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My wife and I went out to casino last night which may not have been best choice. I felt out of comfort zone with all the people looking at me and then 4 guys stopped and said, wtf is that? And a dew other nasty things. I felt unsafe so we left and went elsewhere which was great as no one cared or really noticed me. I just wish people could mind their own business. I thought I looked ok.
Some people are just scum. You look great - don't let the ignorant A-holes get you down.
Is that Atlantic City?
One of the reasons why I don't go out,
Ridiculed and harassed all of my childhood.
Not going out looking for it now,
But you look amazing, Kudos to you for getting out. :)
You both look nice. I think a casino may not have been your best choice of venues, though. Sometimes alcohol doesn't say nice things,
No, Sydney Australia
You both look great, but some people might think a bit on the trashy side. Nothing wrong with it, but it attacks attention, female, or CD'er. Some guys see a sharp looking woman in a tight, short dress and platform heels and they immediately think hooker and the wrong brain gets engaged. Are you certain they made you or was it a general comment on your attire? Is this style common for the area? Around he the casinos are filled with retired people and a outfit like that would stand out.
My wife would wear some crazy tight little dresses and heels back when we were first going out and married and she always got some sort of reaction. It might have been just a wolf whistle, a whoop, or some guy saying "damn!" or "Looking good honey!". It was enough that she had a tough time dressing up like that. At first she didn't really notice it, then she started asking me what all the fuss was about, "You honey!" she didn't care for al the extra attention!
Scarlett you both look great and nice to see you out with your wife thats a dream for most of us. Do not let them get you down mean people just suck!
It was certainly directed at me yes. Funny that's the least ****ty dress that I wear. It's just above the knee and long sleeved. Its so wrong that women can't wear what they want without someone giving their opinion and I guess in some way I understand how that feels. I don't think the comment were due to the clothes though but then again if wearing a nana dress and flat shoes it prob would draw less attention however life's too short for ugly clothes..
Life can be tough at times and I think the best thing to do is to shrug it off and say to yourself "they are low life scum with no idea about how polite one should" I am not criticising how you were dressed on that evening, you look OK, but I think it was a combination of wrong place, wrong time and dress for that place. There has been much said about dressing to blend could this be one of those times? I don't rightly know because we are all individuals entitled to dress how we please.
Sadly there will always be the nasty ones around to spoil ones day.
Don't let this get you down be like the Phoenix, rise from the ashes and start again.
Good luck you are doing OK!!
Perspective and the glass is half full. You look great and I bet deep down they would date you...
Be safe out there !
Scarlett you look great.
Its just those macho guys thinking they have to say something bad even if they think you look wonderful.
They think they are protecting themselves from ridicule by there friends.
Scarlett,
I'm going to agree with others , the guys probably had too much to drink and opened their mouths without engaging their brains .
Sorry but I do think you should have been a little less showy , the hemline is well above the knee and your heels do make your legs look very attractive . Perhaps you should have played a little safer especially with your wife with you . The outcome is your confidence has been knocked , I hope your wife hasn't been put off another outing with you .
Studies have shown peoples in groups will act in ways they would not act if they were alone; group dynamics. Individually, some guys are so uncouth when alone, but, it seems there is safety in numbers. They seem to feel it is necessary to be drawn in to be part of the group. I'm sure they identified you as a male and showed their disapproval. If they had encountered two women similarly attired the group would have expressed themselves also. You'll get the same verbal crap from a group of young teenage girls.
My wife at 21 was drop dead gorgeous. She was unemployed and had to go to a certain unemployment office in mid town Manhattan. Every week she had to check in and every week the same group of construction workers would wolf-whistled at her and any other attractive woman. One day she had enough and took them to task and yelled at them to the extent a security guard at to intervene. She asked them whether they would appreciate it if a group of men did what they were doing to their daughters or their wives. She had been the United States Army where she had to combat ill mannered creeps. Frankly, my wife is normally placid, but, she does not take crap off anyone.
Going out in daylight to do mundane chores is out of my comfort zone. Yes, it would be nice to be five foot six rather than six foot flat footed. If I want to get it out of my system, i.e., feel the cool breeze on my legs, then I'll take an evening stroll under the cover of darkness.
It looks more like "mid-thigh" rather than "just above the knee" to me! It's a beautiful dress, and you wear it well, but it's a dress that screams "LOOK AT ME!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlett1975
Scarlett, you look FANTASTIC! :) Haters are gonna hate, though there's no stopping that..... But you have a great body for that dress and you looked amazing, very passable imho.
Scarlett, you look fabulous! Good for you to get out and I think it's awesome that your wife goes with you!
Wrong dress and wrong venue...that outfit was a comment in the making. Although it fits you well, staying near home would have been better. We see posts here all the time about dressing for the occasion and that outfit does not fit the place,,,unless attention is what you were looking for?
Watch those sprinkler heads! Lol. I'm about as tall. BTDT! Stay safe. don't let a one-off comment ruin your confidence. If you start getting similar comments week after week it might be time to pick a new strategy. It's amazing how one big nose or broad shoulder or whatever comment can eat away at you for years after it's said. Don't look at this the same way. They were drunk. That's all. It's weird how men act in a group. There is an immediate need to save the rest of the group from the same confusion. As soon as one discovers we may not be as we seem, they feel the immediate need to warn the others in the group. I've seen to behavior many times and this is nothing more. Just the pack leader saying Lookout don't get fooled. Shame but we are making progress overall.
Funny though that the next place we went no body batted and eyelid lol. Thanks for the comments but looking back I think maybe it's the blonde hair rather than the dress as many were wearing far less. I guess I'll just have to get used to comments good or bad as I won't change how I dress. The dress I think had gathered up from walking at that point but it's fine I understand what you are saying .
I lived most of my life in Sydney I now live in Tamworth NSW, the last two years I dressed 24/7 and went to a lot of places in Sydney the whole time I never got any nasty comments, I did get a few stares but I found most people either didn't notice or didn't care. Maybe those jerks were out of towners and had never been exposed to city life or the transgender community.
Amalou is quite right. Boors abound, especially the males, when travelling in packs of three or more, and where alcohol is free.
And yes, you do look great, but you are calling attention to yourself. It's kind of like "boor baiting". :)
You looked amazing. It think the real problem was four guys and a little alcohol. One of them probably noticed something off, and then they had to show each other their macho, and try topping each other for the worst insult.
You can't control what others will say about you. You can only control how you feel about it.
I't's been my experience that the silent types are to be feared more than the verbal types. I agree with the many comments here, let it slide off of you like rain from a seagull's wings.
Fortunette shame shame your comet, it reminds me of; "she deserved it defense based on her dress" and Miss Scarlett1975 you look marvelous and good on you being with a wife who enjoys your life style.Quote:
Wrong dress and wrong venue...that outfit was a comment in the making. Although it fits you well, staying near home would have been better. We see posts here all the time about dressing for the occasion and that outfit does not fit the place,,,unless attention is what you were looking for?
Thank You again everyone for replies they have helped greatly
I don't agree. You wear that outfit into a rough biker bar and you will get comments, maybe more. Wear it to very conservative church and you will get comments. Wear to to a modern dance venue and nobody will say a thing. It is just the sad truth that people can't behave. You should be able to wear what you want, where you want, but real life isn't like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by mbmeen12
"Its so wrong that women can't wear what they want without someone giving their opinion"
It may be wrong, but it's reality. You have two choices:
1) Dress more conservatively and pass as a woman.
2) Dress as you did and put up with the criticism.
You can't control what other people think and you can't control what they say.
Personally, I think that outfit looks nice but it calls attention to you. If you are trying to pass and just have a nice night out with your wife, it would be better to "dress down" a bit. Wear a longer dress and lose the "hooker heels". If you want to blend in, you need to wear outfits similar to what the women are wearing.
It seems to me that if you're going to wear a dress like that, a casino would be the place to wear it. Yes, you have to consider your safety, but that doesn't mean that it is your fault when men act like swine.
A casino, booze and barbarians are not a good combination.
You both look fine, but you know what booze and a group setting does to some with lower IQ's .
More than likely it was "fear" talking... people tend to be afraid of things they do not understand. I was probably their way of dealing with their fear of you, lashing out.
two words "Pepper Spray" . I understand you were with your wife, and I commend you for de-escalating the heck out of there. Protecting others and yourself is the better part of valor.
Be careful with pepper spray. Some states consider it a weapon. Some states you need a permit. If you use it you can get charged for assault! So if you use it make darned certain it was justified.
I know, it is stupid!
Scarlett,
You look amazing. Whoever was dumb enough to say anything negative about you and your wife isn't worth listening to.
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I have pepper spray in my purse. I have it, just in case.
You have all given me such a lift , Thank You. I think we will try again and possibly not care what others say but possibly on a less busy night.
BTW, I've been to a casino and had no problems. But, I did go with a busload of CD/TGs.
Once, a few of us consented to be in a pic that some GGs requested.
Jerks + alcohol
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I agree with Krisi. The outfit maaade you look like you want attention form men and then some. A longer dress or skirt and lower heels would be less likely to attract unwanted alcohol influenced jerk attention.
I'm sorry, but obviously you drew attention with your outfit. What the guys figured out I don't know. You are lucky that it didn't go very wrong for you. Yes young girls can wear skirts that stop just above the knee. Anyone above teens is suspect of being available and draws attention. We can always say that you should be able to wear what ever one chooses the facts are you really can't for safety.
What pumped said.
Yes women have to put up with this type of stuff. As you are representing female you are that plus.
I'm pretty much always over dressed in someone's opinion or whatever, I don't care. Be safe but don't let them spoil a good time. I have experienced when it is impossible.
Scarlett, I'm so sorry that this has happened. I have been laughed at in the past when out, but nothing that made me feel unsafe.
I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable and getting away from the situation and it was the right thing to do I am sure. But maybe inside you could think of it as somewhat of a complement. Two great looking women! Again they should have kept their mouths shut.
There's a current thread on "constructive criticism". Her comment was "constructive criticism". Your comment is the reason many of us are afraid to post "constructive criticism". If we can't post the truth here, what is the point of posting at all?Quote:
Originally Posted by mbmeen12
I am sure the OP wants honest opinions and not everyone just saying what jerks ect ectQuote:
Originally Posted by mbmeen12
Do not get me wrong they were JERKS but welcome to what we GGs have to put up with day in and day out.
Sherlyn loved her short dresses and high heels but after we started going out she saw ....they will look and say predatory comments ( the jerks) so decide if you want to go out with your wife and have fun without the unwanted attention. Or if you want the attention.
It is wrong but that is just how it is .
We found a club where we got to know everyone and we were safe there ...so hopefully after the pandemic you can find that. We danced the night away and dressed how we wanted.
BTW you look great......but as a GG wife it was nerve wracking for me feeling I had to watch out over the both of us..
And finally do not let it damper your fun going out with your wife but decide attention or blending with the other GGs.( not saying wear pants lol) just tone it down unless at a club.
Thanks again to all the replies. I understand what many of you are saying however I must disagree in a way. This is clearly what gg' s go through and there were many there wearing far less. The guys were idiots as we know many can be. I think if I was to tone it down I may as well not bother as it takes so much work and planning to go out I want to feel sexy. People will be people but they have no right to belittle others . My wife wants to go back there and for me to try to have fun this time. I admit I did panic and should have been braver. I might go as a brunette this time lol
Scarlett,
Maybe consider your wife when you want to appear feeling sexy , perhaps she wasn't wasn't so comfortable with , Di makes a very good point about being out with partners .
You admit you felt slight panic but consider if those guys had taken it beyond a few snide remarks , the outcome doesn't bear thinking about !
I know Ide get a whole lot more WTFs if I went out dressed up. Thats why I wear lingerie under my boy clothes daily. I have to live with what i can do .
My wife keeps telling me I looked great and not to worry about others. There was security there but I guess I felt insecure as it's been a while since we went out like that. I feel I let her down in a way by listening to those guys. Actually my wife didn't hear or see the issue or she would have said something to them. Like every thing life it's a balance and probably on a different night where it was less crowded (due to rain) it would have been different. I suppose th ere were a few 1000 people there in that area and although many looked they were the only ones who felt the need to say something bad.
so did these idiots hassle anyone else, like the many other gg's you saw wearing less?Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlett1975
Possibly but I'm not Sure as on further thoughts about the night I realised I was way too self concerned. My wife said I w asnt being looked at by as many as I thought and she didn't really hear those guys so maybe just maybe the main problem was me being paranoid.