You need a girlfriend

Hello the outher day i went to visit my mouther
Now i am more Wendy than "him" i try to "man" it up bit when i visit her...this time i failed lol womens jeans socks shoes and work boots and a sweat shirt of corse sports bra and panties under...my long blonde hair in a high pony..



I brought coffee and muffins we talked for a while we talked abought every thing including abought my wife who passed away...as i was getting ready to go home she said you need a hair cut and need to dress and look more like a man.... then she said you needed get out more "you need a girlfriend... that would stop your girl thing ...

Well so much for trying to "man " up over moms

I suppose having a girl friend might get you a shopping buddy

Having THE RIGHT girlfriend who understands and accepts would be great. Obviously, Mom does not.

Boy does this ring a bell lost my wife and best friend of 52 yrs. 8 months ago. She fought brain cancer for the last 2 yrs. We went out together dressed shopping,dinners and she loved casinos. My kids, 52 and 50 give hell about my hair, I donate every couple of years and have not cut hair since covid hit. They do not know of Grace but make remarks about my looks. Never did when my wife was still alive. It's hard to take all the losses of the last 2yrs. lost wife, brother, sister-in-law,my family business of 62 yrs.and my dog died a day before my birthday. Sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you.

I quit dating when I was about your age, Wendy. The older women I met in America were all damaged goods and, the younger ones just wanted $$$!

The women over seas were all desperate to get married and move here!

About then I decided Sherry was the sexiest and most compatible date available for me!:hugs:

Wendy, the good thing is that she cares, the rest looks to be a work in progress!

I was caught by my mom, was not a good scene and never got any better.

Hi so sorry to hear of your wife passing and also to hear of Graces loss. I would be lost without my wife. Keep those happy memories of being together and if and when you think you can move on remember there are some great women out there who could be your next soulmate.

Darn, maybe its easier just to be divorced.

I honestly do not have any interest in striking up a new relationship. Usually, its not just the relationship to deal with. There are also family and friends that come along with it. And honestly, if I had to go back into the closet on a daily basis, I would not enjoy my life very much.

Your mom was trying to be encouraging and helpful, but she is also from a time when even a miserable marriage was considered better than being alone.

Wendy and Grace I'm right there with you. I lost my wife of 27 years Jul 5th of last year. Wendy, I'd have to agree with Kim that it sounds like your mother is of the generation that considered even a bad marriage better than being alone.

Also as Kim said I'm not certain about striking up a new relationship, though a friend told me that their neighbor was already trying to fix me up with someone. If I were to get into another relationship, and it eventually got serious, my crossdressing would need to be discussed. I wouldn't want to go into another relationship having to hide who I truly am. The only cross dressing I did while my wife and I were married was under dress in bikini panties, that were safely hidden, for the last 20 years. My serious cross dressing, dresses, nightgowns, bras, etc. only started in Sep when two thought slipped into my head. The first was "I wonder what I'd look like in a dress" which is something I had never thought about before. The second was "Transforming Dean into Diane" which is how my feminine half introduced herself to me. Think what you will about that.

Hi Wendy

I know your mother is trying help.

You only need a girlfriend if that's what you want.

You don't need a haircut to man up, but you should lower your ponytail if that's the intent. And I would never wear a bra around someone who might conceivably want to give me a hug unless I want that person to know.

As for dating again, that's completely up to you. I've known widowers who got remarried 6 months after their wives passed, and others who never dated again. I can't say what I would do, hopefully I'll never find out.

Wendy, I'm sorry about your wife passing. If I was single again, not something I foresee, I'd go forward solo.

Wendy,
I lost my wife of almost 43 years last year and I don't know if will date again. If I do date, I doubt if I will find someone who was as approving and enjoyed my dressing as much as my late wife did. That happening probably has the same odds of winning the lottery. I would like to find someone to share the rest of my life with but I doubt that will happen.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

I quit dating when I was about your age, Wendy. The older women I met in America were all damaged goods and, the younger ones just wanted $$$!

The women over seas were all desperate to get married and move here!

About then I decided Sherry was the sexiest and most compatible date available for me!:hugs:

---

No offense Doc. I used to think like that, until a really good friend of mine said to me "ask yourself what is so F'ed up with me that I am attracted to women like that?" That question rocked my world and I did speak to him for a week. :) I have had far more problems with men in my life than women. Whether that is men in family, at work, or male friends etc than women. That's just my experience though.

My wife is pretty amazing and keeps me in check. Thank God.

Mom's can be interesting sometimes, That was Cute.

This thread got me thinking. If I ever lose my wife, I do not know what I would do other than stay in more. Probably dress much more than 2 -3 times a week.

And if I ever got a date thing going, she would meet Natalie in the first month or so. If she balked, I would walk.

It is a great thing my wife is in very good shape and she pushes me to go cycle and hit the gym. It looks like we are doing all right.

Sorry for your loss.

Don't let this discourage your search for a girlfriend if that's something you want in your life. Be up front and be open but don't think you can't find someone because of it. Years ago my biggest fear if I transitioned would be ending up alone for the rest of my life. So I didn't transition and here I am alone for most of my life. LOL at least the last 20 years. It's mostly my own fault for not trying there's definitely missed opportunities. Just saying you can have your cake and eat it too. I know that's what not what your mom meant but she's concerned for you living life alone as well as the rest of this. Don't think for a moment you have to be alone or give this up.

I've decided to transition to presenting female all the time before dating again.
My female presentation is a lot more attractive!

Sorry to hear of your loss, but remember as long as you have the wonderful memories with you she is always with you. Take care
Hugs Rach

This is the biggest thing that I am hesitant on sharing with my mom. I keep telling myself its not the season yet for me to break it to her. I know she will not judge because when I came out and told her other things she was very supportive. Right now I just keep it to myself because my step dad who is hardcore and veteran like myself who is a veteran also . Other than that I am just figuring out my girly identity and just embracing it every day. Honestly girlfriends do make a difference when it comes to just having someone to talk to. Remember the older generation is stuck in ways which we as a society are having to repair. Keep your head up it will get better. :cheer::cheer::cheer:

By the way don't worry about manning up at moms, being happy in your own skin is the most important thing.

Ignorance abounds.
It may sound glib, but this was a teaching moment. It may fall on deaf ears, but unless we take every opportunity to dispel the many misunderstandings around TG people, we are responsible, at least in part, for that ignorance.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly

Ignorance abounds.
It may sound glib, but this was a teaching moment. It may fall on deaf ears, but unless we take every opportunity to dispel the many misunderstandings around TG people, we are responsible, at least in part, for that ignorance.

---

I agree with you on this statement. I was once ignorant I believe honestly I was fighting myself from age 22 until 35. I woke up at 3 am last week and was like you know what I am going to let my sissy side come out more. Now that I have allowed myself to embrace myself I am comfy with myself. I also want to add the Taboo of grown ups wanting to embrace a side of them is a topic of we store it in the closet and not bring it up.

Again going from ignorant to now sissy like is not a phase or join the herd, instead inside of my heart I feel as if the true me is coming out.:cute::cute::cute:

Should have said that you were your own girlfriend!

Hey thanks everyone more girls in the same position than I think I am Wendy that’s not going anywhere. I love my Wendy side if I do date or entertain the ideas of having a relationship for sure it would have to be the 3 of us
New women / girlfriend / so / wife? And Wendy / him … not sure we’re I am going at this point even a “hook up” has its own “issues “ I wear a bra everyday as my boobs are a real thing and panties also this next part of my life going to be totally different….

It will be 20 years this October with my girlfriend. So tell mom it doesn't help make that crossdressing/trans stuff go away.

Your mom was right?just not in the way she perhaps meant. As a MTF CD or transwoman it really helps to have girlfriends to help learn makeup, choose flattering clothing, go out for coffee, shopping, dinner and drinks, and to talk through life?s challenges!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kitty Sue

No offense Doc. I used to think like that, until a really good friend of mine said to me "ask yourself what is so F'ed up with me that I am attracted to women like that?" That question rocked my world and I did speak to him for a week. :) I have had far more problems with men in my life than women. Whether that is men in family, at work, or male friends etc than women. That's just my experience though.
My wife is pretty amazing and keeps me in check. Thank God.

---

Your post confused me, Kitty Sue. Do u mean u have problems dating men as Kitty Sue? But, why r u dating if you're married?:eek:

If u mean that American men r no bargain? I agree! Foreign women say American men r the most insecure males on the planet!:doh:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Should have said that you were your own girlfriend!

---

Maybe she isn't, Karren? But, I readily admit Sherry's mine!:o