Printable View
In the near future we (wife ad I) will be moving our home to another state. Keeping my special belonging hidden during the move will be a challenge. We will be moving to a more rural location and the opportunity to restock my wardrobe from scratch will be very difficult. If the destination was in a different location there would not be as much of a problem but acquiring a new wardrobe in a small town will be hard. Has anyone else gone through this situation.
Avi
Never Purge, Rather put in a box and put into storage. That way you can always come back
at a low cost.
Rader
I no longer use the word purge, as Lauren's final post changed my mind about the word. It is such a negative sounding word. Maybe whittle down, give to charity, donate sounds better. Or letting someone else enjoy the things. Never been married, so dont know what to tell you.
The vast majority of purge posts I’ve seen seem to express regret at doing so. Maybe put your things in a box marked “garage” or some such that’d be less likely to be opened immediately?
Never Purge,
Biggest regret ever was this satin jane norman mini dress in beige, it fit so well and felt so good, one day I thought id try and give up Cding not a chance but chucked it all in the bin.
Oh to have that dress back
Simone x
I can relate to both dressing privately and living in a small town. That presents some challenges but if you purge it's going to be difficult when your first opportunity to dress comes up. Do you have some items like tools or something you can merge your things in with where nobody is likely to look. In my case I play guitar and the last place my wife would look is inside a guitar case or amplifier. You surely must have a hobby or work shop or fishing boat with a live well or somewhere like that. That would be the way to move them in secret.
My term purge might not be the correct word. If I donate my current wardrobe totally it will be difficult to rebuild. If I put in with the moving stuff there is a chance of discovery. I have some time to decide, I do feel that it would be a regret to give up my current things if I can not replace them at a later date.
Avi
Ive never had to hide my wardrobe during a move. I have made the mistake of purging a couple of times, and as noted by others, the purge was regrettable, for the expense and the futility of it. Since I presume you are not out to your wife, you have a challenge of how to manage to pack and keep those packed items separate from things your wife might eventually open. My thought would probably be to surreptitiously ship your wardrobe to a storage unit in a nearby community, at least until you can get this all figured out.
What about renting one of those closet size storage areas near your new home for a month or is it too far to make an advance trip? Aside from that if you know any other crossdressers who could hold it for you until you decide a plan. I hope you think of something or you'll be making long discrete shopping trips to the nearest bigger town next time the fog rolls in.
Have you ever purged before? If you have, then you likely know that immediate pang of regret, and "Oh, I wish I still had _____________."
Even if you change purge to "donate", get rid of", or anything else, you will likely regret doing so soon after.
I'm married in a DADT relationship. I can't imagine what I'd do if we decided to move. The best thing would be to have talk with the misses and hope that she understands. Or accepts. Or doesn't freak out.
Even though I haven't done it, I would recommend having the talk. Short of that, figure out a way to transport your items that minimizes the chances of being found out. If those options don't work, decide which items you absolutely need to keep, and donate the rest.
DON'T PURGE Glenda will be going away but I will not purge. Maybe somethings that are to small or old or I haven't worn in years. But everything is staying.
Avi,
If the risks of packing your wardrobe in with the rest of the household items is too great is it possible you could mail it to yourself for collection from the post office near where you're moving to? Alternatively is there a form of ship and store company that'll hold your stash until you can collect it locally?
Also have you considered vacuum bags, the ones where you put clothes in, zip them up and then suck out all the air with the vacuum? They significantly reduce the volume of clothing making it easier to squeeze a lot into one box.
There is a good amount of responses and it seems that purging will only lead to sadness eventually. Never purge, I think you need to find a way to ship all your nice things.
Not.
Be creative. Consider some of the suggestions offered by others here.
If you need to hide your women's clothes from your wife you can always put them at the bottom of whatever you are transporting your men`s clothing in. Getting more creative you can hide a shirt inside a shirt before folding it or put panties down a pants leg. The possibilities are endless...
Who is going to uncover your girl clothes during the move? Do movers or friends routinely open sealed boxes during a move? If the wife is unaware of your dressing then it will be hard to hiding them.
. . . that is the question 🤔. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sling the slips and eye shadows which costs an outrageous fortune, or shave arms and face a sea of trouble, and in disposing them, end them? 🧐 🎭.
- L.
The best idea seems to be arranging a storage locker/facility somewhere. Do not purge! You will only regret it later.
Wishing you much happiness in your new home. :)
Perhaps doing a pre-move trip and finding a U-Haul or similar self storage facility to put your clothing into storage for several months. The local U-Haul facility in my area has relatively small lockers as well as very large ones. You should be able to locate one near where you're moving to using the Internet. I have to assume you already have a home to move into.
Lydianne,Quote:
Originally Posted by Lydianne
Not wishing to go off post but Shakespeare rewritten for CD'ers is something I'd pay to see. Your post brought a smile to my face.
First of all, if you are hiding your dressing and your "stuff" from your wife, it's only a matter of time before you slip up or she finds it. You should find a way to tell her about it.
As for the immediate problem, it's been suggested that you rent a storage unit and put your stuff there until you are settled in in your new place. That's a good idea. It might be possible to ship it to a storage business near your new location and have them put it into storage for you. You just have to make sure your wife doesn't see any receipts or communications from the storage company.
Hiding things from your wife is difficult, stressful, and not entirely honest. The longer you do it, the more difficult it will be when the time comes.
Titus Androgynous.Quote:
Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater
MACbeth.
Romeo 2 Juliet.
Much a DADT About Dressing.
Twelfth Night En Femme.
A Midsummer Night's Cross-Dream.
:p.
- L.
This is absolutely correct, once you lose her trust it will take a long time to recover and maybe you never will regain that trust.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
Well, considering all the women’s roles were played by men originally, do we really need to change anything?Quote:
Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater
Get yourself a pair of large stereo speaker cabs with screw on backs and pack them.
That's where I kept my stash for years!
At least keep the things you know will be hard to replace.
I purged over 100 dresses last month but kept all my wigs, forms, heels, and foundation garments knowing they would be hard to replace!
This is an expensive option but it does work. If there is a UPS store somewhere nearby your new town, you could rent a mailbox, then ship the boxes using UPS to the store before you move. I have left packages that I needed to pick up for a week so you can go get them when you have a chance. Regardless, you need to get the stash out of your house before things are getting packed up; otherwise, you may get caught. UPS store is where I get everything shipped without my wife becoming aware. It has worked quite well so far - 3 years. I guess I am devious.
Sandi
Tracy Irving has a nice idea.
I held on to the shoes when I purged the one time, but only had like 3 outfits. I'd recommend keeping at least enough to make you happy to put on when you need to.
That Shakespeare piece is, though, very pertinent to TG. The daily struggle of suffering the slings and arrows of the 'outrageous misfortune'. Whether you ever think of the not-to-be as legitimate freedom, or whether it's more honourable to keep up the fight..
- L.
Every time I do this it?s instant regret the first urge I get to dress again and realize I have nothing.
I've done it twice and after the last time I vowed never again. I'm finally at peace with myself and it's a great feeling.
There is a lot of good suggestions here, but what I don?t necessarily agree with is coming clean about your dressing before a relocation. Even if your wife would accept it, with all the stress involved, she really wouldn?t want to comprehend at this time.
I?ve moved across the country, but at the time my SO was accepting so it was easy.
If you must purge, donate, throw in the trash, the internet can help you slowly replenish.
Ditto what everyone else said. No matter how you feel right now and no matter how long it takes things tend to change. It's likely you'll wish you had that stuff again.
Purging is one of those things that seldom ends well.
This is pure genius. I am going to pick up some large speakers from a thrift store just for a similar purpose. Although it will probably involve hiding a junk food stash from my kids instead....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
In 2014, I moved back to Michigan after breaking up with my ex-wife. I moved into my parents' house until I found a job. I donated 2 huge boxes of clothes to Goodwill in fears of getting found out while I was at my parents'. Later, after I found my own place, I threw away a garbage bag full of wigs since I didn't have any stuff anymore.
I miss a lot of my shoes, wigs, and a few pieces of the clothes, as well as the makeup and the box it was in. Trust me, don't purge, box it up and wrap it in strong tape to prevent prying eyes to see the contents. The clothes may go away, but the feelings never do.
Noob here but I moved a few years back before I was out to my wife. I had a large collection of only lingerie at the time. In order to move all my stuff I packed it all in sacks inside a few smaller/mid-size boxes and labeled the boxes as something for me. I was moving a large collection of collectibles and labeled my outfit boxes as part of my collection. I also added an asterisk to the box words so I knew which was which. With the labeling, the friends/family helping us knew only I waned to move/open boxes for my collection. So I was able to move those freely and to where I wanted them-opening them only after we were done moving.
Also purging- no way. I did it once in early 2000s. Lost a lot of good stuff that isn?t made anymore. Get creative, hopefully youll find a way to move it all. I still miss some things I let go.
Pick your favorite (and also your most expensive) items and mail them to yourself in a nondescript box or two. The return address should be from your current hometown but not yourself, as she may be less compelled to open the box if it comes from a third party. I have done what you describe several times and it only makes matters worse. Not to mention the cost of getting all new gear. This is a part of who you are and throwing things away is not going to change anything. Best of luck in your new home.
Moving is a great time to get rid of stuff you don't really need. So go through your stash and weed out things that don't really fit or not so great. Same thing with all your other stuff. At a minimum keep one complete setup (outfit and jewerly and whatever else you use). Pack it in something only you would unpack. You will most likely regret a total purge. I hope you find an adequate solution and wish you the best on this journey.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
Devil's advocate: New large speaker cabinets and other items of a similar size could be bought at the new home's location and may therefore arouse interest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Allison Chaynes
I like putting stuff in sealed boxes with a label unlikely to pique interest the best. Making a better job of sealing the boxes you don't want opened than the others may arouse interest as well.
A metal box welded shut might work, :devil: but is likely to arouse suspicion, as well as damaging the items inside during the welding process.
If you can do not purge as someone that has purged many times I always regret it and re-buy
Avi, I say either purge or have the talk with your wife and tell her about your CDing?.. It's your life and your decision to make and if you're afraid she's gonna find out the hard way by discovering your feminine attire, then think about what the best course of action would be.
I mean, she would discover that you had been living a lie and you gotta ask yourself if you would really want that..... Just my 2 cents. LOL
Assuming that your wife doesn't know you have several problems. A storage company is about the only solution until you get situated. You could hide it perhaps but it sounds like you have more than you can hide while moving. You could mail it to general delivery at the new destination (check with the post office). I don't know how much your wife and you are together. Will she want to go to town with you?
A box or plastic bags are a good disguise.
Purge..... Never!
Been there and done this on many occasions, like so many have already said
I needed to purge once before my wife knew I dressed lost some things I wish I had today. why not do as Rader suggests. you will be happy you did. :hugs:
Angie
purged so many times. wish I had not.
hello Avi,
what a horrible dilemma!
you will regret it and make yourself very unhappy if you at least don't take at least some of your favourite clothes with you.
luv J
Well.... I have reduced my wardrobe to something I feel I can keep hidden during the move. This may be enough to keep me from experiencing complete withdraw. Lets hope.
Avi