Outed At The Gas Station

Okay. Here's the situation...

Last night I'm leaving home, driving 300 miles to go ride my mountain bike. My car is fairly recognizable. My bike is too, and it's hanging on the back of my car.

I decided to make the trip enfemme, so I'm fully dressed up and looking super cute. 80 miles away from home I stopped to fill up at a gas station. No problem. I go in and get a fountain drink for the trip. I get back in the car and continue to my destination.

Side Note: Checking in the hotel I give the woman my male driver's license and my credit card. She looks at my license, looks at me and says " you don't look like the person in the picture". I tell her I'm much prettier in person! She smiled big and we both laughed. She was really nice. So no issues there. Just a fun anecdote. :)

So anyway, today (in DRAB) I start my mountain bike ride. I took a picture at the beginning and posted it to my male Facebook page. That's where the potential trouble begins LOL

About 30 minutes later I check facebook. A guy I've known for a long time posts the comment "Were you stopped to get gas in (town name redacted)?"

WHAAAATTTT???

Tricia, Damn, it really is a small world. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

I NEVER mix my guy Face Book Profile stuff with my Sherry Profile stuff! Certainly not photos!:doh:

A few missing pieces here...

- Presumably you were in male mode to do your cross-country mountain biking and that's the pic you posted on Facebook, so you didn't expect to get "busted" by that.

- If your long-time friend recognized your vehicle, bike, and carrier at the gas station, why did he not approach you on the spot to confirm your identity, rather than "outing" you on social media?

- You are under no obligation to respond to his comment to confirm his suspicions if you choose not to. "Keep them guessing" as the old Oil of Olay commercials used to put it.

Okay so I'm not exactly outted yet. He didn't say anything about what I look like or who was driving the car. He just asked if I was stopped there. And I was for sure!

But if this friend saw my car and bicycle then he most likely saw Tricia and not the me he knows LOL

And yes I don't post any of my Tricia stuff on my regular Facebook page. I do not mix the two. I just figured leaving town it wouldn't be an issue. Still trying to decide what to do.

I do not think I would do anything unless he says something to you about seeing you. You could have been inside the store when he passed by.

He may have just driven by the station while you were inside and saw your car and bike at the pump.

It's a tricky situation, hold off on responding for now, but, you will need to respond at some stage. If he saw you and " knows" then, no response will likely confirm his suspicions.
Does this person normally message you and do you normally reply to them. You need to keep things as normal as possible, nothing to see here! It's in our nature to assume the worst and think we have been outed, but, most people are not that observant and because they wouldn't be expecting to see a woman they are unlikely to suspect it was you. Hopefully it works out for you.

Hi Tricia :hugs:, Once you walk out the Door there are a Million eyes looking

Tricia, I think that if your friend had positively ID'd you, he would have said so, or at least something like "I saw you pumping gas in (sometown)". The fact that he's asking in this way tells me he's not absolutely certain it was you. And, if he was merely driving by and noticed your car and bicycle, but not your alternate self, I think you're safe.
"Oh, the attractive woman at the pump? That was my travel companion."
Best wishes, Marsha

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Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID

Hi Tricia :hugs:, Once you walk out the Door there are a Million eyes looking

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Orchid, flattery will get you everywhere! :)

Only one solution. Sell the car and the bike!

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Originally Posted by Marsha Louise

"Oh, the attractive woman at the pump? That was my travel companion."

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I actually like this response if your friend were to question the lady pumping gas. It is a truthful statement without giving too much information.

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Originally Posted by StephanieLake

He may have just driven by the station while you were inside and saw your car and bike at the pump.

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I'd go with this. You were in the restroom when he drove by for all you know.

I'd let it go. You can always say you didn't see the post if he follows up.

I would double down and say something like oh yeah that looks exactly like me being sarcastic and see where they go with it. There's an air of they're not really sure. We also don't know is your car specifically specific or just unique for the area? I mean a certain combination of stuff can make it entirely unique or just that no one else has one so it's not definitely unique just likely like having the First new Corvette or something but if you have a very special edition or you've done some modification well there's no doubt it's absolutely your car.
Another angle you could start with what do you think of her and see where the response goes. If it's certain if they know it's you there's no point denying play it off with confidence then ask for privacy. See what they say. Good luck. It's not the end of the world. It just means change maybe for the better.

Hopefully he just noticed your car. My wife always asks me why I take her car for a drive, but my car there aren't many like them but her car is dime a dozen. I even tell her as much as I love her to come along if we want to keep this a secret she can out me. Even myself at times I'm out of town and I bump into someone I least expect.

80 miles away? What ate the chances? Unless it's the only gas station for 80 miles! lol

Yes, it?s a small world, coincidence? Fate? Who knows? We went to a shopping center 40 miles away for dinner and a movie and guess what? Yep, we almost bumped into a couple we knew. Fortunately, we escaped, but we never forget it. Blue is correct. Once you open the door, the world is out there?flat tire, police, fender bender, etc. but, que sera.

I am retired now, but my working life was evenly divided between two industries. After twenty plus yars in one industry, I decided my career was going nowhere in the first industry, and took an opportunity to start over, at the bottom, in another completely unrelated industry. About a year or so later I was approached by a customer who knew me. He seemed annoyed that I didn't recognize him. It wasn't until he reminded me of where we had worked together that I realized he was someone I had worked face to face with on an almost daily basis only few years before.

I am just realizing now that I have just made a case for both sides of this argument.

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Originally Posted by Marsha Louise

"Oh, the attractive woman at the pump? That was my travel companion."

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I often use a similar approach. Sometimes when I'm shopping for femme clothing, I get some questions about it. I usually respond something like,

"I'm sure she'll like it."

"I know what she likes."

"I'm pretty sure it will fit her."

I let the SA believe that "she" or "her" is my SO or GF. I don't tell her that "she" or "her" is Steffi.

I once replied to a curious, inquiring friend who had seen me (from a distance) dressed out in my yard, before my "hobby" was common knowledge around here: "Oh, that must have been my younger sister, visiting from out-of-state that you saw. We look very much alike".
I said this in all seriousness.......and they believed it!

There's zero value in fretting over this. There's a good chance he saw your car and not you. But if he did see you dressed, he cannot unsee it. So, I would answer, "Yes, I drove through there. Sorry I missed you! Maybe next time." Period.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

We all join you in *hoping* that they believed you. Whether they did or not is irrelevant. It became a moot point. That's all that matters.

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Originally Posted by Marsha Louise

I once replied to a curious, inquiring friend who had seen me (from a distance) dressed out in my yard, before my "hobby" was common knowledge around here: "Oh, that must have been my younger sister, visiting from out-of-state that you saw. We look very much alike".
I said this in all seriousness.......and they believed it!

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The question is "did he see you or just the vehicle?" If just the vehicle, then you could respond "funny, I didn't see you." If he saw you, though, then it raises a whole new run of responses. I know I run the risk of someone recognizing my vehicle (although not as specific looking as yours), but I am certain that I wouldn't be recognized, so I just would run the line that someone else drives something so much like mine.

It doesn't matter how far away from home you roam. Once we were on the west coast and a friend signed the register at the motel when the clerk said he was from the next town over from us on the east coast.

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Originally Posted by Tricia Lee

I decided to make the trip enfemme, so I'm fully dressed up and looking super cute.

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I can vouch for the fact that you looked super cute!

Chances they saw the car and not you. Unless you were at the pump or in the car.

This is such a great story...oh the web we weave : )))

From your description i think he only saw your car and bicycle, probably as he drove by, and was curious if it was your vehicle. I think, and this is just my opinion, and we all know what opinions are worth, you should answer him and tell him you were on the way to ride your bike, which is the truth.

I've been on the road. Just got back home. Sorry for the earlier cryptic posts that lacked a lot of details.

So not long after the troubling comment was posted I implemented a strategy similar to Marsha Louise's "Oh, the attractive woman at the pump? That was my travel companion." I responded pretty quickly with:

"The lady I've been dating lives in (nearby city name redacted). She must have stopped there to get gas!"

My thinking is, whether he saw who was driving or not, it defuses the situation. And, she does live in a nearby city, so that part is true, and lots of my friends know that. So the whole thing seems plausible. There hasn't been any further movement on the issue.

Here is a pic I took just an hour or two before the fateful fill-up. This is what I was wearing, except with a cute black jacket. It was super comfortable because I did away with the the padding, forms and waist cincher! I went au naturale, baby :)

Nope, not me.

"My car is fairly recognizable. My bike is too, and it's hanging on the back of my car."

There is your problem. If you're going to ride around dressed as a woman, but have an easily recognized car and bike, your chances of being "busted" go way up.

My truck and my wife's car are pretty generic, but my wife hit a pole and put some serious scratches and dents in the passenger side. This makes it recognizable so I have to take the truck if I go out dressed, even though I would rather be in the car.

Yes obviously that was the problem. I would never drive around in town like that. But to be caught out 80 miles away was a bit of a shock.

Your friend likely saw the car, but not you. A close call regardless. Aside from all this, I hope you enjoyed your ride Tricia.

You played it well. I would have just ignored the post. Social media is a problem.

Tricia, I'm glad you were able to defuse the situation. You look great and ready to pass.

The downside to a car that stands out. While I have always had personal number plates, I have had bland cars until 2 years ago where particularly the colour of my car stands out. I try to take my wife?s car when it?s available and I?m dressed as probably a little less obvious than mine.

I keep thinking about buying a "Tricia" car! LOL :)

This is why I drive a black station wagon. Or, an estate car, as the Brits say, which is cool, because it implies that you have an estate.

I have considered buying an "April car". I would get a Volkswagen Beetle; pink, or that creamy pastel green color.:daydreaming:

Glad your strategy seems to have moved things past a tricky situation. I once bumped into a work coleague , whist on holiday 2000 miles from home. It"s a small world.

Nice dress BTW.

Dont get caught and if you do dont leave any evidence or DNA at the scene. Think you have got away with it on this occasion.

A nail biter for sure. My Julie outings are only a couple times a year, and I always rent a car for them, for this reason. My vehicle is way too recognizable!

I LOVE the idea of a special car that's a reflection of our femininity - and why not? Guys do it all the time...LOL!
Shawna

Shawna, right? :) I'm thinking SUV so if I want to combine some biking with girl time I can fit the bicycle easily inside the vehicle.

We used to joke about going to cycling club meetings and asking people what kind of bike(s) they ride so we would know who we were talking to. During cycling season, I leave my (hitch mounted) rack on my car unless going to the car wash or going out enfemme. Yes, there have been a few times I've left it on but now I like to keep my car incognito. I surely wouldn't go out enfemme with either of my bikes on the rack... :o


Speaking of Facebook, I saw that some of my friends were planning on attending a Rahr and Sons 5K that I was planning to attend enfemme. Surely enough, one of them saw me and obviously recognized my voice and called me out by name as he ran by my station and I replied back.
Nothing else was said but I sent him a PM with a link to the photo of me posted on the Rahr and Sons Facebook page saying that was funny in reply to one of his posts. It was a scary moment!
Below is a link to the photo page - it got a lot of likes!
https://www.facebook.com/RahrOktober...1401575205857/

I gotta say it, you post on Facebook anything someone will discover you, I have stayed away from that for 14 years. Gas stations by the way zapped you with there camera.