My journey as a crossdresser
First of all sorry for the long post! I'm new at this forum.
I grew up in the 60's and 70's alone with my both parents. My dad worked a lot in different shifts and beacuse my mom was a housewife at the time I was spending most of the time with her.
Every time as soon as she had plans to leave home my mother always "dressed properly" . That meant girdle, nylonstockings, petticoat, high heels, makeup, jewelry, a dress and maybe a coat. On these occasions it happened, before I left for school, that I had to help her fasten the nylonstockings to her OBG. The reason why I had to help her was that she developed rheumatism early on with pain in her fingers and had difficulty fasten the stockings herself. This started around the time I was 6-7 years until I was 15 when it stopped abruptly. It was during these years that my fascination with lingerie and nylonstockings took off in a way that I probably didn't fully understand until I was approaching my teenage years.
I mostly had women around me in everyday life, because most of the time I was with my mother when she visited or was visited by female friends or relatives. These women including my mother followed the fashion of short dresses/skirts but they still wore nylonstockings. I once overheard them talk about pantyhose and they all simply did not like them at all at the time.
When they sat down with their legs crossed, bent down or reached up for something, I could not avoid seeing their stocking collars fastened with garters.
And my fascination with nylonstockings did not diminish with this constantly in front of my eyes.
By the time I was 12 my mother had started working again so I had quite a lot of time to myself. So one day I couldn't resist my thoughts and desires and therefore started looking curiously in my mother's dresser and closet.
I picked up one of her open bottom girdles, a pair of nylonstockings and one of her tight skirts and put it all on. I was tall for my age and it fitted pretty well.
It was a strange sensual feeling to see my nylon clad legs under the skirt, to feel the OBG hugging my hips and stomach, to see the bulges of the garter buttons under the skirt fabric. But I couldn't help it, I loved the feeling. Nor can I deny that there was a sexual charge in putting on nylons. Afterwards, however, I felt bad with a lot of shame about how this had developed. But I was hooked, there was no turning back, and I continued to dress as a woman regularly as soon as the opportunity arose.
Then the day came I feared the most, when I was exposed at the age of 15! Mom came home earlier than expected and there I was in the hall, again wearing one of her girdles, nylonstockings and a skirt when the key was turned! In a flash, I rushed into the bathroom and locked myself in.
I tore everything off and threw it in the laundry basket in an attempt to hide it all and take care of that later. Luckily I had my own clothes left on the bathroom floor so I could change before I came back out.
Moments later, mom called on me from the bathroom. When I got there she glared at me and pointed down into the laundry basket.
- What is this? - Have you used my stockings and skirt?
I admitted right away. She was furious and I got a couple of slaps on my cheek that felt, I promise!
Despondent, I rushed back to my room crying.
After a moment that felt like an eternity, she came and took me to the kitchen where we sat down. She asked why I did this and how long I had been doing it.
With tears streaming down my face, I admitted that I had been borrowing her clothes for a couple of years. I tried to explain that I just really liked the feeling it gave me to put on nylonstockings and a tight skirt that moved over my legs.
That I have been fascinated by nylon stockings since I started helping her fasten her stockings. But I didn't dare to tell the whole truth that I for a long time had been looking with interest at all the nylon-clad legs in my surroundings of my mother's female friends and relatives.
Mom was still furious,
- I never want you to dress like this again.
- It's completely wrong to behave like this - you're a boy!
- And you don't touch my clothes ever again!
- This now stays between you and me, and lucky for you I will not talk about it with your father!
I promised to stop immediately! We never talked about again and now both my parents sadly are gone.
From that day on, I never got to help her with her nylonstockings, and that was just as well. As far as I know, she never bought nylonstockings again, but switched to pantyhose to be able to dress her legs herself. I don't know, but maybe she understood that her innocent wish for help with the stockings contributed me to wanting to try it myself.
Despite the promise to mom, I of course couldn't stop thinking how the feeling of wearing nylon stockings and a skirt made me lustful and happy. Since I could no longer "borrow" clothes, I took my saved money, went to the local clothing store and in a year I had bought nylonstockings, an open bottom girdle, panties and a skirt and stashed it in a box hidden in my closet. I'll never forget how nervous I was the first time I shopped for myself, but it went well. Perhaps they thought it was for my mom.
I continued to surreptitiously crossdressing whenever I got the chance for many years.
Time passed and I was engaged to my girlfriend and when we started living together in our own apartment I shared my secret with her almost immediaetly. Can't believe I dared! Would she leave me or not? She thought it was a bit kinky, but she took it well, she thought it was no big deal. And she promised to support me. This was in the 80's and she always prefered to wear garterbelt and nylonstockings herself when she had a dress or skirt on, much to my delight. So the first thing she did support me with was to give me a few pairs of her own nylonstockings. What a girl!
We talked about it a lot at the beginning of our relationship. We also laughed a lot about it and she loved to tease me about my "hobby". -You are who you are, she usually told me, when I got anxious about my crossdressing. She has told me several times that she cannot or does not want to change the fact that I regurlarly like to dress as a woman.
She has offered taste advice on several occasions, we have shopped female clothes for me together and she has even helped me put on my make up. Thanks to an understanding and wise woman, it worked well and still does today. I have been married to this beautiful woman for 40 years now and we have two wonderful daughters.
But I did not dare to reveal to my daughters or to my mother in law that I am a cross-dresser. Did not dare think about how they would treat me in that matter.
Some years ago, one of our daugthers, who was 19 years old at the time, wanted to sit down and talk with the whole family. She revealed that she intended to participate in our first local Pride Festival and that she is a lesbian! We had no idea! So brave of her to speak about this. You become so proud as a parent! And of course the whole family supported her.
The day before the festival train, the whole family talked a little more about this and when the conversation was over, I was burdened by not being able to tell about my own secret. My wife saw this and she gave me a look and said - Isn't it time now, old man, to tell?
To my surprise, I shakily began to tell my whole crossdressing story. I was so relieved that I released this to my beloved daugthers that I shed a little tear and I got big hugs from both of my girls.
They had no problem at all accepting my crossdressing and they could well understand why I enjoy wearing nice looking female clothes and especially nylon stockings. You automatically get a sensual feeling, that's just the way it is, said our wise 19 year old girl! They both urged me to immediately go and change, which amazingly I did!
When I came down again they thought I looked really cute. They also said that I can change as often as I need to as they prefer a calm and harmonious father instead of one who is grumpy and cross.
Now that I took this step, it meant to my horror that I also had to come out of the closet in front of my mother in law! Now when I was able to crossdress any time at home I could be caught fully dressed by her as she pay us visits 2-3 times a week.
Took me a lot of courage a few days later to tell her everything for a few hours at her place. She was of course surprised and she had some questions of course which I tried to answer, but above all she thought it was a small trifle!
- But why haven't you said anything before?
- Don't you trust me?
I had to admit that I had been too cowardly, terrified and simply ashamed. She was also impressed by her daughter that had not said a word for so many years!
A couple of days later we invited her for dinner and she accepted if I promised that I was fully dressed as a woman. This was the first time she saw me fully dressed with a bra, OBG, stockings, dress, makeup, artificial red fingernails, jewelry, wig and high heels. The whole kit! She immedatly smiled, gave me a hug and told the family that from now on we all should call me Eva!
What a wonderful and modern mother-in-law I have! Happiness!
But it really had been some intence days with a lot of emotions all over the place for the whole family!
My whole family now take every chance to tease me a little about Eva as soon as the opportunity arises, but I only see that as a positive thing, because then I feel seen and confirmed as Eva! So occasionally the question comes when Eva will come to visit us again.
Now I always have painted toenails, wear all kinds of jewelry along with artificial painted fingernails as often as I can.
I wear nylon knee high socks or OBG with nylonstockings and panties every day under my jeans.
Every time I meet my mother in law now, she looks down at my nylon clad feet to check what color my toenails have this time and tell me if she like it or not.
She is so funny that lady.
Both my wife and I always sleep together in silky nightgowns.
Two or three times a month I go all the way with the whole kit as Eva!
But of course I must say that I also occasionally love to dress properly as a man!
I feel so lucky in both my roles!
