Female Friends

I have a number of very good friends who are female and know nothing about my dressing. It has always been a great fantasy of mine to invite one or two of these ladies to lunch at a nice restaurant and show up as Wendy.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure and saitisfaction then to spend a nice lunch, lipstick to lipstick, with one of these lovely ladies.

I basically have no idea what their reaction would be. I purchase a lot of my fem clothes with the idea in mind: Could I wear this outfit to lunch with Mary Lou and Donna? That way I don't waste my money on outrageous stuff. I want to be seen as a girlfriend to these people. And, really, I want to continue to be a male friend to them also.

Does anyone else have the same type of thoughts or any idea of what would happen?

If I thought they were open minded and willing to accept me, Yea I'd give it a whirl...

...but around here even the women are bigoted and close minded...well not all, I got my wife...

:2c: You ask an interesting question to which I hope I will give an interesting answer.
I have been en femme to several parties and have chatted with several women whom I had just met. I have found that many women are interested in conversations with me about corssdressing and are not at all of mind to condemn the practice and many are interested in learning more about it.
There is one very limiting factor that I have encountered- a woman usually will not object to a man crossdressing unless he is her husband!
Intersting paradox.
So to answer the question- yes, I think your friends would be more than likely to accept and enjoy being with you as a girl

that depends on how you think they would react..... their your Friends and you should know if you should or not.....

A few questions are these women friends someone you work with? Do they know any of your male friends and would tell them about your CDing? If no talk to them about dressing up or CDing to see how they feel. Then you could do want was best for them and you.

Let me clarify some things. The female friends I am talking about are the women in couples, who my wife and I have been friends with for years. The kind of firends where you spend every New Years Eve together for the last many years.
The six of us are really close friends.

The men would shit their pants if they knew about my dressing. I am guessing the women would laugh and then we wouldn't see those couples anymore. I may be wrong. I don't want to jeopardize our beautiful friendships. But I can mentally picture myself sitting with those women dressed as Wendy and having a wonderful time.

I wish it was as easy as them calling me up and asking Wendy to go to lunch one day and asking Jim to go to lunch another day. I guess that is what we are all hoping to happen at some point in our CD lives.

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Originally Posted by carol anne

:2c: There is one very limiting factor that I have encountered- a woman usually will not object to a man crossdressing unless he is her husband!
Intersting paradox.

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Yes very interesting isnt it and it is so true!

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Originally Posted by Wendrme

... The female friends I am talking about are the women in couples, who my wife and I have been friends with for years. The kind of firends where you spend every New Years Eve together for the last many years.
The six of us are really close friends.

The men would shit their pants if they knew about my dressing. ...

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Don't forget that no matter how close you feel you are to these people, they are bound to be more loyal to their partners than to you. So it is extremely probable that once your female friends know, then it will not be long before their partners know also - even if they have been told not to let you know that they know.
So I think you need to be comfortable with the whole group knowing - not just part of it

Good luck

Tania

I would err on the side of caution in this case. That said, it is one of my life goals to be accepted by my female friends (also part of couples) while enfemme.

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Originally Posted by Wendrme

Let me clarify some things. The female friends I am talking about are the women in couples, who my wife and I have been friends with for years. The kind of firends where you spend every New Years Eve together for the last many years.
The six of us are really close friends.

The men would shit their pants if they knew about my dressing. I am guessing the women would laugh and then we wouldn't see those couples anymore. I may be wrong. I don't want to jeopardize our beautiful friendships. But I can mentally picture myself sitting with those women dressed as Wendy and having a wonderful time.

I wish it was as easy as them calling me up and asking Wendy to go to lunch one day and asking Jim to go to lunch another day. I guess that is what we are all hoping to happen at some point in our CD lives.

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The problem with dressing up is that men are threatened by it and presume that it means you are somehow "less than a man." Even if the ladies did not mind (and this is also an assumption because if you looked better than they did it could be a problem), it would probably wreck the friendship because of the misconceptions that surround CDing.

In the situation you refer to, it would not be a good idea to do what you want to -at least not without finding a way of testing the water first so you have an idea of how they would react. I am sure the other ladies here could give many ideas of how to do that. Just make sure whatever you do for a test that it enables you to pull back if things do not look favorable. And if it looks favorable with the first test, find some other way to test without appearing to be testing them. And then a third one if the second one passes muster.

One thing is certain: it would be a lot easier if they were not such close friends of you and your wife.

well there is only one way to find out " right " so just do it. it's your dream if you pay the bill then go for it

Maybe asking them if they have seen... Say Mrs. Doubtfire, for instance and see what their views are before doing anything.

My ice breaker with women who I want to tell, but am not sure of their reaction is to show them a picture of me dressed. I recently did that with my current avatar (about a month old now). I ask them something simple like, do they know this person. They look and look, but have never known it was me. I then tell them it's something I've done on occassion and the conversation then moves on from there. Just a thought...

As my mom had always said to me , in a high voice " If they're laughfing you dont need'em cuz there not good friends " :2c:

I have several GG friends that I enjoy sitting around and chatting with, but they are so's and friends of friends and the CD/TG subject is not new.
I seem to be drawn to the girl chat with friends So's at hunt camp,, you know,, one sec, I gotta shoot my gun,, then ok so how do you cook that again ? LOL
It has crossed my mind how would they take me as Cindy,, but it would not be practical for me to bring it up,,,, maybe someday things will change but for now , I will just be known as the guy that likes to share recepies :)

Cindy

I would not just suddenly show up dressed to the lipstick when they previously have no idea. I might try talking to them about some nice clothes you both see in a store, or something you see someone else wearing, and talk about how you'd like that for yourself. Or wear something feminine with your otherwise drab clothes. Gradually slide them in to it, don't sock it to them.

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Originally Posted by Wendrme

I want to be seen as a girlfriend to these people. And, really, I want to continue to be a male friend to them also.

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I saw another person at a church I used to go to try to get the others in the congregation call her by a femme name when she was in drag, and by an homme name when he showed up in drab, and it seemd to me that lot of people had trouble with the concept. This was obviously the same person, but did he want us to hide one of his identities from the other? It was almost like he was trying to enforce on them something that seemed like schizophrenia.

I remained Bill now matter how I was dressed, and the others had little trouble adjusting to that.

Why dont' you and your wife try to make friend with other couples where the hubby is a cd and the wife is accepting?...then this would be something that "could" happen.

My husband and I have a good tight knit of couple friends, all non-sexual, just really like family. We go out to dinner, do the club thing, and every New Year we have a party at our house, with the guys dressed en femme. I guess most of the guys always dreamed of having situations liek ours, but truely I think for our friends and for us, it is all pretty much the same as when they come over and cding is not involved.

Hi Wendy,
I think that most of us would give almost anything to have some real gg friends in our lives on a regular basis. However, as has been pointed out, opening up to these friends of SO's could have a huge impact and it may not be good. If the word gets around , and it likely will, you and your SO could be on the outs with the group and your SO could end up having a real issue with that. The price could be high and it is a no return deal.

Having said all that, I too wanted to open up to a divorced friend. (We used to be friends with them as a couple then he went nutso, he dummy. ) Anyway I almost told her one nite over a dinner after I had done some work for her, but chickened out. About 6 monts later she decided to move back up north. In the meantime I had a convesation with her about how she felt about gays and others with non-traditional life stlyes and found she was very accepting. Since my window of opportunity was closing I took the leap and told her. With her moving I felt pretty safe. And she agreed to keep it between us. In fact I asked her to give me some help with make up and an honest opinion of how I looked. She agreed. We ended up meeting one morning and I dressed. She said I could be my sister. She gave me some tips, even wanted to see how I walked and gave me some more tips on that. Then we went to brunch. It was a morning that I will remember forever. What a loss her move was for me.

What I guess I have spent a lot of time saying is the need is strong, and the reward can be high, but it can also be a very bad idea. A solo freind is one thing, a group is another. Good luck.

Hugs,
Joanna

I think that Katrina is right: be cautious. I would have to be. However, I have thought about this many times. I would love to have a few GG friends with whom I could have lunch, chat over a cup of coffee, stroll the pathways of a mall to shop, go to a play or movie. I don't have such a group. I continue to wish and hope for it.
I believe that there are quite a few women who work for my company who would be open to this, but to approach them would be to impose a burden of confidentiality on them that I could not expect them to carry. Thus the women I know and believe might be accepting are the ones whom I could not impose upon. Somewhere, though, there may be some women who will be able and willing to help me fulfill my wishes.

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Originally Posted by Katrina

I would err on the side of caution in this case. That said, it is one of my life goals to be accepted by my female friends (also part of couples) while enfemme.

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I carpooled with a gg for over 3 years, in LA traffic which means we spent more time with each other during the week than our spouses. I never in a million years would have thought I would come out to her but gradulaly over time it just slowly came out. She asked if I would mind stopping on the commute home so she could buy shoes. She noticed that I was way to helpful and having too much fun. That was two years ago, and I dressed for her a couple of months ago. We didn't go anywhere but she let me hang out with her at home completely dressed. I told her we are building up to the enfemme shopping trip.

Your situation sounds different she is my main freind rather than her husband. I will say that if she was not OK with it I would stop in an instant cause her freindship is more valuable to me than my dressing.

You could always test the waters like I did. When they showed up at my house I had my toes painted a neon green. They took a couple glances, and a couple minutes to relax, then it was a fun evening with the wife and friends playing games and eating pizza.

I've told several of my female friends and even some of my male friends what I like to do. So far only one out of probably 15 or so has reacted negatively. I would recommend that you talk to them one on one instead of just showing up as Wendy at lunch. I would leave that till after you've broken the ice. That way it wont come as such a shock. If you're in a public place shocking your friends is not generally a good thing to do.

If the six of you are close friends, then this decision involves your wife also. Ask your wife first to see how she feels, because this will impact her alot also. How about trying a Halloween party instead of a New Year's party? You could go dressed up and see their reaction. This could open a door gently, instead of slamming it open. Firstly, and most important though, is to consider your wife's feelings on this matter. Good luck! :D

I think that I would stick to it just being a fantasy - You've got too much to lose here. Just my two cents.

Just showing up as Wendy! That's called an ambush, and that could go from fantasy to nightmare real quick. And I have to agree, as these are mutual friends of yours and your wife's I would not even think about ti with out talking it over with her. You might not care about lossing this other couples as friends, but your wife might, and there is no way they would not tell there husbands, why whould they keep quite about it, I am sure it is not their fantasy!

I never had that desire ut I think you should give it a shot!!! Wear something pretty!! But don't look prettier than they do!! lol They might hate you for that....

Karren

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Originally Posted by erinwoodrose

I am good friends with all of my wifes girlfriends, and always have had the fantacy of going out with them on a girls night out! A few of them would probably have fun with making me over once ... but probably wouldn't like to know that this was something I do regularly. And I wouldn't want to lose there friendship for my wife or myself!

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Goes for me too. I often have to drive my wife and several of her friends to a restaurant or club for their evening out and wish I could join them 'as one of the girls'.

Love Maddie :hugs:

I must admit that being out in public en femme and spending time with GGs when doing so, is one of the most favorite things I like most about CDing. I absolutely love it when my wife and I hook up with a group of friends from this very board from the San Francisco area. Out of the 6 of us that usually attend, 3 of them are accepting GGs. One time we went out and one of the GGs brought along one of her friends and that night the CDs were in the minority!

But to answer your question ...I would be a little bit cautious about this. I definitely wouldn't show up en femme unannounced, that's way too risky. I'm assuming your GG friends already think of you (somewhat) as "just one of the girls" and therefore not threatened by you being a guy in their girly group. I think I would wear something obviously femme (like maybe a pink sweater) the next time you have lunch with them and see what sort of comments are made, (if any) next time wear some eyeliner with your sweater. If nothing negative happens you could mention that it's not just sweaters and eyeliner that you like to wear.

Coming out to GGs friends is not the same a coming out to partners and SOs. I think it's easier because there's no intimate connection involved.

Since I came out I have talked to many of my girl friends and they get all excited about it. I even got invited to these little makeup parties they throw before they go out! As long as they seem relatively open minded I wouldn't sweat it.

:hugs:
Tess

Wendy, I like Suzieq's advice, best, and all had good input. On the lighter side, in jest, just show up, at a restaurant, as Wendy, and when they react, say,"SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA'!

Love to do it with my best friend Barb. But women like to gossip. I wouldn't want the whole side of town to know.

HI;

I also would love to open up to my ladies freinds , and be one of the girls , but as most have said you have to take this slow , As for myself I have tried with this with a few and receive some mixed results as ,but I,am just waiting to see if anything come of it ,if not I will not push it as would not want to lose there freindship in any way. This subject and the replys have been on my mind for along while and as been vert helpful and I to say thank for being it up.

My love to all
Terry xxx

HI;

I also would love to open up to my ladies freinds , and be one of the girls , but as most have said you have to take this slow , As for myself I have tried with this with a few and receive some mixed results as ,but I,am just waiting to see if anything come of it ,if not I will not push it as would not want to lose there freindship in any way. This subject and the replys have been on my mind for along while and as been very helpful and I to say thank for opening it up.

My love to all
Terry xxx

I have thought about being in this type of situation, enjoying a social gathering with it being something that is totally normal and with me being dressed totally femme, me also being totally normal and being accepted as Fiona. You have to hold on to dreams as they just may happen !

Huggs :hugs:

Fiona