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How to channel the discomfort when not being able to dress?
Hi
I'm experiencing a lot of stress lately because I can't fully express my crossdressing needs. Sometimes there's a dot on the horizon and I can live up to a certain day or moment when I can be my feminine self, but right now, there doesn't seem to be any such moment in sight.
It's really stressful, emotionally and physically (i.a. ventricular extrasystoles).
Any advice on how to cope with this?
Is it possible for you to dress partially? Sometimes if you just have a short window you can put on your favorite article (heels or wig perhaps) and enjoy that for the short time you have. You might also try underdressing, not something I have done frequently but many do and seem to enjoy it. Admittedly, fully dressing is the best, but if you can't, maybe something like these can relieve the edge, and maybe give a bit of a thrill like you are getting away with something!
Don't deny yourself the fun of talking to other CDs as well, even if virtually like here on the forum. Works for me!
Stress can have two different effects depending on how you and your brain perceive the effects of the switch in gender expression. It happens with people who are not like us as well. The first effect is to essentially wipe out your desire to engage in a favorite activity that is very personal; for us it is dressing to some extent or other. The second is what you are experiencing - added stress by not being able to dress. In us, either one can create dysphoria (discomfort), but the second form seems to have the largest impact.
No easy solutions as it is very individualized. But I agree with Kris. Experiment whenever you can to find the hints that have the most impact on your feelings. Often under dressing works but if discovery is an issue then that might not be available. With some even putting on a lip moisturizer in a neutral color works. Some even smell like lipstick. That works by allowing you to experience touch, taste, and aroma, three of the five senses. And if it is visible sight can be added by looks in the mirror. The more senses you can activate with little things that you associate with the feminine the better the chance that it will provide a bit of relief.
pretty panties work
It might help if you gave us a little more background about why you can't dress, but, depending on your physicians advice, walking is a good stress reliever, and walking underdressed can help make that walk more enjoyable. if you are worried, choose a neighborhood a few miles from your house to do the walking.
Shopping either online or in person helps me
I?m going through that right now. Sometimes I?ll put on a pair of panties even if it?s just for 5 minutes in the bathroom. If I can?t do that then this forum is a lifesaver. Just reading through the threads helps to lower the boil to a simmer and I can go about my day easier.
Like Gretchen wrote the more senses one can incorporate, the better you can cope. One of the ways I read for adding the visual sense is to look at pictures of your fem self.
These last couple years, when I can’t dress I have still found time to work on my girly figure. Mainly breasts and lately my hips and rear. So hopefully when I do find the time to dress my clothes should fit better. Or maybe I’ll have to go shopping for me ones? Lol. Depends on how successful I am!
Ps: I really don’t get stressed any more. Life’s too short.
I agree with Kris and Gretchen . Underdressing in panties and nylons helps .The pandemic has not been good for most of us. I had an opportunity a week ago for a short time. It was not as satisfying as usual because it was rushed. But it was something that was better than nothing.
Go for a walk in a lingerie department store and sus out all the goodies, buy a few panties, it may help with the stress, that's what I do. Dont forget to wear panties when browsing in lingerie stores.
Yep, the pandemic has been a big pain in the butt. My wife fully retired just before the pandemic hit. That was enough to kill any full days of being en femme. But, with the pandemic and everyone hunkering down meant no overnight watching our grandkid at our daughter's home forty miles away. The last time that happened was New Year's Eve of 2019.
Fortunately, my wife and I sleep apart due to medical reasons. The tossing and turning of one or both of us will make back pain arise and awaken the other. She is a very later riser. Every night I don a pretty nightgown with panty and bra or a full slip with panty and bra. Right now I am pecking away on this keyboard wearing an ankle length white negligee and white panty under an ankle length fluffy robe she had made me a very long time ago. I have been thinking about donning a dress under the robe; dress, bra, panty and slip. That would give me from about 7:00 AM to 9:30 AM to be partially attired. Most days I wear panties.
I also engage in retail therapy. How else would I have acquired 162 dress? Anyway, no more dresses. I do collect coins, but, also collect panties. I've been chided once to twice on this forum for doing that. Anyway, I have amassed a nice collection of the three Vanity Fair styles of panties in new and vintage panties in various colors and patterns. It consumes some time to do that on ebay and on-line sites. I checked and there are seventeen medium size Priority Mail boxes stacked up with those goodies.
Sometimes I think I am crazy, but, so what!
Underdressing does nothing for me. It's all of the fear of being caught, with none of the benefit of being properly dressed.
What obstacles are preventing you from fully meeting your personal needs? Are you not able to dress at home or get out? If so, focus on the things that are keeping you confined and take concrete (if small and well planned) steps to overcome them.
Thanks for your kind reactions, it's really helping me a lot.
Since a couple of weeks, working from home is again made obligatory by the government. Thing is, I'm not home alone, my wife's also required to do home office.
Next to that, my two kids will be home for three weeks in a couple of days, a prolonged vacation due to the pandemic.
Suffice to say, I'm unable to have some much needed me-time. I'll try to hold on to the small things and 'll try some of your tips, thanks for that.
It's just hard being 100% me during the pandemic. It's frustrating, it makes me sad, but for now it is what it is I'm afraid.
I hope one day I can be open to the world of who I am, but if I'm being honest, don't think I will ever be able to even tell my kids.
If I don't have time to spend a morning in my usual female clothes, I do this sort of thing. I pop some pantyhose on and relax sipping a coffee for 10 minutes with my feet up looking at my legs and painted toenails through nylon. Bliss.Quote:
Originally Posted by Celee
I shop on line and also review my PHOTOGRAPHS. Making plans for when I can dress once more.
When I see absolutely no chance to dress for a long time (like a few months) I found it better to avoid such thoughts. My things are stowed, I would avoid this site, not look at pictures, and involve myself in other things unrelated to dressing. To study things that I won't be able to do would give me more angst. I still have those options available to work up a good feeling for dressing when I see an opportunity.
If it is only for a couple weeks or so, then do quite the opposite and make plans so the next chance will be a good one. I like underdressing, looking at photos, and writing.
Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Breathe in slowly for a count of 4, breathe out slowly for a count of 4. Meditate. About your favorite crossdressing activity. Maybe getting dressed, putting on makeup, shopping.
I love panties and always try to go all in when ship by for them
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I have the best.of both
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Always.times for Kendra
I can only speak for myself but underdressing in a bra, camisole and panties always helps.
What do you do when other issues create stress?
What about financial issues, family issues or others?
It's just the same and you need to treat it as such. There are things you can change and things you can't and you can't let those you can't eat you up.
It is pretty tough when you have to be a husband and father first to your family.
Mention to your wife that the both of you should take turns and get away, one or two days a week, to go work at the library or coffee house, if you can.
Do something to take turns getting some "me time".
You can under dress or get girly and drive a few towns away to go incognito.
It is very important for you both to get this "Me time"....later hire a sitter for some us time too.
Keeping your mental health is very important for a long life and you children will appreciate you both took care of yourself to be there for future life events.
Pantyhose panacea works for me!
In the 40 or so years I've been underdressing, I've never been caught. Consequently, that fear disappeared a long time ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteCD
I find that lacy panties help when underdressing. When I put my hand in my pocket and I can feel the texture of the lace it gives me a buzz that helps to satisfy the desire to dress.
Me too!Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie47
I can't wear a nightgown without getting caught in the morning, but I usually can sneak a bra and forms on before going to bed.
And I'm on a clothing budget, so I mostly retail therapy window shop.
Doing it right now...reading CD and talking with great people!!!
When I can't dress up and get totally girly, I will under dress, that is I wear panties, a garter belt and stocking, as well as a slip under my regular male clothes.