Nobody Cares

Ladies.

I like to attach my breast forms with medical adhesive and just leave them on, shower, sleep in them, etc. Since I now work remotely from home, I can go days without having to remove them but have been doing so when I go out grocery shopping or running errands unless I want to completely dress and present as female which takes a lot of work with makeup, wig. You know the drill. So today I needed to go to Walmart and instead of removing them I wore my Bali bra, a sweat shirt and jacket. Guess what? Nobody cared if they even noticed. So, will just wear them all the time unless I am meeting friends for lunch or such as I am not out except to the TGirl community.

Merry Christmas!!
Stef

Stef, I totally accept what you say "nobody cares". However, all it takes is someone noticing that you'd prefer they didn't know or notice. Then it becomes a different ball game!

Wal-Mart? I see lots of distractions at Wal-Mart. Bra under a sweatshirt would not turn a single head.

Nobody really cares until they do. I really don't go out dressed unless I am leaving my micro-metropolis where everyone knows everyone else's business. Just because I am wearing guy clothes around town doesn't mean my appearance is totally guy. I have my tells. If you take any one of my tells, no big deal. When you start adding all my tells up, well you might begin to think a bit deeper. And that's exactly what happened to me. A few months ago, good friend started, while out to breakfast with my wife, questioning my grooming habits. Fortunately, my said she really could care less and changed the subject. My wife told me and added, it's a matter of time before Carrie figures you out. Now every time I see my friend I am waiting for her to bring up the subject. Needless to say, I feel very uncomfortable around Carrie. We're having Christmas Eve dinner with Carrie and her husband and I am dreading it.

If everything else about your presentation says, "Male", Stef? U shouldn't have any issues. Many males have gynaecomastia.

Besides, if everyone u deal with is a stranger, as u said, why would they care how u dress or if u have breasts?:straightface:

stefcd, as everyone else has said no one in Walmart will give you a second look or thought. Robin I hope asll goes well when you have Christmas Eve dinner tonight with Carrie and her husband.

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Originally Posted by PaulaJeanette

Stef, I totally accept what you say "nobody cares". However, all it takes is someone noticing that you'd prefer they didn't know or notice. Then it becomes a different ball game!

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If I can paraphrase. Most people don't care or don't even notice. Some people notice and do care. And that's where the "issues" come from.

Yourabsolutely right and I found that out yesterday morning . I was relaxing on the couch while my wife was baking a cake and preparing for the family to come for dinner. All at once I here her getting upset that she is missing an ingredient and how could she go to the store with everything going on. I told her I would go for her and instead of getting changed I just put on my jeans and jacket and went. I was wearing a long black silk nighty with my black half bra and my forms. When I got there it was amazing feeling the silk rubbing against my legs and then I thought I would test the waters a little and open my jacket a little and see if I get any strange looks. It was early and there wasn't many people there but everyone just seemed to be busy with there own business and I wasn't really observing everyone but I didn't notice anyone looking. I only open my jacket a little because if I would have bumped into someone I knew the close encounter would have been bad. So I had it half unzipped and let my option to zip it up quickly. But all around I don't usually look at other people when shopping.

There's another side to that. I was in a supermarket a couple of weeks ago and noticed a young man in some very pink athletic shoes, obviously from the woman's section. I was immediately jealous of the feeling of just owning it. I doubt he was aware of my noticing, but while some may not care, others might actually admire your bravery.

I've been in doctor's offices a couple of times where the young male nurses or PA's wore women's running shoes with their scrubs. I've been tempted to compliment but feared making the nurse, my wife and myself uncomfortable. It just goes to prove that we never know what others are thinking or caring about.

Bea made me remember this: I was helping a friend out at work once, one of his guys was wearing these super cool purple and pink camo/swirl sneakers. I complimented him on them, he thanked me. I mentioned I was surprised the other guys weren't giving him crap about them, he assured me they were. I told him they were wrong, I'd wear them too! (The same guys tried to give me crap about my socks before, but I refused to take the bait, instead I'd take off my shoes and show them off. Apparently that took the fun out of the ribbing)

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Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi

If I can paraphrase. Most people don't care or don't even notice. Some people notice and do care. And that's where the "issues" come from.

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But not often enough to warrant being unnecessary fearful. It's the fear that I simply don't understand.

Ah, I see I misunderstood what you were getting at. Agreed! The people who empathize will notice and may comment favourably.

Which Adhesive are you using these days? (Since the demise of holsters)

I'd have to say that depends on where you live and what you do. In a conservative community like where I live, PEOPLE WOULD CARE and react negatively. Maybe in some larger cities it would pass but not everywhere.

Lacy PJs

Under a sweatshirt and jacket I doubt anybody could tell, period.

As a long-time wearer of feminine things in male mode I'll add, I'm not sure what we really mean my "cares". If that means you didn't get beat up, yelled at, I think those would be very unusual reactions. A surprised reaction, a long stare, those are likely (depending on how obvious). Even those might qualify as "don't care".

I'll also say that in probably every case where I've done the fem-in-male-mode thing, I actually wanted people to notice. I just wanted to magically limit it to the right people. A store full of people, fine if everybody noticed! Preferred, in fact. But, if one of them was my boss I wanted to be able to flip some magic switch to where it was no longer noticeable. Amazing how fast it can go from " Hmm, no one cares!" to "Oh shit!". Been on both sides of that one.

I?m in agreement with Lacy. We?re also in a smaller, conservative, nosy community. It very much limits our/my going out. Yes. Most may not notice, not know, or care, but it only takes one. I?ve seen this. It ain?t pretty.

Considering I have gone into stores wearing skimpy clubbing attire like only a bra, corset, mini skirt, and heels, I would say you can get away wearing whatever you want most of the time. The key word being most. So far I have not had any problems even though I would not be surprised if I were to get a negative reaction some day. I do push things pretty far sometimes ; )

Sandi

This has very much been my experience. I've found that people are so into their own thing that they hardly ever notice others. Of course, you need to be dressed to blend. If you dress in a way to draw attention to yourself, you'll get it. This really struck me on a visit to the mall. I was at the point where I felt comfortable in the women's department in one of the anchor stores so I generally restricted my activities to there. Finally, I got the nerve up to go out into the main part of the mall and was able to walk end to end including stopping in stores without any real attention. This was a huge confidence builder for me. A sales person in one of the stores even commented that she liked my booties. Total confidence builder for me and it helped me to get out to more and more places.

There's quite a number of walking trails in my town. One of the many benefits of living here. I was out walking this past weekend in the bitter cold, getting in my steps. I encountered a couple walking along, gloved hand in hand. I saw them from a distance approaching me. With brilliant sunshine, it was easy to discern who was walking like a woman and who was walking like a man. The man in the couple was wearing a skirt (or dress) over pants. I was too wrapped up in my hat and scarf to even say "good morning" as I passed. I didn't even acknowledge their presence.

I'm sure that couple felt like "Ok, another encounter, and that guy didn't even notice!" They had no idea whether I noticed or not, or whether I cared or not.

In reality, I noticed 100000% and was happy to see him dressed as he was out and about in public.

People do notice. The issue isn't whether people notice. The issue is weather people notice enough to do something negative about it.

It does seem to me to have a lot to do with location. I could pretty much guarantee that in the smallish town that I live in if someone noticed there would be 'issues' up to and including being physically attacked. And good luck running the gauntlet of teenagers that hang around in the public spaces / malls / supermarket entrances. The joys of living in a mostly 'working class' (for want of a more polite way to put it) town.

Please remember that you are the star in your own movie. Everybody else is also staring in their movie. People as a rule, do not notice or care.

Things may have changed elsewhere in recent years , but at least in the fairly rural lake country where I live people seem to be either totally indifferent or quite accepting. In the past I often traveled en femme between Texas to Minnesota, stopping at restaurants, hotels and bars along the way. I even spent an afternoon in a car dealership just north of Muskogee for an unexpected auto repair. Small towns and large, I never had a problem or even a dirty look.

Hi Steph :hugs:, Most people are so wrapped up in their own little world that they could are what you are wearing, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

I can totally agree with most of what everyone has said. Still in life their are very few absolutes. As in the word used by many in their remarks "most" not all but most people won't care or comment.
But if you happen to meet up with that 1/100 or 1/1000 or depending on where you happen to be 1/10 that might care and might comment might react.
This world is still full of plenty of people that want everyone to be and do as they desire. It can be stressful even dangerous if you come across that one person who doesn't like how you appear to them.
Be careful and mindful of how people around you are either accepting or not.

JulieC I agree with your point. I also wonder if we CD?s tend to notice more than non CD?s. I know I always enjoy noticing someone out and feeling happy (and a little jealous) for them.
Personally I have felt quite blended in like sitting in a park on a nice day, and then feeling uncomfortable being totally noticed in a crowded mall (but no outward reactions).

I have had some thoughts about the nature of my encounters with others. I am a hiker and this is one time when I am exclusively dresses en femme. While I don't generally encounter a lot of people when hiking, the encounters are more personal in nature since they are one on one and face to face. To me this is a big test and I have generally been accepted as the woman I am presenting as. In truth, there encounters are generally over so fast that I never really can get the depth of someone's reaction. Similarly, it is probably hard for other people to do a complete assessment of me. On the other hand, when I'm out in the mall or a store, there are a lot of people and one on one encounters are few and far between because people are doing their own thing. This is why it has become so easy for me to go to places like the mall or stores.

Another thought I have had is that when we are out and about, we are generally hyper vigilant since we are out of our "norms" and trying to maintain our safety. Part of this hyper vigilance is projecting the same on others and I have just found that it is not there. People generally just don't see other people.

I have worn blush and even mauve lipstick while otherwise in drab. No one has ever given me a second glance, even if I am talking to them. I have thought about wearing progressively redder lipstick to test how far I could go before being noticed but that is an experiment for away from home!

Seeing as you're struggling with finding jeans to fit your height, you definitely might want to look into the option of women's jeans skirts to switch it up a bit. Wearing jeans skirts can also offer a little more comfort and flexibility. Plus, you can also wear leggings or tights under them during colder months. Here's a link I found that might help out: https://jeans4you.shop/collections/womens-jeans-skirts. Hope you find something suitable there.

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Originally Posted by NancySue

I?m in agreement with Lacy. We?re also in a smaller, conservative, nosy community. It very much limits our/my going out. Yes. Most may not notice, not know, or care, but it only takes one. I?ve seen this. It ain?t pretty.

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Nancy,
It is best to not let other people control what you wear and how you live your life. Since I made this decision, my life is infinitely better and I am able to be myself instead of a stereotype.

I routinely go shopping wearing my normal attire, i.e., a dress. It does help for me to have a bust (bra cup size of DD with no filler) and hair past my shoulders. Nobody bats an eye with my presentation. What's even more is when I talk with my voice deep for a man, there is still no reaction.
NOBODY CARES!!!

John

Hi John,

I was wondering if you have any problems because of the area where you live. Texas is very cowboy and there still is redneck mentality in some of the areas that I have visited, but maybe you are close enough to the big city that it isn't an issue.

I have had no problems at all with.my attire. As far as where I live, Irving is about halfway between Dallas and Fort Worth. And I have had no problems with my Bible believing.Episcopal church.

I have received a number of compliments from women for my presentation.

John

I get compliments about my fashion choices! "I like your top" was a compliment I received at a fish and chips restaurant. I was wearing a purple golf polo with a thin yellow plaid stripes.

Marion

I was at a gun show once in FL (think: as conservative a crowd as there could be) talking to a vender. After moving on my wife wondered if his bra was because of gynecomastia. Bra? You'd think I, of all people, would have noticed that, but I didn't.

I recently went to Walmart and left my very-padded bra on under my hoodie. In the mirror I could tell, but to the best of my knowledge no one else did.

I care! I am always in the lookout for bras! Kind of a mind game of guess the bra make and model and cup size. Lol. Mainly women but I watch men too! And Walmart is a great place to look. Can not believe how many are wearing Ill fitting bras out there.

Karren,
If James Bond were to crossdress, then you would be the obvious choice to head up Q Branch for MI6.