At what age did you feel or realize this was who you were? It seems the older I got the more secure with who i was and the more I enjoyed dressing up.
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At what age did you feel or realize this was who you were? It seems the older I got the more secure with who i was and the more I enjoyed dressing up.
I was about 12 when I started but it wasn't till I was in my 50's that I realized it wasn't going away and was part of who I am.
I agree. I remember trying on bras etc at a early age, but then not doing that for many years. but as i got older the more the feelings of dressing got stronger. I will be 50 in march and have just now come to terms with this is ME!
Started at age 4-6 with a dress! Boys wear pants girls wear dresses!
Mother bought pant suit! I told her (~15) she was not my mom, my mom wore dresses!
Realizing it is me ~64-65! Gender me! New motto: Let yourself be yourself!
Now out 24/7/365 and just being me!
Hugs Lana Mae
Rayne, when I was about 10 my mom dressed my brother and I up in girls clothing for a church Halloween contest, we didn't win as we were certainly not the only boys dressed this way. On a side note I have seen at least three boys in my neighborhood dressed as girls for Halloween but have no idea if they ever wore something feminine again. I will say that they were very comfortable, as if it was just a costume and no other indications that it was something more. I believe many of us would definitely have a bit of the pink fog on us and possibly raise some suspicions among those that know us.
The first time I dressed with any intention was at about 12 or 13, alone in a spare bedroom, and it very soon became quite the hobby. I progressed to full clothing and a wig, first did makeup and perfume at about 15 and for the past 45+ years have been chasing that magic feeling from back in those "first" days. I still measure this in terms of "firsts", with first steps outside, first time driving, first time going into a store and finally this week my first time going into a makeup store and just asking for help with the basics.
To the last point of your post, I also am feeling quite comfy with the activity and occasionally wonder if I'm too comfortable but I don't let that stop the magic of the pink fog! Walking in and out of stores, slowly looking through the racks for the perfect outfit, ordering a meal at Panera and sitting out in public are all just too fantastic, good luck on your travels.
I still have not figured who I am so I will let you knows when I figure it out, if ever.
Started at about age 8. Been fighting for years but have had to acknowledge Claire is NOT going anywhere...
Started at 3 or 4 with the neighbor girls. As I got older the more, I dressed. By 12 my family would leave alone to visit my aunt and I would dress up and sit on the front pouch swing. Now 70 years later I can't get enough dressing.
Started at 3-4 years old when my sister and her friend put me in one of my sister's dresses. I was also used as a dress model as my mum was a seamstress at this time.
My mum put a stop to this as my parents could see I wanted to dress up a lot, and would always ask to be dressed up when I was 4-6.
By 5-6 I was taking my sister's underwear and hiding them in my room.
By 12 I was dressing in my sister's clothes whenever possible.
Come 18 I bought clothes for myself for the first time.
I then got seriously ill and didn't dress until I was early 20s, then met my wife and my desires just went away.
At 30 I had a massive desire to dress again, and realised I was transgender over the following 2 years.
I think you already have figured yourself out. You just need to be secure with who you are
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I also would like to add that as i read your stories and get to know who you are, when I read you address me as Rayne and who I am, I feel a peace, a calm on me .. so THANK YOU
I was 8 when I started and 44 when I decided to acknowledge that these feelings were NOT ever gonna go away and decided to just go with it!
I was 8 when I discovered women's clothing. I was well into my 40's before I realized this was something I really couldn't change. And I was 58 before I accepted this into my life and let it become part of me and who I am.
Six or seven. Been the same for a long time, as I'm the Beatles age ("When I'm 64"). Five years ago I made the decision to step out the door, and ever since I made that decision I've had a lot of fun.
I'm with Karren -- I'll let you know when I figured it out. Every time I think I have it, something changes and I'm back to sorting it out again.
Same for me, Six or seven.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe
I came to terms with, and began expressing this side of me publicly 3 years ago.
At 5. others told me who I was and it didn't agree with who I thought I was. It took me a long time to realize that I was right and they were wrong. I'm still trying to figure out who I am though.
I'm a little different. I had no childhood crossdressing experiences at all. My first came at age 28 when, as kind of a joke, I tried on my girlfriend's - later to become my wife - nightgown. I liked it a lot, told no one and buried the impulse to go further for many years. In my forties, I tried on my wife's pantyhose, and later a dress or two. Again I liked it a lot, but did not act upon it further for a good 25 years. This past summer, at age 69, I finally gave in, bought some clothing of my own, dressed up, and here I am. There is no going back or burying the impulse now. It is part of who I am, and probably always was. I find that I am now quite happy to be part of the CD community.
I am reading your question differently than some. Although I may have dabbled in my mother's lingerie draw as a teenager I was filled with self loathing and disgust. I thought I must have been a homosexual which was a negative thing back in the 1960's. Worse, I must have been a pervert. That was the common belief. Worthy of getting my head knocked in and thrown out of my home by my parents, if I was discovered. I still had issues with cross dressing into my 20's and 30's. I never went to counseling. I don't know what sort of counseling I would have received in the 1970's and 1980's. I don't think that was the "Age of Enlightenment."
I probably came to the realization of who I was in my 50's. I sort of weighed my pluses and minuses on the scale of life. The plus side totally dominates. Now the problems I have are really the problems of others unwilling to accept men and women who are different than themselves. Sure, the more secure one is with self, the more enjoyment or peace.
Did you purge out of self loathing or did you purge because of the potential negative consequences of your actions? There is a difference.
Ten. My mum's tights (pantyhose). Loved it then and love it even more now.
I would say my early dabbles with femme clothing started when I was around 5 years old. It continued all though my teenaged years but I never really understood it. Being transgendered wasn't in anyone's vocabulary.
It was the coming of the Internet that radically changed things. I would say I'd be in my 40's before I got anything like an understanding of just who I was and that there were others like me out there. Seeing photo's on sites like Flickr of so many CD'ers was a real eye opener.
Technology has revolutionised how gender is perceived. I know it's anecdotal but it does seem that those born 30 years ago or less get comfortable with their dressing and who they are much younger in life.
Although I began dressing at about 11 years old I certainly didn't understand myself well enough at the time to recognize what it all meant. Over the years the urge would come and go, sometimes for years at a time. When I was about fifty the urges to dress came roaring back and hasn't left. but it was still several more years before I realized I was more than "just a crossdresser". So I would say that I was about 53 when I finally figured out and accepted that I am transgender.
i started at 4 or 5. I really came to terms with my dressing in my early 30's.
Sara
I realized there was something different about me compared to the other boys when 4 or 5. I related to girls really well and not so well with boys. By 8 I was exploring using my mother's clothes and then I got caught. I was gently but soundly reprimanded and effectively my identity as the girl I wanted to be was negated leaving me with a maleness I did not want. That started a war within me and I became as Stephanie47 described - full of shame and self loathing.
But I learned to outwardly be fairly "normal" male while the war inside continued. That kind of conflict is not sustainable without going mad. Ten years ago at 66 I surrendered to the her in me. Now, after years of study of the nature of the transgender person, I am stable and comfortable but not fully femme out in the open. My stable point is considerably lower than those who go out but it is fully who I am - not a male, not a female, but a more or less equal blend of both that now respect and support each other. Psychologically Androgynous is the best term. And my wife is showing signs of accepting it a wee bit more. It is not a need; it is who and what I am. I can't go back but I also feel little need to go deeper. No shame and no loathing. I understand it now.
As most of us things change over time. many 1st along this path.
My store started at a very early age, I will say being born in 1955 ( many years prior to the internet) like 40 years old.
At less than 3-4 was playing dress up with my friends on my block they were all girls my age.No daycare, so the mothers took turn. We did share each other cloths playing dress up.. At around 5-6 was my trying on my 1st pair of panties, my friend Beth and I switched underwear in her bedroom, we nearly got caught by her mother wearing each other underwear when she yelled out lunch was ready. Luckily she did not come to, the bedroom to get us.
Hated puberty was just wrong wanted to be a girl.
I am more than a crossdresser, so I do not identify as a crossdressers.
Major 1st is when accepting that I am transgender and non-binary / more female side.
I started when I was 3 or 4. I had a slew of older sisters who dressed me. But also I would wear things on my own.
I kind of started when I was 12-13 wearing my sisters panties. I kind of dabbled in it
in my 40-50's wearing pantyhose or panties that I bought. When I was in my early 60's
I dressed more, until retirement when I went to where I'm today.
I started at 10. At 16 went on holiday with cousins. Saw my 16 yr old female cousin dressed up for 1st time full makeup. Dress and nylons. I thought that I wanted to be like her.17 to 21 started buying my own feminine clothes., wig etc.Got married at 28 thought it would go away Had kids aged 32 onwards purged for what I thought would be the last time. Age 47 father died CD came back to me with a vengeance started buying fem stuff again. Wife discovered stash made me purge threatened marriage would be over.Had a breakdown came out to mother. That?s when I realised it was not going to go away. Had fem wardrobe at mothers house for 10 yrs. Used to dress at least once a week there. Mother passed away last year. Now aged 57 limited opportunities. DADT Wife doesn?t accept at all . Like Karen . I still don?t know who I am but have accepted it will be with me for the rest of my life.
I was 5 or 6 when I had my first experience, thanks to next door neighbor sisters who invited me to join them in ?dress up?. I recall, initially, it was no big deal, until I slipped on nylon stockings. That?s when my life changed. All I could think of was when can I wear hose again. It wasn?t until later I progressed to wearing other things and become aware that these desires were a part of me. I wore a garter belt or OBG with stockings underneath often. As we all probably know, things just progressed. I dress daily, always panties, thigh highs and bra. Interesting note, while hose are my #1, I?ve recently developed a real enjoyment of wearing underwire bras. I wear one most of the time. Yes, I?ve received a few glances, but..who cares. My enjoyment I owe to my wonderful, supportive wife.
I was around 10 when I discovered my mother’s girdle and stockings in her dresser drawer. I slipped them on and was immediately hooked. I progressed to my sister’s panties, dresses and blouses. I kept Monique pretty much in the closet for many years, but when I retired, she started kicking and screaming to get out. Now, I’m content to wear panties and a sports bra 24/7, with my wife’s blessing. I don’t know how far it will go, but I’m enjoying the ride.
It started when I was around 5 my mom and older sister would find me in the lingerie section of the store looking at and feeling the bras and panties. Then when I was 10 I started wearing my sisters bra and panties she was 13 then she found me felling and looking at hers that she left on her bed. She said you would like to wear them I said yes. My sister let me wear them. Then one day my mother gave me a hug and she felt the bra and then the panties. She said boys don?t wear these. But my sister still let wear them when I asked. About two months went by and my mom found me wearing them again she said why I said I like wearing them after she thought about it she said I should have seen this by the way you look and feel them at the store. She then said if you want to wear them you have to buy your own so with some allowance money I had saved when went to the store I bought two bras blue and black and black and blue panties. Now at 58 I still wear panties and a bra everyday. That?s all I am a under dresser.
I was 5 or 6 myself when I first started trying on Mom's slips and panties. Although there has long stretches since where I haven't dressed, the feeling has never left me.
I now live on my own (save for my 87 year old mother who is staying with me for a few months) and generally dress most evenings and all weekend. My femme stuff has been stored while Mom is here but I almost feel like showing her my extensive wardrobe as a kind of thanks. I won't but I do feel grateful for her gentle admonition all those years ago when she quite privately told me that little boys don't wear ladies clothes. Some times they do Ma, sometimes they do...
I began at about age 6 and by my teens I just knew this was me and that I would never give let it go.
I started in my early teens with wearing my mother's tights and swim suits. It was the 80's and the whole aerobicize craze was in full force. She would hang her items to dry on the door in my bathroom. I think I've finally gotten to that point where I don't question my dressing anymore. It's just something that I enjoy doing.
50 plus!:eek:
Drops mic!:devil:
Another late bloomer here, starting at about age 55. It began as just a kinky lark, but I quite quickly realized I just preferred dressing as a woman.
Aged five or six, started playing dress up with some neighbours daughters, but my real epiphany came at 13 when home alone one evening. I went into my older sister's room, and changed into some of her clothes. I can still remember the whole outfit, and the feeling when I saw myself in a full length mirror. That was 58 years ago, but the thrill remains the same.
For me it was really late in my life I loved the feel of my wife silk nightdress when she wore one and then one day one was laying on the bed when she had gone out so tried it on and loved it so this became a passion of mine when she was out, then i also liked rubbing my hands on her legs when she had nice stockings on so again one day I tried a pair on and was hooked, by this time I was about 45 years old, I then wondered what it would be like to wear some lengerie but she was a lot slimmer than me so this was not possible and i really wanted to try some heels but again her shoe size was small, so all i could do was slip on one of her dresses but not zip it up, then we had a Miss club competition and I joked how funny it would be for a bloke to get dressed up and enter, my wife thought that was funny and suggested that we give it a go so of to an op shop we went and she helped get me a dress, shoes and a bra and a wig, then she got ne new pantie hose, when the day came she dressed me and did some make up, I was in heaven and we went to the club and it was a laugh but deep down it felt amazing, after this night she took everything back to the op shop, but I wanted to dress again, so all I could do was revert to trying on some of her things. Roll on some 20 years and I was travelling a lot for work and I went on line and bought some cloths and shoes so I could dress completely at my overnight hotels and enjoy it once again.
I don't really remember what age I was when I put on my first article of women's clothing. When I got married and thought I was rid of it forever, surprise, surprise two weeks back from our honeymoon there was a pair of pantyhose on the floor. As soon as I put her pantyhose on was the first day I realized how serious it was. I was 24 then and now 58 it still hasn't gone anywhere.
Preschool aged, but I cannot say exactly how old I was?.perhaps 4 or 5.
I?m probably in the minority?. I?ve really had the ?urge? since a young age. But never acted on it til I was 34. 38 now??..
I was in primary school when I was hooked. First my sisters frilly tennis knickers, before progressing to my mothers lingerie drawer.
If I think back i remember trying on my moms bra once. I remember i liked it. I never really went anywhere with it, but itn was always on the back of my mind. Fastforward to my late 20s and my wife (at the time) were paying a game and i had to put on her bra. I didnt put the clasp on in the back. guess i kinda knew but didnt realize ME. As our divorce ended and some of her belongings left behind i would find 10 or 15 minutes here or there to try things on. Being a single Father with full custody, time is very limited. But now he has grown and gone and i have more time and have totally embraced this as me
Maybe it was around 6 or 7. I remember playing some silly game about superheros and spies with my brother. He said if i wanted to super man I would have to dress as a supergirl.
So I did. The catch was I had to wear a bra and stuff it with some doll pillows. Anyway it was just that about two years later it seemed that every chance I got where I could dress as a girl I did. I reflected on it and figured that I was a bit different. And years later I still am.
I was 9 or 10 when I found a pair of my moms panties. When I was a bit older and could stay home by myself I got into her bras and girdle. It was an amazing feeling as I was entering puberty. I remember trying to look as sexy as I could and wondering if this meant I was gay. I had less chances to dress in my 20s and I thought when I got married it would go away. It didn?t. In fact, it got worse because my wife had some sexy undies and lingerie and I couldn?t resist. It seems this is a common thread among a lot of us here.
I’ve known who I was for as long as I can remember. I’ve only learned to love this side of me in the last three or four years.
I was about 8 years old when I first tried on some of my mom’s slips and other clothes, filched from the basement laundry room dryer. Liked how it felt, but kept nothing, and had no intention of doing more than trying them on.
By the time I was 12, I knew I was ‘different’, but stayed deeply in the closet, refusing to even consider non-straight impulses.
When I was 18, I started playing Dungeons and Dragons with male friends in the Navy. I found I enjoyed creating and playing female gaming characters, ‘to balance out the dungeon adventure party’, and did it so well that when that shifter to on-line gaming, my friends who had not met me in person were certain a woman was playing my female characters. Yet I still did not identify as female in real life.
I was 56 when I finally admitted I wanted to go out in public dressed as a woman. I had been in a straight marriage for 30 years, and was recently widowed. And as soon as I started going to nightclubs as Ceera, everything just felt so right, so self-validating, that I never looked back. My social life became almost entirely female.
But I was 60 before I admitted I wanted to fully transition, and live the rest of my life entirely as a woman.
I can't remember a time when I didn't know I was "different." I always knew I should have been a girl.
I guess I'm still gaining new understanding of just what if all means - to me.
I think I was around 9-10 when I found myself wearing my sisters ot mothers things when ever I had the chance.
For nearly 50 years, I was lost in confusion and stress over that female part of me that was seeking to break out. I hid it and shoved it aside many times as I had a real life, family and career to focus on. Still the thought of being a woman and being properly enfemme was always there.
Twenty years ago, I started to let the "cat out of the bag" and admit to the need to start expressing that inner feeling. Now it has been a steady evolution to where I am today. It is helpful that my spouse finally accepted this special part of me. I now have the confidence to be the woman I was meant to be when the opportunity presents itself. I get out a reasonable amount of time as Sarah; have wonderful Tgirl friends to share these times with; and I am now able to be out in public and present myself as a mature, stylish woman.
My interest started around 4 or 5. When I finally admitted to myself that this is who I am and it is not going away I was over 40. When I finally decided what to do about it I was over 71 and I will let you know when that happens.