Running into people you know or know you

I went to Macy's yesterday to buy some panties. I found the panties I wanted and went up to pay for them. I'm standing there holding a bunch of panties and up walks a gal that I knew we had met before that worked in the store. It finally hit me she was a friend of one of the girls and we had met before. She didn't say anything, but I think she recognized me. Years ago our daughter's friend worked at one of the department stores. I didn't know it and was shopping for a blouse when she said high to me. She then told my daughter, I ran into your dad shopping in the women's department.

I was shopping one day. I had a handful of bras and panties, headed for the check out. I walked around a corner and my wife's sister was standing there. She didn't see me so I spun around and ditched my intended purchases. I wasn't going to take the risk, and couldn't say they were a gift for my wife as she is a 30B and I was buying 40DDD! I walked back by her and stopped and visited for a few minutes and left. I was thinking what would I have said if I was checking out and she walked up!

You never know. I was at a Seattle Mariner game with my family which included my son-in-law who is a Chicago transplant. We were in the upper deck. My SIL recognized his next door neighbor who was still living in Chicago. She and a girl friend were touring baseball parks during the summer. Off went my SIL to say hello.

When my brother (New York) was in elementary school he went to the Statue of Liberty on a field trip. He met our cousin from New Jersey in the head dress of the statue. Snall world!

Best thing to do is marry a woman your size.

about 10 years ago. I saw a friend at a yonkers, but they didn't see me. Last week I was getting my nails filled, and when I sat down. There was a lady sitting to me left. Who from the side. Looked a lot like my girlfriends sister. Not sure if she knows, but it wasn't her.

Liz,
One of the trickiest stories I can recall was when shopping in male mode and had several makeup items in my basket when I bumped into one of my son's male friends . As we chatted I could his eyes keep checking out the items in my basket , that was at a time when I was still in the closet . I kept visualising the converstation with my son , , " Bumped into your dad today in Superdrug , why did he have lipstick and other stuff in his basket ? "

I recall a more recent occasion after I had gone full time , I was in an out of town store walking down the stairs when I saw a neighbour with some friends from the village I used to live in . I couldn't do a U turn so there was no way I could avoid walking passed only a few feet away , as we did pass I gave her a slight smile and kept walking after a few steps I took a glance round but the penny obviously hadn't dropped as she continued up the stairs .

Nowdays I would have stopped and chatted to her , it's so good to have all those problems behind me .

The salon I get my pedicures at is in our town and is called a small city, not really to me. In years past I was there with color, usually pink or red back then and on at least 3 occasions woman I knew a little came in. I was nervous what may be said but am way past that now and absolutely do not care.
I never heard anything from anyone about me being there.

When I saw the thread title, I assumed it was about running into people you know while dressed. Obviously, it isn't.

Yes, there is always a chance of running into a friend, neighbor or relative when shopping for your feminine things. Imagine you just put on a pair of heels in the shoe store and are walking in them when your preacher walks around the corner!

It's not illegal for a man to buy women's clothes or makeup, but it can be embarrassing under the wrong circumstances. You can get a pass for the two weeks prior to Halloween.

For many of us, we can shop on the other side of town or even in another town entirely. This minimizes, but does not eliminate the chance of running into someone you know.

Oh man, this is one of the reasons I mainly shop online! I'm not confident enough to shrug off these kinds of situations haha

Literally had something happen similar to this just the other day. I live with my GF and a roommate who has an erratic work schedule, who I assumed was still at work when some packages of new CD stuff arrived. I was with my GF in the living room opening the packages, one of them being flats that I PUT ON and STRUTTED in, and we were talking loudly about how cute they were and what outfits they'd be good with, etc. An angel must have been watching over me because as soon as I took them off and was about to open the next package I hear my roommate say "Hey what's up" from his room upstairs THAT HE SOMEHOW GOT TO PRIOR TO PACKAGE OPENING. Never have I been more terrified of a simple greeting in my entire life, but my GF saved me by being calm and collected and even dropped a hint in conversation that the stuff was hers and not mine. I don't think he heard anything about our conversation because if it was me in his shoes I probably would have just stayed in my room lol. That or he assumed that we were referring to things being cute for my GF.

But yeah... I had to go lay down after that. My heart nearly exploded. Still recovering 😅

If you?re paying rent or own the place I would say you are entitled to dress any way you want. This coming from someone in a DADT who owns his home and can?t dress here in front of his wife. A classic example of ?do as I say, not as I do?.

This very thing happenned to me recently, I saw an expat women (who lives in another village near here and whom I know slightly and must know about my dressing) in the same food shop as I was in, how acceptable she is i will never know, because I greeted her and got a brief reply and then she was off like a scalded cat!!
I laughed quietly to myself later thinking " another disliker".

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Originally Posted by Star01

If you?re paying rent or own the place I would say you are entitled to dress any way you want. This coming from someone in a DADT who owns his home and can?t dress here in front of his wife. A classic example of ?do as I say, not as I do?.

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I don't disagree, and I don't think it would bother them too much, but like I said I don't feel confident/passable enough to be "girl mode" in front of anyone but my GF right now (or anonymous people online 😊). I wish I was, because then I'd just dress up and go shopping because I don't really know anyone near here!

Krisi,
I don't think it was specified , at some point most of us have near scrapes whether dressed or in drab .

I had to smile at your comment about your preacher catching you out , it crossed my mind of how would you feel if you caught your preacher trying on heels ! His excuse was he wanted to stand taller in the pulpit .

One reason why I NEVER DRESS AND GO OUT LOCALLY to vanilla venues!:eek:

It's bad enuff being caught shopping for fem items in drab!:doh:

Many years ago I ran into a close friend of my wife's in a thrift store, with my basket full of ladies things! Back then I was deep in the closet and even my family didn't know about Sherry!:sad:

I made some quick comment about shopping "for the girls" and moved to regular chit chat. With me having a wife and 2 girls, she probably never had a second thot!:heehee:

The closest I’ve come to running into someone I knew while shopping was just a few months before I came out to some of my co-workers. I had picked up some makeup items at Walmart, and a few moments later, bumped into one of our nurse-practitioners. All I had in my cart at that moment was some lip liner, lipstick, shadow and make up wipes. We chatted for a few minutes without ever discussing my purchases. I don’t think she even gave the contents of my cart a glance.

Oddly enough, she was one of the first people I came out to at the office, and she proved to be incredibly supportive as well as a tremendous resource on make up techniques, owing to among other things, her undergraduate minor in theater arts. She still works with transgender patients and I’ve donated clothing and wigs to some of her girls.

My wife is into pedicures, and one time a few years ago, she said something about getting a pedicure, and I invited myself along -- in male mode. (She won't have any part of Nancy.) The lady working on me got my toenails all clean and dry and told me she was finished with me, and I explained that if I was paying for a pedicure, I wanted the polish, too. While I was sitting in the front of the shop waiting for my toenails to dry and for my wife to get finished, one of our neighbors said hello to me on the way out. I still wonder what she said to her husband when she got home.

While out enfemme shopping I decided I needed something to eat and walked up to look at the menu in the window of an eatery. As I got close I noticed a couple sitting in one of the window seats and as we glanced at each other for that moment I was certain it was someone I know.

A slight smile appeared on his face and I ducked in front of the menu so I couldn't be seen. Needless to say I didn't go in.

I wasn't 100% sure it was the person I know and that the slight smile was due to me being read. Anyway I bumped into the guy at a Christmas party some weeks later and either it wasn't him in the restaurant or if it was my makeup was good enough to disguise me sufficiently that looking at his body language I saw no hint of recognition that it was him and he'd clocked me.

That moment weeks earlier did make my heart race at the time but things like this go with the turf.

Once I was out shopping I had gone 20 miles south to a big mall. It was one of those days I just felt soo good about my outfit and my make up. I got brave and stop by my local dress barn Holding 4 items in my hand ready to head to a chancing room when I turned around and a wife of a friend (not a real close friend) was right there. I think I kept my cool walked around the corner placed items on the closet rack walk with my head up (my back to her) right out the door. I feel 95% she didn't recognize me. (at lease she hasn't shown it the few times we have talked since)

This doesn't have anything to do with CD'ing, but related to the conversation,

My wife and I were in Minneapolis 300 miles from home, just shopping and site seeing. We ended up down by the docks on the river, an industrial area. There was a lot of heavy equipment around, stuff I never see, river related stuff, so we got out and walked around and snooped. We walked around the corner of a building and ran into a good friend of mine and his family. We all just looked at each other, almost in shock and started talking about why and how we ended up there. They had pretty much the same story as us, they got there totally by accident, took a wrong turn, thought the place looked interesting and went for a walk and snoop!

It could have as easily been one of the shopping malls!

hello Liz,
I have bumped into friends and colleagues when shopping. No one has ever said anything. They don't know whether the clothes or make up are for my wife, my daughter, my granddaughter or me. They don't know that I am there by myself and not waiting for my wife who is trying on some clothes in the changing room. They don't know whether I am experiencing the "pink fog" or am just another bored husband.
Yes I suspect that some friends and colleagues suspect something. At the end of the day - it is my money and I can spend it how I wish.
stay healthy,
Luv J

Hi Liz, I?m blessed with a supportive wife, with one exception, going out together....small nosy town, neighbors etc. A few years ago, my wife gave in and agreed to go out. We decided on dinner and movie 20 miles away. Well guess what..we saw another couple we knew....small world. We both freaked out. They didn?t see us, thank goodness. I will occasionally go out for a drive risking an accident, police, flat tire etc. It?s my only DADT. Can?t help it.

As of now I haven't run into anyone I know [Knock On Wood!] I used to get a little nervous walking through the mall with a Lane Bryant bag in drab, but I got used to it. Unfortunately the closest one is 30 miles away now. I normally shop at big box retail early in the morning [before work] so there's usually less of a chance but I wont ever count it out.

This has happened to me a number of times, sometimes with near fatal results.
This last summer I traveled to another city to watch my granddaughter play in a softball tournament. I drove to the location alone and had a room in the nearby hotel alone. It was also the hotel where my son and granddaughter (and the team) was staying. I normally stay in Drab around my son and his family, upon request to "not expose the children yet". On this trip i let the lockdown get the best of me and I dressed up and went out one night to explore the city. I thought I was returning after hours such that I would be unseen by the 12 yr old girls or my granddaughter in the hotel (well after 10pm). I wasn't detected by my grandchild but I WAS spied by my son as I was sneaking into the hotel. (not really sneaking; I was entering the lobby openly). He had a minor fit over it, thinking I took too much risk. I am out to him as far as being trans but he doesn't wish to deal with explaining it to his kids. I understand. We since patched up the little spat.

I had one other time I got caught that is worth mentioning. The most terrible night of my life; and I've had many of them (from my military flying days, etc.).
I was on my first command tour (career Naval Officer), but living alone as a geographic bachelor on shore during this time. I'd just finished a sea tour, so the time away from home put added pressure on me and my wife/home situation. [My wife had to remain at our old house to let our daughter graduate high school). My living situation was dismal while i lived alone (except for weekends). My cheap quarters were just that. I inherited God-awful discipline and command climate problems from my predecessor. This was a tough job and I was getting pummeled by it. No fun.

In the little free time I had, my old "habit" crept back. I thought I had buried it for a couple years and my gender dysphoria disappeared. It returned, and I found myself buying underclothes at first (and wearing them under my uniform AGAIN). Eventually I also bought a dress and accessories. And then I went out. A huge mistake.
One evening while trying to keep my distance in the crowd in the city entertainment district, I saw a group of my Sailors. Yes, Sailors under my command. A couple of them looked right at me. I swear it was dead in the eye. I freaked. Froze, and then beat feet out of there absolutely believing I had been clocked. (My make up and "look" were nothing close to passing). How could they NOT have seen me from 10-15 ft away.
The next day was the weekend. My wife (some 200 miles away) was out of the house and out of town visiting her Mom. The house was empty. I drove 200 miles home. Donned my best Service Dress Blue with all the large medals. I sat at the kitchen table fulling intending to die with dignity. I did not want to face what was certain to happen when I mustered the crew on Monday morning. I think didn't have a tear left in my body by the time the evening passed, and I was just too exhausted.

Getting caught can be fun and games. Some times I've enjoyed the act of 'out-ing' myself. But for some of Us (CD's and TG's) this can be an all too real slice of life in an unaccepting world.
BTW, I got incredibly lucky. No hint of anyone placing me at the scene of the crossdressing. My men saw nothing and I dodged my own bullet.

IleneD: I am so sorry you almost left us, due to being outed (almost). In your mind it was real and I understand your feelings. I was outed, but nothing came of it, but your life does pass in front of you, if you have lots to loose, I am so thankful nothing happened to you, but many will never understand the distress you were placed under, unless they have been in our shoes.

I consider being a cder a blessing, but it can be a curse if everything you have worked for is about to go down the drain. Have a great Thanksgiving.

If the fear of getting caught drives you to consider suicide, I have to say, don't dress in public.

For sure, many of us could never pass as an actual woman. That's a shame, but it's reality. That said, I would think that we should be able to hide our identity to the point where we might be recognized as a crossdresser, but not be identified as ourselves, at least by the casual observer.

Of course, if one goes out in public dressed in the company of your wife, the chances of someone recognizing you increases immensely because folks will recognize your wife and associate you with her. Same thing if you have a unique vehicle or a visible handicap.

We have to think of the benefit vs. the risk and make our individual decisions.

If I occasionally run into people from work (very big company) , the usual response is, I've known since... I've always joked but it's true. I'm out at work I just don't know it yet. More like it's just unspoken.

Am I the only one to just walk up to and talk to those I know? I had a 30 minute conversation with an old friend and he didn't bat an eye. I have always said I dont hide it but I dont really advertise it either. I did ask one friend if a skirt made my butt look big with a photo sent. I did know she would be accepting though.

Like Natalee, I mostly shop online to avoid this. But I am involved in community theatre so I always have that as an out for strange purchases.

I had a close call at the mall of America Macy?s last year I was in the women?s department and had just purchased a skirt and sweater as I was leaving the register counter a very close friend of my wife?s walked by just out of sight another 30 seconds and she would have been right where I was standing not sure how I would explain that one my wife and her Text/talk daily.

JenniferMBlack,
No I will chat to anyone now whether I knew them in male mode or not , I find no one has a problem .

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Originally Posted by JenniferMBlack

Am I the only one to just walk up to and talk to those I know? I had a 30 minute conversation with an old friend and he didn't bat an eye. I have always said I dont hide it but I dont really advertise it either. I did ask one friend if a skirt made my butt look big with a photo sent. I did know she would be accepting though.

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I would image there are many that are not completely out, and/or in a DADT relationship that want to avoid any contacts with people they know from the male side of life.

If you are 100% out, dress all the time, then why would you avoid contact with people you know, unless they negative.

Pumped,
It's not just being out 100% but also accepting your shortcomings and learning to live with them , I have male traits I'll never lose and I don't change my voice . It is the visual impact of the first few minutes that they either accept you or they don't , not necessarily passing but ticking enough boxes so they feel comfortable , they then tend to overlook the male telltales .

Years and years ago when I was still terrified of even being near an open window; I decided to go way out of town and do some shopping for Halloween. Not a costume, but a nice evening wear ensanble.

I drove two hours to Cleveland to an upscale mall. I walk around and my courage builds and I finally I walk into Macy's. I shop and find most of my outfit and I'm in the shoe department trying on shoes when I hear a voice "Michelle? Michelle is that you?" I looked up and it was Carole and a friend. At the time Carole was not my bff but we had a bond and she was fully aware of Michelle. She introduced me to her friend; Christa, and told me that Christa's husband was a trucker and they had moved up to Cleveland.

I was a bit nervous at first but then thought "What the hell, I'm never going to run into the woman again". We chat and end up going and grabbing a Pizza and head back to Christa's place for a kinda "Girls night".

Well...all that sounds fine, until we start talking. She asks me if I lived in Granville with Carole and I told her I did. She then says "I grew up in Granville, I lived on "Smith" street and my Dad still does. Carole without thinking says "Oh, Michelle lives on Smith St". Then kinda looked at me with an "oppsie" in her eyes. I asked her what her fathers name was and hoped he lived several blocks away. "Mark Jones. Do you know him?".

My literal next door neighbor. And one that I am very friendly with.

"No, no. I don't think I have ever met your father".

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Originally Posted by Teresa

Pumped,
It's not just being out 100% but also accepting your shortcomings and learning to live with them.

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I never said 100% passable, just 100% out.

You can be 100% out and still be a MIAD.

While not involving dressing I was on vacation driving overnight to our destination. Around 3 in the morning and about 700 miles from home I pulled into a gas station to fill up my tank. While pumping fuel up pulls another car. Turns out its my neighbor.

I was talking to a person I work with who told me he was overseas with his wife on vacation. They were walking on a beach and ran into their neighbors.

You just never know.

Pumped,
I think you misunderstood , I didn't say 100% passing and also I'm not out as a MIAD , my point was people will accept you or not fairly quickly if they see enough female traits and tend to overlook the telltale male traits , like voice or in my case big hands .