Female persona, female name (+ some other things)

Hi all, I pretty much just joined on here. Here's some things on my mind.

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha. I guess I tend to act more like a female when I do get a chance to dress up (but if I did dress up and was referred to as a girl, I would like that). I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

I'm going to a wild rave soon and depending if I can get my best GG friend to go as support, I might wear a long skirt and something like a fishnet top, some eyeliner, no other makeup, no bra or anything like that, I think I'd be pushing it enough.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

Thoughts, feelings, advice, etc, go for it. Hope I didn't piss anybody off :straightface:

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Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha

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Well for me it is just "easier" to access my feminine side through a female personna, this may change over time, but for now it a case of me, myself and I :confused: ! I think it also makes it easier if you go out and conform to a pre-defined gender rather than an "in between" look.

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Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

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I'd love to have my own hair (I use to have long hair many years ago), unfortunately nature has left me with a choice of two hair styles neither of which is very feminine, so me for one I'm stuck with a wig :( .

I do admire your approach to CD'ing and maybe it could be argued that yours in the more honest approach. I just love all aspects of the female gender (from clothes, mannerisims, mindset the whole works) and just love to try and emulate (and hopefully one day perfect) what it means to be a women!

I feel the same way, I'm not quite comfortable with taking on a girl name or anything like that, even though I'm currently wearing 100% fem clothes at the moment and some terribly applied makeup (still new at this 8*) ). I guess it just comes down to how strongly one feels about their feminin side. I have frequently been called ma'm in public when I'm wearing boy clothes (I've never really gone out in my pretty clothes) and I always thought it was wierd, but at this point I prefer to be referred to with a masculine pronoun...

For me my femme name is just how I feel. I may be more TG than some others here. As for the hair my attitude towards longer hair is that the older you get the less attractive long hair is on a person. That is just my opinion although it does seem quite a few GGs see it this way also.

Hi M/M, welcome. :hugs:

This forum is for everyone who crossdresses or is an ally or supporter. You'll find that in fact there are a lot more members here that are like you, they may not be as high profile. We run the range of CDng, from simple dressing pleasure to post-op TS. It's a big, varied, interesting family and we try to be inclusive of everyone.

As to why most of us have adapted female names and refer to each other as girls, (or boys in the FTM section) it's because many of us have the opportunity to do so here in a supportive, like-minded environment. Some people adapt a female personality and others ARE the female personality. Because you don't often know who is who in the zoo it's best to assume that people take their female selves seriously. The ones that don't take it as seriously themselves won't be offended by being called girl (or boy) and being treated as one...the ones that do (TG/TS) WILL be offended if they aren't taken seriously. Hope that makes sense.

You'll find that there are people who share your world view here. Take time to learn more about us and by all means share yourself. Please try not to be judgemental about others though. :hugs:

As for long hair...I wore my hair long all my life, but I've lost it on top quite a bit so it doesn't work like it used to. Many people here have jobs and careers that preclude wearing long hair. There is nothing like having your own long hair, but not all of us can. You young 'uns...:rolleyes: ...I hope you learn lots from being here. :happy: :hugs:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that?

I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig.

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I never considered havin a femme name before, just needed a handle when I joined and so: New(never really CD'd before 2 mos. ago) Betty (slang for cute hot girl). Kinda gettin into thinking about myself as Betty since I chose it.

I don't go out dressed, and don't do hair/makeup (Yet, anyway) but I'm wearing more undergarments out lately, more tight femme t-shirts,too.

I used to have long hair, and I've just started a new job w/ a pretty cool office environment so I might grow it again. Another thing I've been remembering is years ago when I was in a band I used to dress more androgynous (low cut jeans, baby doll tees, flowing shirts, an electric blue shiny top, scarves, lil' purple velvet jacket) and I'd kinda forgotten about that...at the time I just thought it was, ya know, rock n roll. Always did have a somewhat unconventional attitude about sexual stereotypes, just didnt expect this recent obsessive explosion of dressing.

I had to laugh at your comment about hair. Oh how I wish I could grow out my hair. There's not much on top any more. Like you said, I'm a regular guy most of the time, and regular guys lose their hair as time goes by.
As regards names, well, there's no point in forcing it. If you feel you need a femme name to express that side, you'll take one.
The thing is to do this just the way you like it. It's supposed to be enjoyable.
Do have fun with it.
Best wishes,
Ruth

I think its all about the mindset that you get into when your dressed. At least that's how it is for me. Since I'm wearing girls clothes i wanna feel more like a girl ya know?

I agree with what Emma Jane said about it being easier to access my feminine side through a female persona.

Also i think girls names are more pretty sounding =)

I would love to have long hair, but I'm quite bald and have no way to change that. As for my femme name, I really enjoy it. My female persona is fun and by associating it with a name, I can really enjoy thinking about "her" when I'm unable to present Linnea.

There's probably more people like you on the forum than this 'image' you are thinking of, of lots of semi fem guys all flouncing about 24/7 calling each other Julie and Karon.

I haven't dressed up for months and can't be bothered but I enjoy the forum from a social aspect.

But as all this dressing up business is a bit confusing anyway, there is a general politeness (I can't spell etiquet ettiquette) about keeping the pretence and adopting a name and personal pronouns to match.

It's not so much that people really do believe they are this person or that personality. It's just a convention; a short hand; a way of all speaking the same confused language without offending anyone.

Think of it like going to a Klingon convention and calling someone Kevin when they clearly state on their name badge that they are WarkVaard. It's just being polite and joining in the pretense.

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Originally Posted by Julie York

It's not so much that people really do believe they are this person or that personality. Think of it like going to a Klingon convention and calling someone Kevin when they clearly state on their name badge that they are WarkVaard. It's just being polite and joining in the pretense.

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With 5000 posts I'm sure you'd know better than I. My first impression was that relating to each other by femme name helps some of us to maintain a sort of fantasy life as girls, staying in character sorta.

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Originally Posted by NewBetty

With 5000 posts I'm sure you'd know better than I. My first impression was that relating to each other by femme name helps some of us to maintain a sort of fantasy life as girls, staying in character sorta.

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Exactly kevin.

:thumbsup:

Young person going to a RAVE. When I was your age I took LSD and went anywhere to have fun. I still wear my hair long but I stick out like a sore thumb because it just goes down the back. I'm contemplating getting it cut so a wig will fit better. I guess we do what we have to.
Mary

Sorry to break it to you,but you ARE the only one of us not like that!!!!!:devil: :devil: :devil: Just kidding,hey,we`re all different,it`s all good.-Angela.:hugs: :bunny: :GE: :bunny:

Hey I really enjoyed reading all of your responses and getting insight into people's mindsets.

I am young, 21. I don't have a job that I need to cut my hair for, but if/when I do, I'm going to cry, and donate it to locks of love or whatever they're doing so at least someone can enjoy it.

Also, I really got a kick out of NewBetty's response about being in a band. I am in a band too right now, a death metal band, go figure, hahaha. I can only imagine how my bandmates would react if they knew. As for the androgyny bit, I am a fan of the gothic style of dressing, which can be very androgynous as it is for the guys. I have seen CDs in a club I went to before anyway, even though I don't go clubbing often, so there ya go! I am lucky that it's very acceptable in the kinds of places I hang around and people I end up meeting. :o

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Originally Posted by EmmaJane

"Well for me it is just "easier" to access my feminine side through a female personna . . . I'd love to have my own hair (I use to have long hair many years ago), unfortunately nature has left me with a choice of two hair styles neither of which is very feminine, so me for one I'm stuck with a wig . . . I do admire your approach to CD'ing and maybe it could be argued that yours in the more honest approach. I just love all aspects of the female gender (from clothes, mannerisims, mindset the whole works) and just love to try and emulate (and hopefully one day perfect) what it means to be a women!

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Well said, EmmaJane! I agrre with what you said and the way you explained it!

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

"Hey I really enjoyed reading all of your responses and getting insight into people's mindsets."

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Mental Mercury,

EmmaJane was on target about everything she talked about!!!

One thing I'd like to add, though: you've got the looks, girl!!! I don't think I have ever commented about another CD's looks, but if the picture that you have with your posts is real and accurate, then gf, wear what you have on to the RAVE. Or, go Goth if that's your style. Whatever you wear, it seems to me that you have a good sense of style and, from what you say, are level-headed. You don't have to have a femme name -- you'll notice some do and some don't -- and some have given you reasons for why they think some have femme names and some don't. The bottom line is to be yourself! (BTW, some of us would grow our hair longer but "time, age, and nature" has made such not an option - LOL!)

As you will see by surfing around this forum, there are so many levels/facets of crossdressing. Some of us, including myself have a very promonent feminine side that goes beyond just dressing in the clothes. It just seemed natural to take on a fem name for me. You are still young, so take it slow and explore where this all takes you. I wish you the best! :hugs:

I believe a concept exists of a third gender; neither fully male nor female, but somewhere in the spectrum between. Those of us raised in an 'either/or, black/white' environment probably tend to be all-male when presenting as male, and prefer to be regarded as all-female when en femme. Hence the necessity of a feminine name in that mode. You may be benefiting from a relaxation of the strictures we faced, and feel comfortable within the spectrum without the enforced dichotomy. If so, the distinctions some cross-dressers make between modes would seem to you unneccesary and artificial. You would appear to be on a voyage of self-discovery most of us can only envy. From your photo, you would appear to be a delightful, young tart. I think many of us would like the opportunity to be a delightful, young tart.

Love

Minerva

My wife started calling me Dixie when she first started dressing me up, it kinda fits me. I couldn't imagine being called David in the clothes I'm wearing right now :heehee:

For someone who just likes to the wear the clothes now and again then I suppose a name and persona are unnecessary. However many of us, myself included, feel at least partially like women on the inside (or I suppose don't feel like men since we don't actually know what it feels like to be women!). Anyway to express that feminine part of ourselves I think requires a name and a different outlook. Besides it is such a great feeling when someone treats you like a girl and refers to you as she, ma'am, dear etc. To me it feels "right". I am though like you still happy enough to be a guy sometimes but the escapism of becoming a woman for at least a few hours cannot be beaten.

Hmm let me try and respond to all I can here. I do agree with EmmaJane, I absolutely love women as well. When I see a beautiful girl I think to myself, "I want her" and "I want to be her". Maybe some people got the wrong impression from my first post? I love crossdressing and escaping toward feminity for a while when I can, but 99% of the time I post here, I'm not dressed, and I would feel weird acting like a girl if I wasn't dressed, but I can see how some of you would like to. I'm not judging anyone by any means, we're all in the same boat here, and I'm growing rather fond of this community =) The picture really is me, cropped down and blacked around the edges because I'm paranoid!!! I have a few pics I'm really proud of, and that one is my best so far. I would love to share them all but I just can't risk having them show up where friends could find them. I truely am flattered by the remarks though =D.

Minerva, I found that idea very interesting, I think for me that sort of uncovers some of how I feel about CDing. I do feel like I'm mostly a guy, but there is definately a female side to me, it's quiet and in the background in guy mode, and comes out much more strongly when I'm dressed. I do pride myself in getting away with small girly things as a guy too. As for the rave.. I do not have nearly enough courage to go dressed to that, or anywhere in public, I just don't. If I get the courage, I'll go with my original idea.. long black skirt, my big boots, some kind of guy shirt, eyeliner.

Whew that is quite a heafty post. Hope I don't seem to be beating certain topics to death, but this is helping me understand everyone else's views so much more. And it's worth saying again, I am flattered, thanks so much!

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Originally Posted by Gina_darling

For someone who just likes to the wear the clothes now and again then I suppose a name and persona are unnecessary. However many of us, myself included, feel at least partially like women on the inside (or I suppose don't feel like men since we don't actually know what it feels like to be women!). Anyway to express that feminine part of ourselves I think requires a name and a different outlook. Besides it is such a great feeling when someone treats you like a girl and refers to you as she, ma'am, dear etc. To me it feels "right". I am though like you still happy enough to be a guy sometimes but the escapism of becoming a woman for at least a few hours cannot be beaten.

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My chances to go en-femme are few, I didn't really have a name until I joined this forum.

I was in a cadet group when I was younger, so growing my hair now is really making up for lost opportunities.

BTW Gina, is that your own hair in your avatar?

:happy: Best wishes to all,
Sandra.

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha. I guess I tend to act more like a female when I do get a chance to dress up (but if I did dress up and was referred to as a girl, I would like that). I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

Having a Fem name depends on your degree of crossdressing. The more you go out into the public you won't want to be addressed as Jack, or Bob for instance so you will make a "Fem" name for yourself. And the name will be a matter of Personal choice.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

I would have long if my job would permit it, but it doesn't so I can't. I used to have long hair when I was in a Rock n' Roll band (I know what using a can of SPRITZ is on hair to get that Motley Crue look). But then having a wig is easy care, "NO DYING THE GREY HAIRS EVERY 3 MONTHS FOR INSTANCE:sad:" or other things such as cutting, curling, perms, etc.

I am a low maintanance kinda girl....
LOL
Tamera

Well, as the other girls have said, there are all types and variations here on this forum. I took a female name early on because my wife and I needed to be able to talk around others that didn't know about the CDing. When she spots a cute top she can say "Do you think Sally would like this?" and it sounds perfectly innocent. And without a female name, if you go out at all, her using my male name accidently would not be comfortable. But, most of all, I just think a female name feels better when I'm dressed and helps complete the mindset. I'm one of those that enjoys my male self well enough, but I'm probably like 60% female on the scale.

On the hair thing, I too don't quite have enough natural hair at this stage to make it work well. Then there is the fact that long hair kind of annoys me. I enjoy it all the time I'm dressing, but full time long hair would be too much for me. Also, alot of care versus 2 minutes of toweling and combing.

Enjoy yourself here and ask all kinds of questions. You'll get some grumpy responses but most people are pretty forthcoming here!

Oh to be young again, I'd do things so very much different. Your clothe in your picture should be totally acceptable at a rave, the people there should get a big kick out of it. Don't kids want to be different at these things? I could grow my hair long very easily but then I would need to start coloring it since I'm 50 and would not like to show too much grey hair, not that I have much now but I'm sure as I grow it longer it would show up more. Plus my kids, all of whom are older than you are would think I lost my mind or something. I once joked that I was getting my ears pierced and they thought I was nuts. I used to have long hair in high school but that was the style in the early 70,s, not many professional business men in there 50's have long hair, maybe I'll give it a try and let you all know how it worked out!

I love this thread. Just want to get that out. Now we're up to 3 CDs who are or were in a band, including myself. And reading your responses has really shed some light on an important idea- I need to take advantage of my youth! You're making me want to go out and get my ears pierced. As for the rave, I'll stick with the original plan- long skirt, fishnet top or something, just eyeliner, since I'm going with a group of my guy friends that I don't want to weird out. Not that I wouldn't leave the miniskirt and tank top open for some other party. Sorry, I feel like I'm hogging this thread, I spend way too much time online :p

(edit: errr, where's a cheap place to get your ears pierced? I usually go to a tattoo parlor for piercings but wouldn't there be somewhere cheaper for just ears?)

I love having a fem name.... It's the name that was always in the back of my head....

And my hair sucks.... and I love wigs because I can change my look in a minute... Same clothes, different look!!!

Karren

i guess im lucky i was given name that could go ether way ( thanks dad). but had that not been the case i would have just picked one to be my allter ego...charlie...:heehee:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

(1)I absolutely love women as well. When I see a beautiful girl I think to myself, "I want her" and "I want to be her".

(2)I do feel like I'm mostly a guy, but there is definitely a female side to me, it's quiet and in the background in guy mode, and comes out much more strongly when I'm dressed. I do pride myself in getting away with small girly things as a guy too.

(3)long black skirt, my big boots

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(1) I never quite got it before recently, but, yeah. I've always enjoyed women's feminine energy, admiring their bodies, and checking out their clothes(LOL)

(2)I'm still a guy, but I'm wearing boyshorts/panties, v-neck med sleeve tees that barely cover my navel, and sometimes a bra and cami under my sweats when I go walk around the block.

(3) cracks me up u said that go see my profile pic.

Whenever I click on anyone's name, including my own.. I get an error message saying I don't have the priviledges to do so, maybe I'm still to new to access people's profiles? I want to see your pic newbetty! I also like your quote alot.

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

Whenever I click on anyone's name, including my own.. I get an error message saying I don't have the priviledges to do so, maybe I'm still to new to access people's profiles? I want to see your pic newbetty! I also like your quote alot.

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I think you're like one post away from getting profile privledges, am I right girls?

I won't bother to wait to post something meaningfull, I'm just doing this so I can see your pic! haha

(edit: grr, can't still, but i'm getting a new kind of popup thing when I click on people's names, do you mind posting the pic you were referring to?)

Hi MM
There are no rules here and you don't have to be anyone you don,t want to be. We are all boys with one tiny little secret.
For me, when I refer to myself as Beth, I am acknowldging that part of me that likes feminine things
As time has passed, I find that I think of all of you as women even though........

MICHELLE
Member




Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Chicago land
Posts: 248 female persona

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Oh to be young again, I'd do things so very much different. Your clothe in your picture should be totally acceptable at a rave, the people there should get a big kick out of it. Don't kids want to be different at these things? I could grow my hair long very easily but then I would need to start coloring it since I'm 50 and would not like to show too much grey hair, not that I have much now but I'm sure as I grow it longer it would show up more. Plus my kids, all of whom are older than you are would think I lost my mind or something. I once joked that I was getting my ears pierced and they thought I was nuts. I used to have long hair in high school but that was the style in the early 70,s, not many professional business men in there 50's have long hair, maybe I'll give it a try and let you all know how it worked out!

I hope if I was young again, I wouldn,t be the same homophobic young man that was afraid his feelings meant he was gay. I still have the feelings and I am not gay. As they say, If I knew then what I know now.

One thing I have found in my short time exploring my feminine side is that I don't like to be "in between". I like male mode, or I like being Tina. The supreme adventure to me is to leave the old gender behind and operate in a new one. That takes a lot of energy and after a long duration as Tina it can be relaxing to move back to the male side to assess the last Tina visit, though it's easier and easier to spend longer times as Tina :).

tina

My real name starts with an "R" but even as a young boy I just always imagined myself as a girl named Rachel. I don't know where it came from, but I've just always felt like a "Rachel." So basically I didn't choose the name, it chose me. :happy:

MentalMercury-

I totally understand what you are talking about. I picked a female persona mainly out of practical considerations when posting pictures on Flickr. Obviously, I had no intention of doing so under my real name. It seemed fun to bring "Andrea" alive virtually after that.

I don't grow my hair long because I would look ridiculous. I also like very short hair, and it frankly works better in professional environments.

If i had to start over i probaly would use a femme name on here but i don't think of myself as him and her. Not yet anyway.I have thick curly hair which i passed on to my daughter's but i keep it short just because it would be a lot of work if i let it grow and who need's that.If i start going out later on i will let it grow into a uni-cut Justabit

I used to be in a Band, we were world famous, touring all the time, money, cars, girls, girls clothes. BIG SIGH, then I woke up hehehehe

Oh I hate to ruin the fantasy but you can forget money if you're in a band, unless you're signed AND selling alot of records. But the girls do come easy when you are in one :p and if you think about it, music is where alot of crossdressing is being 'gotten away with' for the sake of artistic expression. It might not be the best way, but it's a good step in the right direction in being accepted.

I seem to remember somebody else who didn't like the female names/pronouns thingy...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=44593

(an oldie but goodie!)

[SIZE="3"]Hey Mercury,

Welcome to the club!! I've dressed for 40yrs and didn't have a fem name until a year ago. It just feels right now. When presenting as a female I like to be refered to as one. nothing irks me more than being all dressed and cutied up and have someone address me as sir:eek: Hair well as a young lad I had hair nearly to my waist but that now is a memory. Thinning and gray - I nearly shave my head these days. So if I call you sister or miss or girl It's because I am addressing your female persona:happy:

Hugs Jennifer[/SIZE]

well hon what you choose to call yourself is up to you----as for Me, if I'm going out en femme then I'm going all the way including a female name---as for the wigs, the bad or outrageously styled ones are easy to spot---the good ones not so easy---and yes I think you should go out and in addition to the eyeliner, should go all the way with the makeup---foundation, eyeshadow, blush, lipstick and lip liner, mascara and false eyelashes---if you are inexperienced you should find someone knowedgeable to help you Have fun:dom:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

Hi all, I pretty much just joined on here. Here's some things on my mind.

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha. I guess I tend to act more like a female when I do get a chance to dress up (but if I did dress up and was referred to as a girl, I would like that). I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

I'm going to a wild rave soon and depending if I can get my best GG friend to go as support, I might wear a long skirt and something like a fishnet top, some eyeliner, no other makeup, no bra or anything like that, I think I'd be pushing it enough.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

Thoughts, feelings, advice, etc, go for it. Hope I didn't piss anybody off :straightface:

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I don't grow my hair coz I don't have much left and even when I did always found it annoying long.
As for a female name it just seemed appropriate to give myself one.
I have been told I have a female persona dressed I honestly don't see it its just the clothes etc make you move and react in a different way to guy stuff

I have a female name because I am in my head a F2M crossdresser (chew on that one a little while girls). Em is who I am.

As far as hair goes I keep it short for job related reasons, but I have tried styling it so I could be a short-haired woman....looked too old though, so back to wigs.


Emily Ann

For me having a girls name is part of the crossdressing thing and I love it
if it's not for you thats OK :hugs:
Angie

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Originally Posted by oohTammi

I seem to remember somebody else who didn't like the female names/pronouns thingy...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=44593

(an oldie but goodie!)

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haha well, he's obviously coming at it from a different perspective as the rest of us.

Hey, Mental! To me, that's part of the fun, take on a feminine image, name, behavior for a little while. No real harm in that. I like my guy side, too.
As far as letting my own hair grow out, I would look very much like Larry of the 3 Stooges.

Vikki