Third Attempt at Growing Long Hair

Hi

Since my early teens I've always had my hair cut short on top and shaved on the sides and back and until recently I've never give any thought to growing it long.

As a crossdresser, sometimes wearing clothes just doesn't relieve the itch enough for me and I find myself trying other things to make myself feel more feminine.

Such things include shaving my legs, removing my body hair and getting my ears pierced. I have had my nostril pierced with a tiny silver stud twice and was once even brave enough to get a navel piercing which sadly rejected. I've found myself venturing out to a beauty salon to have my toenails minxed and my eyebrows tinted and waxed and I've even had a consultation to find the right foundation colour for my skin with a Beautician.

The one thing I want more than anything else at the moment is long hair, not 'long' long but at least just below neck length. I find myself looking at womens hairstyles more and more lately and I'm now on a mission to get it long. Hopefully once I get it to just past neck length I'll be brave enough to get it styled in such a way that I can be happy when either in 'bob' mode or when dressed as my alter ego.

I've attempted growing it long twice before in the last few years but buckled when it got to the awkward stage and had it cut short but last time I had it cut I immediately regretted it.

I have a good head of thick hair but due to being in my late forties I have a lot of grey hair on the sides so as part of keeping it looking more tidy whilst growing it long I bit the bullet and dyed my hair. My choice of dye was Schwarzkopf LIVE Dusty Silver which has toned down the grey and made my hair colour a lot more even all over.

Despite being fairly shy, I can be quite thick skinned when it comes to dealing with negative comments as I know if I'm to succeed in what I wan't to achieve I have to be brave enough to brush aside those comments. Having said that, at times I do look at myself in the mirror and question my sanity, especially when my feminine side forces me to do these things.

For me I feel it's now a case of 'last chance saloon' with regards to growing my hair long as sooner or later I'm going to be too old to have it long.

Does anybody else share these feelings and have you had similar impulses?

Does anybody have any tips or advice for growing your hair long?

If you grew your hair long, where you brave enough to ask for a more feminine style and if so what did you ask for?

Thanks

Lotte

I had long hair in high school and college. That?s when I met my wife. She comments from time to time that I should grow it out again. But alas? it is thinning out enough that I don?t think it would look nice. Relegated to wigs now.

I would enjoy growing it all out again if I could. Fortunately it is culturally acceptable for men to have long hair. When I did in high school it was as much to look alternative rock singers as anything else. I had the sides and back shaved to the skin with the top down to my shoulders.

You are a lucky person to have hair. Myself, I look like a Cue Ball. So wigs are what I have to use.

As one who had past shoulder length grey hair into my late sixties, I say go for it. I finally had to give it up due to breakage and top baldness (and some of my wife's "encouragement") but I enjoyed it when I had it, and I thought it looked better when I was in a dress.

You are right about the the "last chance saloon" thing. Do it now before it's too late.

As far as comments go, I have a little story. I live near Boston, where there are an abundance of artists, eccentrics, cranks and crackpots, and an old guy with really long hair doesn't even cause a blip on the radar. But a few years ago my brother and I spent a few Days in Washington D.C. Everybody apparently works for the government. Not a non-regulation haircut in sight. I was impressed that everybody seemed very friendly and seemed to remember me if I dealt with them more than once. I also noticed a lot of people seemed to be glancing my way much more often than I was used to. It wasn't until I'd been there a couple of days that the realization hit me: "Oh my God, I'm a friggin" celebrity!" I've never experienced anything quite like it since.

But as far as comments go? Not one peep.

Hi Lotte,

I'm in my late 50s and have similar thoughts about it being my last chance to grow long hair. Luckily I take after my mother rather than my father and I think it looks good.
I bought a pair of Japanese Equinox scissors to cut off the split ends. The longest hairs now reach my mid back and I have a lot of hair below my shoulder blades.

I don't dye it, but was told at a party that if I dyed it, I'd look like I was in my 20s. Most GGs lose their thin waistline when they get older.

Now it is longer than most GGs my age.

Marion

After 40+ years of military haircuts, at age 59, I have been growing mine for a year. I love it, though my wife gives me a lot of grief. She knows I dress and does not want to give me any feminine leeway. Working from home has helped, especially in the awkward stage. Now it is longer and beginning to flow into subtle curls. I put it in a ponytail often which I just love. Brushing it has resulted in the top thinning, as hairs have been pulled out. Now I am more gentle and will just have to wait as it grows back in. My most common excuse is I am growing it out to donate to charity, which is true. I am just about to go to a stylist and will specifically ask for a womans haircut. I will bring pictures of what I like and see how it turns out. I am also getting some hair extensions to create bangs, as suggested by some ladies here, and to thicken up the front. I was born with a high hairline, large head, and high forehead. Cannot wait to get it styled and extended, and to post some pics here.

Here is one of me last week with just my natural hair

Attachment 324628

I started growing out my hair in 2015, 4 years before coming out as trans and before my transition. It never raised any suspicion. I met customers, went to conferences and delivered presentation. At one point I decided to do an undercut (see the first photo). It looked masculine when hair is tied back. However, later I regretted it as it took long time to grow the hair where it was cut short to catch up with the long hair. So you can get any feminine cut you want. You can always tie it back to not draw any attention. These days, I have my real feminine style and die my hair (the other photo).
Good luck!

There is a secret to growing long hair.
Don't cut it.

There is a commonly misheld belief that if you don't cut your hair it will grow longer and longer. This is simply not true. Hair length is a balance between the rate that it grows and the rate at which it falls out. If you don't cut your hair for a long time, at some point this balance will be reached. Once it happens, no matter what, your hair will grow no longer. For some people they may be able to grow hair that is very, very long, for others it will remain stubbornly short, and I know of one person (cis female) that hasn't had a haircut in 25 years and their hair is just below the shoulders. For many here, me included, sadly the only way to get a full head of long hair is to buy it. But, the main message that I want to get across here, is, if you can't grow long hair then don't beat yourself up over it as there's nothing you can do about it. Be happy with what you have and if needs be, buy more.

I decided to have a go at letting my hair grow. My last haircut was March 2020, after which it was 1/2" all over.
Since then it has grown very slowly, less than 1/2" per month on average.
It's never gonna look amazing like some do (Katya - your hair is awesome) as unfortunately the genetic male hair receding effect is setting-in on top.
For now it looks ok in a ponytail, with a bandana or hat, but i think it's a losing battle. Before long i may have to give in to the inevitable and get a haircut again, before it starts to look awful, but i will miss my ponytail....:sad:

Most my life I had my head buzzed. But no girl wants to be bald and I don't like the idea of a wig.

One day I decided not to cut it until I could put it in a ponytail.
Once it was that long, I didn't want to cut it.
Cue 2020 isolation. No reason to cut it.
By this summer its past middle of my back.

Now, I'm really good at braiding.
I can put it in a bun to keep it out of the way.

I recently cut it back to about shoulder length.
Its super fun having long hair but it tangles easier. (And it was HOT this summer)

Hi Charlotte,

Around two years ago I thought about growing out my hair. My last haircut was in February 2020 right before Covid hit. It was tough getting through that awkward stage but once I did there was no stopping me. Currently, my hair is shoulder length. About a month ago I had it trimmed slightly to clean up the ends. I told my hair dresser all about Robin and she's cool with it. I'm hoping the next time I go to her she can give me some ideas of how I can style my hair. In guy mode I keep it in a low ponytail, while in girl mode I wear it parted slightly off center and down, with a hair band to keep it out of my eyes.

My wife, who is tolerant of my dressing, likes me better with the short corporate look. My women friends are split between the long hair vs the short hair while my guy friends think the long hair is great. As for me, I don't see myself cutting it short any time soon.

I have had an excuse to grow my hair out. I've been working as an extra on a HBO Max series that takes place in the 70s and the first time I went to the studio for a fitting they told me not to cut my hair while the show is in production. So I haven't, alas my hair is too thin on top to look really feminine so I'm still wearing a wig when I go out dressed.

I grew my hair out several years ago it is not quite shoulder length - my grey hair is very silvery in color and I like it - my stylist cuts my hair in a feminine style at my request - my hair is thinning on top a bit but I notice this is true for many of my 70 year old cis female friends

Hi Lotte,
I grew my hair in my teens to early twenties. Got it cut because it did not fit the narrative at the time in the 80?s to get an office job. Sadly now in my late 50?s a lot has disappeared. If I grew it long again I would look like Francis Rossi from Status Quo or British comedian Bill Bailey.Alas a wig is the only alternative.

I've started growing my hair out also. I started with taking a few pictures of what I wanted, Cloe Brown's and a few others, to a stylist. First stylist kinda got things started but after the third visit, it seemed he didn't get that I wanted her hair style, not a guy's version. Found a new stylist and she's been great. I've got a stacked short Bob, that I am now trying to grow the undercut out. At an awkward stage with the front being a little past my chin, back almost below my ear and undercut about 3-4 inches. It's best to take pictures of what you want and what your finial plan is. I found a few pictures of ladies with thin hair that made it easier to imagine what I would look like with their style.

I had long hair in High School and college and wish that I could have it now.
Unfortunately that male pattern baldness is a real thing and there are too many areas that are bare these days.

As for a tip to grow it long ... Patience. Hair typically grows 1/2" per month so time is the only thing you need.

Go for it. There may be sometime in the future when you start losing your hair and will regret not giving it a shot. I recommend not dying your hair. There is nothing wrong with greying hair. My grandmother and her oldest son both died in their 80's with a full head of jet black hair. They were accused of dying their hair. It was genetics. Unfortunately, I took after the youngest son of my grandmother; blond and now with white male pattern baldness.

If you want to grow your hair out, go for it.

I've grown my hair out since the pandemic started (that's my frizzy natural hair in my avatar). It's super convenient for quick dressing sessions and posed photos, and I love that it's all me, but I'm not throwing out my wigs anytime soon. While I'm not bald in back yet, the hair is definitely thinner and wispier back there, and it's hard to style convincingly.

Thanks for all the replies so far, some good advice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Krea

Since then it has grown very slowly, less than 1/2" per month on average.
It's never gonna look amazing like some do (Katya - your hair is awesome) as unfortunately the genetic male hair receding effect is setting-in on top.

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Krea, thank you. Btw. My hair also grows slowly. The year I decided to do something about my dysphoria (2017), the first thing I did, is I setup an appointment with endocrinologist and told him, that I am not 100% sure about HRT but I want to stop any further hair loss, period. I was very anxious about it. I started losing some hair in a typical M-shape hair pattern baldness on my forehead, and I knew it will only get worse with time. So I left his office with prescription to Finasteride, which I later replaced with Dutasteride. This drug, stops your body converting some of your testosterone into a more potent dehydrotestosterone (DHT), which kills the hair follicles in your head, and basically stops further hairloss. Later on, when I started HRT and suppressed my testosterone to female levels, I stopped taking it as it's no longer needed. You may want to talk to your doctor if this is important to you. Even dermatologist can prescribe it, and you don't have to explain that you are trans, etc.

I haven't had a haircut in over 4 years. LOTS of compliments, the usual is "most women would die for your hair." Yes, it's true, it'll only get "so" long, but even shoulder length hair is long compared to a standard professional male cut. I used to highlight it and went 7 years without a cut, but it got to a point where it stopped getting longer. Since I stopped highlighting it's been getting longer than ever. Who know bleach was bad for hair? lol!

As to the awkward stage between short and long, I feel your pain there, but in reality that only lasts for a short while. Wet it down, get some hairspray, wear a hat, or just explain to everyone that you want to look like Jon Bon Jovi in the 80's. And then, soon after, it'll be awesome. But ONLY IF you quit getting haircuts.

I would love to have long hair so much and be able to pull it into a pony tail.

I have very thick hair and would never be thin. Wife and family have objected to me growing my hair.

Jennifer

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Charlotte Sparkle

Hi


Does anybody else share these feelings and have you had similar impulses?

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Yes! Yes, and Yes! You are so lucky! I really wish I had hair to grow out! My hair was really long in college, used to wear ponytails and pig tails and one ponytail straight on top of my hear. Loved having long hair. But now at my age there not much left up there to grow. And you are so right, just dressing was not enough any more. So my impulses turned to growing other things, primarily my breasts. Impulses turned to obsessing over them. And my obsession paid off. But Hair would have been so much easier! And if you change your mind and decide you do not want long hair anymore, you can always cut it. So much easier! Lol.

[QUOTE=Suranne;4550388
For some people they may be able to grow hair that is very, very long, for others it will remain stubbornly short, and I know of one person (cis female) that hasn't had a haircut in 25 years and their hair is just below the shoulders.
[/QUOTE]
I didn't know this. I know a GG whose hair is down to her butt. It looks amazing, but is must be a real pain to take care of. I met her because her husband is TS, They usually give a joint seminar about working it out at Keystone.

I had almost shoulder length hair in college in the 70s, but kept it “respectably” short during my working years. Toward the end I was working for a public agency that had very flexible dress codes and was tolerant of most clothing and hair styles. In fact, during the time I was there, there were a couple of trans women going through their transitions.

So I started letting my hair grow out, and since my 20s it had gotten thinner and more wavy, so it was very challenging to go through the awkward phase before it got long enough to tie into a pony tail. I mostly wore a hat to keep it down as flat as possible, but of course I couldn’t wear the hat at work (office job). I used a little hair spray but not really enough, because I was too worried people would notice the smell on my bus ride into work. So basically I had very messy hair for a couple of years! Fortunately I retired after the first of those years, so during the second year I could use more spray and occasionally use pins to keep it in place behind my ears. All very frustrating, but after a certain point, there’s no way I wanted to cut it off, only to want to start the whole process over again! (I should say that my wife was always fine with my hair, and has been very supportive of my crossdressing.)

I had mixed feelings about finally having my hair long enough for a pony tail. I was so used to seeing myself with hair over my ears and hanging down in the back, that I thought I looked kind of weird with all my hair combed back and out of sight. It looked like I had short hair again, and a friend even thought I’d had it cut when he saw me for the first time with the pony, only from the front!

But the frustrations and challenges paid off big time as it got longer and longer, and now that it’s several inches past my shoulders, I can enjoy the various feminine looks when it’s down (e.g., pig tails, front sections clipped back, pony tail with small wisps hanging down in front of my ears, long curls in front), and just put it into a low pony tail when in drab.

I do admit it’s a pain to take care of, since it turned out that the longer it got, the frizzier it became! I use a few different anti-frizz products, but they never completely tame it. I know, I’m very lucky to still have all my hair, so I can't complain, but it’s definitely thinning more (and my hairline receding) so I’m planning to enjoy it as long as I can. Oh, and also I’ve had it colored, since it would be almost totally gray otherwise, and that adds to the feminine look which I absolutely love! One final note - I think it has stopped growing. I had it trimmed in May and it’s only an inch or so longer than it was then.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Charlotte Sparkle

For me I feel it's now a case of 'last chance saloon' with regards to growing my hair long as sooner or later I'm going to be too old to have it long.

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Lotte... it's not so much "last chance saloon" but "use it before you lose it"!

Like many here, I had really long hair in my college days and right after. It was the late 60s - 70s, so it wasn't unusual at all. Dark brown, shoulder length, luxurious. I had kind of a girly relationship with it, touching, twisting...many even pointed that out to me. I just laughed...my CD tendencies were so deeply sublimated at that time I couldn't appreciate it on that level either. In time as styles changed, I cut it short, and eventually it grayed, thinned and eventually went away in the all important back. Still didn't bother me much.

Fast forward 50 years or so, leaned into my CD nature at last, and I need to spend big $ for a wig that is the color, texture and resembles my hair of old. Ironic.

Katya : Thank-you for your suggestions. :thumbsup:

Unfortunately, mine has already thinned too far, so even stopping any further hair loss would still not be enough. Longer hair isn't an absolute essential for me, so it will be disappointing rather than devastating when the time comes to get rid of it. In the meantime i will continue to use hats/bandanas to hide that thin hair on top.

I totally wore pins in my hair while working in office under the radar, during the awkward phase. Seems like no body cared and still everyone was surprised when I came out as trans couple of years later, by which point I wasn't even hiding my breast. Fear of being discovered is overrated.