What can I expect when ?flying pretty??

Hi everyone.
I’m looking for advice on what I can expect from checking in, the TSA, boarding and things like that. For context, I haven’t done any legal transition. So, while I have done some medical transition, and at a glacial pace done, some social transitioning, I haven’t done anything to change legal documents.

It seems like I’ve seen some people here talk about flying while in femme but is that really possible? I mean if I show up to the boarding gate or where they make you take your shoes off and check your bag and I look very much like a woman, but they see a boarding pass or whatever else they need with a guy’s name, what will happen?

https://kimberlyhuddle.blogspot.com/...ly-pretty.html

Kim used to be an active member here and she's probably logged more "pretty" miles than anybody. No way I would have ever done it. Not on my best day. I can tell you that silicone inserts will get your carryon checked.

I had no problems, Wren! I had my forms on an no problems! Oh, they did confiscate my Creole mustard! Passengers were even polite! Have fun and enjoy! Hugs Lana Mae

The few times I flew pretty I changed after TSA screening and before boarding the plane. No problems.

Wren, this is from the TSA web site: Does TSA check gender?
TSA is committed to ensuring all travelers are treated with respect and dignity. Screening is conducted without regard to a person's race, color, sex, gender, gender identity, national origin, religion, or disability.

As a male wearing a bra (no forms) I did get a little pat down on the my back to see what was there. That was it for me.

If the scanner detects things that don't match the gender you are presenting, you may be selected for additional scrutiny. Usually, that means getting wanded and/or a pat down. Know this and expect it. Relax. TSA workers are trained to recognize anxiety, which might trigger actions that will prolong your journey through the "security theater" that is pre-flight screening.

My post about my first flight experience last year.

Thanks for the input everyone. I really appreciate it but maybe I didn’t spell out my situation clearly enough.

So I’m transgender and although I can still pull off looking like a guy, I would be checking bags, going through TSA checks and boarding looking essentially like a woman. (Photo for context). So it wouldn’t be a matter of looking like a guy and wearing a bra. By the way… big time respect to you Natalie for doing that. But I would not feel comfortable doing that. And I wouldn’t feel comfortable changing in a men’s restroom and then walking out in a summer dress looking like… well, like the picture below.

Thanks Kelly for the info. That’s really helpful.

But what happens when airport personnel (like when checking bags) ask for your ID and they see the name John Doe but are looking at someone who looks very much like Jane Doe. No… not even Jane Doe but someone so removed from the picture and name on the ID that the woman would be like… Agnieszka Jakubowski.
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Short answer, you'll be fine.

Flown pretty three times, and my ID definitely did not match my appearance. Actually the last time the TSA agent did a double take when he looked at my ID so maybe I passed a little better that I thought.

Same with checking luggage.

I wrote about my last trip to North Carolina in the pictures folder, and my trip to Atlanta in May 2022. Have a read for more details.

No questions flying out of jfk NY to las Vegas and back.

I have flown pretty a couple times. The TSA people were great. Usually it's "have a nice flight.. next" although I got a comment from one that he like my new glasses. I also had an airline agent comment she liked my new hair style. Relax, have fun and enjoy the flight!!

Nobody cares. TSA people are just trying to get through another low-wage, dead-end shift without any planes falling out of the sky. Oh, regarding the ID, I dont look like my ID for a split second. But if you are a TSA person and hold up my ID next to my face for, say, fifteen seconds, I absolutely look like my ID photo. So will you.

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Originally Posted by IamWren

But what happens when airport personnel (like when checking bags) ask for your ID and they see the name John Doe but are looking at someone who looks very much like Jane Doe. No… not even Jane Doe but someone so removed from the picture and name on the ID that the woman would be like… Agnieszka Jakubowski.
Attachment 337319

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Aside from a slightly longer process of comparing your face to the one in the picture, nothing. Again, just smile like you understand his/her confusion and that it's "old hat" to you. Relaxed and confident will put a quick end to any additional scrutiny.

I have flown pretty many times. Always enjoyable. Never any negative comments. Even been complimented several times by fight attendants on my eye make up. I posted this several years ago.

“I've flown PRETTY about 10 times. Started in HYBRID MODE to get a feel for it and also gave me confidence to know I could "un do" it mid flight if I lost my nerve (NEVER DID). Then I decided to go FULL FEMME. Have done this at least 4 times. Had plans to do this on a regular basis as I usually fly every 3 to 6 weeks, But COVID derailed my plans as I have not flown since March. I have not gone through TSA fully En Femme (only Hybrid) but was planning this for my April flights and beyond. In past I've changed after TSA. I use the PRIVATE FAMILY RESTROOMS available at all my airports…….. I have never been one to interact with other flyers as a guy or a girl. I like the peaceful 3-5 hours of rest, movies, and/or music. In the short interactions I have had I have never experienced any negative reaction and have actually received some positive comments on my jewelry and make-up.”
Now I use CLEAR so it just scans your fingerprint or retina and go right through TSA no problem. Sometimes you will get the “secondary” wand scan (but I get that in guy mode also). If they ask me I just say im wearing a corset, bra, or what ever the scanner picks up. Never have any negative TSA COMMENT.
DONT KNOW WHY BUT I FEEL REALLY FULFILLED WHEN I FLY COMPLETELY ENFEMME. Have fun and relax.

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Originally Posted by IamWren

I mean if I show up to the boarding gate or where they make you take your shoes off and check your bag and I look very much like a woman [...

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[Tons of irrelevant answers from people who apparently are suspected to not look damn good enough as a female]

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Originally Posted by IamWren

But what happens when airport personnel (like when checking bags) ask for your ID and they see the name John Doe but are looking at someone who looks very much like Jane Doe.

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[More answers from members who didn't get the message...]

Thanks everyone.
I really appreciate the responses. I hope to be flying out in the next couple of months to see some friends and one of them will be picking me and my wife up from the airport. She only has ever seen pictures of me as girl-Wren and I want to avoid her seeing me as dude-Wren.

Thanks again. This helps a lot.

I am sure the airport and flight will be a positive experience, and its great that you and your wife are making the extra effort to meet your friend in girl-Wren mode. FYI, I have a number of friends that only have met me in girl-mode and I hope always to keep it that way!

Think ahead. There is a chance that they will want to pat you down, and/or wand you. They may ask, "Do you want to be patted down by a man or a woman?" You might want to think through what you would be comfortable doing before you are put on the spot.
I was dressed as a man in a skirt and the XRay flagged something very high on my right leg. I was wearing a panty girdle to hold my tuck. Who am I kidding? I was wearing it to hold in my old guy belly!
Anyhow, I said "man" and an officer cupped the sides of my leg from mid-thigh up to the top of my leg. He (potentially accidentally) bumped my crotch. I didn't react. They thanked me and politely sent me on my way.

I, too, have flown pretty on a number of occasions. If you check my profile and "started threads," you'll see a couple of my reports which will answer many/most/all of your questions!

Boobs in my carry on in vegas prompted TSA to asy, "What show are you with, Hon?"
TSA at Reagan in DC were complete assholes taking my forms out and testing each one for explosives.

Carla one can't be too careful with those exploding boobs! ;) Were they in your bra or your carry on?

The first time I did this it was nerve wracking but ultimately, it went very smoothly for me. A couple of unexpected benefits. 1. I didn’t pack any boy clothes, so my only choice was female attire, there and back. 2. No boy clothes means more room in your luggage for girl clothes.

TSA had no issue with my male license and my female presentation. I do have TSA pre check, so I only had to go through the metal detector and not the body scanner.

I rode public transportation, light rail, to the airport while dressed. Got a compliment on my nails from the baggage check attendant. Nothin at all during TSA documentation check. I was wearing foam breast forms so my silicone breast forms did get double checked going through the x ray machine. Otherwise nobody gave me a 2nd glance. Well maybe they did, I don’t pass that well in real life, but nobody called me out.

Be aware of what you are wearing when you go through TSA. Slip off shoes are easier, don’t wear a lot of metal jewelry. Think about things like underwire in your bra, is it metal or plastic. Things like that.

Most of all just enjoy the experience. Don’t get in your head about who thinks what. What’s important is how you feel about it, so just savor the opportunity and have fun.

After seeing your pics, you really don't have a choice but to fly pretty!

I'd expect to run into my boss/friend/relative.

I have never tried enfemme, but would be interesting.
so let's say if you get bumped up to first class and they call your name for the seat assignment - how do you handle it?
anybody flown in first class enfemme

Bumped to first class, big comfy seats, free booze?I?d walk up, show them my license and take the seat, just the same as if I was presenting as male.

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Originally Posted by siva

I have never tried enfemme, but would be interesting.
so let's say if you get bumped up to first class and they call your name for the seat assignment - how do you handle it?
anybody flown in first class enfemme

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Never got bumped to first class but when boarding Alaska Airlines flights in Anchorage they used to scan your boarding pass at the gate then say something like "Enjoy your flight Mr. Smith!" or "Thanks for flying with us today Miss Jones!" reading your name off your boarding pass. Being a somewhat small town and having lived there for many years it seemed like there was always several people on the plane I knew in my male life. I always dreaded standing there in a dress and makeup with the agent calling out "Have a great flight Mr. Drab!" and having someone in line recognize me. But the gate agents were always discrete and either didn't use a name for me or at least used the correct pronoun.

can Airline reject from boarding because of your dressing up?
has anybody come across the flight attendants/gate agents questioning? if yes how did you handle it
i am really nervous to try it out

One of the great things about living in this woke era is that people in public and customer service positions tend to go out of their way to be respectful and courteous to trans folk. For purposes of being out and about dressed, you will be treated as a trans person. This means, they will almost certainly use appropriate pronouns that match your presentation and they will be courteous and respectful when you're going through security. Beyond that, and speaking from experience, NO ONE CARES. They have their eyes peeled for weapons and potential weapons. They do not care about your outfit.

Siva, I think the only reason they will give you any grief about your clothes is if it totally too revealing or has some slogan which could be deemed offensive or inflammatory. So unless you plan to wear a see through teddy as your complete outfit or your white supremacist swastika t-shirt you'll probably be OK but use your best judgement!

one of the things is - you may run into people you know in the flight or in the airport

Last summer I got stranded in Atlanta overnight. While the airline did put me in a hotel overnight, as it was their fault, I had no access to my luggage. If I had been flying pretty, it would not have been fun without my luggage.

Sandi

I'm one of those who has never flown pretty -- and probably never will.

Not really my thing (best I'd probably do is like leggings & hoodie, in guy-mode? :heehee:).

At the same time? Mad props to those who do! :worship:



Anyway, Wren, it seems like you're way over-thinking this?

The most important thing to remember is probably this...

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Originally Posted by Heisthebride

Be aware of what you are wearing when you go through TSA. Slip off shoes are easier, don?t wear a lot of metal jewelry. Think about things like underwire in your bra, is it metal or plastic. Things like that.

Most of all just enjoy the experience. Don?t get in your head about who thinks what. What?s important is how you feel about it, so just savor the opportunity and have fun.

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Oh, and what Monica said in both her posts. If you're presenting okay, and acting "normal" enough? Nobody really cares! At least on a "common-courtesy-&-respect-in-a-public-space-especially-an-airport" kinda level, ya know? :p

I fly regularly as Robyn and have never had any big problems. I do get questioned at times if this is the correct ID and I just tell them yes I am trans. Most of the times they seem relived. I have flown so much now that it I look forward to what will happen. The TSA agents have seen almost everything so they are real cool with it once they feel confident that you are who your ID says you are. I don't get offended if they don't recognize me from my ID, it really is a compliment if they have a hard time figuring it out. They have a hard job to do but most really do try to be polite and respectful.

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Originally Posted by Claire M

Carla one can't be too careful with those exploding boobs! ;) Were they in your bra or your carry on?

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Ha, ha. In the TSA X-ray machine, silicone boobs are hard to distinguish from C4, so expect some notice, but understanding from TSA.

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Originally Posted by Robyn n TN

They have a hard job to do but most really do try to be polite and respectful.

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Actually, they do have to be polite and respectful. They are, in a way, public servants. You can report bad experiences. I think that they they wear name badges. If they're too surly, get their name as ask for a supervisor. It's your right. I think even asking for a supervisor will clear up any excessive surliness. As they say, "Stand your ground."

I'm an engineer so I over-analyze everything, but here are my experiences.

I would love to fly pretty, but leaving the house dressed would violate one of my DADT boundaries i.e., leaving the house dressed. I just don't think that it's worth the trouble for me to change at the airport either before or after security.

A long time ago, I went through TSA as a man wearing a bra. I did this to test the waters, so to speak. The only interesting thing that happened was waiting for the car rental shuttle. The was a couple waiting behind me and I think that the GG spotted my bra strap and whispered something to the guy she was with. Nothing was said to me, and this is only my "spidey sense" in action. I had thought about talking points in advance, so I had a script in mind for several different scenarios, but I never had to use any of them.

Another time I was going on assignment for multiple 2-week stints alone, without any of my work colleagues. Since I was going to have weekends free out of town, I wanted to discover some adventures. I packed girl and boy clothes in my checked luggage, but I kept my forms and jewelry in carry-on. I kept my forms in carry-on because I expected them to be inspected one way or the other and I wanted to be present when they were inspected. I kept my jewelry in my carry-on because I didn't want it checked where "sticky fingers" might abscond with it.

So get up to TSA and everything is like usual until I see my bag going back and forth through the X-Ray machine. I go up to the TSA guy and tell him quietly that I had breast forms in my bag, He said that they would need to inspect them. Before I could even ask, he asked me if I wanted a private inspection. Yes. We went to a private room, with 2 TSA agents, and I took out my breast forms for their inspection. They also wanted to inspect my jewelry. The only thing I was asked was why do I have "so much" jewelry. I probably responded with something like "to look pretty". They said I passed, but I asked them if I could re-pack my carry-on in private and not in front of everyone. TSA had no problem with that.

TSA posts a lot of guidelines on their web page. I knew in advance that I could ask for (and get) a private screening. I knew that I could ask for a supervisor if I felt uncomfortable. I knew that I could ask for a male or female screener, but I didn't care who screened me. As I said, I had some memorized scripts for some anticipated circumstances. But, overall, the screening was relatively routine.

Read the TSA web page and know your rights, and be prepared to demand them if necessary.

BTW, TSA almost treats this as a disability and "grants reasonable accommodations". I have sleep apnea and use a CPAP device at home. I also travel with it in a small bag, and I know the rules. Primarily, it does not count as a bag. I was checking into the plane with my carry-on bag, and my "personal bags", i.e., my computer bag any my CPAP bag. The boarding agent told me I could only have one "personal bag." Almost simultaneously, we both said, "Medical bag". Problem solved. Breast forms are almost treated like a medical bag.

Otherwise, fly happy. Breathe and pretend what you're doing is normal for TSA and for you.

I have flown several times in hybrid mode, mostly in leggings over the past 10 years. For me the difficult thing is you usually fly out of a local place, running the risk of running into someone you know. Over those years my gf knew and approved of me traveling like that, as I chose to keep that mostly private. I think you?d be surprised at how ok it is to dress however you want.

I went through TSA in July and had no issues, funny stories, but no issues. I was wearing ocean blue side zip pants and a red body suit, a bra with silicone inserts and stockings and heels on, oh, and a chastity belt. My face is male, but everything else is feminine. Go the scanner and beep, tell me to step back and check my pockets and remove my heels. No pockets on these pants, so I smiled and removed my heels, beep again. I tell the guy I am wearing a chastity belt, and says you have to go through the body scanner. Go through, and the screen is red in the chest, back, and crotch area. He tries to clear my chest, let him know I have a bra and inserts in. Clears that, tries to do the crotch area, and I let him know I have a chastity belt on. He gets his supervisor, and he comes back. The worker says a little loudly, he is wearing a chastity belt, a few looks from nearby people, and says we have to go to the room. So I am walking in stocking feet as they carry my heels and backpack. I go in the room and unzip my pants; they snicker a bit and say I am good to go. I didn't have to unsnap my bodysuit or remove my panties, they could clearly see the belt. From there, it was pretty straightforward and uneventful. A few looks on the plane, but nothing was said.

Wow! Bold move. A chastity belt.

I'd love to try one and maybe even be forced to wear one where she keeps the key. But no way would I leave the house wearing one. Way too scary for me!

BTW, was it a male style or a female style?

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Originally Posted by Sandi Beech

Last summer I got stranded in Atlanta overnight. While the airline did put me in a hotel overnight, as it was their fault, I had no access to my luggage. If I had been flying pretty, it would not have been fun without my luggage.

Sandi

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Seems like it would be more fun because you get to stay in girl mode.

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Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi

Wow! Bold move. A chastity belt.

I'd love to try one and maybe even be forced to wear one where she keeps the key. But no way would I leave the house wearing one. Way too scary for me!

BTW, was it a male style or a female style?

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It was a female style belt, so everything is very smooth under panties and yes no key on me either. It was a bit embarrassing but loved it at the same time.

I'm usually smooth enough just wearing panties and my usual shaper.

But, I did just by my first gaff. It has a "camel toe" to hide the bump and replace it with something much more feminine looking

I once brought hollisters spray glue in my carry on. Yes it's a flammable aerosol spray. It is also of the exact size allowed on tsa website for those with medical needs. I carried it in mainly to be there if they had a problem. I honestly don't think anyone noticed it. No questions at all.