Omg neighbour knows!!

Posted on the clothing board about a pair of flats I was thinking of buying?well I did! Last night took the plunge, shaved my legs, put on a skirt and went for a walk.

This morning I was just heading out and saw this girl from two flats down who I get on really well with. We said good morning and I carried on past. Then she called my name, I turned round and she had this big grin and said ?what do you think of these boots - I?m trying to choose between them or a skirt and pink ballet flats?.

Literally no idea how she saw me and I basically ran off. She wasn?t there when I got back and I don?t know what I would have said if she was. I?m proud of who I am and know i put myself in this situation but absolutely terrified that she now knows.

Just smile and tell her you like her boots

She probably showed you a a kind of acceptance...
Scary and great thing !

I don't know what I would do, I can guess. I have never been in that position. I normally stay in my room/closest except when I go to Atlanta meeting or doing a shoot at a Drag Queen event. Then I try to leave the house in fem attire and return that way. It is a short 25 feet walk to/from my house /car.

Hmmm...two possibilities. Either she saw you, accepts you and is reaching out, or she didn't see you, LIKES you, and is reaching out. Next time you see her, tell her whether you prefer the boots or skirt/flats. I think you are in good shape either way.

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Originally Posted by Kris Burton

Hmmm...two possibilities. Either she saw you, accepts you and is reaching out, or she didn't see you, LIKES you, and is reaching out. Next time you see her, tell her whether you prefer the boots or skirt/flats. I think you are in good shape either way.

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Oh she 100% saw me - the ?question? was about the exact outfit I was wearing. Hope she?s accepting but she did seem to be having a bit of a laugh at me?

That's really the risk of going out. Neighbors will most likely see. My suggestion is to just own it, be friendly, and talk to her like a friendly neighbor would talk to another friendly neighbor.

By tomorrow the whole neighborhood will know so might as well get used to it. And start going for a walk enfemme during the daylight!

The next time you see her (probably in male mode, right?) apologize to her for "running off like that" and explain that she surprised you and that you didn't know how to react.

(or something like that)

Then let her steer the conversation where it goes. Since she didn't shriek in horror or anything when it happened, so it's possible you might be pleasantly surprised.

No question about it, you need to meet up with her at your first opportunity and acknowledge, honestly and unashamedly, what she and you already know. You can be honest, too, and apologize for your panic reaction.

Other than your fleeing, I doubt she has much concern. I also doubt she has much interest in telling the neighborhood, and further doubt the the neighborhood would care enough to listen.

Please let us know how you handle it.

PS: it might be tempting to see more in her pleasant demeanor than is merited. Assume that she is a kind, friendly and understanding person, and hope to build a friendship, nothing more. Don’t get to far ahead of yourself.

Hi Lily, I do understand, we can't be prepared for everything unexpected all the time. But I agree with the others, you should make a point of talking to her and letting her know that you was just caught off guard. I think we've all been there before, I was sitting in a casino playing a machine (dressed) when a man came over and started talking to me, I wasn't prepared for any advances and mostly ignored him till he left. I handled it poorly and should have conversed with him and might have made a friend but I panicked and just froze.

Sounds like a great response to me Lily, She was probably just having a bit of fun though in a positive way x

Lilly, your neighbor's question, in my opinion, was one of acceptance. She was trying to bond over a shared interest.

Not everyone is gossipy. Also, if a neighbor thinks u want to keep it a secret why would they mention it unless they don't like u?

I've been going out dressed for 20+ years. But, if I leave in daylite I drive out with sunglasses, no wig, baseball cap and a men's jacket over my outfit.:daydreaming:

2 neighbors can see in my back yard if they look over my fence. They may have seen me there dressed. But, if they pass that info on, they r virtually admitting to being peeping tom's!:doh:

If u don't wish for your neighbors to know? DON'T go out dressed!:devil:

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

By tomorrow the whole neighborhood will know so might as well get used to it. And start going for a walk enfemme during the daylight!

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Well, maybe, maybe.

Not knowing you or your neighbor other than from what you are sharing, it sounds like she was accepting, as Alwayshave said. It was probably the best way she could figure out to start a conversation which, lets face it is an awkward one for a stranger with even the best of intentions.

I agree you should apologize next time you see her. If you get along so well, you may have found an ally. Of course, you should proceed with caution regardless.

Hi Lily,

It's the cost of doing business. I wouldn't loose sleep over it. When you see her again chat her up. If she says anything just own it. She would probably respect you more if you're up front.

Sounds like the cats out of the bag, so take advantage of this fortituous meeting. Sounds like good things could develop. Meet her and have an honest discussion. You get along, she grinned and asked questions?all excellent signs. What you shaved your legs and didn?t wear hose?

I dont miss those days at all. Worrying if a neighbor saw me or not and freaking when they did. I had the young boy tell me I look great many times and the parents know who I am. I even bought a purse from her small business. The other neighbor is also in the LBGTQIA community so all is well there. Their other next door neighbor has talked to me several times and left some bottles of oil on my drive for me. He did ask if I was transgender or a crissdeesser. I am transgender. But the point is everyone knows me and is still really cool

Now really, this is just so wrong.
If your neighbours are going to see you then at least be wearing heels!

I’ll chime in with the others voicing the opinion that she may have been amused, but her comment sounds like she was trying to be pleasant and encouraging. Her response certainly was not mean or insulting!

I presume the rest of your presentation was male? If so, the contrast was likely what both drew her eye and elicited the amused comment.

If it was me, I would approach her at the next opportunity, dressed in your normal male street clothes, and tell her, “Ummm, hey, I just wanted to say that I appreciated that you weren’t mean or insulting to me when you spotted me the other day, going for a walk in a skirt. Thank you. You’re the first neighbor who ever noticed. I hadn’t expected anyone else to be out at that time, and… it startled me. That was why I ran off. This is a relatively new experience for me, and I really don’t want the whole neighborhood talking about it, okay? But if you want to talk to me privately about it, that’s cool.”

See where it goes from there. She might well become a supportive ‘gal pal’ ally, someone who can give you an honest feminine opinion about your style choices, maybe even help you shop discretely for new stuff. And if you’re both single? Might be the start of something nice!

I believe Char GG has the best response. You've ripped the Band-Aid off, so you may as well own it. Ninety-nine percent of people aren't going to care whether you're male or female.

When I am asked an opinion by anyone I usually give a friendly response even if it is not all that truthful.

Running and hiding and ignoring others only raises suspicion.

When I have met someone who knows my other self I have not been sprung. YET!

Well I don't think so and I have been at "IT" for many years now. :-)

Sounds like you might end up with a supportive friend, I hope everything goes well, please talk to them again.

Lily, if your single and live alone, who cares?, only you, but most off us have a family to consider, if I didnt have a wife to consider, by the way is ok if I dress but not at home ;. Being dressed as a female is not a crime, being seen dressed as a female is still not a crime, but socially can be damaging to your family at this moment in time. So if you have family to consider dress carefully, if not what the hell, enjoy

Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily... :wave2:

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Originally Posted by char GG

My suggestion is to just own it, be friendly, and talk to her like a friendly neighbor would talk to another friendly neighbor.

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Originally Posted by BTWimRobin

When you see her again chat her up. If she says anything just own it. She would probably respect you more if you're up front.

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Read the 2 quotes above -- then follow their advice. ;)



Anyway, not for nothing, but...


If you want to play in the big-girl world? Expect big-girl consequences from time to time. :heehee:

From the sounds of it, this is no biggie, really -- believe it or not. I assure you, things can & sometimes do get *waaaay* more dicier than that! :confused2:


And yes, your neighbor-friend was simply enjoying a playful, good-natured ribbing at your expense. I mean, how could she *not*? Look at it from her eyes. While you were caught off-guard to see her, no doubt she was way more surprised to see you like that! :p


Oh, can we talk about that for a minute? It sounds like you were in "guy-mode," correct? Like, presenting as your usual male self, yet wearing some GG-clothes, yes?

That's fine, as some of us (including myself) do that, as well. However, I personally draw the line at skirts & dresses. Some can pull that off while in guy-mode -- but I know I'm not one of them. Any sort of GG-pants (leggings, skinny jeans, wide-leg pants, etc.) would be that much less jarring to others, than a skirt, for sure.

Paired with baby-pink patent flats with a little bow at the toe, to boot? Yep, that's definitely gonna elicit an automatic response from a friendly GG-neighbor! :battingeyelashes:


Again, though, it's fine. I will say, though, that certain types of clothing choices will certainly attract more attention than others -- whether in girl-mode or guy-mode.

I do dress a bit differently, depending on which. I suggest others attempt to do so, as well. Maybe scale things back a bit, toning it down, when in guy-mode? Then as others get accustomed to seeing you like that, you could always temporarily ramp it back up again every now & again, ya know?


Anyway, everything should be cool. :thumbsup:

Feel free to give us an update! :)

My immediate reaction is if all the neighbors know then you have nothing left to lose? You can come and go as you please.

I have a parallel story.

My GG friend Michelle needed help moving. She organized some friends and I (guy me) went and helped.

I introduced myself to one of the others and said we previously met at a local bar. A bar I've only been to as Dee. Ok, own it.

Five days later, back to bar, this time as Dee. Same guy was there (and his girlfriend, who was also at move). Not an issue.

I'm finding people care less and less as time moves forward.

Or I care less.

Or both.

Sounds positive to me. Just give her your opinion if she asks your opinion on clothing. Going by what you wrote it does not seem as though she was being hostile. I know I enjoy it when my wife asks my opinion on her clothing.

I was caught dressing by my neighbor once. I was standing by a window using the lighting or a selfie. I heard a sort of wolf whistle outside and my neighbor had seen me. :worried: They knew I lived alone. Luckily they were in the process of moving out and I never saw them again lol.