Double life

Yesterday my friend came by and we started working on his car, word got out what we were doing and a few more buddies came by to give there backyard machanic opinions. With following Covid guidelines the best we can, we hung out together.
Once they left I took a shower and dressed pretty and I was watching TV. My wife came home and stood there and stared at me, I asked her what her problem was? She said, unbelievable one minute I'm fixing cars drinking beer and smoking with my buddies and the next im all dolled up like a pretty women. She then joked if I took advantage of the coming out day and came out to my buddies and she chuckled.
She then told me what a transformation all in a few hour and walked away saying something like, if someone would have told her 40yrs ago there would be a day like today she would have never believed it.
I just responded that I was flattered she called me a pretty women. Lol
I guess we don't even notice ourself what a double life we really lead. Just wanted to share and I'm sure we all have our transformation stories.

Funny story.

Maria,

Do you think we'd make good spies? I guess there's a good many of us who have feet in both camps. Living proof things don't have to be binary.

We all have that "double standard" I suppose.
Yesterday we went out shopping (me drab) and took a ride. We came home and I ran the lawn tractor around to get rid of some of the leaves and did all the pre-winter things like checking tire pressures and oil levels and such. Then we came in and had a light supper and I just naturally headed to the bedroom to change, slipping into my bra and forms, slippers and a light dress to lounge the night away and watch some tv. It was just as natural as anything else I do.
This morning the weather is bad and will be all day so I gave myself a mani/pedi and in a little while I'll be doing my makeup and dressing for the day.

It's what we do. And it's just fun to do.

That's an excellent story, made me smile and I would definitely take the "pretty woman" comment and enjoy that moment

You are quite right though, I work in quite a male dominated physical environment, heavy engineering, then come home and change into female mode and feel good in both

Needless to say I am envious of the relationship you have with your wife. Nice story. I think it must be bewildering for many wives to see their husbands go from their image of their man doing "manly" things to emulating a female.

This one works both ways for me. My wife can hold her own working on things around the house, yard or farm. She can then come back in and get all dolled-up.

It's something many western women have been free and accepted at for many years now, probably since at least the last world war, if nor much earlier in some cultures. Mechanic engineer bank clerk, many roles by day. Then dolled up to the seven, eight, nines, when the mood takes. May be one reason among many, why we enjoy so much from a life emulating and putting effort into being like them.

Wonder if any of your friends did the same after they got home?!

For me a double life is the same as hypocrite, one of those is a lie and your wife is just expressing it with irony as a joke.

I'm sure that many will disagree with me but just because had no had the guts to do the right election and prefer to keep being good with God and devil.

I know that you don't see it because we human being always end believing our lies so, excuses to explainnour very know mistakes, as one of the songs title of Michael Frank, we forget where we hide the truth.

I know that some people can be non-binary but this not the case.

Just answer a question for yourself, all that disagree with me, if you were given the option of to chose one of those life without negative consequences, which one would you chose? The answer is so obvious, of course it would be to be a woman because you're a man now but dream about being a woman....

Why don't give yourself a chance to be honest, to be real and bite the bullet?

I know many will try to argument with me so that's just a confirmation of what I'm saying....

Good story, it is just what we do

It may have been national coming out day.

This has to be a personal decision for anyone.

I would never urge anyone to come out no matter what my opinion might be.

Shelly, You are absolutely correct. Forget that it is National coming out day, we must each decide what is best for us and our family.

There is no hypocrisy in a crossdresser moving back and forth between masculine and feminine clothing. That is a misuse of what the word, hypocrisy, means.

It's hypocrisy to show to the world one face and hide the other. It's a lie.

When I was a kid my mom told me that lie has short legs and true always catch her. Another interesting analogy is when we lie, then we have to create another seven lies to conceal that original lie, so do the numbers, it is called exponential, after a while you live a life of lies and is not hard to find here numerous stories about being catch and destroyed lives for hiding something that was true but were afraid of say to the world that it was real so we cover it with a lie, then more lies and so on....you end living a hypocrisy. The feeling of being living for years with a person that was hiding a true is the more damaging feeling a wife can experience.
If there were nothing wrong why to hide it? Believe me I hide it for years and lies, shame, guilty are very common feelings for many here ....call it the way you want but to live one life in your intimacy and live other to the world, How would you call it?

My wife has commented on how I can be covered in grease or sawdust and I jump in the shower then head to the bedroom and come out in a skirt and heels with my nails done.

Pumped, I try to understand what is actually asking your wife, so she wouldn't be able to take a shower after being dirt or does she find inconceivable that a person can live such a double life?

Just my extremes. One minute, all guy, rolling in manly stuff, cars grease or remodeling. Then next, all feminine, dressed with long fake nails.

That's just versatility that you learned for the practice and need and she can't understand it because she is a cis woman and all feminine things for her are natural but if she could want to live as a man, and really wanted she would do it too...

I think she understands it just fine, she just sees some humor in it.

I completely agree. I can switch from rough and tumble to pretty in pink in a flash. I like to think it as a super power lol.

I believe that we can agree that "coming out" means one thing for a TS and quite another thing for a CD. Sharing that you are either with your spouse or SO isn't really coming out. It is the sharing of something intensely personal, and should not be minimized, but it's not the kind of coming out that the day is designated to celebrate.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Devi SM

It's hypocrisy to show to the world one face and hide the other. It's a lie.

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I have lots of things only my wife knows about me. I don't go around telling people all those things about me. It is on a need to know basis. And most people dont need to know I like wearing pantyhose, my kinks, or other things about me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Devi SM

It's hypocrisy to show to the world one face and hide the other. It's a lie.

When I was a kid my mom told me that lie has short legs and true always catch her. Another interesting analogy is when we lie, then we have to create another seven lies to conceal that original lie, so do the numbers, it is called exponential, after a while you live a life of lies and is not hard to find here numerous stories about being catch and destroyed lives for hiding something that was true but were afraid of say to the world that it was real so we cover it with a lie, then more lies and so on....you end living a hypocrisy. The feeling of being living for years with a person that was hiding a true is the more damaging feeling a wife can experience.
If there were nothing wrong why to hide it? Believe me I hide it for years and lies, shame, guilty are very common feelings for many here ....call it the way you want but to live one life in your intimacy and live other to the world, How would you call it?

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You are wrong. What you say here has nothing to do with hypocrisy. You need to understand the meaning of the word before you throw it around here so cavalierly. Lies and secrecy, in and of themselves, have nothing to do with hypocrisy.

I only care because I've seen many posts here where wives come to this forum to learn about their family members crossdressing. What you say about hypocrisy regarding hiding your crossdressing is wrong.

Hi Maria :hugs:, I always said that Crossdressing lets me have the BEST of both worlds, >Orchid .oO:daydreaming:Oo.

I was sure I had weighed in on this double life stuff, but it seems not. I totally understand the incongruence of presenting as a woman after presenting as a male for hours, days or more. At least from the perspective of an SO.

For my part, gradually (over years) the male presentation increasingly became a facade and I was at first eager, then one might almost say desperate to escape it and back into my female presence.

I played the male part out of convenience and necessity. Is that hypocrisy...perhaps. Frankly, I don’t care. There are lots of personal things that might have raised the eyebrows of people I know. I don’t feel obligated to share anything, even if it leaves a somewhat misleading impression of who I am.

That being said, I have started coming out to former colleagues and other people, but I still am not fully out, full-time and may never be. Hypocritical. OK, fine. I’m just trying to get along. I can’t seem to reject this part of myself, and I as yet fear rejecting my old male self.

To me, male clothing is a uniform that I wear to perform certain duties. It’s the same as a policeman or a soldier wearing a uniform when on duty. I don’t lead a double life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shellybme

I completely agree. I can switch from rough and tumble to pretty in pink in a flash. I like to think it as a super power lol.

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Like a super hero?s alter ego. The dynamics and extremes are the spice of life. This post made me smile. Thanks for sharing.

My wife can't wrap it around her head that I can do the same thing. Spend a day wrenching on cars... and spend the next day dressed to the nines.

This does not fit the definition of hypocrisy. From dictionary.com, hypocrisy is defined as
-a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
-a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.
I can only speak as a heterosexual cross dresser because that is what I am. Maria and several others, by their comments here, likewise fit that description. I leave it to others who identify otherwise to comment otherwise. The heterosexual cross dresser makes no pretense of being a guy doing things that fit a stereotype of being a guy. We actually are guys doing things that fit that stereotype for all to see. Our hearts are actually, honestly into being a guy. That we have this compartment of our lives is unusual (most estimates are less than 10%) and, perhaps to our SOs, it is undesirable, but it does not fit the definition of hypocrisy.

A high degree of mental compartmentalization, far from putting the lie to our fitting a male stereotype, actually confirms it. Compartmentalization is such a male trait that there are comediennes who make a living making fun of it. One such sketch shows a comedienne describing a guy going into a room filled with labeled boxes, opening one box, working or playing with the contents for a while, then putting everything back, and closing the box. She then describes him opening another box and going through the same behaviors with no indication shown that the first box, or any other box, even exists. She points out that men in her culture behave this way while women seldom do. Carrying the description to an extreme gets laughs. As with any stereotype, there is a kernel of truth within. A compartmentalizing behavior does not reveal hypocrisy on the issue of being male. On the contrary, it further confirms maleness within our comedienne?s culture.

I don’t think there is any hypocrisy in swapping our presentation of ourselves from one context to another. It is what human beings do. During the Second World War Queen Elizabeth served in the ATS and worked as a driver and mechanic. She didn’t do that dressed in state robes but in overalls. She wore what was appropriate for the context.

A crossdresser who (in drab) condemns another person for crossdressing would be a hypocrite.
If asked, DENYING it could be considered to be a tad hypocritical - but perhaps necessary depending on who/how/when/etc.
Simply doing other things and not bring it up because it's irrelevant? Not at all.

At work I didn't discuss my religious/philosophical beliefs, my sex life, my political views, OR how I dressed at home.
I didn't feel like a hypocrite.
Those topics simply had nothing to do with what I was doing at the time.

Now, I understand that Devi is trans, rather than CD and that colors her views. To her, I suspect that presenting as male always feels hypocritical.
That's just not true for others though, and calling someone a hypocrite for not sharing the same beliefs seems harsh to me.

Devi you display a sad lack of tolerance for the lives others choose for themselves and there is absolutely nothing hypocritical about the duality of presenting differently at times.

As much as I enjoy presenting a professional corporate image in suit and tie, cuff links and polished shoes; I?m a completely different person at home, far more casually attired. I will rarely wear a collared shirt and most of the time it?s a souvenir black t-shirt from some concert I?ve been to. Two very different presentations that I?m equally comfortable with.

That many crossdressers remain in the closet says more about the double standard in society where people wouldn?t bat an eyelash if my wife rocked up to the office in a shirt and tie but would snigger and gossip if I turned up in my skirt and tights.

I'd generalize and say that many of us have multiple 'lives'- sequential and simultaneous. We have options, we wonder, we dream, we try things, we assert things, we give up things, we share one slice of life with friends that exist in and for that slice of life, etc.

Even the idea of a binary option that we have to choose between, or are allowed to switch between, is fundamentally flawed. The meaning of 'manly' and 'womanly' are actually broad overlapping clusters of characters, and only loosely defined and situational and personal and ... two people won't even agree on a fixed definition.

I had to laugh listening to your transformation....I too do something similar. I am in the closet with my family, so I have to occasionally take time off of work to have a Barbara day. But I usually have to go back and work the second half of my 24 hour shift. So, off comes the nail polish, makeup and cute outfits, and on goes the uniform and back to the station I go.....and I promise, even though we have some women that work here, its not feminine at all.

Thanks for sharing

Barbara

Hi Maria, this post caught my attention. 1st, the post is very similar to what I think when I go to work and then dress for my GG.

2nd, your wife has given a super compliment....Great fun day!