I'm thinking like passive father, domineering mother.
I'm thinking like passive father, domineering mother.
My family most definitely had an influence, but probably not the way they thought. To start with my older sister wanted a sister and called me a girl name when I was born, much to my dad's amusement, and when I was old enough to play with her, she dressed me up as a girl complete with wig. The family had pi?s of us like that and laughed about it. Later my mom owned a dress shop and I was surrounded with women's clothes and even went to the wholesalers when my mom was buying new fashions. So yeah, I think that may have had some influence on it. They probably didn't mean to and my dad wouldn't have supported it at all.
Those two family dynamics are incredibly out-dated, stereotypical notions. Of course, some individual might identify with those characteristics, but large bodies of research have pretty much demonstrated that the stereotypes are not valid.
As characters, no. They were vocally anti-LGBT to me, which I think was more a misguided effort to make me the perfect little boy and a proper man when I grew up.
They started too late. They should have started that before my mum used to as a model for her dressmaking business, and before they let my sister and friend dress me up in my sister's clothes.
Not at all . Agree with Kim as to the stereotypes.Trying mothers clothes as a child was definitely an influence.
Both my dressers had these very strange dysfunctional families .Very.
#1 very vacant, negative , ineffective father ..did as little as possible with the boys ( or anyone) and the mom had to teach them to do everything with him criticizing all of them yet not helping. Dad never went anywhere with them or showed any affection at all. Plus women in his country have become so domme that men are relegated to this odd status there . All 3 of the sons are really socially dysfunctional.
#2 Dad committed suicide when Kat was 7 or 9 ..and became substitute husband to an overbearing possessive mom that HATED OMG HATED men.. he was told over and over and over again how horrible in every way men were. She was actually very torn up over the loss of her husband but coped with it in an unhealthy manner with her son. Gender counselor didnt see the above ^^ as a problem though and is why I would never recommend one..ever.
I don't think that this is the only cause of GD in anyway but its one. I lived it.
No they did not.
Not in any way that I can think of. We were pretty much a normal, middle class family with no drama of any kind. Think of Leave It To Beaver and Mayberry.
More like mostly absent father, and feminizing mother. Dad worked all day and most evenings and weekends. Mom dressed me in my older sister's hand me downs; she didn't know what to do with a boy, as when she grew up in the depression her own mother had often left her in charge of her younger sisters.
When my dad came home from work for lunch early one day and found me in a dress, he blew a gasket and put a stop to that (for the most part). But mom still used my sister's underpants, with red and blue stripes sewn into their waistband, telling me that they were also 'Fruit of the Loom' briefs like my dad's, just that the label had been removed. But I knew the truth. Still, I didn't have much choice. I still wound up with a lot of my sister's hand-me-downs.
She would also often put off getting my hair cut, but as it was the sixties and the hippie movement was spreading, that wasn't noticed much.
At home I had a mother and three older sisters. My sisters use to dress me as a girl, plus some of my hand me downs were from my sisters.
I had a difficult family background and was horribly bullied at school (nothing to do with CDing) and it certainly was a kind of escape, but I don’t think I would have been draw to it if there wasn’t something innate pushing me that way.
VERY indirectly.
I had a father that I only remember as being either angry and verbally abusive, or drunk. Sometimes both.
I swore to myself that when I grew up, I'd be NOTHING like him. Maybe I took that oath a bit too far? :devil:
But no - there was no encouragement or feminizing behavior in my upbringing. Quite the opposite, in fact.
My feminine traits are all my own - it's who I've always been.
I think that may be a big part of why, my mother is pretty dominant and my father was passive. Also my mother really wanted a girl instead of a boy when I was born. My little sister was also spoiled so maybe I wanted to be more like her. No matter what influenced me, I now love and accept the way I am. Just wish my wife would be attracted to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pink_Butterfly
My mother was very domineering and my biological father abandoned us when I was about one. He came around sometimes and I tried to like him but ultimately failed. But, as Kim said, that aspect as being the cause has now been relegated to the very low probability list. Clearly it influences development, but it is not a cause. We are this way mostly because that is the way we are wired, however experiences are also a part of the development of that foundation.
My mother remarried when I was 6 and he had a bit of a masculinizing effect on me but it was only a modifier of what was already there. He was a good father and a very good person. I think they both knew that their son was a bit of a girl in some ways and tried to push the alternative with only moderate success. Probably explains why, when it comes to identity today, I am very much a 50-50 person - fairly androgynous psychologically.
my mother left her nylons and stuff making them.very accessible to me to feed my curiosity. had she not done that, i probably wouldn't be dressing now.
My parents were homophobic. The popular thinking in the 1960's was any man who wore women's clothing was a homosexual. Influence? It was beaten into my head that I was defective. Total confusion. How could a boy and then a young man do all the male things and have the male feelings that society deemed necessary and still have a desire to wear women's clothing and dabble with makeup? No internet, no publications. Contrary to the popular thinking of the current days, there was no way in hell that a man would divulge his secret to anyone, including a potential wife.
On a more positive side to your query I'd say I am a product of those times (1950's and 1960's) as I only wear dresses with all the proper undergarments. At least in my neighborhood all the women wore dresses. I do remember some women making snide comments about the one woman who wore pants. And, she was also divorced. Yikes! Heaven forbid a woman was divorced. I watched "Leave It to Beaver" and "Ozzie and Harriet" where June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson probably influenced me more than anyone else. I think the other woman who has influenced me in my interest in dresses has been Vanna White of "Wheel of Fortune." With all, it was and has been dresses and heels.
An older brother dared me to put on a bra and stuff the cups when I was 6-ish. So yeah that was the first domino that fell. It wasn't long before I thought; what would I look like if I wore an entire women's outfit?
So yes I was affected by my family!
For me it was my Mom and sisters. My Dad passed away when I was 2 years old. My Aunt moved in with us to help my mom raise us. I had 2 older sister's so my aunt was a great help. We didn't have much money so I got all of my sister's hand-me-downs. My mom work during the day so my aunt took care of us while she worked. My Aunt let my hair grow long, she said that I would look more like my sister's that way. We all had blonde hair. She always dressed me in the morning in either a dress or shorts and a top. I had my own panties but had to wear my sister's bras. She and my mom would always say they had 3 daughters. My sisters would teach me about girly stuff and eventually my makeup. So for me that's how it all started. My sister's still call me their little sis. Love them all.
Melony sounds like you have a very loving and understanding family!
Mother always told me I was supposed to have been born a girl. Started dressing when I was 7, just after my sister was born. Father was always working and never around much. They divorced when I was 9 or 10. Mom always wore dresses with girdles and stockings. We were about the same size and I would borrower her clothes while she was at work. My grandmother also had the best collection of old fashion girdles and corsets which I had access to when she was working.
My mother and her girlfriends dressed me up for a Haloween party won first prize!
Never looked back except for military years (4).
That was 60 years ago.
My family of origin played absolutely no role in my crossdressing. Having no sisters, the notion of trying on my mother's garments never even crossed my mind as a child or teen. My wife's lovely appearance in her makeup and clothes were my catalyst.
I started dressing in my mom's and sisters' things around age 8. My parents were religious and homophobic and caught me a couple of times. I was humiliated and punished but that only fueled my desire to dress. During my childhood, we lived in a very dense urban neighborhood and we had a neighbor next door who was an older widower. He spoke with my dad often and had a garage workshop where he spent a lot of time making furniture. He showed me how to use some tools and make basic things, and I would often go over to help him with smaller projects. Obviously, in hindsight, Im sure I wasnt very helpful but I digress. One summer, home alone, I ventured into my yard wearing a dress, hose, and heels. I was only out there for a few minutes but it was long enough for old man neighbor to spot me. A few days later, I was in his workshop sanding a bookcase and he let me know that he saw me. He changed the subject quickly when I almost fainted in terror. About an hour later, when I was about to leave, he said I could dress as I pleased when I came over. Clearly this was an entirely pervy and inappropriate thing to discuss with a minor but what did I know? Let's just say that the neighbor didn't seem to mind having his neighbors' teen son come over, put on a dress, and hang out for a while. This happened three times until I was grounded by my father for an unrelated thing and never went back.
My dad dressed a little. I guess I got it from him. He never knew I knew he dressed.:hugs:
Angie
My family played absolutely zero role other than, yes, I had 2 older sisters and a mother. As a teenager, after my sisters had gone off to college and my Mom was at work, I would come home from school and had the house and all of their clothes to myself for a few hours.
When it comes to nurture (nature or nurture) neither my parents, older brother, extended family, nor friends played an active or passive role in my crossdressing. As a preadolescence/adolescent I crossdressed in secret with the few things of my mom's that I could find that fit. Only once, in the most indirect way, did my mom indicate she thought I was trying on her things. I somehow knew that crossdressing would never be acceptable in my neck-of-the-woods, in the 1960s.
Nope had zero influence on my crossdressing.
I have wondered about it for years. I know that I very much admired my mom and always felt way more comfortable being around her than being around my father, especially when I was younger. I also remember my mother and some of her female friends and relatives saying that I had such beautiful hair that I should have been a girl or that it was a waste that I wasn’t a girl. It wasn’t said derogatory or with malice but it definitely stuck in my head.
Not at all. When I was in elementary grades in a consolidated school, I found myself attracted to the High Schools girls in their late 50s and early 60s clothes and makeup. A drastic difference between them and my rather simply dressed mother and younger sister. I had both a "fear" and "Fascination" about them.
I am eternally grateful to have a sister, who even though I never knew anything, helped me by unintentionally lending me her bras.
I don't think it would look very good in Mom's bras...
I often like to think that yes, parents infuenced this, father is very emotionless, submissive, mother was always loud and angry. And I have 2 sisters, when I was little I thought my older sister was magical fairy who could fly, I ofter had such dreams.
I am still trying to figure out some of the dysfunction in my family, there was a lack of supervision that led to a lot of problems. I had three older brothers and was often chided about my parents trying for a girl. I was smaller/weaker, bullied, often picked on about being feminine, called a girls name, etc Maybe they all saw it in me before I ever did, but the stage was set. It was one of the pervy neighborhood boys that first put me in a dress. After we did that a few times, I was loving it!
I admired my mom and her sister as persons and wasn't as close to my dad nor did I look up to his social attitudes. He walked around the house naked, my mom did not, I had to peek and I liked what I saw. I really wanted to look and act like her!
Karen,
Did you ever get caught? I was talking with my wife last night about all of the dressing I did growing up. I can't believe I never got caught, that I know of.
Tracy
Not sure if it influenced much, but in my early days of life... I was surrouned by my mothers toys including barbie dolls and such. I had alot of girly toys when I was growing up. By time I got into school, I started playing more with more boy toys. My grandparents (I lived with them my whole time growing up) didn't seem to care that I played with girl toys and such. I never exposed to them that I had an interest in dressing up as a woman (although I came close one Halloween), but who knows... they probably would have supported it as they supported pretty much everything I was into or did.
My mother did sewing and alterations for money to help the family income. Once I got big enough I started getting used as the dress dummy. I hated it at first, but then all the soft fabrics got the best of me. Once it was noticed that I was enjoying the part way too much, my mother found a dress mannequin from a second hand store.
After that a female cousin had apparently overheard my mother telling my aunt about me and offered to help me dress. She had great makeup skills and I could easily pass until full blown puberty hit.
Well, they provided the dresses and the makeup... :heehee:
My mother wore nylon granny panties. To her they were probably utilitarian, no prints or patterns, but to me they were perfect. If my mother's underwear was cotton like mine, I am sure I would have shown no interest.
Other than that, totally normal childhood.
Thank you JadeQuote:
Originally Posted by Jade P
Not in a positive way. My parents influence led to many years of denial, guilt, and shame. My ex-wife helped me start to overcome those feelings, but I never really started to accept myself as transgendered until I was 58 years old, five years after my marriage failed for other reasons.