Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men?
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional?
Like cooking and doing house work?
Feel overly submissive?
Whatever it was/is? Inquiring minds need to know!:battingeyelashes:
Please don't say, "Just when I put women's clothes on." Because us CD's do that, too. But, I've never, ever "felt like a woman inside"!:straightface:
DocRobb,
I'm guessing, but I would think you would have the perfect perspective for this, but from the opposite side.
When you're dressed in your suit with your wigs, and hat and pretty red dress, and those Jackie O sunglasses, (You rock the look by the way) you see the suit, not yourself in the mirror. Am I right?
Imagine knowing what's underneath and not being able to take the suit off.
Like I said, I'm guessing...
No
No
Sure
No
No and No.
No and No
No and No.
No.
All no Doc...sorry not sure you wanted Trans only to respond?
I'm excited when I think I look like a woman, Shelby. But, I have never felt like one, no matter how convincing I looked.:sad:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelbyDawn
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men?
No and No
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional?
No and No
Like cooking and doing house work?
Yes and a normal thing.
Feel overly submissive?
No
Whatever it was/is? Inquiring minds need to know!
1st pair of panties was at 4 or 5, spent hours looking at Sears and JCPenny catalogs female cloths, undergarments, and toys
Puberty was terrible, hated my body. My brain was saying all is wrong should be developing female.
1st foam forms and all in one undergarment was ordered from Sears and walked in to the store and picked up order at the counter.
Men no, guess I would have been a lesbian.
Married 2 kids wonderful wife. Tolerates, but as most wives hard to understand.
Guess into today standards, I would be one of young transgender kids people do not understand.
I am me.
Really you didn't know?
Yes
Yes
? Does sewing count
No
It has to do with self image. Extremely confusing. I have a boyfriend and have lived with a man as the lady of the house for a year. My best friend as well as most of my friends are GGs.
Yes I cry all the time. I'll be in a conversation with someone . The conversation will spark an emotion, and tears will start running down my face.
I wear dresses. I make most of the ones I wear. I always receive compliments. I'm currently working on some swim wear for an upcoming trip to Palm springs.
No. I don't think anyone would think of me as being overly submissive. I know what I like and I know how to drive my boyfriend crazy as I know what he likes too.
It's all it how you see yourself, your self image. It's the difference between playing a part and living it.
I have always felt that I am different. Now I understand why.
No - never been into blokes, always hung out with the ladies, much more fun than taking about whose got the bigger car/fish/gun/trophy
No crying, but very happy for no reason
I've cooked and cleaned for over 40 years, happy to let someone else do it now.
More dominant, not submissive
Ever been anywhere that you haven't really enjoyed, then you come home to the place you love, being the woman is the place I love and the other place (male) is just mundane.
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men? No, I think of being with my wife, but as two women in bed.
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional? Yes especially sad and heartwarming movies I cry and get very emotional
Like cooking and doing house work? Yes I like cooking, cleaning dishes, laundry and grocery shopping too!
Feel overly submissive? I am a a little submissive, I prefer my wife to make decisions.
I realize I am gender fluid and I accept and embrace my feminine side. My wife is not attracted to my feminine side, so we are married friends. I will never have gender surgery but if we divorce one day, I would come out of the closet and dress in womens clothing in public.
doc i remember a thread when you had declared your "self" as trans. no offense intended.....i couldnt find it.
this is an old thread https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...ase&highlight=
this is wiki.... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femininity
in today's environment all those could be found to be things a sexist would say....
men can and do cook
men can and do clean
men can and do feel submissive
men can and do feel sexy and think of being with men
men can and do cry and feel emotional....
i have an inquiring mind and would love to know why im wired the way i am and still cant put my finger on "it"....
i can say for fact that certain womens clothes make me feel feminine....
flounce skirts
palazzo pants
dresses
high heelz
purses
i have a women who told me i acted more feminine when dressed, i told her i didnt notice so it must not be an act.
when i walked in her shop with a purse it was like i had one my whole life but it was my first purse....i didnt notice but she had, how can i describe something im not even aware of....
No to all your questions except cooking. I really enjoy cooking and prepare most of our meals. My wife does that sometimes too and we both like doing that. But I don't personally consider that a female trait - everybody has to eat. Great chefs are both male and female.
All the items in your list are stereotypical female-like traits. Females are more emotional and for a good reason. Those that are submissive are adhering to social expectations and that is not consistent with females around the world in other cultures.
The big problem with the "feel like a woman" concept is that a male cannot actually feel like a woman because he is male. Nobody can feel like anyone else; they can only feel like themselves. However, through gender one can experience some of what a female feels simply because most males have neural networks in their brain that generate female-like behaviors when the occasion arises. And females are the other way around. But those "other gender" traits, behaviors and feelings are the minority in most people.
Then there are those that are like Jean - they experience and behave in more classical female ways and that is likely because the female-like neural networks are abundant in them and quite likely dominant in much of their normal life. It is far more likely than not a natural variation in humans. Some women claim they "feel like a man" and that most likely exists for exactly the same reasons, but the fact remains that they are feeling what they think that feels like even though it is only an approximation. Close enough! Those feelings are coming from the activity of neural networks that are configured to generate opposite sex behaviors and approaches to dealing with individual situations.
Do I ever experience the "feel like a woman" pattern. Of course I do and most gender variant males do at one time or another. But it is not the real thing simply because males are not females and have some major differences and huge differences in experience within the social world where gender identity becomes critical in forming individual behavior patterns. However, when it comes to brains, male and female brains are so much alike they are almost interchangeable in nearly all respects.
Most important of all when it comes to gender behavior determining neural networks is that they are not fixed, but each network can quickly alter its configuration to produce useful behavior patterns that may be male-like, female-like, or intermediate and then change back when circumstances change. Intermediate traits are those that everybody does that has little or nothing to do with gender specific behaviors.
So Jean is correct in that it has to do with self-image and because that image is not fixed it can become confusing and very complex. It is all very dynamic.
There is very likely a basic foundation set by our genetic inheritance that sets a baseline for each of us, but experience and brain plasticity allows those basic patterns to be modified to fit the vast number of experiences we encounter. Very few people have only one type of neural networks; the norm is to have a blend that is changeable in large ways. However it is likely that some people are strongly biased genetically toward the male-like or female-like sides and that has a lot to do with why we have masculine males or females and feminine males or females that show dominant behaviors in one way or the other.
So it may be that we all are basically defined by unique genetic combinations in the more than 3,000 genes that are potentially involved in gender behavior, but our experiences shift that around. As Jean said, "It is confusing." And it is incredibly complex and capable of producing a vast array of behaviors that are useful in our day to day life. But all together they produce our individual gender behaviors that forms our individual sense of self and the total self image which changes constantly around some core patterns set by genetics.
Thank u, Gretchen, for your deep and introspective reply to my slightly tongue in cheek question!:thumbsup:
And, to all u others who have tried to explain your often unique feelings. I realize this may be a very personal, difficult to verbalize, experience for each of u.:battingeyelashes:
When im getting dressed i feel nothing, but when im complete, omg I look in the mirror and wow Im a girl, my whole life changes in my head, I walk different, I talk and move different, I am different. I am me, and feel how I should feel, Im now in the right body, does that make sense ?, it does to me.
Trans, when u say u feel like woman inside, what is it exactly that u mean?
I consider myself to be somewhat trans, so I guess I'll try to answer.
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men?
With my looks, I don't feel "sexy", but I do find my sexuality aligns more along the feminine. I want to be made-love-to, not "score."
And yes, I have thought about being with a man (back when I was single) - but only if he could see/treat me AS a woman. (never gonna happen)
For me, being with a man as another man, holds no interest.
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional?
Years of self-denial and suppression have pretty much dulled my emotions to where the only real emotion I feel is depression.
I'm cried out.
Like cooking and doing house work?
I don't mind doing it, and I've pretty much taken over those chores since my S.O can't any more.
Feel overly submissive?
I don't know about "overly", but yes, I am much more submissive than aggressive or dominant.
I live to support and help those I care about, not lead or rule them.
And yes, There was a time where I was the "stay at home" spouse.
Whatever it was/is? Inquiring minds need to know!
What it is - isn't any of the stereotypes you've listed above.
I know a good many women who wouldn't answer "yes" to them..
It's an inner "knowing" - a sense of self that defies definition.
It's not any particular behavior or lack of it.
It's not how I look or dress (or not!).
It's not how others perceive me.
It's just that I know, way down deep inside, who/what I am.
In my case, the outer realities of day-to-day life have forced this knowing-ness to stay mostly down there.
I've seen the saying "I can explain it to you, but I can't make you understand it," and that's oh-so-true.
Please don't say, "Just when I put women's clothes on." Because us CD's do that, too.
There's a big difference, even though it seems small - and I'm probably way oversimplifying, but here goes:
A CD dresses up to feel feminine.
I dress up because I feel feminine.
But, I've never, ever "felt like a woman inside"!
And you probably never will. After all, as you say, you're not Trans.
We're different creatures that happen to share a common interest, even though our motivations differ.
SaraLin brings up an interesting and significant point. It is the point about what triggers the need to express as feminine. As she says, in general, there are those who wear women's clothes to feel feminine or womanly - these are perhaps more CD. Whereas the more Trans feel feminine and so they dress accordingly. That said there appears to be a vast zone of overlap and sort of hybridized behavior in this regard.
One thing that is in common is that everyone who crossdresses for more than a joke does so because there is some internal shift that causes them to desire that feeling so they dress to experience that feeling strongly. Some dress to relieve the pressure produced by the inconsistency between the way they feel (their sense of self or identity) and the way they look.
In both it seems to be a powerful force and motivator. Where it comes from and why this motivator exists in some and not in the majority is quite mysterious. It might be part of the genetic foundation or it may come from experiences or a combination, but it is a very real phenomenon. The final result of this pattern is that the boundary between CD and fully Trans appears to be very fuzzy and sometimes looks a bit like a continuous variation. Something is definitely going on that is very real and is acting as part of the trigger to use an outward expression that is consistent with the inner feelings and act as a motivator for making a change that is consistent with what the person feels about themselves.
Like Sara, I am also one of those who dresses because I FEEL feminine and my male clothes cause a conflict and tension that needs to be resolved. Once resolved the feminine feeling that is the motivator slowly fades over time. That said, there are always hints of that feminine feeling and association that drives my behavior to not be like the classic male character. It results in being more gentle, emotional, and sensitive but still far less than what most females, including my wife, experience.
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men?
Don't know that I feel sexy, but looking at pictures from the GNO in Mar I realize that the professional makeup artist made me look pretty! As far as being with men, once in a great while but usually only when I'm dressed.
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional?
Yes there are times when that happens
Like cooking and doing house work?
Don't necessarily like cooking or house work but did it while my wife wasn't able because of her Rhuematoid Arthritis and bad knees. Since she passed Last Jul I have to or I don't eat and the house would look like a disaster area.
Feel overly submissive?
No
I don't know how to explain it but over the last few months I have come to feel that I am a woman in a man's body, but I have no wish to transition. I am happy with myself the way I am and even happier since now feeling like a woman in a man's body.
Take any of that with a grain of salt if you like.
I wish I could define what that truly means. Much of what is considered feminine or masculine are societal constructs. I fit in many of the feminine categories but also would probably do likewise in the masculine ones. I can only say I feel more comfortable presenting as a woman.
Sometimes yes, when I'm in really pretty clothes, I might feel sexy; but no, never think of being with a man. The attraction simply isn't there, quite the opposite, a feeling of revulsion when it comes to men.
Don't cry for no reason, when it happens, there's always a reason. Not overly emotional, either.
Don't like cooking; I like EATING, so cooking is usually involved. I clean because I don't like the place being filthy, and I do laundry because I like my clothes to look and smell nice.
Always been more of a follower than a leader, but had to learn to be the leader in many things because to be successful as a male, it's just what we have to do. Turned out I'm pretty good at it; but it never feels natural, it always feels like I'm playing the part of a leader. I'd rather have someone else do it.
I've been thinking recently what people mean when they say "I feel feminine (or masculine"). I feel like me, and have no idea what anyone else "feels" like, so how can I question what anyone else says they feel like? I enjoy my time wearing clothes usually thought of as for women (wore a skirt a few days ago, after many months of not, and I kept a smile on my face all day); what women (or men) feel? No idea
Unless you've lived it, doubt that anyone could adequately explain it to you. It's got nothing to do with clothes, or hair, or makeup, beyond wanting to express who I really am. The trappings do not, by themselves, provide any reward.
Honestly, I don't know "how a woman feels", I only know how I, a woman, feel, having the body of a genetic male. Which is to say... uncomfortable, wrong. Despite identifying with women, personally and professionally, living as I did, pretending to be a man, I could never achieve the sense of identity that comes with being a woman. I do now.
Nice explaination, Auntie! :thumbsup:
Your "sense of self as a female" strikes a chord even in me!:heehee:
I have always felt emotionally, socially, and in temperament/personality much more like the women I know than the men.
My life would have likely been much easier had I began transitioning while in school. My gender presentation would have been more aligned with my self image. I wouldn?t have wasted time play-acting as a man, and always feeling like my maleness had an asterisk next to it.
If I had to live with an asterisk, it would have been better to do so as a woman.
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men? Yes
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional? No
Like cooking and doing house work? No
Feel overly submissive? No
No
Sometimes
Yes
No.
I always feel like a woman, no matter what i am wearing, always have.
1. yes
2. no
3. yes
4. yes
Hi, docrobbysherry!
To answer your specific questions...
Do u feel sexy dressed and think of being with men? Answer: sometimes / sometimes not.
Cry for no reason and r overly emotional? Answer: sometimes / sometimes not.
Like cooking and doing housework? Answer: sometimes / sometimes not.
Feel overly submissive? Answer: Answer: no.
Much like what Aunt Kelly explained, I can only tell you how I feel now that I have abandoned the stereotypical male lifestyle. And truthfully, I believe, the questions you asked reflect the stereotypical image that most men have about women in general, which is unfortunate, in that it is unfair to both women and men. What I can tell you about me is that my thoughts, opinions, emotions, and life choices would be the same regardless of the clothes I choose to wear or what public restroom I choose to use. To expand a little on what I mean, I'll again use your questions:
1. There are times when I feel extremely sexy after spending the time to find the right outfit for an occasion and when my hair and makeup is exactly how I want it - and other times I look in the mirror and say "ugh - what were you thinking?" On other days, I'm perfectly happy to throw on sweats and a ball cap for a trip to the grocery store because it is comfortable and fits what I am doing at the time.
2. At times I think of being with a man and my heart beats a little faster with the thought, but as someone who is still happily and faithfully married to a woman, I choose not to act upon it. If something were to change that situation - I would absolutely be open to exploring a more intimate relationship with the right man - should the opportunity present itself. Of course, I and I alone, would make that decision, because I'm comfortable with the knowledge that I do not NEED a man to somehow validate my being a woman.
3. I am a person who has never been ashamed to show emotion or who has suppressed emotions. I have not noticed any difference (pre or post HRT) in my propensity to cry at movies, or when I'm sad, or even when I'm happy. I simply feel better when I express myself. Personally, I think this is "good medicine" for male and female to honestly express emotions.
4. I enjoy cooking and baking the things I like, and for the most part avoid cooking or baking things that are not my favorites. As a person who has always been somewhat of a "neat freak" I don't mind housework - but I probably won't ever be inclined to wear a French maid costume while doing it...LOL!
5. I have never been an overly submissive person. For those I love, I will love unconditionally. To me this isn't being submissive as term is generally understood, but rather showing outgoing concern for those who are important to me.
I hope what I've shared shows that I am simply ME. My clothes are simply MINE. The activities I choose are those that interest ME. My life choices are simply MINE. While it is true that everything I have described about me is generally observed as being female - it is true to me because in MY mind and soul - the source of ALL of our intellects - I AM a woman.
Thank you for asking about this!