Trigger Points

I frequently think about what makes me want to dress.
I often go months even a year or so without it even being an issue or a desire than all of a sudden it becomes a necessitate. A requirement that I must address before I can even set forth in my standard drab life. I finally succumb to my deep setted emotions and dress to portray the beautiful sexy women I always admired and loved. Afterwards I feel like I have achieved my goal, I can then finally go about my life.
For me I find that stress in my normal day to day to be my #1 trigger and the second is reminders of bad moments of my childhood 1 &2 are likely related.
I have many others but lets hear yours.

My trigger is waking up. I don't always succumb but, so far, I always wake up.

This site and many other things....That's the "G" rated version...

I crossdress because I feel like myself and I feel attractive for once. There are rare moments when I'm feeling gross and stay in man mode lol minus a dress or skirt, I look like a female 247

The psychologists have studied this pretty extensively and have found that stress and memories are major triggers. But most anything can be a trigger. It all depends on your experiences, you total gender identity, and how you associate clothing with the expression of your identity. Stress is a big factor for me as well and when that goes high I go all the way with the expression. It relieves it. Not exactly an escape mechanism, but it has a touch of that flavor. Otherwise, I do a blended presentation with somewhat unisex clothes that tend to be weighted a bit toward the feminine. That is my non-stressed presentation on many days. Not glaringly obvious but apparent if one looks a bit closer than the casual glance will create. I do it for me and don't give a whole of attention to what others might think about it. I occasionally get the funny look, but most either don't notice or don't care. Which is great, because I don't care either. Not sloppy, not fashionable, but my favorite descriptive word - presentable.

Stress is something that makes me want to dress more, but these days I find I just want to dress because I like it, I enjoy it and I feel like me, dressing helps with the stress rather than the stress helping with my dressing, I never go a day without wanting to dress and in fact wear panties every day now and for a long time

When I began dressing the feelings of guilt, and the resultant stress, were definitely a trigger point. However over the past year I have become more comfortable and accepting of my feminine side and all that entails. So I would say the triggers are much reduced, if not gone, and my dressing is an expression of who I am rather than a response to a particular situation.

In the earlier years, I sometimes dressed for stress relief. Once reconciled however, I now dress because I flatly enjoy the soft feelings and comfort of women?s clothes...from top to bottom. I started with hose of all kinds and they?re still #1. I find I often run my hand up and down my legs and love the sounds when walking. I never tire of the comfort feelings of slipping on hose. I wear panties daily. Much to my wife?s disbelief, I find comfort, in addition to hose, makeup, wearing shapers, underwire bras, slips, heels, girdles, etc. I also enjoy planning what to wear, laying everything out, etc. It continues to be so satisfyingly comfortable.

I think stress is one of my biggest triggers. I love to dress up and be someone else for a bit. I have kind of created this other persona that is Victoria and I enjoy being someone other then me. I have a huge dysforia about my life. So dressing is almost therapeutic for me. In fact with all the stress and massive changes in my life it has pushed me to be more out going. I am even looking to go out dressed to the local DRAG show and start performing. I?m a bass player :)

Once you get into cd'ing you're in , you don't need a trigger , everything else is just an excuse

Rhonda, well stated.

Hi Tina,

Welcome to our little community.

Funny, my wife and I were just talking about this. I don't know why I want to dress. I know it makes me feel complete. It relaxes me and I feel good about myself. I can't say for sure exactly what triggered this desire. Maybe it came from years of living in denial. Once I came to terms with this and started dressing it felt so right.

I'm with Tracy.
I don't need anything but waking up, and now I always do that in my nightgown with my bra and forms, so I've got a hair trigger.

This year I took a job at a University that has a more 'liberal' environment than my previous job. Autumn through Spring have traditionally been my peak dressing times, but this autumn, my desire to dress has been elevated, so much so that I took the plunge and have gone to brick and mortar stores to shop for myself. My work related stress levels are no where near where they were prior to this new job, so methinks its the new environment fueling this motivation. But Rhonda is right...

I usually only want to dress about half the time. Some days I want to dress from the moment I wake up and other days I?m like ?eh?.... mostly
Because if I dress I want to do make and there are days I?m just REALLY lazy and don?t feel like doing makeup.

Rhonda’s comment definitely made me chuckle and I have to agree that pretty much anything is an excuse to dress.

Having said that though, I would personally say that I have 2 main reasons that I take/make time to dress. As many have said, stress (specifically workplace) is a huge motivator for me. I absolutely love my job but it can get a bit hectic at times. When the weekend comes I get so happy to glam it up and let my inner girl out! After a hot shower, shave and some body oil, the slow transformation begins. I love taking my time here. Add some fun music, a cold drink and I love to experiment with new make up or new wig colors and hairstyles.

My second trigger is visual. I’ll see something in a fashion magazine, on tv or someone at the mall. Usually it’s a form fitting outfit or gorgeous legs and a pair of sexy heels. I’ll then start to imagine how I can recreate that look myself and there’s my excuse. :)

Mine? Like many here it's rolling out of bed. Plus, all I have to wear now are clothes from the feminine side of the shopping aisle. I'm never stressed so that's not a "why". One excuse I use is that I love women, and admire them. By wearing the same clothing I'm walking a mile in their shoes, (figuratively and literally). It's my way of showing respect and solidarity.

@ GretchenM

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Otherwise, I do a blended presentation with somewhat unisex clothes that tend to be weighted a bit toward the feminine. That is my non-stressed presentation on many days. Not glaringly obvious but apparent if one looks a bit closer than the casual glance will create. I do it for me and don't give a whole of attention to what others might think about it. I occasionally get the funny look, but most either don't notice or don't care. Which is great, because I don't care either. Not sloppy, not fashionable, but my favorite descriptive word - presentable.

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That's me, as well. Sort of a "Tomboy" look?

It is so long since I felt a need to dress up and could not do so that I can't remember. I live alone and spend most of my time in skirts and dresses - mainly dresses. I too wake up, remove my nightdress and put on a bra and pants, tights and a dress, always with earrings, bangles and necklace or pendant, and heels. I have not had a stitch of male clothes on since Sunday and that was just for an hour. I don't wear make up or a wig at home. I recently had ten days staying with friends and did not bring any womenswear with me (I even wore male briefs) and I did not miss it. I didn't have a spare minute and enjoyed being with my friends so much that wanting to do something else simply did not cross my mind. The only exception to this is if I have had a difficult day at work and I just want to get home, have a shower and change into a dress. I don't think seeing beautifully dressed women in the office changes this. So I don't seem to have triggers any more other than fatigue - I just do it. Because I can. If I am at home and on my own this is simply what I wear now. I do not identify as female even if totally dressed - it is just that I prefer to be dressed like this.

I’m the same as you, Tina. But for me, the stress sets in after four or five hours in drab.

I also used to be able to go months or even years without even thinking of dressing, back then stress and other situataions did impact when and if I felt the need to dress. In the last 5 years or so it's settled into pretty much every aspect of my life, although I don't get to dress as much as I would like too.

My trigger is the girl in my heart and head. I live alone and am retired. I completely dress (no wig and just lipstick) as soon as I wake up. It's a necessity for my femme self.

Like many others, stress is a definite trigger. Probably some psychological disconnect function here if I really analyze. But another one for me is actually helpful for working. I write for part of my living, which I do from home, which I can do dressed. Sometimes it helps me focus; gets me into the mode of doing just that. Puts me in a place to be more productive writing. Who knew crossdressing could be a productivity generator!

I think that things mount up in my sub-conscience that if I go a long period of time it will just hit me all at once. I haven't dressed fully for probably 5 months and I'm feeling it heavily now (the Pink Fog). I do underdress to kind of soften the overwhelming need and that helps. Once I find myself taking bigger risks I know it's time to put plans into effect to get out as Joyce completely. Maybe someday it will all even out. Who knows?

I also agree on the stress factor. other things include, I just have an urge(because that's who we are), as already stated to see an attractive woman in a nice outfit as well. it's weird because i'll go month's, and I don't think about it a whole lot. then there will come a time and it's like an itch you can't scratch and the only cure is to dress. once I do all is good in the universe again!

Star01 said:
Today 08:59 AM
Breathing seems to be my trigger point. When I stop doing that I will be at peace. The past few months I have been consumed by my desire to feminize as much as possible. For example, the obsession to shave my entire body, groom my eyebrows, underdress and stare at myself in the mirror thinking of what else I can do is overwhelming. I want to wear jewelry, earrings and makeup but I haven't worn earrings in public since I cut off my long hair due to thinning on top but plan on starting again with some subtle ones. The highlight of today will be taking a hot soaking bath and shaving myself smooth as silk and doing my nails.

My hands are smaller than those of the average woman and my body hair is light enough that I can shave a couple times a week and maintain my smoothness as well as any TV woman I read about how some who have hairy chests and backs and their struggles but I only have two hairs on my chest that are so light I can't see them even when they get too long. I'm 5'6" and 1/2" with men's 7.5 size feet which blend in well en femme and have very smooth skin and moobs that are a couple inches larger than my chest measurement to the point where my wife once thought I was on HRT behind her back. Weight gain is being taken care of by cutting back in eating and doing situps when I'm watching TV and feel hungry.

As far as the clothes go, those aren't much good if I don't groom myself properly. I am working on obtaining a more age appropriate wardrobe but at this point the woman inside is first priority and the dressing will follow. Or to put it another way, I am a take off the bra and free the girls person and not so focussed on the clothes. They're important but the girl inside is the reason I dress and if I ignore her she gets bitchy

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I meant to type GG woman but my phone changed to TV??? Anyways, I can't access edit when using my phone so consider this post as a footnote to my last one.

For me, I dress with a mix of male and female clothes. So pretty much every day I want to wear a skirt or dress (I find them both comfortable and cute). I usually make a rough plan at the beginning of each week (such as an outfit for work, a dress for the day with the nicest weather in the forecast, etc). So if I can't wear such an outfit as planned I feel let down and want to wear it soon. Also, sometimes seeing a look that I like and want to copy it will influence the next outfit I wear (whether this look is someone I see in person or on tv or even in a book).

I feel like as time goes on, some things like wearing one piece of jewerly a day has gone to the side (for example I am not wearing any jewelry right now). I feel like it is almost an anti trigger point, that I don't need everything so often.

Never stress. Only driven to dress by the pull of opportunity. If my wife is away, then I can play. Otherwise, never, despite an omnipresent pull to do so.

I'm the same, Mary. Unless I know I've got a clear opportunity to dress up, I don't think about it too much. Only when the opportunity presents itself then the excitement and adrenaline kicks in.

Thank you everyone who responded to this thread I find it so very helpful to hear the many different experiences and perspectives. Especially from so many people in different places along their journey.

I agree that opportunity is generally my trigger. Should the desire be there and I know I've time completely to myself, then away I go. Odd times, I feel an intense desire and I find I have to make time to dress, but it's always a preasent sensation to do so.

I find stress and tiredness actually suppress the deisre.

Interesing question. What triggers into CDing?

Spending to much time by myself and my mind gets away from me and then I am looking for a bra.

CDing sites, or books or entertainment, articles.

Going to clothes stores with my wife when she is looking for things to wear.

Lots of things I suppose.

Mine is definitely stress from work..dressing makes the world go away for me. Queue up the Eddy Arnold please 😋 but also opportunity...if I am alone dressing up is the first thing I think of. Strangely, if my ED won't allow me to function with my SO, I want to dress...maybe just stress there also...

Seeing women in nice clothes shoes makeup etc is a trigger for me. If a work colleague comes into my office in stilettos heavily made up and wearing a beautiful outfit I so envy her that I can?t wait to dress again as soon as possible. One particular lady wears just my sort of stuff and I often really want to be able to dress like her when I see her st the office. I wouldn?t say stress is a trigger but not dressing for a while becomes stressful and I feel better when I have been out for the day en femme. I notice what women wear whether in direct contact with them or on Television etc. I also like to read women?s magazines and the fashion pages of the newspaper which again is a trigger.

My own theory is that stress isn't the 'trigger' that makes us want to crossdress, it's that deep down inside, we always want to crossdress/feel like we are female, but we just subconsciously bury those feelings away and don't notice them (or, only rarely feel the desire as brief and fleeting). But at some point, when under stress, it becomes too much for our subconscious minds to handle, the desire to crossdress becomes too much to suppress, those thoughts come to the forefront of our conscious minds, and it overwhelms us and interferes with our desire to concentrate on the other problems we are facing. For me, that means if I don't 'give in' to the need to let it go and crossdress, I become absent minded, irritable, short tempered, and have trouble concentrating. All that goes away as soon as I acquiesce and dress as I feel I must.

I have found it is a time of year thing. Not sure if its because during the summer months I seem to have so much more on my plate, that even though I think about dressing, I just dont have the time so the feelings get subjugated. Then winter months come along, things slow down and then I get the very strong urge to dress.

Stress only makes the blood pressure go up, I don't get stressed with dressing on those very rare days of having to be in drab I feel very uncomfortable only settled when i am dressed again

Tina, You said it pretty much for me. I am 65, never had a wife, and i dress up occasionally as the tall leggy lady, of my dreams, or like tall leggy women I wanted, but was rejected by, or married ones i have known. I had a business, where i woked in peoples' homes, and so many married women customers, were tall and gorgeous, and it hurt to be the lonesome blue collar service guy. I never touched them of course, but when dressed, resembled some of them. I then return to guy mode for quite a long time. I know i am a guy, and need to stay a guy, in spite of the pull. Life is about compromises, and we can't have everything we want, and conflict is part of the fickle human condition. Sometimes Miss, i agree with what you wrote too. A deep part of the brain needs to be satisfied with occasionally letting Alice out of the box!

stress will trigger me to dress more, but i was dressed as a girl by my aunt when i was a kid, so the seeds were there.....

Well, I'm a transexual now but what was my trigger was to be alone. I couldn't resist any time alone without dressing. Sometimes, it could be the whole day or just a couple hours.
Later in life it wasn't just the alone moments because I wanted in any time and die seeing customers women in my work and daily life.
Today my life is full time as I meant to be and to dress is a daily routine but other elements add and give great taste on being a woman....

Devi

I'm not sure that anything in particular triggers me. I really enjoy quiet time at home, when I can get it, and just lounge around in my favorite lingerie. I particularly like my full length slips with panties and a bra. I also really like sleeping in one of my nighties with matching panties. I guess anytime that I am alone could be considered a trigger.

Okay so it looks like we have 3 leading responses to my first question of whats your trigger point.
1) I feel femme as soon as I wake up.
2)Opportunity and being alone
3) Stress of your day to day.
So lets ask a another question than if you feel this the center of your desire or need to dress fits these groups than whats the center that drives these issues?

I think stress drives me the most but this is a blanket issue that started as a child with a complicated home life. I had an older sister that dressed me up to be her little sister for (fun)femm. This was also my first introduction to a dress, pantyhose and girl life an escape from boy me. This later grew my desire and love for the feel of femm, the makeup the clothes, and the process of creating alter feminine look.

You're right that those are not the real trigger but something else but it's not stress. Stress is just another name for gender dysphoria but I noticed that many here, as I used to do, don't know that concept and think that to dress is just a release for stress, a relaxing hobbies or whatever name they want to do because masculinity is so deep rooted in their minds that to accept to be a trans is to be so weak so will keep fighting with dysphoria as Don Quijote did with the windmills...

I just can't shop in drab anymore, I would get arrested feeling the bras in the lingerie section.

Loitering in the makeup and dress sections doesn't help if dressed inappropriately. :-)