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Perhaps it's just me, but I wonder why someone would want to be your friend on this site and after you accept their friend request you never hear from them again.
Do others have this happen?
I can't quite figure out why this happens so often.
Please let me know if you have any ideas.
Sara-Also
Sara, I have many who do that. It turns out that sometimes we run out of things to say to each other. Have you tried PMing them to see if you get a response.
I know. This is why I never send or accept any friend request. Because every time one was accepted, the senders were never to be heard of again... (ominous music)
Seriously, I suppose some folks may just be interested in tracking your posts more easily, or too shy to do the first step.
On many forums, collecting 'friends' is a status symbol. Same as 'Likes' on FB. Look at me! I'm loved by a cast of thousands. (obscure reference to Bozo's Circus) The friends I do accept share common views or interests as I do.
Hugs, Terri
I never really understood the friends on here thing that much. You can send anyone a pm. I do have 19 friends but I don't interact with them any more then the regular forum.
I'm often puzzled that I get friend requests in the first place. Of course, I'm still such a novice at social media that I may not get what the advantages are of friending someone on the site. A PM to go with a friend request would help, too.
I have a few friends here that have sent me requests and we certainly don't interact regularly. I have a couple I have sent out and try to interact with them occasionally. but like others have said I use it more to track their posts and to PM them once in a while. There is only one member I communicate with regularly.
I don't really understand the friend thing here myself either, but if they're active here and not some weird new account I'll always accept the request.
It's not as much an issue here as it is on CDH, where every other time I post something I get a couple of friend requests from brand new accounts with zero posts. No thank you.
i don't have enough time to be active friends with people i have known in real life for 20 years let alone internet friends. life is busy. i am not kip dordy
I am glad others have posted what I have wondered. What is the advantage or point of friends on here? I am all for it, and have accepted any coming my way and only sent out one so far, but again, I don’t understand what distinction it provides.
Probably the biggest benefit is that it is easy to see when your friends are online so you can PM in real time, but I only stay in frequent touch with a handful of members. Some have come and gone.
Sandi
Hi Sara, Yep, that's me too. I have 50 friends here, not sure how I ended up with so many. I don't make it a point to follow or reach out much. Good observation, I will watch this post. Brenda
I had a bunch of friends, even requested friend status, but honestly, I never knew what significance the friend status had. I guess I am not very grood at being a friend here or in real life.
I've been here for fourteen years, and in that time I have managed to accumulate 33 friends.
Of these
1 is a very good personal friend of mine
A handful are still active on the site - too many are no longer active
There is one to whom I send an email at Christmas - she replies - she is no longer active on the site.
Another would chat with me on Skype, but we are no longer in touch.
4 have been banned!!! Wow!
There is one person on this site with whom I regularly exchange emails - s/he is not officially a friend - the correspondence began after s/he commented in a PM on one of my posts (or I on hers? = can't recall).
I have mentioned previously that there is only other one person met on this site that I have actually met face-to-face. It was like meeting a brother! We are no longer in touch.
We all move on.
There are friend collectors, some think its a creditability thing "hey I know such and such" and some actually follow-up on birthday's/holidays etc...
My friends, I've always welcome them to CT if ever passing through etc...
Beats me. Not like my 563 friends and I get together for breakfast every morning. I do get a lot of PMs and do respond to them all (more so here than my email account which I hardly ever check). And send out a lot So much so that I keep bumping the 250 PM limit and then have to go clean up my messages. But I love them all! Probably more than they know and more than I do most of my blood relatives. Lol.
In five years here i have sent approx. 20 friend requests and i do confess to being bad at corresponding. :itsok:
They are all members whose contributions here i particularly like.
Quite a few were the members that i met during the online Zoom chats last year. Another was to a member whom i also contacted on Facebook. They are all people that i would genuinely like to meetup with, but for the unfortunate fact that i live on on the other side of the world and have a fear of flying. :eek: (Actually, it's not a fear of flying, it's a fear of crashing, but i digress....)
One member lives comparatively nearby, but our attempts to meetup were hampered by pandemic. Hopefully this summer local Pride events will bring another opportunity. :Party:
I often send friend requests as a way of supporting new members - to let them know I appreciate them being here
Hi Sara,
Hi Gi,
I do find this true even of myself. I usually send out a FR if I see that we do or have lived in the same area or share similar interests and assume that those sent to me are for the same reason. Many friends have exchanged PM's and emails but over time we have said what we wanted to cover and it fades off. I still have one friend from here that we've gone out together with some other girls from here and we stay in touch even though she no longer logs in and a couple who have been Banned
I still use the activity log to see what my friends have been commenting on in case I miss something, which I do sometimes.
Like Geena I am a social media novice.So not familiar with etiquette. Dont do facebook etc and can?t exactly ask daughters what to do on this site.But I would not take it personally. I have found the same has happened to me.I occasionally send and respond to PMs. But most communication I do is via threads.
I send and receive FR on here. It?s usually because I see more in common than the obvious and I would assume the ones I received are the same. I always respond to messages ( when I see them as sometimes I don?t get the notifications.) Truthfully, getting messages from friends here is one of the things I look forward to, although it doesn?t happen much. Seeing friends posts in your feed gives you a good idea on their views, without playing 20 questions. So many of us are older and have a life involving work, family, friends, and hobbies. So much so, that time here is sometimes limited. I do check the forum multiple times a day , but sometimes feel this is a place where people not only come to verify we are not alone, but our actions are justified. I think in the end , a digital representation of someone does not present the same way as face to face. All ?relationships? need to be nurtured to continue. I literally received a fr on FB today from someone I haven?t seen for 35 years?..why? I wondered. Also , as much as some of us want to present as female the best we can, I believe our male brains aren?t wired that way I.e. we are not that social unless it?s one of our other passions ( woodworking, music, cars or motorcycles, outdoorsmen etc) . Just my take?and we can still be friends, regardless , if you want.
I suppose many just like to have lots of friends to show. It takes a lot of time to communicate with everyone you have listed as a friend and most of us don't follow up that way.
I know I have a few friends here that I write to now and then. we don't communicate frequently but that's ok.
Truthfully I have friends from High School and College that are that way also. We may not talk for a year but then when we do it's like it was yesterday.
To be honest I’m not good at friends, either online or in the real world. I wish I was but somehow I just can’t get the hang of it. I have some autistic traits and may well be on the spectrum somewhere.
I have a bunch of requests that I have never responded to. In the past I did acknowledge a handful, but soon it was "What do we have in common, other than wearing women's clothing?" It akin to having neighbors on your block who only give a nod of the head to each other. If someone sends me a private message I will respond to the query.
Hey Krea, Yes those zoom meetings were fun, and I still have that "Roots" trip on my bucket list Ronnie
I have a lot of friends here that I've never heard from since the first friend request.
I also have a lot of friends whom I've actually met FtF.
I also do a spring cleaning of friend that I no longer hear from, so be warned friends, spring cleaning is coming.
I've met 20 of my friends FtF.
I liken it to stamp collecting.
I have a few friends on here, and I'd totally connect with more. I like the idea of making that little extra passive connection to people who you respect, admire, or are intrigued by. It might be someone who writes a really excellent perspective on something, someone who obviously has a ton of skill that I'd like to learn, folks in my region that I might bump into at a show or convention, or someone into non-cd interests like athletics. I'd DM my friends more but the site is a little clunky at times, and the last time I sent one, it wasn't totally clear that my message even sent!
I'm actually unclear at just what being a friend on this site does. I've accepted friend requests sent to me, but again I don't know what the signifies.
As I've been a member here a long time I've seen a lot of changes to the CD.com website.
Mostly they've removed features that were too hard to manage or they felt were unnecessary. Possibly at one time there were things u could do with "Friends" here that u can't anymore? U don't need to be a Friend to PM anyone here, Sandi!:)
But, maybe a long time Mod can explain this more fully?:battingeyelashes:
Sara, I know exactly what you are saying, because it happens to me all the time. I almost want to give up trying. Sometimes I get a couple of messages and than nothing. I always have to be the one to send out the first response. I think some people just disappear and so many of us are busy with two lives. and find it hard to find private time to talk about cross dressing or chatting with our cross dressing friends
I do the same and have made some great internet contacts that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by bridget thronton
Just shows support for the new folks coming here.
I had lots on FB before getting my page taken down.
Not sure why so I waited a month or so and created another one.
I never really kept an eye on how many "friends" I had.
It was a couple hundred give or take.
Sometimes life gets in the way. Work or family commitments wear you down until all you feel like doing is sitting in front of the television and zoning out. I work in a stressful environment and the last thing I want to do some nights is chit chat. We just finished a stretch of 60 hour weeks where I got up, went to work, came home, ate supper and got ready for bed. I don't mean to ignore people but I finally learned that if I don't take care of myself I am no good to anybody. Please forgive me if you are one of the friends I don't IM with a lot but I'm doing the best I can.
Yeah but your stamp collection will end up in your estate sale! Where as your friends may show up at your funeral! Lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverley Sims
I'm with Jennifer, I never understood the friend option. To me the forum is like one big social network where we are already friends.
The difference, and advantage you might say, to using the "friends" feature is that it gives you a bit of connection you might otherwise not have had. If receive a message from someone and they are among your friends it does not seem so quite out of the blue. I did more "friending" when I first began here, usually when someone said something in a post that resonated with me, or displayed one of my other than CD interests. That also goes vice versa when I send out a PM. Some may become real friends or virtual friends, and some you may not hear from for a while, but as for me I try to be more alert when I see a post from a friend. I continue to try to friend persons that make comments I can relate to or show interests we have in common... sure you could do that with anyone here, but friending give it a greater sense of familiarity. On flickr they call that "following" - and it's a bit more like that I think.
The many years here I read if not every post 99.9%. I read post and responds, you kind of get an idea of the person. If I get a nice feeling eventually, I ask to be friends. Like a lot of things here it's a wish list of the many girlfriends. (Women and friends ship is so different than men always have been jealous of that relationship)
I have reached out to many over the years for advice.
In the fast paced world we live in coming here. I appreciated a friend request after I had made a few comments and posts. Then when I stepped in the Doodoo making a comment that was blown way out proportion. I sought council of a friend here in the forum. We all need that someone to help get through the mud sometimes.