Wanting to get caught?

I am way way deep inside the closet. It makes me crazy sometimes since that obviously limits "freedom and expression." I don't have the nerve to tell anyone and am often franticly running around my house to hide things when someone pulls in the driveway.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I forget to hide a piece of women’s clothing. What would I say to whoever found it? Sometimes I think it would be easier to "get caught" and explain that way rather then to just come out and tell people. Sometimes I feel like I WANT to get caught.

I know exactually how you feel the thrill of being exposed . the humiliation of it all gets your panties in a tissy. Finding out that the ones you love will not ridicule you and actually support you would be the best

Hi Susan,

I guess that most of us "in the closet" share the dilemma of sort of wanting to be caught out but at the same time terrified it might happen.

As Denise says, it would be great to be found out if the end result was that it turned out our loved ones were totally supportive of our feminine sides; but what if they were violently opposed..............what then?????

PS: Must just go and check I have put everything away before my wife gets home from her day out!!! (Truely!!)

I used to be real uptight about getting 'caught." But, after a while I have found myself taking chances I would not normally take... Can't say that I want to be found out, but sometimes it is just too much hassle to hide everything and it interfers with who I am.

At one time I was terrified that someone would find out. Most of the people I work with would never come over. There are some people that come over that I don't want to catch me be they don't come over when I am dressed anyway.

I cant say for sure I want to get caught but I must say that anymore I do take alot of chances and have been caught by the authorities when out driving and yes I am in the closet. You get over it okay though there is still that fear of being caught by friends or family.

you know the real irony of this situation is very few people care whether you cd or not----I'm assuming that you are either single or if married that your wife knows and at least tolerates it when she isn't around so you don't have to worry about being "caught" by a spouse----believe Me, nobody else is likly to give a damn Scarlett!!

Hi

I think there is something in this wanting to get caught. I'm firmly in the closet, except that years ago I did tell my wife about my love of wearing womens underwear. I think she would be a little surprised to see me as I appear here. Anyway I have recently transferred my skirts, tops and dresses into the wardrobe tha we share. I'm sure one day she will find them as they are not really hidden, just hanging down one end behind my male clohes.

Now all I have to do is somehow broach the issue and discuss it with her like the man I'm not!!!, before she finds my clothes and wonders what the hell is going on...

i assume you are single.. but people don't care and if you can at least pass a little it does not matter. should you tell your friends then when the shock wave passes you know who your real friends are.. i live full time and for 6 months went to my bank always en femme. but last week i was sick and did not bother to dress so when i went to the teller she knew me as mj and when my info came up on the screen ask for id !!! so when she found out. all she said was i look much better when dress .. after that nothing was ever said i still get treated with respect and no one got hurt ... except my pride .
there seems to be a lot more understanding out there now-days so let go your fear and do it .. once it's done it's out there you can't take it back so you might as well enjoy your new found freedom ... hugs .

I think it is a real moral dilemma. You have to establish your personal priorities then let them guide you. If it is "I dont care" then you have taken into account those around you and their reaction. Time for the talk.

If you do care, stay in the closet and be careful.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

Hi Susan,
Yeah, I sometimes wonder if it would just be easier to get caught. Don't have to worry about trying to bring the topic up. Wouldn't it be nice to not worry about picking every little thing up, a little left over polish or makeup, and being able to wear what you like?
Well, it won't be happening for me anytime soon, but it would be nice

:0)

Getting caught is highly over rated, in my opinion!!!!! Wish it had never happened to me for sure!

Love Karren

The trouble with getting caught is that you've no control over the situation, and whoever finds you out will quite possibly be shocked. It won't be the best way to come out.

Jan

I can appreciate what you are saying and I'm sure your feelings / fears are common to many of us. It's something we all have to deal with.

I too have been afraid of being "found out", but as I've grown older--and hopefully wiser--the fears have subsided. I finally have come to the conclusion that this is a part of who I am. I enjoy letting my femme self out too much to have to "hide" each time I am dressed.

Once I overcame the anxiety, I have found that others do not really care--they're too caught up with their own lives. Just about everyone I encounter while dressed treats me just fine--the world doesn't come to an end and folks just go about their own business. Oh yah, there's always the exception that points, or makes a remark or smirks, but I've come to have fun with them. I put on my best smile, look them right in the eye and say "hello". Almost without exception, they are the ones that then become embarrassed and don't know what to say.

I agree with many of the others in that you may find out that once your "secret" is out it will not be as bad as you thought. In fact, it's really not what you wear, but who you are, that really counts. Be true to yourself, don't hurt others and enjoy the real you!

So, put on that special outfit and go out and be the girl you wanna be!

Melanie

I tell them that I have a girl Friend.. I she is married. and she buys stuff and sends it to my adress.. so she can wear what she bought when we go out
when he hubby is on trips,,,, This way no one asks who she is.
or I say I'll never tell.......

(I agree with many of the others in that you may find out that once your "secret" is out it will not be as bad as you thought. In fact, it's really not what you wear, but who you are, that really counts. Be true to yourself, don't hurt others and enjoy the real you!)
The thought of being caught is a great rush but this does ware off.
for some reason i came out to three girl friend inthe past and did not suffer any i effects i mattied the last one and we've been together for 13 years!!:hugs:

I'm wondering about this. For most of my life, unless I was with kinky friends, I did not want my crossdressing (or other things for that matter) found out. Since moving up here I've worn my forms more often and hose, which could possibly be seen when walking out and about. My family is 650 miles away, I don't have to be worried about bumping into any of them when I am out. In fact, almost everyone I know (not that many) up here, know I am kinky, are crossdresser and kink friendly, or in the scene themselves. So, being seen by them would be no big deal. Yet, I'm wondering if I have a secret little urge to be noticed with the forms.

Hrrmm.. I just thought, there is this restaurant/lounge that has a great happy hour dinner. Several of us meet there Saturdays and Sundays. Being regulars, we know the staff. My friends tell me that one of the ladies seems interested in me. Heh.. I'm clueless about things like that. I'm not sure I want to be 'discovered' by her. At least not at the moment. Hrrmm this could morph into a thread about dating.. maybe later.. when I get back..

Before my wife know I forgot to put some thing away my wife had thoughts of my having a woman at the house it's a long storie as of her knowing but now it alot e-z er not hiding thing some times when we are shopping we get something for angie :hugs:
Angie

Getting caught is a relative thing. It's what happens to you after that counts. I think we all would love to be caught if the outcome is positive. I'm not so sure getting caught would be good if something bad happened like losing your SO or job or whatever. I like to think about getting caught and having it all work out. Call it the romantic in me!:heehee:

Getting caught or telling? I really don't know what is easier, of course there's the big trust issue on the one, but we all have felt that way.

You wrote, earlier, about getting caught several times as a youth by your sister and mother, wearing your sister’s clothes. Seems that you were punished for it, but went back to it.

Maybe, just guessing here, some of us really want the excitement of getting
"caught"!

Wanting to get caught depends on who it is that you want to catch you!

It was a form of excitement for me to push the envelope, as far as being public or being caught.

I have been stopped twice by traffic cops fully dressed, (me not the cops....lol) exciting for me...but not for them, as they see us all the time.

I even got a compliment from one, gave me a warning and let me go! He did a double take when he looked at my driver’s lic....lol

I know friends and family that would not understand my crossdressing, so I make sure that they will never be offended by it. It would only hurt my relationship with them, as they know me as a completely different person

Figure out who it is that you are leaving your lingerie out for. Leave your girly stuff out and invite this person over....if they comment tell them it is yours.....if you have figured it out right...they will not care. Be careful!

Have fun out there!

Hi Susan, I understand completely. The answer is simple. At least for me. Being in the closet is tough. I think every one of us has a VERY strong desire to just walk out the closet door and be accepted. To be viewed as though we've never been anything but a woman. We have a need TO tell and a fear NOT to tell all at the same time. I have always wanted to get caught so I wouldn't have to tell. Make sense? My wife told our adult kids about me this morning. Now I won't have to tell or worry about getting caught. Maybe now I can open up to others. Catch me if you can. :hugs:

Carla's reply is so true. You want to be caught by those you want to know.

Wow. Allot of good replies. I didn't expect to get so many. :) Thanks!
I don't know if I so much WANT to get caught, but rather be caught and then use that as an excuse to talk about it.

If I got caught all i'd say is, "It is what it is." Those who can get it will get it rather quickly. Those who can't get it quickly, probably won't get it.

In some ways i'd prefer getting caught. That's means I have less to explain.

I have been stupid several times, I forgot a wig in the 2nd bathroom the first time. Another time, I left out a brush, I confessed, it was mine. told my wife the truth, I liked to crossdress. Recently I handwashed a bra and panties and hung them up in the bathroom while I cleaned up. Well, I forgot them. Even though she knows I CD, she doesn't like it. That's the way it goes!

Before I finally "told", I sometimes would hope to be caught, or even to have an item of clothing found .. just something big enough to be a catalyst for talking.

I must say that I now regret having told my sons. One of them, the older (23), seems ok with it .. but the other (19) seems to be very upset if/when the subject is brought up -- they have not seen me dressed, nor have they seen my clothes, they have only been told about it.

... but yeah, when I go out, sometimes I catch myself wanting to be "caught" or "read". It's a wierd dynamic, adds a little bit of excitement to a truly dull life.

I went out dressed all day on halloween. I was seen by several people I know who mentioned it to others. I received a few comments for a week or two, no one has mentioned it lately. If I were outed I doubt if any of my friends would really care.

That’s Halloween.
You can get away with anything then! :) It's probably the only time a closet CD'r (like me) can go out dressed with no expectations or intimidations. Or, most of all, having to explain other then saying "It's Halloween!"

If only someone would find the bodies under my floorboards... then I'd be caught and sent to prison, and the killings could stop!

Oops, sorry, thought I was on the murderers.com forum!

I was also imagining quite a few times that it would be exciting to get caught all dressed up. But when that really happend to me, I wet myself from embarrassment and fear. (sometimes I go out at night walking around fully dressed in the other side of the city, quite far from my neighbourhood. The reason for that is, that no one from my family or friends know about my passion yet).
I was totally unprepared when a cop stopped me while I was walking back to my car. I wasn't expecting that, since I didn't see him walking toward me until it was too late. He stopped me and I started stuttering because of embarrassment and at the same time peeing down my legs. He clearly saw that but I just couldn't stop. Finally I managed to stop, but huge puddle was already under my feet and pants visibly wet. I was so angry with myself, how could I choose exactly that night for wearing knee length light blue colored female jeans and not long skirt or at least something dark colored. Really soooo humiliating, especially since he was giggling all the time while establishing my true identity. I was so scared that he would arrested me or something. Luckly he let me go, since I didn't do anything wrong, but I had to walk all wet another 15 minutes back to my car where I had my male jeans and I could change. That 15 minutes felt like an hour to me.
After that incident I was gathering courage almost 6 months to go out again dressed like a woman.

Getting Caught by a Just Anybody is not soo bad, I would think, Like a cop or UPS Guy.. They are just randomes....
By a family member or a friend "especially" a Male Buddy would be the worse as far as FEAR GOES.
They say Honesty is THE BEST policy.. I think NOT ALWAYS! Sometimes this will hurt you..
As far as an answer to this question = WHO KNOWs. It depends upon the individuale and the settings..