I don?t know why I let someone hurt me with 1 word

So, I consider myself fortunate that I have had mostly easy experiences when out in the world dressed. Yesterday was different, however. I was walking out of the mall after buying a cute wrap and a new pair of hose since I got a run in mine and a younger guy was turning left as I was walking across the road. He decided to turn right towards me and I walked on, he stopped and calmly said ?fag**t? to me then drove off. I think I was more hurt by the tone and the intent of the word on top of the intentional direction change just to say that to me.

NEVER let stupidity bother you! Yes I used the word "stupidity." Why? Because the reality is this. Anyone that makes a decision about something, or someone, without facts or solid information is an idiot! If they make ill-informed comments, such as this person did, without knowing anything about you, why you crossdress, or even trying to have some kind of understanding about crossdressers, is an idiot! NEVER let stupidity bother you! NEVER let stupidity rule you! And NEVER let stupidity live inside your head "rent free!" Be yourself regardless if others agree with who you are or not! YOU BE YOU! Stand tall and proud! :)

@ Linda K;

Well said. Agree wholeheartedly.

You aren't the problem, nu2me26 - they are.

It's hard, but don't let their ignorance affect your life.

I remember when I was about 6 yrs old. My big brother brought one of his guy friends into my bedroom. I pulled the bed covers up around me so they wouldn't see the night gown I usually wore to sleep in. His friend saw how uncomfortable I was and said "Whats wrong with him?"
"He's a faggot." My brother replied. He knew how much what he was said would hurt me but he wanted to impress his friend.
Later after his friend left he apologized. I forgave him. He was my brother. What else could I do? I loved him.
Forgiveness is the key. Don't hold malice in your heart because somebody who doesn't know you says a word that you don't like. Forgive them.
My big brother died in a motorcycle accident over 30 years ago. I still miss him every day.

nu2me26 -Can you imagine what a miserable person you have encountered here? One whose mind was so deliberately ignorant and hate filled that he felt he had to go out of his way in a childish attempt to insult you? I taught middle school for years, and it sounds more like the sort of things those 12-13 year olds would throw back and forth at each other than the workings of the mind of a person who identifies as adult. Or perhaps he has been fighting off "urges" from within himself, and insulting you is the only way he can deal with it.

In any case, try to take it from where it comes. Maybe this clown will get some help before he melts down.

We all know that there are knuckle dragging Neanderthals out there who were either never taught good manners or who have forgotten then.

As others have said, you're not the one with the problems, he is.

I'm on FB and I count myself as a Liberal and often people try to use "Woke" as an insult. I've been known to point out that it was the woke of their day that ended slavery, stopped children working in mines and factories. Campaigned to give women the vote. We, our community are on the right side of history. We're moving society forward, not holding it back.

I can understand why it would upset you. The shock alone would do that but now put it out of your mind, know he's the one at fault and carry on being the good person you are.

What happened to you is one of my biggest fears of going out dressed. You are confident enough to go out and have not encountered problems in the past. So you should be okay in the future.Please don?t let one individual?s ignorance put you off or affect your confidence. There are and always will be ignorant people in this world .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nu2me26

So, I consider myself fortunate that I have had mostly easy experiences when out in the world dressed.

---

The issue is primarily that you're not used to it. That is fortunate, except nobody can expect to be sheltered from this ignorance forever.

For a contrast, those of us who are used to being on the receiving end of that kind of ignorance would call it just another day. In fact, with the world being what it is, some uf us feel safer presenting as females.

Your assailant, consistent with his type, is a coward and maybe even jealous. That's why they hurl abuse and flee. They're afraid of what they'd hear back.

My take on this is that people who are annoyed at what we do are really beneath us (that's why they can't leave well enough alone) and in fact deserve to be annoyed. Being hated by that kind of fool is basically a badge of honor.

This activity is definitely not for the faint of heart. We know the risks when we put on the uniform. The best thing to do in these cases is to gain revenge by living well. Own it and rub it in their faces. It makes them mad, no end.

I would say don't give someone who doesn't deserve it free space in your head. It's sad how some people take any form of insulation, like being in a car or on the phone or internet, as an opportunity to let their impulses loose.

Linda K. used the word, stupidity. Few things strike me as more stupid than to encounter a total stranger and greet with a derogatory epithet. No need to worry about karma catching this guy. The logical consequences of such foolish behavior will visit him soon.

This upsets me only because I'm one who tells everyone to let people enjoy there lives. Hatred is not just towards us, it's also in religion. I hope this doesn't discourage you moving forward because I'm sure it took you a long time and courage to get where you are. Last month 2 teen girls video or took pictures of me putting gas, I guess to show others later and have a laugh. My wife seen I wasn't going out anymore and pushed me to go again and told me don't let them win. I hope this doesn't discourage you.

My general belief about people who need to attack others, is that they themselves are very insecure and need to prove they are not a "fag**t" by attacking you. Don't let this persons self loathing about his sexuality get to you.

my neck is a little stiff from looking at your avatar, i see someone who is cute and presents a very feminine vibe, how they could see any different is beyond me.

folks like that may be jelous of your strength to be yourself as they have not mustered that courage you have.
its a powerful word that had the intended effect, you are questioning yourself your look your actions.

maybe he changed directions to get a better look at the cute girl carrying a package back to her car and when he got closer he found a tell and was pissed you fooled him and got mad at himself and lashed out at you.

i have just had a questionable interaction where i volunteer, you cant personally forgive him but dont let that be the defining example of your time out.

when out people tend to take what they see as what i present as, at 6' its hard to not be noticed either M or F so i figure most know and are just being polite.

dont let one bad apple spoil your time anywhere you go out in the wild, get back on that horse and ride anywhere you want to.....

I find it interesting that often these people who like to hurl insults at others do what this guy did. They depart the scene quickly. Presumably so they do not have to suffer the response that might result from their evilness. They love to degrade others to make themselves feel better and validate their views. It is a serious illness that has recently spread widely in many societies. The epidemic of nastiness that results from getting caught in the whirlpool of depression and a sense of extreme inadequacy. I am so sorry you had to experience this or anybody needs to experience this. You took the high road and that is to your credit.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mykell

my neck is a little stiff from looking at your avatar [...]

---

Now, now, flattery is one thing, but that is just unladylike.

Oh, wait, you said your neck was a little stiff. My bad. Carry on. :heehee:

I highy recommend navigating the site on a tablet. Easier to rotate than a computer screen, lol.

You're a lovely lady and have a good sense of fashion. Don't let him take any space in your head.

That could have been directed at you as you were or simply what he calls everyone who interrupts his very important daily activities.
I know people that call everyone a specific term even though it has no relationship to who or what they are. Just chalk it up to ignorance and poor upbringing and go about your day.

There are many people in this world you dislike/hate people who are not like themselves. Take your pick; sexuality, sexual presentation, race, creed, color, national origin. These people can be from the bottom rung of society to the top of the heap. I will say, he was "man enough" to spew it from his mouth. Others will do the same behind closed doors and out of sight and among like thinkers. Many are society's policy makers; law makers. I am a child of the 1950's and 1960's when it was common to hear those terms used freely in society. It had a negative effect on me for many decades.

I definitely would have responded with a smart ass reply.

Someone that hateful and ignorant is to be pitied. I mean really. Think about it. Why would someone go out of their way like that to utter something as base as that?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater

We all know that there are knuckle dragging Neanderthals out there who were either never taught good manners or who have forgotten then.

As others have said, you're not the one with the problems, he is.

I'm on FB and I count myself as a Liberal and often people try to use "Woke" as an insult. I've been known to point out that it was the woke of their day that ended slavery, stopped children working in mines and factories. Campaigned to give women the vote. We, our community are on the right side of history. We're moving society forward, not holding it back.

I can understand why it would upset you. The shock alone would do that but now put it out of your mind, know he's the one at fault and carry on being the good person you are.

---

That is an absolute horrible comparison. The modern 'wokesters' of today are offended by differing view points, words, and truth. Lets use the George Orwell's 1984 example, answering 2+2=4 is wrong and a thought crime. The correct answer is 5.

Any ways, to the original poster, why let it bother you if it isn't true? Don't let these people live rent free in your head.

I have to say that Linda K's response was enlightening. Most people are ignorant of the transgender world and don't understand anything about why men cross dress. I guess it's a good thing that most aren't stupid enough to show their ignorance.

At some point he may have to wake up to the reality of who he is. At that point, my dear, he will suffer a good deal more than you have, and for a longer period of time.

At my age I have had a long time to make mistakes, and a long time to regret them. All the injuries and accidents, deals gone bad and money lost are like nothing, It's the times when I have been cruel when trying to be cool that keep me awake at night, staring at the ceiling wishing for a do-over.

Don’t let that individual deter you. Think about it this way, he has to live with his miserable self all the time and you only had to endure him for 15 seconds. He has a lifetime sentence to serve if he doesn’t change. Some people just choose to be angry. What a sad way to live a life. You have chosen to embrace life and all of the great things that come with it. Don’t change that.

Unfortunately there will always be some number of so called haters out there. That is why I primarily go to LGBT venues because the likelyhood of that happening where I typically go is quite low.

Sandi

"Never accept criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice"

I try to remember that overall I'm happier out in the world getting the occasional odd glance or weird verbal interaction than I was when I was dressed as a man because most of the time the bad stuff doesn't happen.

Yes, but you're not. He'll grow up one day if he has anything about him at all.

Nu2me, I don't go out but understand the feeling. Of course the guy is an idiot and his words should be dismissed. But still, it hurts to feel the hate of someone who doesn't know you and to whom you did no wrong. I feel for you exactly like I felt for a young black friend who was once insulted in a bus by an old white guy asking him what he was doing there and why he didn't go back to his country (whatever the old guy suspected it could be, my friend was from West Africa but he could as well have been French). Yes people can be afraid of the difference and express their uneasiness with these kinds of personal attacks. But there is something terribly mean in the act of telling someone that he shouldn't be here, that he is an embarrassment. It is such a negation of her/his humanity, a way of saying that s/he shouldn't exist. Granted, it is stupidity speaking, but still, it hurts, and ignoring it is easier said than done.

I do not think there is much I can add. That juvenile thought that he was exercising power, but in fact he was just showing his ignorance. I am sure you can think of a few more words that describe him? but in the end, he is entirely irrelevant and you can remind yourself of all your positive experiences