Pink fog has gone

I've gone from a state of obsession, where I was using every moment possible to dress and taking risks just to calm the dysphoria, to a state of "Sure, i'd rather be in X or Y clothing" but simply can't be bothered to it.

For me, this is a sign of depression creeping in. I have always said that I would be quite happy for it to just disappear, but then I have a day like today where I have a delivery of new clothes coming and I have zero desire to make the effort and take the risk of getting dressed.

Just needed to rant I guess - I feel like I had a really progressive end to 2020 where I could openly talk about this with a few female friends, and I had a proper talk about it with my wife, and then boom, it's gone.

It'll be back, I know that much!

Charlotte, I was just talking with another member about the same thing. I feel for me it is partly the time of year, I do not like January and February, so cold and dank. I also think since this pandemic with everything changing and no place to go contributes to depression. So with that double hit I feel the pink fog is gone for now.
Hopefully this will change and I know it will but it will be awhile

Hi,
Yep me too!BUT have to keep putting the shoes on at least otherwise will loose the -er-knack of both wearing &walking in them! Then of coarse there's the makeup -have to "keep your hand in" ,plus with the "comfort food" you have to put the dresses/skirts on to see if they still fit.....
So might as well keep dressing :-)
Liz

Happens to all of us, especially with everything going on in the world right now... the last few days i have slumped into a mild depression also. Haven't seen the sun in a week or two and there's too much chocolate left from Christmas! Hopefully soon we will all start to feel better about everything!

I have found that the urge to dress comes and goes. No big deal. And I suspect it's that way with most of us.

I dont believe it goes away Charlotte. Your mind is obviously on other things, and thats okay.
When I'm depressed or really stressed, I seem to lose my "mojo", and don't feel like going through the effort to dress. That doesn't mean my girl side isn't there. I still feel it and acknowledge it every day, no matter how I dress.

I get a bit like Crissy describes this time of the year as well. The "fog" pops in every once in awhile for a short period, but generally is in a much milder form. As for the depression I think anybody who doesn't feel that right now just isn't paying attention. And Karen, I don't think too much chocolate left from Christmas is necessarily a bad thing. But it does vary from person to person. In my view, a house without chocolate isn't a home. :battingeyelashes:

I can absolutely relate, Charlotte. The intense high that only crossdressing can bring, once it starts to dissipate, leaves me feeling like you described. And that depression can be awful. Nevertheless, I think it's healthy that our minds start to wean off that high--after all, it would make functioning in society pretty difficult for me if I was only running on that high. I need downtime. My advice would be to embrace the downtime and use it to see what else fills you, sustains you, and to do that. Exercise also helps...endorphins are great! If we can rely on anything, it's that the urge will return. And you will be SO glad you bought those clothes!

I am retired in a DADT but spend a lot of private time in our lower level. I have a music and computer room and a big screen TV along with a spare bed as I am a night owl.

Even though I could dress down there later in the evening it?s too cold this time of year. That is the biggest mood killer right now for me. The standard routine is to wear sweats while sitting covered by two blankets with an electric space heater. I live in Minnesota in the dead of winter locked down in a pandemic and have to be sneaky just to wear panties. Ironically I am in the middle of a huge fog and can?t do much about it. My fun is ready the experiences of others on this forum.

I definitely need more daylight - i've broken my ankle and it's going to need surgery to fix it. Until then, I can't go for walks or bike rides - i'm just stuck in the house 24.7.

Thank god for my family, my playstation and my guitar.

CharlotteCD, guitar is a lifesaver and sanity saver. I have a 24 track mixer/recorder that does an amazing job. Riffs may morph into crossdressing songs, one never knows.

If you ever fine out what compels you to be en femme in the first place, then you'll understand why the desire ebbs and flows. There are times when it seems the inability to dress drives one nuts. Then, there are times when there is ample opportunity and it becomes a non starter. When I retired and my wife was still working it seemed all I did was be en femme to the extent I was ignoring anything that needed to be done which I could not do en femme. Yes, all the inside domestic chores were done a la June Cleaver, but, out of the home chores were totally neglected. After awhile normalcy took over. Frankly, participating on the site did offer me an outlet to stay engaged.

I suspect this overwhelming desire or need to be en femme all the time is unsettling to many wives. It may border on a compulsive disorder where nothing else matters or is achieved. You also mention you had a "proper talk" with your wife and talked with "a few female friends." Sometimes undoing the secrecy lessens the hype about doing anything.

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Originally Posted by CharlotteCD

I definitely need more daylight - i've broken my ankle and it's going to need surgery to fix it. Until then, I can't go for walks or bike rides - i'm just stuck in the house 24.7.

Thank god for my family, my playstation and my guitar.

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Oh, no! Hope you get the surgery soon and heals up quickly!


Another person who has really intense periods of interest, followed by indifference, for both long and short times.

With Covid, economy, politics, etc guess I?m surprised to meet someone who isn?t depressed! With all the above it seems like depression is the norm.

Take care!

It?ll be back? When you least expect it. You can bet the bank on it. When it happens...celebrate.

hello Charlotte,
Perhaps it is the Covid Lockdown and the short winter days that make me feel the same way.
All I can say is the longer I go without getting dressed the worse it gets.
So I will follow my own advice and get dressed tomorrow (and hope that you can too)
luv J

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try using daylight equivalent lighting in the house - it does brighten up my day (and keeps SAD away - "Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression most often exacerbated by the fall and winter seasons and their darker days."
luv J

I go from intense craving that demands the cutest outfit I can don- to feeling like Ok- I am a woman and don't need to prove it, and it is kind of self-involved to spend a lot of time primping!

Also an important lesson I learned is that depression and paralysis are conjoined twins- letting either one happen leads to the other. And taking purposeful action about anything at all we care about, and in my discovery case it was just fixing the way I had folded the sheet on my bed, can end a terrible depression.

If it?s any consolation articles I have seen suggest that much like the 1918 pandemic this current one will likely be followed by a roaring 20?s. If things are difficult now keep that kind of fun time as motivation to get through all this healthy and ready to roar.

O YA! Don't you worry it will be back. When the first Covid lock down happened my wife couldn't understand why I wasn't talking advantage of the situation. I went through lock down not dressing once except pantyhose, it was like a depressing situation and not wanting to do something to make me happy in a bad situation. The past last week I have been dressed 24/7. We could only wish it would leave that easy, but it's in our blood and believe we all go through these up and down feelings. Rate away that's what we're here for to listen and learn.

Excuses and vague explanation to what is inside you guys.

You all are trans people. Just when you accept that is not a hobbie, not a stress relief but something rooted deep in your brain that's looking for an external expression and do specific steps to look for a balance, not that kind of balance of taking pain killers for a cancer tumor but a treatment for that tumor that in this case is not a tumor but a real femenine person in you that's been in prison for.your fears and doubts, then you will fund the truth and as someone very known said, and "the truth shall set you free" for the mean time you can use expressions as "pink fog" what a stupidity to call it in that way....

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Haven't seen the sun in a week or two and there's too much chocolate left from Christmas!

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I can relate to that.

I too find the desire comes and goes and when the desire goes, it is gone. I'm in a lull right now and was thinking last night about purging many things I will probably never wear again, or maybe should have never worn to begin with. Not a full purge, but maybe a 50% purge.

Often a new outfit or accessory will be all it takes to motivate the cycle back around.

But sometimes it's just like this...

To you it may sound good
To me it sounds so wrong
The notes and chords sound similar
The same forbidden beat, but
The desperation's gone
The song's the same
But the desperation's gone

Hi Charlotte :hugs:, That broken ankle seams to take priority in your life now, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

♫ ♬ After The Love Fog Has Gone. ♭ ♮ ♯

🎼 For a while,

To dress was all we would do. 🎼

🎵 We were young, and we grew,

and the drive.. was alive. 🎵

🎶 Deep inside we knew,

the girl was true. 🎶

🎼 For a while,

Was unconfined, unsurpassed. 🎼

🎵 The time went so fast, 🎵

🎶 Every night,.. it felt right, 🎶

🎼 Would delight us to begin the day...



🎵 Something happened along the way,

We used to be feminine clad. 🎵

🎶 Something drove the pink fog away,

We threw away the clothes we haaad....

🎼 Oh,

After the love fog has gone... 🎵

:p.


Get well soon! ♿ 🤞.

- L.

Lydianne, nice song, you are inspired!

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Originally Posted by Devi SM

You all are trans people.

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Aw, Devi, you again. I was almost done convincing my wife I wasn't.
Seriously, happy you found your truth.

I love new clothes. I am looking for a wide belt as accessories. New outfits will help. Also, ankle boot or cast,,, Yikes. No cute shoes for a while.

SO sorry. All will be good in about 12 weeks.

Quote:

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then you will fund the truth and as someone very known said, and "the truth shall set you free" for the mean time you can use expressions as "pink fog" what a stupidity to call it in that way....

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Ouch Devi, we are here to support and Ill assume you were tired etc or not? To the actual post; Miss Charlotte you will be back or maybe not. But if you do come back to your post, it might be time to reach out for professional help for the depression for those highs /lows that's manifesting.

Call it pink fog or whatever you like but much like every other focus in our lives it comes and goes. I think it has to do with finding your happiness. There have been periods in my life where i didnt feel the "pink fog" fkor months or years. But it was OK because i had other focuses and other needs. I you are not finding joy in expressing your feminine side what else is brining you joy or grabbing your attention? Whatever it is grab it and embrace that. Just because you're not feeling it for your female clothes doesnt necessarily mean your depressed or a different person .... just maybe a different focus for the moment. Relax ... enjoy what makes you happy.

The Pink fog to me is when I really feel the need to dress or shop for feminine things. Just like real fog sometimes its thicker or sometimes lighter. The pink fog always seems to be around me though.

Considering I went to the shops underdressed, spent 3 hours dressed today, and 2 hours online shopping, I think it's safe to say it's come back.

The sun doesn?t seem to come out for me at all of late. This pink fog seems to have hit a growth spurt. Not that I?m complaining

These things go in cycles, and Covid has put a damper on everything. At my favorite dress shop, they tell me dress sales are down because no one has an occasion that requires a new dress.

I really hope you don't do anything drastic, like a purge, at this time. Hold off until things go back to almost normal, whatever that looks like. That way, you can be sure about whether its the condition of our times driving uour feelings or an actual change of attitude

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Originally Posted by CharlotteCD

Considering I went to the shops underdressed, spent 3 hours dressed today, and 2 hours online shopping, I think it's safe to say it's come back.

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🤨...

🤔...


♫ ♬ BAD! BACK! ♭ ♮ ♯


🎼 The skirt is mine,

Gonna dress tonight. 🎼

🎵 Make up my face,

Throughout, delight! 🎵

🎶 I'm telling you,

How my ankles feel. 🎶

🎼 Gotta stretch and stride,

Those shoes will kill. 🎼

( Sha'mone!.. Ah!.. Sha'mone! )

( Get 'em off me,.. ah! )

( Too tight! )


🎵 I'm living through,

One half of me. 🎵

🎶 It's not enough,

So I let it be. 🎶

🎼 I'm telling you,

When the fog is out. 🎵

🎵 It's not the same,

Endure the drought. 🎵

🎶 Well today the sky's the limit,

And to me it isn't blue. 🎶

🎼 In the end, it's pink or nothing,

And my nails will need some glue... 🎼

🎵 Because I'm back ( I'm back ), I'm back ( I'm back ), sha'mone! ( really, really back )... 🎵

. . .
. . .

🎶 Let the whole world have a dress on right now, 🎶

🎼 And the pink fog comes again...


🎵 Who's Back?... 🎵


:p

- L.

CharlotteCD, I think your lost pink fog has taken up residence at my house and won?t leave me alone. Many years ago when I worked in catapults on a carrier we used to pull a joke on new ones and sent them for a bucket of steam to prime the catapult. The reason I bring that up is the pink fog is even more difficult to deal with than those fictitious buckets of steam. If I can capture the pink fog I will box it up and mail it back to you.

Pink fog is diluted by engaging in other pursuits.

ie. A twenty year old finds a potential partner.

Poof! All pink fog gone. :-)

Dressing is just part of my daily routine. Get up, pick out a dress, maxi if it’s cold, shorter if it’s warm. Maybe a miniskirt if I’m feeling especially bold. If I start felling depressed (how can you not these days?) I look down at how I’m dressed and feel that there’s at least one thing right with the world.