Where to change?

Hey everyone! It has been a looong time since I've been on here (good to see some familiar names), and an even longer time since I've posted anything. It's also been a long time since I've been able to spend any time enfemme, and I've really been missing it lately. My home situation is not such that I can openly dress, but I'm not in a DADT relationship with my spouse. I've been brainstorming some ideas of ways I can dress fully (not just underclothes), and wanted to see what y'all think:

1) VACATION!!! It has been a dream of mine to spend a week on vacation in a city far away from home, e.g. Vegas or San Francisco and spend the entire time dressed, potentially for a conference, too! However, that does include time off of work, family wanting to see pics of my trip, money for the vacation, etc., all of which are manageable

2) STAYCATION! I've considered getting a room in a cheaper motel closer to the nearest "big" city (about 25 miles from home) for overnight, then dressing and going out. However, again money, and excusing my absence from home, again manageable.

3) Parking lot? Here's one I've been giving lots of thought to. Put on what I can, wear guy clothes over top, put everything else in a bag, drive to a secluded parking lot, change, have a day, change, go home. I could put up a blanket over the front seats of my truck (think blanket fort) and have relative privacy with the tinted windows. However, I'm concerned about the person I don't see when changing. Will they consider it indecent exposure for me to change in my backseat and call law enforcement?

Of course, the big however here is in fact my truck. Ordinarily, that wouldn't be a problem, but there's a bit of a dichotomy between how I like to dress (usually very feminine) and the lifted diesel truck that screams d-bag redneck that I drive.

Alice,

As you say, there are many choices. I'm in a modified DADT, more open than before and have the freedom to dress at home, but even now, if I'm in a rush from work to a dinner out, I might take advantage of the old dashboard vanity (also a truck). Now what you can do is change some of you underdressing and padding in a public bathroom, under slacks and shirt. Then add a skirt in the truck and drop the pants. Change the shirt for a blouse is ok if you are discreet. Makeup is no problem. And you can shave at the public restroom just fine.

Lots of ideas and you don't have to risk indecent exposure.

PS, I Love being the cute blonde with the red truck, but it's not a hoss. Just a little ole frontier ;)

I have changed in my car many times in the past when my son was living with me. Full time now, so need to hide it anymore. I would do everything I could at home. Sometimes, even putting on a dress or skirt and top. Then I would put on a very loose pair of Dockers dark blue pants and a very loose wrinkle free shirt, back when loose fitting was ok for a male, maybe my foundation makeup, then put everything in the car and drive to that local train station which had some big parking lots. First thing I would do was to take off the male over clothes and finish up dressing, if something was left to do. I would put down my shades and put my wig on when I thought that no one was walking back to their car. Once the wig was on, I felt that I was home free. Since I have seen many women touch up their makeup in their cars before. I was just another woman putting on some blush, eye brow darkening and shaping and lipstick. You could even do the eyeshadow stuff at home and then leave with sunglasses on, of course, depending on the situation. When done, I would head into the city for fun.

Coming home, I would reverse the process, normally on a wide street in front of some apartments with some cars parked in the street. I would duck down if a car came by. Remember, do not leave your foot on the brake pedal because your back lights will shine brightly! I would use one Ponds or Neutrogena makeup remover towelette and then go home. I always kept my eyes open for anyone walking by. Good luck.

If getting a room is out the question.
Like a few have said put on what you can at home. I?ve put skirts and dresses on then sweat pants overtop, bra then sweatshirt. I would put shoes, wig makeup in a bag and leave the house. In the car drop sweats, change shoes, put makeup on and wig and enjoy myself.
My windows are tinted so it gives a little extra privacy though

It is fun to travel to a different city for girl time. I've been to Chicago twice, Cleveland twice (to compete in triathlons), San Francisco, and other overnights in Central Illinois. As you note, it takes money (my wife also knows I dress).

I also make trips out locally that I hide from my wife. I've gotten creative. Usually I can dress at home and then "clean up" in the car (I don't worry about blankets, I just change, sometimes in parking garages at malls where there is less light for others to see).

Yesterday I went out dressed and put my boy clothes in a Nordstrom shopping bag. My local Nordstrom has two unisex restrooms (with a lock), so I carried the bag into the restroom, changed into my boy clothes, and put my girl clothes into the shopping bag.

I'm also a Y member. I'm a regular at one Y, but there are two others I can access. About a month ago I went to one of the Y's I don't visit often, swam a bit, and then used the family locker rooms to get dressed. Yes, I walked in as a boy and out as a girl. I will likely do this again. You can stow your girl clothes in your gym b ag on the way in, and the boy clothes on the way out.

If there's a will, there's a way.

I’m going to make the inference from your post that you rarely dress and probably even more rarely go out. First, don’t ever change in the car. I mean if throwing in women’s clothes will satisfy you, then fine. But if you want to be a proper woman, you’re going to wrinkle your outfit, and it’s going to be terrible lighting to put on your makeup.

Second, considering my assumptions about the rarity of your outings, I’d recommend the second option. It’s less of an investment and commitment if you chicken out on dressing or the chosen location or event doesn’t turn out to be your cup of tea.

Alice,

I understand your dilemma. It particularly resonates with me as I'll be undertaking your first option of a week away next week. It's something I've done now for a good few years.

I do it on the pretext that I'm doing a bit of walking in them there hills, a bit of me time. I rent a house/cottage somewhere quiet where I can come and go pretty well unobserved.

It's been a huge enabler for me. Early days I still didn't have the confidence to mix with the muggles, finding quiet places to take strolls. Over a couple of years confidence grew until I made what turned out to be a momentous decision, namely to attend a CD social group in the area I was staying in.

I've written this many times. It was at the meeting I got chatting to someone who, and I feel a little unkind each time I write this, just couldn't come close to passing. She however told me she was off shopping enfemme the next morning. I know I don't pass but I also knew I came a lot closer than she did and at that moment I decided that if she could go out and about then I sure as hell could. The next day I when shopping enfemme for the first time and the rest is history as they say. I owe so much to that chance encounter!

I appreciate the problems taking time way for home can bring. That said it will give you so much more freedom to develop your dressing.

My top tip is do your research and planning. Pick where you go with care. Google maps and street view enable you to see the area your heading to. Being armed with that sort of information helps you feel more in control.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Well I live on my own in a rural area. I put on my outfit, make up except lipstick, then pull on baggy trousers and a baggy jacket or top over this so my boobs don't show and leave the house with a bag containing my shoes, wig, glasses and handbag. I find a quiet spot then remove the trousers, put on the wig, add lipstick and earrings, remove the jacket and I am there. Reverse the process on the way back. I do this in my car. I used to do it a couple of times a month but it is now down to once every three months or so. I have met people I know when dressed (and my met I mean got introduced to, with a peck on the cheek) and got away with it but the risk is getting too high to justify. It is not that I would lose my job or anything - it is that it would come to define me and there is a bit more to the reason I get up in the morning than what clothes I wear. I have done the holidays away as Susan for up to four nights but no longer see the attraction. As after years of trying I have finally succeeded in cutting down on the shopping for clothes my main reason for going out dressed now would be to meet a GG friend for coffee, but most times I meet her I am dressed as a man. She told me she has not thought about which version she prefers! This could be because I don't do the personality change thing - I am me with different clothes, body language and voice.

Alice
You might want to reach out to your local LGBT support groups, Gay Alliance etc.
Quite often there is ample space and a welcome environment where you might be able to change in one of their facilities
I cant speak for your area but odds are pretty good from my experience
You may even make some new friends or find a calling as a volunteer
Have fun!
Cath

My wife is understanding about my dressing. However a few times when I was going out there were neighbors around. One of her requests is that I maintain a level of discretion in our neighborhood. So I simply dressed up as much as I could, put some baggy clothes over them and headed to a mall parking lot. I found a spot in the far end and applied my makeup. Not a perfect solution but it worked. As an aside the makeup came out ok also.

DLV is coming up is the spring. It is a week in Vegas.

I would highly recommend that you attend. You will meet so many people and there are a number that are from Utah.

You can stay in a cheep motel and don't have to spend a lot of money.

I have been twice, both were tips I'll never forget.


Diva Las Vegas is a week along vacation. You pick from the list of things to do or just do your own thing. It looks like it will be starting Sunday, March 29, 2020. They are still working on the events schedule, I'm on the email list but haven't been keeping up.

Sometimes, I take several outfits to a local park and change in the car. I snap a few pictures using a remote control with my phone attached to a tripod. Then it is back in the car to change and repeat. The natural lighting, various backgrounds and variable winds make for more realistic pictures than in my home and allow for easier decisions with clothing presentation. While it is a public venue, it can (and should) be done with discretion. I have even mastered the art of changing while driving. But, I highly recommend NOT doing that.

How about putting your things in a sports bag, go to the swimming pool, go in a boy, have a swim, come out a girl. And you can get some exercise thrown in as an added benefit.
I've tried getting changed in the car, but found it uncomfortable and made me feel like I was being furtive and secretive.

Thank you all for your input! I'll have to see if the local pool has a unisex locker room. I know they have ADA compliant, but am unsure about the other. I would totally go to DLV in March, if it were two weeks earlier! That's when my spring break is (I'll be attending a university next year). That is an event I want to go to eventually though. And Micki Finn, you are absolutely right. A year ago, I was able to dress weekly and would try to go out for a drive frequently, but then a situation arose (financially for me, health for them) and I had to move in with family. Since then, I haven't been able to dress at all. I'll also look up LGBT resources. Might as well take advantage if it's there!

Thank you all, again!

I have often changed away from home. Sometimes I change in a public restroom at a travel stop or similar place then do my makeup in my car. I have also thought about changing at my gym (a no judgement one) using the locker room. Like a previous poster said, in as a guy, out in femme.

A good place to change is in the bathroom of a college's drama department. They’re usually clean, well lit and open early. And you won’t be out of place wearing “unconventional” clothing.

Do be mindful and aware of the ubiquitous security camera’s— they are EVERYWHERE these days.

Rhonda is right. Cams are everywhere. I have 8 myself and the one reading license plates looks like a potted plant. Very hidden.

Personally I don?t like using the car. You have to keep it running most of the time to keep from getting too hot or cold, and I could never do my makeup in there. I need more space.

Sandi

Cameras are everywhere. Correct. So if you're going to worry about being on camera, I suggest you don't leave your home. Ever. Otherwise, carry on. Changing in your car is cramped at first but you will get the hang of it quite quickly. I did that for a long time. One thing you realize, which I cannot stress enough, is that people tend to be oblivious to their surroundings. When was the last time you walked through a parking lot or down a sidewalk and consciously looked inside every car you passed by? Unless it's night time and you have the interior lights on, most people are too self-absorbed to notice. That said, I would recommend not parking in isolated areas where your sole car is more likely to draw attention. Park in a packed parking lot where anyone who walks by is in their own mental bubble. Basically, hide in plain sight. The other thing is that you could feel more comfortable changing in the back seat as there is less chance of making eye contact with someone. No one aside from a thief is looking in a random car's back windows. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Patience

A good place to change is in the bathroom of a college's drama department. They?re usually clean, well lit and open early. And you won?t be out of place wearing ?unconventional? clothing.

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Brilliant.

Have I ever denied it? :yt:

:D

Alice, besides DLV with 150 T girls in March, there's WildSide. A 200+ T girl event in Vegas the middle of May!:battingeyelashes:

Also, in a pinch in a quiet late afternoon in LA, I stopped for early dinner in a fast food store. Afterwards, in male mode I brought a large duffel bag into the Ladies Room when no one was looking and took over the handicap stall for a 1/2 hour+. I laid down a sheet on the floor and did a complete change from male to female. In my case that meant: girdles, pads, forms, prosthesis, complete outfit, the whole nine yards! I heard many other women come and go, but no one said a word. In the rest room or when I came out.:thumbsup:

Not my favorite place to change. But, no way could I do that in parking lot in my mid size SUV!:eek:

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Also, in a pinch in a quiet late afternoon in LA, I stopped for early dinner in a fast food store. Afterwards, in male mode I brought a large duffel bag into the Ladies Room when no one was looking and took over the handicap stall for a 1/2 hour+.

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God bless you, honey. Spending a half hour in a fast food bathroom stall would get you thrown out or arrested in many cities. Bathrooms are tough.

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Originally Posted by Alice 23

Hey everyone! It has been a looong time since I've been on here (good to see some familiar names), and an even longer time since I've posted anything. It's also been a long time since I've been able to spend any time enfemme, and I've really been missing it lately. My home situation is not such that I can openly dress, but I'm not in a DADT relationship with my spouse. I've been brainstorming some ideas of ways I can dress fully (not just underclothes), and wanted to see what y'all think:

1) VACATION!!! It has been a dream of mine to spend a week on vacation in a city far away from home, e.g. Vegas or San Francisco and spend the entire time dressed, potentially for a conference, too! However, that does include time off of work, family wanting to see pics of my trip, money for the vacation, etc., all of which are manageable

2) STAYCATION! I've considered getting a room in a cheaper motel closer to the nearest "big" city (about 25 miles from home) for overnight, then dressing and going out. However, again money, and excusing my absence from home, again manageable.

3) Parking lot? Here's one I've been giving lots of thought to. Put on what I can, wear guy clothes over top, put everything else in a bag, drive to a secluded parking lot, change, have a day, change, go home. I could put up a blanket over the front seats of my truck (think blanket fort) and have relative privacy with the tinted windows. However, I'm concerned about the person I don't see when changing. Will they consider it indecent exposure for me to change in my backseat and call law enforcement?

Of course, the big however here is in fact my truck. Ordinarily, that wouldn't be a problem, but there's a bit of a dichotomy between how I like to dress (usually very feminine) and the lifted diesel truck that screams d-bag redneck that I drive.

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As a discreet dresser who has been in relationships with women that I’ve lived with and kept it a secret, I can identify. The easiest will be if one of you leaves town for a day or two. If you staycation is going to obviously be cheaper than a vacation. But either way, you’re going to be able to do anything you like. Taking some scenery pics is all you’d need. Getting hotels and booking vacations simply to have dressing time is costly, but I think most of us on here have done it at some point out of necessity. Plus when you don’t live alone, having all of your femme wardrobe, shoes, boots, completely laid out and in the open in a nice hotel room is a very satisfying feeling.

I can tell you that the car is probably the cheapest bet but it won’t be the most rewarding or satisfying. Despite your best efforts, you'll look disheveled... clothes will be wrinkled, seams not straight, breast forms crooked, Most likely a run or two in your thigh highs, wig will look crooked and messy, your makeup will look like you did it... quite frankly ...in the cab of a truck.. you’ll just looks rushed and out of sorts because you’ll be doing it with the distraction of trying not to get spotted. but if that’s your only option, then you just have to make do.
If you drive around and scout out some areas beforehand, you can find lots of places that you can change fairly quickly and easily without drawing any attention to yourself. Obviously, not in the middle of Target parking lot during Black Friday, but there are places like parks, parking garages, open spaces, rest stops, closed business parking areas, etc... as someone who has changed in my car countless times, I can tell you that Once you get over the initial fear of doing it a few times, you’ll find that most people are not paying as much attention to you or your car as you think they are. It’s mainly just nerves. Plus, if you underdress as much as possible first, it will be a cinch slip on the dress, blouse, skirt, wig, etc.., and do your makeup, final touches in the cab quickly...

Adding to that, I’ve owned lots of cars in all types. So I’ve changed in SUVs, trucks, vans, and even small BMW sports car with hardly any room.. it’s cramped, but doable. The best actually when I owned that little bmw. I still wanted to enjoy hiking, camping, fishing, skiing/snowboarding Colorado, but I couldn’t do it in a little sports car. So, I bought an old, High mileage conversion van for 1500 bucks to use for my outdoor activities. It just also happened to be a dream to do a wardrobe change. Plenty of room... lots of space... lots of privacy... i could do a full wardrobe change without feeling cramped or twisting myself into a pretzel. I could also turn on the interior lights and do hair, makeup, etc... I could do everything with virtually no hassle and no prying eyes anywhere I liked! I even left many of m6 favorite outfits in the car so I could change whenever the opportunity arose.

If you have a big lifted truck it’ll be a little cramped, but you can do it. You could get a camper shell for changing extra space, but that’s a fair amount of money to spend and you’d still have to get out of the truck, lift the lid, lower the tailgate and crawl inside , and close it all back up again just to change. It could work, but I think I’d feel more comfortable knowing that if someone did come by, I would still be IN the car and able to quickly startup and drive away if I needed to.

Monica, if you played Santa in boy form, would you then be 'Santa Monica' as a girl? (sorry, couldn't resist)

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Alice, as Doc Sherry mentioned DLV (Diva Las Vegas), here's the website: https://divalas.vegas/

Change in a Starbucks restroom. For a long time before I came out at work I had to take a 90 minute drive to visit clients in jail. So I would drive up and see the client in boy mode, then stop at Starbucks near the jail, walk in the restroom as a guy, then walk out and drive home as a girl. Never had a problem.

There are quite many options to change your dressing and appearance.

I tell you what I do:

usually when travelling for business and combining it with dressing, I dress in my car and also do my make-up in my car - that works fine.

If staying in a hotel by myself, I check in dressed and check out dressed, whenever I leave the hotel en femme, there has never been a problem.


These are the two options I use.

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Originally Posted by Alice 23

Hey everyone! It has been a looong time since I've been on here (good to see some familiar names), and an even longer time since I've posted anything. It's also been a long time since I've been able to spend any time enfemme, and I've really been missing it lately. My home situation is not such that I can openly dress, but I'm not in a DADT relationship with my spouse. I've been brainstorming some ideas of ways I can dress fully (not just underclothes), and wanted to see what y'all think:

1) VACATION!!! It has been a dream of mine to spend a week on vacation in a city far away from home, e.g. Vegas or San Francisco and spend the entire time dressed, potentially for a conference, too! However, that does include time off of work, family wanting to see pics of my trip, money for the vacation, etc., all of which are manageable

2) STAYCATION! I've considered getting a room in a cheaper motel closer to the nearest "big" city (about 25 miles from home) for overnight, then dressing and going out. However, again money, and excusing my absence from home, again manageable.

3) Parking lot? Here's one I've been giving lots of thought to. Put on what I can, wear guy clothes over top, put everything else in a bag, drive to a secluded parking lot, change, have a day, change, go home. I could put up a blanket over the front seats of my truck (think blanket fort) and have relative privacy with the tinted windows. However, I'm concerned about the person I don't see when changing. Will they consider it indecent exposure for me to change in my backseat and call law enforcement?

Of course, the big however here is in fact my truck. Ordinarily, that wouldn't be a problem, but there's a bit of a dichotomy between how I like to dress (usually very feminine) and the lifted diesel truck that screams d-bag redneck that I drive.

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I too drive a diesel "Bubba" truck.... But where I live it is not at all uncommon for women to drive trucks of all sizes as their daily driver. So, I decided to just embrace it and be like one of the gals.

I do like it though when I have an opportunity to drive my wife's smaller car. It does give me a sense of blending in to the crowd a little more, plus I don't have to step up on the running board in high heels to get in! LOL

Molly

I dress in the car every now and then. Lately I've been applying my eye makeup at home, then putting on a pair of sunglasses when I leave the house. Eye makeup takes the longest for me so it's good to get that out of the way.

I have a couple of skirts that don't wrinkle so I wear one under jogging pants before leaving the house. So when I sit in the car and take off the jogging pants I'm still covered up with the skirt. And of course nylons, bra etc. are also underneath. Some type of top can be under your man's shirt too. I don't worry too much about wrinkling anyway since I won't stay underdressed for very long.

Once in the car I do the rest at a park or parking lot: Finish makeup, put forms in bra, wig & jewelry. I may stop somewhere else and apply nail polish, change shoes, whatever.

Of course it's better to have a room with a full length mirror but changing in a vehicle can work out pretty good. Bring a mirror with you - magnifying ones can help a lot. Once you're in girl mode you can put on a dress and check your look in a women's bathroom if desired.

I?m all about the staycation. Just about every time I go out, I get a hotel room in town. I understand the necessity of dressing in the car, but I don?t ever see myself doing it. I like to take my time with makeup, which is usually an hour+ process. Hotel folks are super accepting and totally know why I?m there, if I?m a repeat customer and I often check in in boy mode, but with pretty nails, which they will usually complement me on. Usually, I?ll try to get an early checkin, get my Julie on, hopefully have some time for a little shopping before dinner with some friends and then to some sort of show - maybe live music or theater. At the end of the night, I?ll deconstruct and head home. My wife knows that I?m having a Julie night, but the kids think I was just working late or out drinking with friends (which is actually the truth).

You might also think about an AirBnB to cut costs. Many are where you rent the entire place, so you will have complete privacy. I?ve done both, but in either case I always tell the owner that I have an ?alt ego, Julie? and will be using there place mostly for changing and will not be staying the night. Most people are totally fine with it - they see all kinds of people and are mostly interested in renting to people who are not jerks. There have been a few cases where my request was denied without explanation, which I figure was for the best - if they were gonna be uncomfortable with Julie, I?d rather not be staying with them. But, those are the exception. Mostly, owners are totally accepting and go out of their way to make sure I?m comfortable. One time I asked if he had a full length mirror and he ended up buying one before I arrived - what a sweetheart.

Hope this helps.

Interesting to learn that some AirBnB owners are reluctant to rent to Julie. Do they think that crossdressers and TGs carry an infectious disease that will contaminate their property?

Good grief.

Hi Alice :hugs: , It sounds like you are putting yourself between a Rock and a Hard Place. >Orchid .oo:daydreaming:oo.

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Originally Posted by LydiaL

Interesting to learn that some AirBnB owners are reluctant to rent to Julie.
Good grief.

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When that happens just change in their parking lot :heehee:

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Originally Posted by LydiaL

Interesting to learn that some AirBnB owners are reluctant to rent to Julie. Do they think that crossdressers and TGs carry an infectious disease that will contaminate their property?

Good grief.

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I?m actually surprised that so few have declined, it?s only been maybe 2 out of a dozen. The acceptance of those that did accept the request far makes up for the minor setback. I?m not trying to push myself on anyone. Much more interesting in finding good people and giving them my business. I forgot to add to the original comment that in both cases, hotel or AirBnB, I register with my boy name because both require a valid id.