I pulled up some crossdresser stories .... On the internet. the vast majority of these stories are full of male on male
Sex. And we wonder why people associate crossdressing and being gay. I felt bad about crossdressing when I say the sex
As being the reoccurring subject.
Try it ... Go to Google and search under crossdress story .
Sadness
That's to thank to the very common misconceptions and notions about all this, such as "He dresses like a woman to attract men" or the cavemen-esque "WTH?! Not manly? You gay?", among much more nonsense.
Sometimes no matter if you present facts to some of the ones who perpetuate that, they may still spew them whenever the topic is mentioned, at least that's what I have seen in my experience.
Those stories are all written by middle aged (or older) men who still subscribe to anticuated notions about sexuality and gender. Specifically, that if a man dressed as a woman he was diminishing his standing in society (because misogyny and stuff) and, therefore, could only be motivated by some kind of deviant sexual desire.
Fortunately, it's 2021 and humanity is understanding that gender identity and sexuality can be independent of each other. The most masculine man can be gay and the most delicate, feminine crossdresser can be straight, bi, gay, or whatever he/she/they/them want to be.
“Crossdressing” had different connotations within different communities. The gay community usually uses the term to refer specifically to men who dress as women for sexual pleasure, wether that be with a man or a woman.
Fantasies are just that fantasies
In 1967 when I was just 12/13 I found one of those plain brown paper covered novels that contained vivid graphic descriptions of extreme sex between cis males and crosssdressers. Stuff I couldn't have imagined by myself. I've never recovered. It took me along time to figure out that I'm not gay but not really straight either. But, I don't care if people think I am. And I don't care what the "gay community" thinks about it either.
I dont know , we read plenty of wishing about that here . Folks that DO do that . My ex husband preferred married men and he had no shortage of chasers same with several CD friends of his . CL ads are full of them - his favorite look up besides FB CD hook up groups . Certainly not everyone , but It's not unheard of .
we are painted with a broad brush,
some of us find we evolve as we more fully accept that the norms are not all things to all folks who wear the threads of the opposite gender.
your tag says playing dress up, true for some....not so much for others, maybe not true for you some day, its growth, self acceptance, and yes their are plenty of admirers out there to tempt anyone who is unsure of where they stand.....and as someone pointed out.....just fantasy that when push comes to shove one may realize its not really theyre cup of tea.
i find that when you replace transgender for crossdresser the web responds with more favorable results in most cases....
If there's an offer there is a demand, but you can't draw conclusions if you don't know who's reading these stories. Litterature aside, for some self-advertised heterosexual crossdressers, male adventures seem to be an ultimate form of living a female experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jocelyn Rose
I tend to agree with that.
I didn't bother to search these "crossdresser stories" mentioned in the OP, but I believe I'm familiar with the type, having read a few way back when.
Could be wrong, but I'd guess that many of these are written by those who feel that they *may* want to act on this stuff in real-life, but for whatever reason(s) actually never go through with it. Whether it be their marital status, or personal moral code, or lack of opportunity, etc. Heck, maybe they're just too chicken -- or even afraid they'd like it too much? :heehee:
In fact, they might actually prefer living in their head, versus their real-life... They may even (psychologically?) "get off" on writing these fictional stories. Plus, they get to control the entire narrative, and may simply let their imagination run wild.
So, this is their outlet, so to speak.
Hey, whatever. Free country, eh? I ain't gonna tell them what they can & can't write. Particularly when it comes to fantasy.
That being said... :devil:
I don't know the official stats, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that CD'ers, as a whole, compared to their non-CD'ing counterparts, *may* be a bit more likely to be gay/bi, or have "experimented" in the past, or are simply bi-curious. And obviously that's not saying that, "Well, just found out my husband is a crossdresser. Must mean he likes men! :sad:"
But, it's probably impossible to ever figure out any accurate stats, given the nature of all this. What constitutes a thought/feeling? What constitutes an experience? Are all men (CD'er or otherwise) likely to be honest, even with themselves, regarding this subject in a survey? And what exactly *is* the definition of a crossdresser, anyway...? Do they have to dress up from head-to-toe at least once a week & give themselves a female name? Or, could it just be some guy who self-pleasures once in a blue moon while wearing some panties & hose? :strugglin
As an aside: I feel I have enough past experience in the social scene of the gay community, to say that the average person would probably be quite surprised to learn that gay males come in all shapes & sizes -- and wouldn't be able to pick them out in a police line-up, so to speak.
Anyway, you may read about actual encounters with men even here. But I don't believe our real-life experiences are exactly typical in the world of CD'ing, in its entirety.
There is crossdressing erotica going back to the Victorian era. Until around the late 1960s it was almost exclusively heterosexual, and a majority of it after that until the internet became popular was straight oriented. Make of that what one will. Possibly those who are gay and into crossdressing for erotic reasons are more vocal online?
If It was on the Internet , It must be True, ROTF,:roflmao: LMAO
Yes, the perils of assuming that what you see on the internet is automatically representative of a community as a whole.... :sigh: Some people see things on social media and just automatically accept them as fact.
For example, many people have claimed Abraham Lincoln stated that you shouldn't trust everything you read on the internet. This is of course absurd....
....coz it was actually Charles Dickens who said it.... :heehee:
JC,
We all know they exist but my concern was when I came out to my wife and family any search they did would bring up stories and mages like you describe . The old adage of you're innocent until proved guilty is is so hard to disprove when images and text are so readliy available , I'm not gay but the now I have to prove it .
The other point to consider is many of the images are staged because they are part of big business as is erotic literature otherwise we wouldn't see much of it .
On the one hand we can only say " Live and let live !" but on the other our lives could be affected by being tarred with the same brush .
My wife and I would read local personal ads. So many cd looking for other cd or men for sex. A rare cd looking for female for makeup tips. And only one cd looking for female for sex. And I've seen stories like described. I thought I was a only straight cd.
JC, I'm not big on online stories, so I don't give a lot of stock in the stories being representative of "all" crossdressers. Truly, I'm at the point in my life that I don't care what others think about my crossdressing.
In all fairness, an open CD trying to find a GG in the personal ads would almost certainly get 0 responses, and personal ads were not cheap back then. Given it was almost certainly going to be futile, most straight CDs would not have even considered it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulie Birmingham
Generalizing a bit? Some CDs are hetero and some are homosexual. Maybe we're all bi? I am and I love getting attention from men while crossdressed!
I first ran across CD sex stories in girly magazines in the 70s. I found them exciting and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I keep saying it: We're all different, unique. We have some things in common yet we divide into a few factions. It's all good IMO.
Consider the source of any information on the interweb. Be it news networks, or lurid sex tales. Some are exercising their own fantasies, writing for an echo chamber, or trying to get advertising dollars. None of these sources care if the information is true.
I began my extensive research on erotic stories and photos in the late 60s and continue with some regularity to the present day. I try to be sex positive as it is a normal part of being human and I believe that erotic materials have their place for those who are open to it.
Craigslist dropped their hookup section several years ago out of concerns of liability. The free site of choice now is called doublelist and is similar. The number of CDs looking for hookups and those looking for them is a popular theme on those sites. One would think by the number of posts looking for those things that all crossdressers are of that mindset.
Chasing on those sites can be a dead end to nowhere regardless of what a person is looking for. Women often say that all men are pigs and I think there is some truth that based on their behavior on hookup sites.
No offense to anyone who uses them but the people advertising are generally not looking for committed relationships. You get what you pay for as the old saying goes and they?re free sites so.....
Your observation is accurate, but I would caution that fiction is... well, fiction. It absolutely does not reflect reality in the vast majority of cases.
If you have to write about it, you're not doing it!
All I know is in my circle of cross dressing male friends, it is a mixed bag but everyone respects each other.
My friends will ask if I am gay or hetero and I let them know I a hetero, they respect my space even if they have feeling for me.
Others will tell me they are also hetero or they will not say anything. I usually don't ask and just kind of know...but I dont really care either.
Some of the nicest feminine friends are gay and so respectful, and they do not push their desires on me, as much as they may want to.
And a lot of them have younger sisters who accept their older sibling and join them at our G2G's!
Those special female siblings are so curious and fun to be with...they themselves seem to have an attraction to those of us who are heterosexual with a femme side....
...well, it's nice to meet girls who normally would never give me the time of day as a guy, want to know all about me as Candice.
Yes, it is true that a high percentage of crossdressers state that they are heterosexual. However, keep in mind that majority of crossdressers do not get fully done up with make up, wig and shaping enhancements. Add to that most crossdressers do not venture out of their house.
When I first started socializing amongst the local crossdressing community (and I do not mean the internet), I took the much talked about high heterosexual percentage to mind and found that it was not really the case for those socializing in full crossdressed mode out in the real world. I bet that there were far more crossdressers claiming to be heterosexual that aggressively hit on me than those that are actually truthful with their sexuality. Probably quite even in numbers with the men that aggressively hit on me! My preference in socializing amongst other crossdressers is somewhat like a hobby group situation or as hanging out with good buddies rather than the sexual intentions.
Nowadays, I take the mindset that the crossdressed individual may most likely be bisexual than heterosexual and be prepared to handle the possible situation of needing to give a rejection.
The first story I found was about a young boy and his twin sister who started crossdressing and his mom and sister accepted him and had a great time! Of coarse I do not use Google for anything. Duck Duck Go! Does not invade your life like Google does.
But I know what you mean.. turn off safe search and search for images of cross dressers. Leave safe search on and you get great photos of lovely ones... off... porn... all depends on what you want to see!
Maybe you should turn your safe search to strict? Then you will not ever see what you do not want to see? Then you won?t be so sad....
I don't crossdress. I wear clothes that I like.
Hey, I would love to write lots of sex escapade stories about having sex with women. Sadly, I can't find a whole lot of them (I have yet to find even ONE in real life) who want to have sex with crossdressers (kind of like unicorns; I've heard and read about them, but have never actually seen one). So if you want more heterosexual crossdresser sex stories, you'll have to go out and preach to the straight females about how wonderful we are, maybe set up a 'Meet and date a crossdresser' kiosk at some 'all female' schools. But I don't think anything we do, will change what most straight women find to be a huge sexual turn off for them.
For me. My cross dressing grew out of a desire to physically manifest the feminine feelings I had when I was with a man or talking with a man online. Even though it was a bud before that. It didn?t flower until I accepted that I was bi. In my experience the CDs who advertise in personals are looking for that feminine validation or escape from their male role. The stories are part of that too. Of course I generalize so it is probably not true for all. But in the end it is all just a fantasy looking for fulfillment.
Greek and Roman mythology gives us the tale of Hercules and Omphale, in which Hercules allows himself to be sold into slavery to an Asian barbarian queen for 3 years to atone for murdering his friend, during which time the queen seduces him, and makes him crossdress constantly and do household chores and spin wool, while she walks around in his tough guy clothes and dominates him.
Eventually they marry.
Unfortunately, it's true that most "crossdressing" or "TG" stories are just thinly disguised MM porn. But if you're persistent enough you can find some good stories. You've got to be very persistent though.
I don't know about books but I do know about the real world.
They are BI, like me. In addition I'm TG. Most of my boyfriend's are BI men.
The internet is about making money. So if there's money to be made it'll be there, pretty much that simple. Like those annoying pop-up ads.
It's obvious that there is no absolute correlation between how we dress and sexual orientation. I think it is interesting, though, that getting fully dressed up and going out goes hand in hand with really feeling like a woman. I wonder how many who fit that description have accepted physical contact/attention from a man, while not feeling drawn to it in any way when not dressed.
All but one of the CDs I have met are bi. Let's not kid ourselves here, get talking to pretty much any CD and you will find they are willing to blur the lines for another CD or man (while still maintaining that they are straight.) Now I'm only basing this on those who venture out obviously and am not commenting on those who get all their kicks from the clothing itself. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
As someone who writes erotic fiction, I can tell you that the offerings out there are as varied as the authors, each story has it's own life and many writers a specific specialty, you can find whatever you are looking for. Please don't judge all writers by the limited sample you have seen. Most of my stories focus on transition because that is something I deal with on a daily basis and some of my writing is an attempt to deal with the confusion and frustration of not being able to go where I really feel I want to go, some of it is just because I think it would be a good story.
Perhaps the writers you sampled are in the same boat, exploring aspects of their lives that they need to better understand or maybe they just think it's hot and their existing fans and followers encourage them to keep doing what they are doing.
Having said that, I have also written some very well received science fiction that includes some pretty hot sex between a human female and a blue alien, so there is that, as well as some 'generic' hetero romantic erotica.
My point is, If you are looking for CD romance that includes hetero sex, it is out there, please keep looking, I'm sure the authors would love to hear your feedback on their work.
Like ShelbyDawn, I also write erotic fiction. Some of my stories are about cross dressers, some aren’t. Some of my stories have male with male sex, some don’t. As someone mentioned most are fantasies with some autobiographical portions, some are pure fantasy. I am fairly certain that the woman who wrote 50 Shades of Grey was moving her fantasies from her mind to a computer and eventually to paper. I am willing to bet that the overwhelming majority of the people who read that gave never participated in BDSM relationship.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day as does whatever makes them happy and works in their personal situation as long as it is consensual adults.
I think your "sadness" comment at the end is a bit harsh. Yes, there is a lot of crossdresser and man erotica out there, whether it is stories, pictures, or videos. I personally enjoy those when I'm in the mood for that media. In addition to that, I have posted stories myself on a few sites that were merely recollections of my own experiences in real life that I thought others might enjoy or be inspired by to go and take a chance with exploring something they're curious about.
I say be the force for change you are looking for. While you alone may not be able to forever erase the stereotype of the gay crossdresser, you can be one more person out there creating content about how a man and a woman can enjoy this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelaYVR
Make that two. Dressed or otherwise, I've no desire to interact sexually with another man. My attractions and fantasies including when dressed are for women.
I do understand what you mean, however, in that boundaries are more blurred for others.
Being a chick with a dick for an attractive bisexual woman I admit appeals. :D
I enjoy reading erotica on the 'net. I do look for CD stories, but finding a heterosexual story where the wife is a loving participant is very rare. If it is a hetro story it usually involves femdom, where the woman humiliates the CD'er. Other than that the rest at all homosexual. My estimation is about 75% gay, 24.9% femdom, and .1% hetrosexual.
I find the Nifty archive an interesting mix of stories.
JC honestly, I don't wonder why people associate CD'ing to being gay..... That's just the stupid stereotype of the majority of society. Also, I wouldn't put much stock into the bull that you read online of other people's opinions on crossdressers. People are going to be judgemental, they're going to hate and well, no one can really stop that although I do wish all hatred would stop.Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Now me, I am a heterosexual CD'er and 100% attracted to GG's..... I have, on more than one ocassion especially online, said that an article of clothing does NOT determine one's sexual orientation, we determine that ourselves. Just because we're CD'ers does not mean that we're homosexual, bisexual or transgender. So yeah, I wouldn't believe all of the bullcrap that I read online. LOL
Now, I love to dress and present as a woman from time to time in public becuase I have a very strong feminine side..... Again, it doesn't mean that I'm gay. Perhaps I was born with a feminine side and maybe with some estrogen in me? I honestly don't know, but I embrace my femininity and I love to be feminine.
JC, I've done that and completely agree with you here. It's incredibly sad that this misconception still remains to this day. More proper education about Crossdressing need to be done it would seem.Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
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Agreed Kimberly. The same goes for me and i'm guessing for most of us on here as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly A.
It is apparent that many here profess to be gay, bi, curious, or what ever so the professions that the majority of CD's are heterosexual is dead wrong if the forum represents the CD populationQuote:
Originally Posted by ShirleyN
Just so you know, I just read a lovely story on literotica.com about a wife fully accepting her CD husband; the sex was kinda hot, too. You can find whatever you look for.
For me - AGE does it
I knew a guy who had a regular family and at the age of 65 "suddenly" realized he was gay (although he never had these feeling when he was younger).
As a young (3-50 years of age) CDer, I was never interested in guys, but after decades of enjoying women (and I might add my interest isn't a high anymore), I often wonder if satisfying a male would be easier than trying to maintain solidity.
Who knows, 1 day I might find out, or maybe not, maybe Viagra will become important instead.
I am a totally heterosexual Male who likes the feel of woman's clothes.
I have written two erotica short stories but have not published them. I have given it to less then 10 people. Those readers have requested more.
I have not tried to write a Heterosexual CDer story. I have plenty of research material in the form of how I live day to day. The challange is how to make it interesting enough for strangers to want to read the story. Questions that need to be addressed are like "why does that het-CD even dress?". I can see the whole story, but not enough to carry the story. The CDing would just have to be a side quirk of that character.
I do not see, anywhere in the future, anything that will remove the link between CDing and perceived sex orientation.
As long as the media continues to use their present concepts it will never change.
There are lots of heterosexual stories. There are more bisexual or homosexual stories. You just have to look for them.
fictionmania . tv has stories and you can search under keyword for heterosexual. Some also include bisexual (why?) so just ignore those, but you'll have more to look through. Also check Emily Masters.
This an open forum and not closed yet, thus I will give my two cents. Its the internet aka wild wild west. 1st amendment at least in the USA. Like the TV, change the channel etc. I suppose a man who dresses, lip stick etc and makes love to his GG all while dressed is a Heterosexual OR lip stick being gay for his GG.....Reading is healthy and keeps the neurons firing whether its War and Peace to fictional stories on Cdrs or non fictional CD stories lol.Quote:
Try it ... Go to Google and search under cross-dress story, Sadness
Life is short enjoy and be safe.
Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
" if I'm not the one doing it - why should I care ?"
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