because it's allowed me to find a balance , we can spend a great part of our lives being what other people want us to be , my wife called me selfish but that raises the question of who is actually being selfish ? My wife because she still wants who she married right or wrong or me finally discovering what really make me tick .

I took the reference to "trap" as a metaphor much like the King Elvis Presley sang about in regard to love. "We're caught in a trap, I can't walk out, because I love you too much baby". Substitute pink fog and I can see the similarities. :)