philosophical question for your psyche

Here's a question that has no right answer, and could be different for each person. We crossdressers like women's things, and some of us want to be female. We're also male anatomically, and most of us were raised to be men. When you get really cerebral, exploring possible reasons why you crossdress (beyond the in-the-moment excitement), is it as much not wanting to be so masculine as it is exploring the feminine? Would you characterize yourself as not-male rather than female? Put another way, if gender is seen as a spectrum rather than a choice of two commonly recognized, where would you place yourself?

I think I'm more in the not wanting to be so male category, and I place myself about fifty percent between genders. Sometimes I might be more comfortable on the female end, others as a male, and if I had to choose which anatomy to have, I'd truly consider the anatomy I don't have. But I wouldn't want the limitations of either gender.

Good question, I would put my self as not male 60% fem/40%male

I spent most of my life pretending to be a male because I had a male body. Now I can live as the girl I was born.

I like being both. I definitely find myself indentifying more with women, and with female behaviour patterns in general, but I really do enjoy being male as well. I have been lately allowing my male self to be more feminine, so that may be helping with my happiness.

If genders a spectrum, I'm about 60% female/40% male.

I'm probably 60% Male, but feel most at home if I'm let in proper girly chats so who knows

I would put myself about female 65%, male 35%.

Maybe 50/50.

I played MMORPG with a female character. Even if people know there are few women in theses games, usually other players consider you as a member of the gender you play. I could experiment the pleasant aspects of feminity, and others unpleasant. I was pampered, helped, flirted, given a lot of things ... BUT ... never listened for important decisions, sometimes insulted, and was the main character of sexist humor. That's the reason why I had to explain to players that I was in fact a man, and I understood a part of my virility. That might be a reason why GG sometimes play male characters.

If I was a GG, maybe I would be more (70/30), but I am not, I don't know.

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Originally Posted by thea

I think I'm more in the not wanting to be so male category, and I place myself about fifty percent between genders. Sometimes I might be more comfortable on the female end, others as a male, and if I had to choose which anatomy to have, I'd truly consider the anatomy I don't have. But I wouldn't want the limitations of either gender.

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That's pretty much where I am. But for me it's not really about not wanting to be so male, at least not psychologically or gender-wise. It's more about embracing that part of me that simply isn't male. I don't worry so much about how long my list of male traits is. Whatever I am, I try to be.

Now when we get into the physical realm then I do get so frustrated that my body is so darned male. It's almost like I'm a characature (sp?) and it really bothers me. I feel like I look like a jock who's pretending to be a cheerleader. And that's not what I'm about at all.

I know what you mean about choosing the anatomy you don't have. I've lived in a male body for 38 years. Given the choice I'd love to spend the next 38 years in a female body. But since science can't give me a female body I guess I'll have to look at above the waist customizations (if you'll pardon the euphamism.)

I often wonder if the limitations of the male and female gender are natural or largely the result of conforming to what society says people should be. It seems to me that people who ignore those constraints find themselves a lot less limited than most people. The Transgender community may be the most visible example of this, but we are hardly unique.

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Originally Posted by Makina

I played MMORPG with a female character. Even if people know there are few women in theses games, usually other players consider you as a member of the gender you play. I could experiment the pleasant aspects of feminity, and others unpleasant. I was pampered, helped, flirted, given a lot of things ... BUT ... never listened for important decisions, sometimes insulted, and was the main character of sexist humor. That's the reason why I had to explain to players that I was in fact a man, and I understood a part of my virility. That might be a reason why GG sometimes play male characters.

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I've found the same experiences playing a female character in World of Warcraft. It's really interesting how many male characters will flirt with me, give me gifts, or be very protective of me if we're adventuring in a group. I guess it's just the assumption that since I'm a female character, there's probably a girl behind the keyboard as well.

Well, I will say that in the last few months it has changed.
So Here it is”

Since a kid I felt wrong. Liked girls a lot, never was anything but repulsed by men and male bodies and parts. But envied girls and their clothes and beautiful long hair.

In my 20’s I was fantasying and dreaming about being a woman. I do not like my body, would love to get rid of that thing down there and have for a long time felt that I should have breasts.

But I would say if one was to quantify all my attributes. I would say I am about 60-70 percent female.

I still love women and find them sexually attractive. I still find male bodies ugly and unattractive.

I am independent but passive and not very assertive. But would not want to be controlled or dominated as a woman, but do not like being the decision maker all the time.

My wife knows of my gender confusion but not to the extent it is. I do not talk about it, she is obvious uncomfortable with it, (she make fun of me for having a female avatar in Second life.)

So what am I, I do not know. That is why they call it gender confused.

I have never tried to analyse why I like feminine things and I have more empathy with women than with men.
I am a man - look at me and you will see that.
I am not a "soft" man that could just as easily have been a woman.
I am (and always have been) totally hetero in my sexual behaviour and thoughts.
I have always thought that women were subjugated to secondary roles and done my best to help and encourage them not to accept this.

And most importantly I have always liked wearing women's clothing, especially lingerie, and I have never asked myself why.

Love from New Zealand
Primrose

LisaK,

When people are used considering you as a girl, even after they know, they feel themselves the right to pretend talking to a girl. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not ...

But it remains a great way to become a woman (even virtually), and try social relationship as a woman ...

I may have lived and worked as a male for many long years, but I have, for the last several years, felt the female side of me wanting to come out more and more each day. I no longer envy the pro ballplayer, but admire a beautiful woman and wonder how I would look in her dress!, shoes, makeup or hair style.
If in fact Iam 60/40, I would love to reverse the numbers, atleast.

JamieK

I personally do not consider myself female, and have no desire to become one, as I cannot have all the functions a GG has, which is something I have come to accept. Wearing women's clothes for me is much an individuality statement for me, as much as it is because I enjoy it, and it just feels "right". I would say 75% male 25% female in my mind, when I am dressed fully and out and about the balance shifts considerably probably 60% female 40% male and I behave in a much more lady like manner.
I play an MMORPG regularly and use a male character there a number of female characters who are about a large majority are male I'm sure some will CD's, but most just pick it because the female characters are nicer to look at than male ones, I picked a male character because it resembles the real me more than a female one would.

Hugs
Amelia xxx

Sometimes I find myself wanting to be more female than male so I guess I would have to say for myself I'm about 65 female and 35 male.

This is tough. I have in the last couple of years become more and more female and have wanted that progression to continue very much. I was and still am an athlete to some degree, but I find myself spending more time trying to do more of the Fem things. So my little fetish of many years has turned me more female and opened my eyes to the many different ways one can CD, and I have so much enjoyed everyday of it, rather I have :love: it.

I am more male probably at a 60/40 rate. It doeasn't change much evn when fully dressed and made up the female percentage may come up a bit to 50/50 at best.

80 fem./20male. I feel that's were my happiness lies in life. Good question.

I'm more male than female for sure. Probably 66.6666% male and 33.3333% female and .0001% other... Hehe. Ignoring significant figures that is....

Love Karren

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Originally Posted by thea

myself about fifty percent between genders. Sometimes I might be more comfortable on the female end, others as a male, and if I had to choose which anatomy to have, I'd truly consider the anatomy I don't have. But I wouldn't want the limitations of either gender.

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Thea, I'm at the same place as you are! I feel I right in the middle. Move one way one time and the other way the next time. Would love to have a perfect feminine body! I'm not sure I'd be willing to pay the price one has to for having it though.

Really good question!
I think for me it's: not male - 55% / female - 45%

I have the "body bits" of a male but would prefer the opposite; I do not like the current arrangement but at this point in my life I do not see in the foreseeable future that that will change. I would love it to change but alas! I am defiantly on the far side of the female counter.
Samantha

this is a hard question, as when ever i can go farther with my life, i want to be a ts , kinda in the middle, i want to be soft and fem, but theres parts of me that are male , my job , hobbies, i am very attracted to females and soso to men but stil enjoy men. kristy

I am male and like every male I exhibit both male and female traits just as every female exhibits both male and female traits. The difference between me and most males is that I like to look pretty and my concept of pretty usually results in closely resembling a female. I have no desire to be a woman; I am quite content with being who I am. Just because I like being pretty, smelling pretty, looking pretty is not justification to become a woman. I have learned through experience to cope with life as it was delt to me. To change genders would require years of therapy and for what, so I could wear womens cloths, makeup and so on. To wish for or daydream about such things would only lend confusion to my life. The truth is that I have a loving wife who accepts me for who I am. I have fathered 3 children.
This was my destiny and so was being a crossdresser because I will always want to feel pretty!

I am probably 60/40, male/female. It's kinda funny because when I was about 18, I desperately wanted to be female. I felt that I had the wrong body, yet being in a small town it was just far too embarrassing to admit...especially to the family doctor which would have had to be my first port of call. Now, thank goodness, I never let the misery of my youth change my life too drastically. I have never been attracted to men, so I would have been unlikely to have gotten SRS anyhow.
I have now come to accept what I am, and that's a crossdresser. I just enjoy the wearing of womens clothes, plain and simple. I don't think I'm confused anymore, and everyone here just proves that I am normal...whatever normal might be.+?

Penny, you've described me to a "T", except that my wife is not yet accepting (I'm still working on it!), and doesn't look like changing her mind, and I've only fathered 2 kids. Kids? They're in their 30s now, and one's about to have her own child in January, so I'll be a grandfather for the first time, and I'm really loking forward to that! No one else apart from my wife (and you lovely lot here) knows of my feminine side, and that's how I want it to stay.

Tony

I'd like to think I'm 50-50 overall as that is where I want to be. I feel contentment when I'm balanced. Unfortunately my way of balancing is to steer one way, steer back the other, and the straight line (so to speak) isn't really that straight, but gets me there. I canoe that way too lol.