Has anyone here ever told their mother, or been caught by her and got a positive reaction?
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Has anyone here ever told their mother, or been caught by her and got a positive reaction?
When I was 13, mom caught me in a piar of pantyhose heels and a bra. Unfortunately her reaction was anything but positive.:(
Nope! Both times that she caught me there was a lot of scolding, and when my dad caught me once.... "What do you think that thing is? A C***!" I didn't go to work with him that day. Went out and hid my stuff in the woods.
No, my mother knew about me, my ex told her many years ago when we were having problems, but it was never mentioned to me while she was living.
Told mom, she was ok with it and appreciates it's important to me. Can't say she was positively thrilled though.
Jasmine57.
What did your mother do?
Hi,
I told my mother about 10 years ago. She was in Minnesota for a visit, and one day I just decided it was time she knew the truth about me. We sat down on the couch and must have talked for three hours. My Mom and I had always been close, so I thought she'd be okay with my telling her. However, she was also a staunch and lifelong Southern Baptist, so I had a little trepidation about her response from a religious perspective. Nevertheless, Mom was cool with the news. When I'd finished telling her about my situation, she said the best thing she could've possibly uttered: "You are my child, and there is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you." I wish every trans person could hear that from a parent--the world would be a better and more loving place.
Mom passed away in August of 2003 from a variety of illnesses that took a cumulative toll on her body. I was able to be with her on the day she died, and I just happened to have a galley proof of my last book with me (Transgender Journeys, co-written with Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, Ph.D.). I pulled the manuscript out of my briefcase and showed it to her. Though she was too weak to speak, her eyes widened and she smiled broadly. She knew, and I believe she was proud of me.
I'm so glad I was able to tell my Mom who and what I truly am, and I'm even happier that she was able to accept me and love me unreservedly. I'll always be grateful for that unconditional love. I hope that each of us can experience that in some way, somehow. I realize that not everyone is as fortunate to be as close to their Mom as I was, and some mothers just aren't ready or willing to be accepting of their trans children. However, let's keep working toward the day when being transgender is viewed as a gift and not a curse, a blessing and not a disadvantage, a joy and not a drag (so to speak).
Thanks for letting me share this about my Mom. She was a wonderful person, and I miss her every day. In fact, she was my role model. I've even been told that I look a lot like her. What a compliment!
Vanessa
Sometime following my Dad's death, I worked up the courage to come out (via telephone) to my Mom. I talked for quite a while and she listened to everything I had to say. We've had at least a half dozen crossdressing-related conversations since and my Mom has also viewed a small photo album of Michelle that I keep handy (although she has never actually seen me crossdressed in person.)
None of this news has exactly made my Mom's day, but she at least seems to recognize that this is important to me...but, I have learned through conversations with my sister that my Mom is really perplexed by my crossdressing. She just doesn't see anything feminine at all about me and does not understand why I feel the way(s) I do. In any event, I feel good because no matter what, I know that I am not hiding anything or keeping secrets...
I came out to my Mum just last week. The reaction at first was shock and surprise but she is ok with it. She wanted to know why but I don't think anyone can give a good answer for that other than it's me and I enjoy it. Anyway, she has given me some make-up and bought me a real looking wig as a belated birthday present so you can't get much more positive than that. I don't want to push things too fast so I have not been dressed in front of her, and won't until she is ready.
Yes, I told my mother! It was several years ago. I purchased a new skirt while shopping with my daughter. When we got home, we agreed that it would look better if it was a little shorter. Well, my mother is a very good seamstress, and I went over and had a talk with her about my dressing. After we got through talking, I asked her to hem my new skirt!:D She just said not to make a habit of it!
Love, DAVIDA
My Mom has known for years. She is very supportive and loves to see my new clothes. We have a fashion show when she is here for Thanksgiving. She has been shopping with me en femme. She really enjoys it. It's really great!
I knew a gay guy years ago. He told the story of coming out to his mother. She was a real housewife type, totally into serving her family. It was the '70s, and there was a real push to come out of the closet among gay men. So he goes home for a visit, and tells her. He said it was the worst thing he ever did. Every visit and phone call after that, she wondered aloud what she had done wrong to make him a fairy. He lived in Provincetown, and was totally cool with his sexuality, but dealing with his sympathetic but neurotic mom was the bane of his life. His reaction was "so much for that honesty crap!" No doubt that's just one possible response, but it shows that even when they aren't hostile, parents can be very hard to deal with when it comes to being honest with them. Turning it around, would you want to watch your folks have sex? Ick! Some things can be better left un-said.
Well, not being a true girl there was a situation that was quite embarassing. After the screaming and her telling me how sick I was, she made me walk to my room and get changed. She told dad about it but he never said a word. Mom did relay some messages from him however, including being grounded and being yanked off the swim team. It could have been a whole lot worse.
My mom caught me as a teenager wearing her stuff and was cool with it.In late teens, early 20s lived at home with her and dressed all the time in front of her, Id tell her I was changing and if any friends of mine came over she would give me time to change back. After getting married she would let me have stuff delivered to her house and pick it up from there. In November last year got my 1st outfit and shoes and she let me have her place to try it all on for the first time.She didnt want to see me but thats fine.My mom is cool with it and I love her she says its a harmless hobby.Im planning another trip to her place in a few weeks for some Donna time Im sure she will let me.
My mom had to know. She made numerous statements over the years about boys cross dressing. I have read some questions on different web sights about concerned mothers and this question. But I can't find them right now.
wasnt caught. Told my mom. Basic reaction was well, your my son no matter what. She is always telling my wife that she is the better woman for dealing with it.
My mother caught me wearing her clothes several times when growning up. It would be usually do to mistakes on my such as leaving her clothes out when I was finished dressing or not picking good enough hiding places for my clothes. When she found out that I was wearing women's clothes her reaction was very, very bad. :( Jocelyn
At about the age of 10, I dressed up in a leotard with my younger sister and her best friend to play ballet. I have not told my mother about my CDing, she may think it is something I grew out of.
Dee
My mom caught me all dressed up with her makeup on and smoking cigarettes. It was not pretty...in many ways. We never talked about it again.
Dee,
I also dressed in my sister's leotard and tights at age 10. But unlike you I was secretive about it and went the longest wondering what would be their reactions. Many years later after modeling one as part of a costume for my sister and finding out it was no big deal, I had the occasion to live with my parents for a few months while moving back into the same town. Lacking long underwear for cold winter nights, I opted to wear a turtleneck leotard and tights that had been part of a costume for sleeping in. No problems with parents. Mom washed out my leotards and tights every week and left them folded on the bed for me to change into each evening when it came time to get ready for bed. So to that level of dressing, I would have to say mom was supportive, non judgemental.
Hi Everyone: I didn't tell my mother. MY sister complained to her that I had been wearing her pantie girdle (Stains in places girls don't leave stains). So my mother knew I was wearing panties already when she caught me dressed in her underwire bra garterblet/stockings pantygirdle and slip.
She didn't call me names or scream, but did insist I lake off her lingerie in front of her. I was embarrassed not only because I was wearing her lingerie, but I also had an erection at the time.
Several days later I came home from school and found on my bed a J C Penny's shopping bag with my new first bra pantiegirdle and slip inside. My mother had me try them on before she cut the tags off, as she would have done for a girl I think. And she was very discreet about seeing my erection again as I pulled up my new pantiegirdle.
My instructions were to not wear them to school and to not let my father see me in them. Mothers R wonderful!
Much later I found out her friend had advised her to get me my own things and forget about it.
When I was a teenager my mother knew I crossdressed. I thought she was upset about it but now I think it was more the fact that I was wearing someone else's clothes.
About nine months ago I came out to her as trans. That was really weird. It turns out she just wasn't going to go against what my father was saying, so I got the raw end of it unintentionally. These days we don't really talk that much about me being trans but she asks me how my therapy sessions go and I tell her about how my transgender support group meetings go. She knows some of what I've shared both places. So I'd say her reaction is positive.
you were one lucky girlQuote:
Originally Posted by tammie
my mom has never caught me in the act, however, she did notice that her clothes on the rack on in her drawers were all moved out of place and so on, many times..
she confronted me and eventually told my dad.. to this day, I've been carefull not to disturb her clothes from their opriginal places.. I have gone out to buy my own panties, but I still use her bras and wear her clothes.. I want to move away from that stage and eventually purchase my own line.. but my mom didn't seem too pleased, but she wasn't too uptight about it either.. she did want to send me to therapy to which I declined..
I came out to my mother a couple of weeks ago and she seemed to be okay with it. She asked me how long I've been doing it and I told her since about age 11. She asked me if I was gay. I said yes. I asked her if she ever suspected anything and she said she didn't. She told me she wouldn't tell anyone and that she would leave it up to me. I have two younger brothers, the third died about 20 years ago. They were at my mother's place a couple of days after I was there and she told them that I was gay. She seems to have forgotten about the crossdressing part, she has Alzheimer's, and she forgot she wasn't supposed to tell anyone. My youngest brother called me about it so I admitted to being gay but didn't say anything about the crossdressing. I then phoned my other brother and talked him. They both seem to be okay with it and said they would be supportive. I'll tell them about the crossdressing another time once I discuss everything with my wife and children then move out.
My mother had asked me why in the world did I get married? I told her that I had met someone, fell in love, wanted a famliy and thought I would be "cured" of both my crossdressing and my interest in men. When I realized I was wrong I stayed because I felt committed and did the best I could to be a good husband and father. I can't take it anymore and I feel everyone is stable enough to handle it.
Bonnie
Hi All: Dear Bonnie, good luck sweetheart. I hope everything works out for U and that U can remain friends with your wife. It will be a challenge as she will probably be angry with U for starting a life and leaving her.
Can U stay married and crossdress? Or perhaps has she found someone else that she can go forward with in life?
I have eschewed getting married again as I know I am a solitary crossdresser and not only enjoy it but sometimes prefer it to dating. In many ways having a relationship with a woman is so exhausting. Everything has to be about them. Not to mention the cost.
Well, unless screaming, beating, and eventually therapy sessions are a good reaction, then no, not so good. We're okay now, I don't mention it to her and she doesn't mention it to me.
Colleen
I have a feeling that my mom would have been pleased to see me looking like a girl. But she has been dead for 28 years so I will never know.
I guess I was happy when as a child she had no reaction. That was positive enough for me. She used to let me where pantyhose and caught me in a dress and did not make a big deal about it. Of course, I was in my teens.
My mom didn't really like it when I told her. I sent her a long email telling her everything, which maybe wasn't the best idea.
She said she cried a lot, and doesn't understand me. At first she was dead set on getting me a counselor, but I never wanted one. So I guess we're still in a rocky stage as I live with her.
One time I came to watch TV with her wearing a pair of girly pajama pants and she just said that they looked stupid on me.
Just the other day I got a wig from Ebay and she found it, but hasn't brought it up again.
I don't think my mom will ever really come to terms with my dressing :(
I dressed for her for a lot of years and she helped me shop
I live with my Sister,Mom and Nephew.They leave me alone most of the time at my end of the hallway and they are very respectful of my privacy.We all get along just great.A family freind of ours who works as a therapist/counselar told me years ago on more than one ocaision that my Mom would never accept my CD'ing.She would never denounce me or deny that I'm her son.If she had millions of dollars she'd give me some of the money.But she would find my dressing to be freakish and strange.My sister and nephew are very 2007 modern and there's a fairly good chance that they just might accept it.I just might tell them in a few years.Maybe. And I have some cousins that could possibly be cool about it.I'll have to think about it.But come out to my Mom?No way.It would put her in a gloomy,frightened funk which would last for months and she would probably cuss and holler everytime I tried walk up to her and try to talk to her in order to smooth things over.