Bras and self acceptance

This is going to be another book, so if you don't like reading long posts, skip merrily along by :)

There was a thread somewhat recently where the question was asked about what everyone's favorite item of femme attire was. A lot of the answers were bras. For me, it's always been pantyhose and that's what I answered. But, the bra answer got me thinking. I have a bra; it's the only bra I've ever owned. It doesn't fit well, and it never really felt all that great. I've worn it on occasion, but never very much. Just not my favorite article of femme clothing, and I don't feel more femme really with it on.

That all recently changed, thanks to that thread. Holy wow did it change.

I've recently re-measured myself in every dimension apropos to clothing, both men and women. That included sizing myself for a new bra. I figured if I got a bra that actually fit then I would have a better understanding of whether I liked them or not. I don't have very large breasts, but based on measurements I should be able to wear a 42B comfortably without inserts. I did some online shopping, getting an idea of what I liked and didn't like. One thing I definitely don't like is wire free bras. They just look wrong to me for myself.

My wife (very accepting and supportive) and I took a trip recently and were staying in a major city for some days. While there, we did a fair bit of shopping in a variety of stores. Most of the time I was with my wife, but sometimes not; there was a particular store where she went a couple of times for quite a while and where I was bored, so I went shopping on my own. We kept looking for 42B bras. It seems in stores there are no women larger than 40. Between my wife and I we must have gone through over a thousand bras without finding a single 42-anything bra, much less a 42B. Finally, at her suggestion we got a 40C bra for me, operating under the supposed principle that one band size less and one cup size larger sometimes fits. So it fit, but it was a fair bit too tight in the band. Not uncomfortable for a relatively short while, but after a couple of hours it was a bit much. But, it fit better than my only other bra. So then the search continued looking for a 42B, but I also was looking for a 3 hook bra extender. I found both in one store! I couldn't believe it! Both the first new bra with extender and the new 42B fit fantastically, and I absolutely fell in love with them. I suddenly knew what all the fuss was about! I NOW LOVE BRAS! My wife even noted that I was occasionally touching my breasts with the bra on while driving lol!

Back this past spring, I had a long post about getting out in public while wearing anything femme. On this trip, when I got the first bra I put it on in the bathroom of a mall and walked around the mall while my wife was at the store she loved. I did some shopping. I knew the bra straps couldn't easily be detected from the front, as I had a sweatshirt on, but I suspected (and confirmed with my wife later) that the straps could be seen from the back at least a bit. I did my shopping anyway, and felt invigorated by it all, knowing people behind me likely could tell. The chances of me being seen by someone I knew were effectively zero (just too far from home), and the chances of something significantly negative happening were also effectively zero. That was the key; safety.

My wife and I have a few ground rules about my crossdressing. One of them is not in public in places where people we know might see. With her permission, I violated that early this evening, not long after sunset. The town where we live gets pretty quiet around Christmas time, and snow was coming down. I took the opportunity to go for a walk in a pair of heels. I walked about 3/4ths of a mile. I went into a public building and used a restroom (I was getting pretty desperate!). In all of it, I encountered no other pedestrians. But, I don't think I would have cared too much if I did.

I think a new mode is being entered. The run-to-the-storm confidence I have in other aspects of my life is now edging its way finally into the CDing aspects of my life. It's almost a relief. So much of the self acceptance journey is about self hate, self doubt. Getting that confidence is finally saying screw you to the gnawing doubt that's frequently there instead.

I'm also having to resist the urge to buy up all the bras I see online that I think look awesome :) I did buy two sets of gel inserts though, one small and one large. The large ones especially help to properly fill out the 40C bra that's now effectively a 42C bra with the extenders. Oh that feels fantastic!

Welcome to the wonderful world of bras. I recently purchased one thru Amazon that I absolutely love. The best part is it cost less than $15.00. Now comes the issue. Do I buy a couple more in other colors that I don't need or just be happy with the 10 lace bralettes and 10 underwire bras I already have? I'm betting I have a couple of new bras in my not so distant future.

Online shopping has been best for me to find out that a 46a works best form me without forms. Glad you found a bra that fits Sith an extender.

Great story, Julie. I am so glad it had a happy ending. Wait, that was not the end, you have many more adventures ahead!

Funny timing with your bra story I just measured my self yesterday to confirm my natural size looks like a B cup. Very exciting hopefully my aging can boost me to a C cup someday.

Ah oh, Julie. Now you have gone and done it! :battingeyelashes: Congrats on achieving the level of realizing a well fitting bra is a wondrous thing. To some panties and panty hose are the one thing that allows that need to intimately feel female-like. Like you, a bra, with or without forms, is the ultimate sensation that satisfies that need to present what is inside my brain outside my body. Add a flowery top and a skirt increases the comfort even more - the rest is just fine tuning.

Julie, I'm glad you, with permission, got to go out locally.

One of the more marriage-damaging things I ever did was wearing a bra, every day, every where, with all kinds of shirts, visible or not.

I've gone through phases, and the bra (in male mode) phase was a serious one, and a mistake. I had a reason when I first started, and my wife helped me pick out my first male mode bra. For some unknown reason (I was only about 40 and had not gained weight) my boobs had gotten bigger and my nipples were chapped and sore all the time from rubbing on my shirt. Most guys would use Band-Aids. For me it just made a semi-legitimate excuse to wear a bra. I started with a sports bra and, as anyone on here would predict, quickly morphed into whatever suited my fancy. Soon any thought of wearing a plain sports bra was long gone.

Sometimes I flaunted it, sometimes I didn't. Most of the time I acted as if I could turn the detectability up and down at will. I experimented with every push-up bra on the market and finally found one that worked phenomenally well (I don't know what it was). My wife was in the bedroom and I opened the bathroom door and said, "Can you believe this is all ME!!". She looked like she'd seen some terrible accident.

I thought I gone undetected at work, for instance, even though I wore polo shirts most of the year. Nobody ever said anything about it when I was doing it. Years later I learned that essentially everybody knew I was wearing a bra. They didn't say anything to me, but they did say things to my wife. She didn't tell me at the time. Years later she told me that she thought that's just the way it was going to be, and I wasn't even trying to hide it from anyone. I did that for a year and a half. I don't know why I stopped. I shouldn't have ever started. I didn't get that much out of it. Not that it wasn't cool as hell. I passed the pencil test, and the thought that I legitimately "needed" a bra... I mean, for me that was mind-blowingly cool!! The fact that the need didn't go away when I wasn't dressed, putting on a bra every day when I got dressed and seeing my own boobs displayed that way... it was a BIG deal to me. It was a big deal to my wife, too. It was another thing that solidified her long-held belief that I was transitioning. Given all the other evidence, that seemed an obvious conclusion.

Don't get carried away.

Rhonda, thanks for the word of caution! My wife and I do communicate on the subject of crossdressing fairly frequently. We do have some ground rules that I don't violate without permission from her. Last night was one; it was a fairly unique situation and opportunity to walk around our town in heels. It's unlikely to be repeated. In general, I don't do anything here in town that would chance being discovered. That includes at work. I've worn pantyhose and tights to work, as well as panties, but nothing beyond that during regular business hours. I have been completely crossdressed in my office, with the door locked, on a weekend, with the webcam disconnected.

My wife is supportive. Sometimes I think she's more supportive of me being in public than I am! Nevertheless, we keep the lines of communication very open.

CeCe; I do hope to have many adventures ahead :) Just not here in town. The next 'mission' is to go to a movie with my wife while crossdressed partially. This would be well out of town.

And thank you everyone for your words of encouragement!

Julie congratsd on finding the right combination that works for you when it comes to wearing a bra. I have yet to find a bra that fits comfortably, though I have managed to find a sports bra that I can fit the B cup forms into and fel comfortable in. I love looking down and seeing the forms in the sports bra, whether I'm wearing just it with shorts or with a top over it and shorts.

Julie,

The number one item of female attire that makes me feel the most feminine is my bra with forms inserted. No matter how many times I have put one on, it is still a thrill every single time. I am lucky in that the first bra I tried, a Bali underwire t-shirt 40B bra, fit me perfectly and now I have a drawer full of various colors. I am also one of those who occasionally finds myself unconsciously caressing my boobs while driving. I love the feeling of wearing a bra.

Diane; yeah, I love actually being able to see form. I've always been able to make myself look femme from the waist down. That's easy. Waist up, not so much. Now with the bra and forms, I'm suddenly Julie!

Fiona; I'm trying hard to resist ringing up a several hundred dollar bra bill :eek: I think my wife, as supportive as she is, might kill me :) To paraphrase your tag line at the end of your post; "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm wearing a bra!" :)

I am very happy for you, it sounds like you had a lot of fun. Brenda

I understand the feeling of wearing a bra! My absolute favorite article of women?s clothing to wear especially when the cups are filled with forms!

I have a question, let me explain first. I spent part of last evening wearing my forms. Decided as I was going to bed to keep them on overnight. Got up this morning and had to take them off, as I was going somewhere with a friend who doesn't know I crossdress, and would probably be shocked to learn that I do. My question is this, is it weird that I felt naked after taking the forms off? They were so comfortable last night, overnight and now that I have them on again. I agree with Joanne that this is might be my favorite article of women's clothing. In fact I ordered more forms, from Amazon, and a bra, from En Femme. I can hardly wait for them all to get here!

hello Julie,
I am a natural size 44AA. Some XL Bralets fit nicely with a extender to make them XXL (UK Sizes).
But I cannot find a 44AA bra or even a 44A bra in the shops So I have to buy 44C or D or larger ones and fill them with falsies.
It is a nice problem to have!
luv J

Julie, it seems as if you have discovered the wonderful world of bras, and now there is no going back. The very first time I ever put on a bra, it felt so amazing and feminine and girly. Every time I strap one on, I hate to have to take it off. To me, a bra was the prominent article of women's clothing you can get, because when you think "bra", you think "woman". I constantly think about what my life would've been like had I decided not to start wearing bras, and I am so glad I found bras! They are to me the best thing you can wear, and why not? They feel so good!
I have what you might call a crazy obsession with bras, meaning that I like all kinds of bras, especially if it makes me look sexy. I shop at Victoria's Secret all the time. When I walk into the store, everyone knows me and are very happy to see me. I don't just go in and purchase something, I talk with them about the lingerie, mainly bras. That makes me feel even more great about my feminine self. I'm a 38DD but a 38D will work too.

Rainbow; yeah, I know the feeling :) I really don't want to take my bra off when I have one on. Since getting back from our trip out of town (~month ago now), I've had precious little opportunity to wear a bra. :( I may have some opportunities over the new few days. We'll see. I'm hoping to go for a drive a few counties away and get some photography stuff done that I've been meaning to do. I'm planning on doing so fully en femme, though in MIAD mode. I don't as yet have a wig. At any rate, I'll be able to wear a bra for a bunch of hours. Really looking forward to it! My kids are nearing ages where they may move out. I'd love for them to stay, but it's better for them to go and live their lives. One of the few benefits of them moving out is I will be able to wear a bra whenever I want. That might be a lot of the time :) My wife is very supportive thankfully!

it is invigorating

Self acceptance is a road that we all walk at different speeds. When you get there it is great. I am there I have no guilt, shame or any negative thoughts about myself. Keep working at it it is a great feeling be yourself.

This talk about bras that actually fit made me think. I have plenty of bras for my forms but none that fit just me.

Well, I am a person of action. I ordered 3 bras from Macy's in 42B size. I have received 1 in the mail so far. It feels very different from wearing a bra and forms. It fits me. I can pretty much fill the B cup and it feels wonderful. I can even see my nipples protrude through the bra. It is quite a sensation. And as a plus I can wear this in drab mode too.

Thank you to whoever brought this subject up and I am grateful I had the sense to read it.

Natalie

I?ve always worn a bra, favoring hose and panties, but doing so was no big deal, until fairly recently. Bras have taken over as my most favorite underwear. I wear a bra daily and, yes, hate to take it off at night, sometimes leaving it on. Fortunately, like Natalie, I found the perfect bra, yes, it?s an underwire, but oh, so comfortable. I told my wife. She just rolled her eyes.

Julie, Thank you for posting this! I measured today and all my current bras are too small. By my measurements I need a 42C. Now let's see what i can find!

I love bras! I started out just wearing panties because they are easy to hide. When I put on a bra for the first time I felt totally feminine. It was great but also confusing since I was still in elementary school. Ever since though bras are the first item I put on and the last to take off. I don?t feel feminine unless I?m wearing one. It feels right and also looks right in the mirror. I measured at a 38A but I?m wearing a 36B. Depending on the type of bra I can fill it naturally. I?m wearing a regular bra right now with no padding or lift and I fill it so it looks right and feels oh so good.

I love to wear a bra but only when dressed feminine. It?s all about tops/dresses fitting better but I do love the sensation it gives me.

I wear a bra all the time. I have expanded myself to a 36 D cup, so I need some support and like to project myself.

I favour unpadded underwired bras, as I like the uplift without any nipple compression.

I wear a tight band and tight bra straps, as I want to maximise my bust and to feel tightly brassieried with a wobbly top.

I love bras! When I first started crossdressing when I was about 12 or 13 they were like the holy grail to me. I first started taking my mom?s bra from her dresser drawer and since they were a 36 B I had to pad it out with socks or toilet paper. But after that I?d put my shirt on and the feeling was amazing!

Now that I?m 34 and on the heavier side I?m more able to fill up a bra on my own I?m up to a 42 C. Now when I put it on and slip on my shirt I love the feel and look of my small and natural bust.

I love bras too and being an English girl I buy them on line from Marks and Spencer. I am lucky that I am naturally ample on top, but I do also have also bought boobs on line as well to enhance my look. I think that bras just emphasise our femininity

I finally managed to get a bra that just about fits me, a 42A. It feels soooo comfortable and natural to be wearing it. I plan on wearing in as much as possible, even undressed with my bikini panties. It's still a little big so I ordered a 42AA, which will be in some where between Feb 13 - Mar 4th. So until then I'll wear this as much as possible.