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Every morning before I wake up. I am thinking of being a woman, dressed as a woman. I have no control over it.
I even think subconsciously how I would live if I lived alone. Would I just start converting to a woman? Would I move away and start a new life as Natalie? Change my name and go through the process?
I could if I had to. This is the first time I said these things out loud.
Interesting. I guess there will be time whether or not this path will be for you. No pressure here.
Me too, Natalie! Especially if I were younger and single. I would be on the path to femininity in a heartbeat.
This has been me for many years. I've only recently accepted that.
Before I came out to my wife it was always - When will I ever have a chance to dress again.
Now my first thoughts are what's the weather like and what will I wear today.
My first thought of the day is what color panties to wear black or heather grey.
That first step down the rabbit hole is always the biggest!:eek:
Honestly I am in the same boat as you. I fantasize about how I would get ready how my life would be, etc.
How I start the day, throughout the day and as I start to fall asleep and dream.
Hi Natalie,
Yes, that is the burning question for a lot of crossdressers. You are pretty smart and brave based on past posts I've read, so you probably already know these things, but sometimes it helps clarify our decisons when you say it out loud, write it "out loud", or say it to someone you trust.
You have to measure the benefits of being a woman with what consequences that would probably come from it. Only you and a trusted, unbiased, qualified friend or therapist can help you make a decision. It's impossible to predict everything. There will always be things you didn't anticipate, just like any thoughts pondering a project you want to do. I feel your struggle and those of others on here. It's painful. I'm sure you will find your way forward. We are all here to help where we can. Peace be with you.
Since I have been sleeping in a long nylon gown every night my first thought are to pull down the gown which has usually crept up my legs during the night.
Wow, am I in a different boat! My first thoughts are about kicking myself in gear and getting ready for work. Then I think about a hybrid of what I have to do today, and finding something to look forward to, if not today then tomorrow or the next day. It usually takes an hour or so before anything feminine enters my mind -- usually on my way to work. I guess I am truly at a hobby level.
My So and I sleep in separate rooms, partly down to her medical conditions, Sleep apnoea, snoring for England, she insists on sleeping with the windows open even in the depths of winter and as she's a duvet thief I'd wake up in the middle of the night about to get frostbite. Add to that a bad back and dodgy knees......
So most mornings having slept in a pink chemise, wireless bra and forms, I get up and put on a wired bra, a femme tee, skirt, hose, I cover up in joggers, fleece and socks and depending how brave (or stupid I feel) forms either go in my pockets of say in the bra. If I hear snoring, bra it is!
So once downstairs I spend time enfemme doing a tidy up job in the kitchen knowing that should my SO get up and start to come downstairs I can dive into the toilet and do a quick cover up. That very rarely happens so once all spick and span I make her breakfast, lose the bra, forms and tee, cover up and take it to her in bed. Once that's done I get more time enfemme before she gets up.
So, lucky me, my first thoughts most mornings are what skirt/top shall I wear today and black or nude hose?
Thoughts of transition and feminine presentation are never far away for me and are always the first conscious thoughts I have upon waking.
Some of us do not have the problem in the morning! PS: Retirement is friggin amazing!!!! Not time to work on hobbies! LolQuote:
Originally Posted by Geena75
First thought is whether to wear a dress or a blouse and skirt outfit today.
You all are way too young. First thougts are 1) will I make to the potty in time, and 2) it would be nicer to wear a skirt in the morning. A quick flip and free.
My first thoughts are about sex with wife. And what I'd like to wear while having sex with wife.
I check to see what time it is. Sometimes it's still the middle of the night and I grumble and go back to bed. If it's after 5:00, I just get up.
Next stop - checking in here.
No need to think about dressing. I'm already in a nightie and panties. That's my normal.
Yes, I do find myself wondering what I would do if I suddenly found myself alone. Would I restart transition? Would I find the courage and strength to do like Teresa and start living full time femme? Would I seek someone new who would understand and support me? Would I stay where I am and not change? I honestly don't know, and I'm not in a hurry to find out. My life is really pretty good right now, and I won't let my "what if's" ruin that.
I fantasize a bit before going to sleep sometimes, mostly just for meditative practice. If I ever do get to a 'different path' scenario, I generally conclude that at this point, I like being able to slide into Female mode sometimes, rather than live full-time en femme, but there are some weeks that are foggier than others. the foggy weeks, it feels much more like a yearning for transition, but it usually means I'm just really in need of some solitary time.
On mornings when I know I'm going to dress, I just mentally model the process of grooming, makeup, outfit, hair. Sometimes come up with a little mantra/chant to release my masculine self and emerge my female self.
As I always sleep in some sort of girl outfit, whether girl pj's or just dozing off while dressed as a girl, I wake up in the mindset that I am a girl. That quickly fades, but it's nice while it lasts.
The odd times, are when I awake from a dream that includes being a girl, which leaves me very confused until I really wake up; sometimes I just doze back off again, blissfully feeling that I'm female.
I like that. I would like to get to that place myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl T
I think about dressing so much it's CRAZY!
Today I went dress shopping, I didn't find a dress in my size crying out to me so I looked at mens clothes, wow so boring.
My thought each morning. What do I wear to make coffee.. When I finally get on what to wear. the coffee maker comes on.
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That's an awesome way to think it out.
I can relate. My wife and I went to to the mall for lunch, make-up, and shopping for something sexy for both of us. There was absolutely nothing jumping out at either of us. After striking out, we stopped at Old Navy and I quickly started losing interest....BOOOOORING!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
Not every morning .. but most mornings. I also really often catch myself in different situations through the the day thinking about what girl clothes I'd be wearing or what it would be like to be there if I were full time.
I often think about taking "Claire-vacations" where I just go somewhere ... maybe a cross-country Amtrak trip or a trans/cd convention .. and leave my boy clothes at home. Not sure I could sell that one to my wife tho.
My thought in the morning? Where are my boobs? :eek:
Hahaha! Good one Jenna!
I'm retired so the first thought is "Do I want to get up or lay here and watch tv"?
Jon