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This crossdressing thing is actually two things.
1) Like many here, I crossdress for the fun, excitement, artful creativity, cerebral stimulus, etc.. It's just what I enjoy and I'm perfectly comfortable and balanced as a male entity.
2) Many others here crossdress to be or be closer to being female. The comfort goes away when having to emulate male or the birth genetics entity.
So, where are you?
Carla,
I can only descibe going back to male mode as total discomfort , which for me now feels like crossdressing .
It really does feel good to accept being TG and living as a woman . I also admit it is more fun , it's stimulating and makes me feel far more creative . Turning seventy in April as a man is a depressing thought .
I guess I'm looking for where those two worlds intersect. What needs to happen in order for me to feel authentic and genuine about who I really am. What do I need to present to the world in order to be me.
Not sure where this might end up on the male/female spectrum. Is it mostly MIAD. Is it living female 24/7. Don't think it's full transition. This is all part of the journey I'm on.
I feel no discomfort while living in male mode.
I have never been 100% comfortable as a male, even back to my childhood I didn't fit in. That said I am not 100% comfortable crossdresssing either. I don't see myself ever coming out and dressing fully, although I probably will continue with doing a more endogenous thing, wearing women's clothing, jeans, boots in a male mode.
I do enjoy wearing dresses and jewelry and trying to look the best I can, I do get some comfort dressing, I just don't see ever taking it to the street.
I really struggle with this. I know I am male. I wish I were female. I?m not comfortable with being male but I guess I am resigned to it.
Been watching lots of the videos by Dr. Z on YouTube about transgender issues. A GG friend is watching them also to understand TG issues so we can chat more. She realized she had a lot of stereotypical views.
I’m fine with male presentation, because lazy....
U left out the sexual component, Carla!:o
It doesn't happen every time I dress. But, sometimes seeing myself in the mirror just plain turns me on!:devil:
Both, I think, for me, but more 2 than 1
I dress mainly for fun and because I like the feel and look of women's clothes, especially shoes, pantyhose and leggings. I am physically more comfortable in women's clothing when at home, but stay in male mode outside the house, except for under clothes.
Carla,
Over time I have leaned one way or the other to some degree, but having gone out many times in recent years it boils down to this. I almost become another person when I go out. I turn into a much more outgoing person and the experiences related to being this different person sort of became addictive. It is hard for me to comprehend why that is. I do not think I would want to do it all the time though, so I guess that firmly plants me in the crossdresser check box. I think partly I missed out on a lot of fun activities like dancing etc when I was young due to being so shy. Funny how my Sandi personally is WAY different. So the short answer, I do it for the fun and excitement but for me , fun means I have to interact with others. Dressing up just for myself does little for me.
Sandi
I started therapy not long after the first of the year in an attempt to better understand myself and answer these questions. Probably partially due to the circumstances we're all finding ourselves in and being locked down in DADT unable to even take deliveries has slowed that process. The answers ultimately have to come from me and I spent twenty five years in an organization that shunned crossdressing as a perversion so I have a lot of that to unpack first. I started going to therapy in an attempt to answer those questions but have to unpack all the cult baggage and guilt first before I can understand my crossdressing and gender issues. It's a process that can take years and each person is different.
Since starting back into crossdressing a few years ago, even with the help of a therapist & my wife, I can honestly say I really don't know... I am comfortable being male, but part of me want's what's on the other side. But like JennyMay said above, I am resigned to it.
I'm going with #1, I love being a male but do enjoy this strong femine side. Sometimes it just feels so nice to escape your male self and just dress and relax. I do definitely love the feel of women's cloth, I underdress everyday.
It?s a bit of both. I like being a guy, shlepping around without a care for what I look like. It?s the mode for taking care of the ordinary parts of life. But, then Julie is tons of fun, outgoing with all kinds of energy to do interesting things and talk to anyone who will listen. As you can imagine she is quite exhausting, and it?s good to have time to recover.
2
I was never, and still am not comfortable as a male.
When I'm dressed as a woman, it just feels right.
I definitely fall under the #1 description. I get some pleasure or satisfaction out of dressing up. Come the day I go out of the house, it will still be for the same reasons. I don't doubt I would act like a different person, since I would be dressed up (dare I say disguised?) as a different person. They say "clothes makes the 'person.'"
You can put me down as #2.
"male" has never been a comfortable fit for me - but I've learned to deal with it.
Interesting thread, I am in the #1 group but I can see how some of us naturally progress from thinking 1 and then going to 2.
If someone asked me years ago I would have said I was a 2
I am comfortable as a male and never thought I was anything else. However, there are times when I wish I could experience being female. Obviously, except in the movies, this cannot and will not happen. I suppose the next best thing is dressing as a female, including the breasts, hips and hair.
Going out in public as a female enhances this experience although I am always conscious of the fact that I am not actually female.
Yeah, this is also one of my most fabulous experiences. I'm sociable (although not driven to be social) so I always enjoy conversations with absolute strangers when Carla gets out. All the time would have to include everything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandi Beech
Like going to the dentist. Or other things that just flow easier in original genetic format.
Thank's for adding that in, Sherry. I know exactly what you mean.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Attachment 318528Attachment 318529
Definitely more 2 than 1.
Honestly, it?s a bit of both for me.
Male presentation is what I?ve always done, so I?m generally quite comfortable there. When I have had a recent opportunity to dress, even more so. However, once a month or so has passed, the wish becomes want, want becomes need, then need becomes an undeniable force that infiltrates everything I do. I feel resentful of every scrap of male-intended clothing, every healthy hair follicle lower than my eyes becomes an affront, and the fact that not a single ounce of extra weight that hasn?t opted to provide me with some kind of curve in the back is just exasperating. Then I get a chance to scratch the itch, (yes Doc, that one too) and the whole process reboots.
#2 fits me best.
I was never fully at ease being male, always felt a bit "off" and never comfortable doing all those boy things.
I always felt I was acting, trying to be what I thought people expected. I have always been more sure of myself as a woman.
I love when I can immerse myself in Tiffany time. I think about it often and in these lock down days in a DADT situation with my wife I don't get to dress enough. That being said, I am quite comfortable in my male self which is nearly all the time right now.
#2 for sure....I am constantly trying to be closer to being feminine as that is how I was raised. :battingeyelashes:
It really wasn't till I was in the Navy, did I really know what it was like to be masculine.
The comfort does goes away when having to be a husband, but I do it as not to be selfish....and I can cheat.
I can get away with a lot of feminine thing in male mode as I conditioned my spouse to perceive these things in a neutral light. :hypnotized:
I continue to broaden my spouses acceptance and understanding on this mellow and caring husband and when finished, if I live long enough....
....I can be laid to rest in a rose colored casket in a chiffon ballgown, painted toes and fingers holding my white communion rosary, a white pearl necklace/bracelette, and a glittering pair of open toed high heel pumps! :heehee:
I think my "tag line" explains me as best as I can. I really like my time dressing up but I am very comfortable where I am on a daily basis. So, on the theoretical spectrum, I am firmly planted with a foot in both worlds and with no plans to change.
I love what Sandi said although I tended to be shy even when I was going out. I know I also missed out on a lot of things because of that. Saying all that, I'm firmly in #1, and halfway into #2, as I don't tend to feel uncomfortable presenting male. In fact, I have learned to enjoy my male presentation even more because of my crossdressing :)
Definitely #1 here. It’s interesting but I recently saw the classic movie “Saturday Night Fever” and I couldn’t help but see similarities to my crossdressing. Tony Manero (John Travolta) works all week then starts to plan for the weekend; the clothes, the moves, ...the whole new different persona!
I similarly look forward to dressing up as sexy as I can, getting ready, and transforming into a much more outgoing playful female version of myself. Very similar to Sandi Beech (love you girl!), I also enjoy going out to clubs and meeting people and dancing. And then when it’s over, I’m more than happy to remove the wig, make up, nails, etc and jump into my much more comfy men’s clothing. Happy as a male during the week and happy as a female on the weekends!
Thanks Carla, great post.
I would say I'm in between both right now. I like to crossdress because it's allowed me to have fun new experiences and also it helps me in rediscovering joy in known experiences. I gotta admit, lately it's feeling that it's more than just crossdressing. I like my boy mode but I'm loving all these other aspects of life that I'm discovering while in girl mode. I used to think crossdressing was a tool or a means to access those things temporarily but now I feel like those things are always with me and I just have to let them happen. I do admit going back into boy mode feels like the fun is over, but I'm trying to slowly let things from my girl life bleed into my boy life and the other way around. Having a double life is exhausting and I'm not getting any younger :P
I am quite comfortable on the male side of the spectrum. I?m also becoming more comfortable on the feminine side. I, however, would be extremely miserable if I had to be exclusively on one side or the other. I started off as a very sensitive kid. Obviously, that can be translated as ?Target?. As I?ve grown older, I?ve become very jaded and hard. This can be beneficial in many circumstances, but honestly, isn?t much fun. Combined with my (male) appearance, the result is an incredibly rare smile. Meeshell brings out a warm, happy, and sensitive side that has been long buried, and brings out a smile that I never knew I had. I may be selfish, but I want both.
Hugs
Meeshell
P.S. I sometimes turn myself on also ;-)
I am firmly in category #1. I love the creative transformation to Danielle including all the preparation such as body shaving, applying false nails etc. but I am very comfortable returning to my male mode which I live in more than 99% of the time.
Hi Carla,
I am guessing I fall somewhere in between a 1 and a 2. I love the artful creativity crossdressing brings. As an artist it allows me to expand my creative side outside of the woodshop. While I?m comfortable with my male side I always felt I never quite fit in with ?the guys? and I have always been more comfortable around women.
hello Carla,
for me it is about the clothes - I am a man in a dress. I am never going to look feminine if I am honest.
But perhaps the world is not as binary as your two options. That does not matter as long as we find our true self.
stay healhty,
luv J
I pick door number 1.
I am quite comfortable being a boy, but I just love being a girl from time to time. Girls have so many different choices in clothing, style and colors and everything. Plus they get to accessorize with earrings, bracelets and necklaces. Since most of my hair disappeared 10 to 20 years ago, so I have no choice but to wear a wig. But, I have several wigs of different lengths, colors and wavy, plus I get to accessorize with various scrunchies and hair clips.
I think I have accepted that I am stuck presenting as male, so much of my life is based around it. But I will always feel better dressed, that is were my head is. It just does not fit in with the life I have chosen and mostly enjoy.
There was a time that I had myself convinced that it was about being a woman but came to the realization that it was really about something else that only superficially resembled "being a woman." I liken my infatuation with the idea of being a woman to my infatuations with certain girls when I was younger. I would see some girl I found attractive. She would fire my imagination and I would convince myself I was in love with her. We would be happy forever after, blah, blah, blah. Then if we should happen to get together and got to know each other I would lose interest after a short while. It wasn't love at all, it was just lust. The difference is that I don't feel lust for my so-called female self. What happens is that imagining myself as a woman or some reasonable facsimile allows me to cast off the shackles of masculinity for a little while. Since a lot of my anxieties about about being a male and masculinity revolve around sex, the idea of being "feminine" allows me to be sexual in an uninhibited way. So it's just lust.
I crossdress for fun and enjoyment . I love my feminine side much better and dress often by myself.
These days I am more comfortable presenting as a female.
I do have to present as a male to work and earn money.
That is becoming a bit of a drudge.
Sums me up exactly as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by GracieRose
I'd say it's both for me! I love to be able to express my feminine side, and can spend hours in Jill's closet trying on any number of outfits. Women's fashions allow for so many more colors and textures in our clothing options. On the other hand while I'm comfortable in my male role and pursue many manly hobbies, I do find my self at parties wishing to be included in the ladies conversation than the men's especially when the topic of conversation turn to topics such as cars or politics etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaWestin
Isn?t this just basically the difference between Crossdressers and Trans?
With me it's a bit of both really.
When I was younger I would have leaned more towards #1 and always strove to emulate the female form as much as possible using make up (which I never do now) and never wore any male clothes with female clothes; it was all or nothing. I always felt sad returning to my male self which I didn't like too much. I felt out of place as a male and for years wanted to become a woman.
Fast forward to now and I am happy with my male self and would be considered a snappy dresser as a man. I always fly under the radar when out and about but always dress in as many female items of clothing that I can get away with. I am married so do have to think of my wife's feelings in all this.
Today for instance, I woke up wearing a cotton nightie and panties. I got up after my Wife left for work (I work from home currently), had a shower and got dressed in a conservative maid's outfit and spent most of the day doing housework. I had to go out earlier so I changed into jeans, a top and boots am now back at the computer. I will get changed later into joggers and a t shirt to relax at home.
The only male item of clothing I wore today was the coat I wore when I went out.
I need all the sensory feedback from attire, wig, etc., that tells me that I'm female. Visual, tactile, smell, the whole nine yards, to overcome the GID. I only feel 'normal' when dressed as a female. Otherwise, there's always this underlying feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes.
The best analogy I can give you, is, think about going to a formal event. Everyone else there is in a tux or an evening gown; but you're in a bathing suit. Doesn't matter if it's gender appropriate bathing suits, you'll always feel that you're in the wrong clothes. It's like an itch that I can't scratch, I can only get rid of it by dressing like a girl.
Perhaps the odd thing is that I'm not actually transgendered; I don't see the world the way women to, don't communicate like they do, have no interest in children, no nesting behaviors, no strong desire for constantly talking about relationships, none of those things. And I have no desire to go out of the house, dressed and behaving to emulate a female.
And there's no sexual component to this, either, though for a long while once puberty hit, I thought there was simply because I was just horny all the time (dressed as a guy, naked, dressed as a girl, in a Halloween costume, didn't matter), no matter what I was wearing (puberty and the testosterone effects). That made for years of confusion.