Feeling normal

Back around the beginning of December, I decided to start under-dressing or wear androgynous femme clothing as a regular thing -- at least during the work week. The constraint was because my wife and I are both working from home, and she doesn't like the fact that I am a CD. Various things interrupted -- a family emergency out of town & a flooded basement at home -- but last week I did it five days in a row, and by Friday, putting on a bra and a panty felt pretty normal -- none of the rush of excitement that has generally come with crossdressing. It was kind of a milestone for me, as one of my fantasies has been getting to the point that it feels normal, and I'm wondering: do those of you who are living as women full-time find that it's no longer a question of satisfying some sexual desire but just . . . normal?

Nancy,

I'm not full time, nowhere near, but yes I know that feeling. The sexual side of it faded away years ago and now it's a case of I'm just putting on clothes, but nicer ones.

Yes is the simple answer.

Not only that but it all flips.

It becomes life, everyone expects it. So I can't leave the house without makeup, I might run into one of my friends, and than there are all the SAs at the stores. Like I said life.

What's "sexual desire"? lol What ever I wear for an extended time becomes the new normal... I have done a week enfemme but don't think I could go full time... The amount of work to look good is exhausting!! In a normal kind of way....

Somehow I skipped the whole 'sexual desire' part. But I was dressing way before puberty for some odd reason, so there is only ever an emotional thrill, if you want to call it that even.

Androgynous does absolutely nothing for me. If Stephanie beckons to come forth then it is going to be "all the way;" dress, hosiery, heels, bra, panty, slip, and wig. I have had the opportunity to be en femme 24/7 for seven to ten days in a row while my wife was visiting her out of state relatives. It seemed perfectly normal to pick up a dress for the day. No sexual aspect to it at all. Back in my teens it was a different thing, but, then a teenage boy in his teens.....well, what else is there to do???

Because I read so many ventures of under dressing on this site I did try it for a while. I wore a bra, camisole, panty and hosiery (thigh highs with a garter girdle or pantyhose). I actually forgot I was under dressing and got nothing out of it other than it was a pain to use the rest rooms when out.

Dressing rarely gives me a sexual thrill... hasn't for a long time. I just fulfills a need in the moment. Kind of like if I feel like its the striped button-down shirt and sport coat kind of day or the flowery panties and blue dress day ... although the latter urge is a little harder to pull off at will.

I been underdressing for 10 months mostly bra panties it feels normal. If I have to go somewhere I can't wear a bra I put it on as soon as I get home.

Nancy,
It has to become normal but that doesn't mean sex of some form is being ignored but dressing has much less to do with it .

I will add normal doesn't mean it becomes boring as it is part of my way of life now , I'm very happy with the life it's given me , I've found I've lost very little and gained so much .

Jean,
You make a very good point , people come to expect it and would possibly be disappointed if I reversed roles again , in fact I've been told that they prefer me as Teresa .

Karen,
It depends how bad your dysphoria is , so to me it isn't exhausting , OK I totally shave everyday and apply makeup everyday but you don't have to go OTT , the trick is how little rather than too much .

Anything you do for an extended time will begin to feel normal. It feels normal to me now to have long hair (in reality, a wig), breasts (in reality, silicone forms) and hips (in reality, foam rubber).

It's a pleasant "normal" though.

I started underdressing 8 years ago and have gradually replaced my male clothes for female clothes and I would estimate that my wardrobe is approx 90% female,all carefully chosen to blend in and appear as male.

It does become quite normal eventually and just before Christmas last year I decided one day out of the blue to dress fully in some of the male clothes I have left and it felt as the clothes belonged to someone else and didn't feel right. I quickly changed back into my "normal" clothes which felt much better.

I don't get as much of a sexual thrill from dressing as I did when I started but I still dress as much as I can so I guess it goes deeper than that.

I agree, Nancy, that whatever expression you find is comfortable will quickly become your normal. The sexual stimulation that comes with that at first fades away as your brain adjusts and becomes comfortable with the expression of a different identity. But be forewarned, if you make a significant change in your expression and move more toward stereotypical female the sexual aspect is likely to appear to some extent. At least until you get as old as me and sexual stimulation is nothing more than a brief flicker. :eek: DON'T GET OLD!

I under dress almost daily now and it no longer has any sexual issues, but i still love the feeling of stockings on bare legs her's or mine

I underdress daily and still get a thrill from looking at my shaved self in front of the mirror when wearing panties. Sometimes all it takes is one quick glance in the mirror at my face and catching a glimpse of any features like my plucked eyebrows that I think of as feminine.

Are any of you saying that you no longer feel anything sexual on hormones? They are said to kill the sex drive so that would be a factor as well.

I am just asking all the questions I can think of on these more serious topics and trying to make sense of me.

Star,
I'm not on hormones , despite that they do affect people in different ways , I wouldn't go on them to change the sexual aspect . On a daily basis I'm not convinced they would make a big difference to my everyday life , they aren't a magic pill that changes everything .

For me presenting as a woman is more normal than presenting male.

Isn't it amazing when given the chance to dress for a several days in row it feels so normal. It gets to the point where it's like my girly clothes just become.... just clothes.

It’s been normal for me for some time now. More normal than drab clothing. I still love looking in the mirror and seeing a woman looking back at me. I love the fact that it just feels normal. Because it is.

Hi, Nancy! I am 24/7/365 living as the woman I am! It has not been sexual for a while! Normal-what is normal? I shop for groceries, go to the pharmacy, put gas in the car, and go to work! I do it all as a woman! I have no male clothes-female only but they are my clothes! I am out to everyone and have had no problems here in the bathroom state! By the way, I started out underdressing and progressed from there! YMMV Hugs Lana Mae

My days of getting aroused throwing on nylons, a bra and forms r long gone! I dress to the 9's or don't bother!:battingeyelashes:
However, I'm a CD so I don't need to dress all the time!:thumbsup:

When I do dress, however? Being turned on often follows!:o

And, that's at age 77 after dressing for 23+ years!:heehee:

The sexual desire and crossdressing left me an awful long time ago now and if I am truthful I think it was never truly sexual desire for me, just my way of making an excuse about enjoying to dress as I did.

Now, it feels very normal for me, but I still love the feeling I get from being dressed nice, I dress most days and am lucky enough to be able to spend my days dressed, I guess what it is, is my normal, but I still love the feeling of dressing

Nancy, the sexual portion of dressing faded for me year ago. At this point it is more about feeling natural and relaxed.

I've been dressing since a very young age and without question it started as sexual and exciting. Over the years with family and all, things calm down but that desire is always there as when going into a department store I love going to the women's section and looking at things that are pretty from dresses to lingerie. Heels are always the problem though as for my height of 6'2" I don't really have big feet, size 11 women's. I'm married and she hasn't a clue but has let me know how much she hates "cross dressers" so I have to deal with that as many do. What I find interesting here is that we are all biologically men who love to dress and be fem but so many have no sexual desires they say when dressed. In my opinion, men never loose that desire as can be seen on many sites on the internet where there are very old men still sexually active. Women on the other hand do totally lose that sexual desire at a certain age but do continue to dress nicely. For me getting older, I still love the thrill of putting on my lingerie, garters, stockings, doing my makeup and seeing the transition in the mirror of me becoming a women. Putting on my makeup and wig is the final touch and at that time I do find that I'm aroused. Hopefully I'm doing this for a date but if not I'll have a drink and go out and hope men find me attractive and women admire what I'm wearing. I don't do it just for the sexual desires as I do love just being a woman, but underneath there is that male libido that lurks. It's always fun seeing how people react as even if in low heels I'm tall. So I do love being a gurl or girl and don't always have sexual desires when dressed but then why dress to be attractive as it's quite easy to dress like an old hag too. Bottom line is I love dressing in every aspect and have found men to like me as a girl and that's most gratifying every way and yes I mean every way.

I underdress every day and it feels so natural to me. I too love feeling like a women even if is under my clothes. I dress because for me it?s who I am. I?m so relaxed and stress free. Thank you for sharing.

Frankly I do not want dressing to be my normal. I want it to stay special.
When I dress I always go all the way. I do not have daily wear women's clothes, I have really nice dresses and shoes. (My opinion).

I am considering getting some leggings to wear under really short dresses.

My focus is to improve my makeup skills. I will hire a makeup artist do come to my home and show me. Or I will go to the Ulta store for a makeup session.

I spoke to my wife in bed this morning. I told about the closet I am using for my clothes, (she knew already, but has not looked). I told her about my favorite dress, how I think I look in it, how it makes me feel.
She told me that even though all that I could never totally pass as a woman. I do know that but I told her my desire to got out some night with about 5 women friends for dinner and drinks. I might blend in better in a group.
And in this day and age, who cares! Nobody cares. Really if we dress and go out so what. Has anyone here on this site been harassed while out?

I got off on a tangent but I still want my dressing to be a special day. I love it too much to become normal.

Natalie

I completely know what you mean. I underdressed for years. Before I got married, I took the proverbial leap of faith and told my wife. She already suspected and accepted and supported me. I?m now retired and dress daily and I both love it and it does feel so natural and normal. She?s been so helpful with advice like makeup. I daily enjoy the daily question...oh what to wear, what color bra, panties, etc. when she shops, she often surprises me. She teases me about my special love of underwire bras and hose.