What would be the thing you'd most love to hear from you SO?

There seems to be a constant tension in our realm because even many "accepting" spouses would love for the complication to disappear and for her husband to better match her ideal of masculinity. In my situation, there's a constant and very real threat that any one purchase or presentation will step over some line that my wife doesn't want to cross. What she communicates is that she doesn't want to see who I am. So I either hide or face rejection.

What I'd love to hear is a sincere statement of "So, this is who you are! Show me more!"

Has anyone else worked out what they'd like to hear from a spouse or SO?

I would not mind hearing - Fine, do what ever you like, wear what ever you want!

Like that will ever happen! Sigh.

I've already hear it, "If this is what you want to be and it makes you happy then do it. I don't care how you look. I love you any way you come".
Married for over 50 years and "Still crazy after all these years" (Paul Simon).

?C?mon, get dressed we?re going out too dinner, clubbing, or on the town?

Gee honey, it really doesn't matter whether you wear men's or or women's clothing. I love you for who you are. Now if you want to wear women's clothing, let's go shopping and find you a few things you can wear out.

What you are not being Amanda today?

Be sensitive--understand her point of view.
Suppose your wife discarded her dresses and heels, got a military brush cut, and threw out all her makeup.
Would you understand? Love her just the same?

Since my wife is "accepting" but not necessarily "encouraging"... I would a simple "oh, that's a cool skirt!"

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Originally Posted by JenniferR771

Be sensitive--understand her point of view.
Suppose your wife discarded her dresses and heels, got a military brush cut, and threw out all her makeup.
Would you understand? Love her just the same?

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If I have been anything, I've been sensitive. I understand this whole argument and I'm even sympathetic to a woman who is stuck with someone like me. But, I am someone like me.

Since my wife has always been a very feminine woman, I cannot experience what your are referring to. I was NEVER particularly masculine and she's made me pay for that fact in a big way long before I started dressing. That's a big part of the reason that, even though I am sympathetic, I don't have a lot of motivation to try to match her ideal.

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Originally Posted by JocelynJames

?C?mon, get dressed we?re going out too dinner, clubbing, or on the town?

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This would have been nice.

Let’s have a girls weekend.
There are so many things but this would be a good start

I think most of what I'd have loved to hear from my wife about the subject, I actually did hear from her. She even accepted to see me in a toned down (MIAD) mode, which is something I didn't even ever asked her to do. She did her very best to accept me which is probably more than I deserve, having kept her in the dark for years and years.
Now I'd like to know what SHE'd love to hear from me?

"You look ridiculous!"
This when she saw a picture on my screen when I was editing the pic in a photo program.
To me that was good. No insults. No profanity. No screams of agony.
Better than last year.

I owe her a hug.

My ex u mean?:heehee:

"Ok, since u never pick up please don't return my call or call me ever again. And, I won't bother u anymore either!":love:

Last week, my wife and I were out shopping for a winter nightgown. She picked one out for me and I showed her one I liked. She took one look at it and said, “No, that is something I would wear.”

I do like the one she picked out for me but would love to have heard, “That looks so cute and comfortable, get it.”

"You should stay dressed like that all day!" or even "Go put on a bra, we're going out to eat"

This is pure fantasy, but I'd like to hear something like:

"I've changed my mind. Let's explore your feminine side as much as we can - together."

or something such.

Put on something cute Jill before we go shopping would be nice to hear.

I'm not one to complain my wife is pretty accepting to a point of I follow her rule book. Sometimes it wouldn't hurt to hear what I would want to do instead of how far she lets me go. All around she is a good listener and very helpful and tolerant of many things.

Honestly, my wife is so accepting that sometimes it is me that is more a governor on my dressing than her. The only thing she could say that would make me happy is "my kids are moving out and you can dress at home."

I wish when i get dressed at home she treats me nice maybe call me by Connie. I know that sounds silly to some but even that acknowledgment would bring a smile to my face.

I'd love to hear her say, "why don't you get those implants you've wanted for so long".

The first thing she said was "nice legs". I will never forget that. I had a costume with a short dress wearing black pantyhose and heels I was wearing to a Halloween party. As I was leaving I walked by her and she just blurted that out. Oh did that make me happy.

When my wife and I had "The Talk" and got past the original shock she told me it was alright with her if I joined a support group. On occasion I failed to police up a panty or bra and she came across it. Or she saw this site was open on the computer screen. All she said was where is placed the undergarment or I should be more careful leaving this site less a visitor see it. No rankings or raving. Not too long ago she was clearing out all lingerie she outgrew (sigh!) and told me to take whatever I wanted; knowing one she found me wearing back in 1972.

It would be really nice if she would tell me to prepare dinner a la June Cleaver. I know it is not going to happen.

She already said them to me. One night we were going to dinner and I thought she would appreciate it if I went in guy mode. I walked out to the living room wearing my guy things and she said if you don’t get dressed quickly we will be late!

Another time we were deciding where to have some lunch. I was dressed normal (female) and she suggested a local place where I know everyone but in guy mode. I told her ok and I will go change. She said no, I prefer you like this and she suggested somewhere else!

Let?s go out just us, you?re coming as Joanne!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JenniferR771

Be sensitive--understand her point of view.
Suppose your wife discarded her dresses and heels, got a military brush cut, and threw out all her makeup.
Would you understand? Love her just the same?

---

My wife rarely wears dresses and never wears heels. In 40 years I've never seen her in heels as she simply doesn't own any. She doesn't have a military cut, but her hair is much shorter than I'd like it to be. She also uses makeup very sparingly. Her idea of sleepwear is a t-shirt and panties. I love her with all my heart and soul.

I'd love for her to say, "Put on your favorite dress and let's get out of town for a weekend of girl shopping, meals out, and a movie."

What date is your reassignment surgery dear, now that would be music to my ears

I will play along.

The thing I would most like to hear would be
"You look so much better and are so happy in a dress, You should dress full time and throw away your mens clothes"

I would love to hear her tell me to get dressed we are meeting our girl friends for dinner.

Put on your sexiest lingerie and I will put on mine.

I just want the woman back who used to snap my bra straps rub my panty lines and stockings 0r that used kiss my lips when we both wore lipstick, to this day the hottest kiss i ever got in my life. i want her yo say its ok

I dont want this anymore do you want it?