POLL: How Accepting is Your Wife/SO ?

We hear anecdotal evidence of many accepting wives/SO's, many who are not accepting, and many CD's who haven't come out to their partners (I've been in all 3 categories in the last year, in reverse order :)). It's been a while since we've had a poll on this topic (I think), so here goes...

For those CD's who are, or have been, in a committed relationship, how would you categorize your wife/SO's posture towards your CDing?

* Never disclosed, don't intend to

* Haven't come out, but hope to

* Unaccepting wife/SO

* Tolerates it... mostly don't ask, don't tell

* Generally accepting, some days better than others, or

* Accepting and supportive, God Bless her (him)



Now, we'll get better results if every member reading this answers the poll (even if you don't feel like posting a response otherwise). Sorry if there's a common/obvious poll option which I missed. :o

Thanx y'all for your participation!!

xoxo

Tammi

Gave up trying to explain to my wife why i like crossdressing she just knows its something i have to do and has given me free reign to do whatever i want as long as i am a bit more discreet around the children, says that if i was to die before her she would look for another tv she is a diamond.

Yeah.. Great Poll!
It is kinda interesting to me.. I am accepted, but She does not seem to accept me... = Sheknows, But has yet to actually accept me. And Yet She Will.. I Know..

going with Unaccepting wife/SO.... and we have made some small steps .... but dose not look good for her coming around on this .... who knows ????.....

I wish I'd never been found out, so one down for unaccepting even though she'd say otherwise..."well I haven't divorced you YET"

Tolerance goes as far as still living with me, she says she loves me but she won't make love to me anymore so it's hardly acceptance

That's whats annoying about women, they fall in love with you because you don't act like a man and you're 'different'. Then they can't cope when they find out you don't just want to get in there knickers you want to wear them too

And they always want to know why, like there really is answer. I don't know why it just feels good, but why I wouldn't have a clue

As I have said before, Jean has known since the day I proposed. She has supported me since. We both are members of Tri-Ess.

wife no 1 : no way jose! blew a fuse every time i did it!
wife no 2 : very accepting doesn't begin to describe it. she lets me dress whenever i want, and we shop together all the time!:love::hugs:

I am lucky to have a gal who has always supported me since we started dating in the 70's. Married almost 30 years now and it is generally getting better every year. She has only actively participated the last 3 years but I didn't dress much before then. Now we go on shopping trips and vacations as two girlfriends and she has helped my color coordination and fashion sense immersurably. We do have some small boundary issues and priorities, as with any other part of our lives together, but I couldn't have asked for a better life partner. I always contended that we were fated to be together as we had several close calls at meeting in our younger lives. Now with all that has happened the last few years I know that she was meant for me!

(Blessed and I know it!)

I hope never come out to her - too many probable issues :eek:

My Honey-pie found out about Beth 1 month afetr we married (30 yrs. ago). She was tolerant back then and I learned my boundaries the hard way, but never any major problems. Now she helps with my wig if I need help and I dress at will as long as I remain indoors.
I am very lucky to be with her! :D

Beth

As I have posted many times before, GlitterGG has known about Kandis since essentially the day we met 12 years ago. She has always been supportive, and helpful, as well as understanding of me. I know I am truly a lucky gurl to have so wonderful a wife. She sees Kandis as just another facet of K*** and that it is just one more part of the whole person she loves.

Kandis:love:

I checked the generally accepting choice even tho my wife can be very supportive, that sort of comes and goes. Either way I know Im really lucky to be in the group of us thats not hiding this secret from their SO

Cindy

She knows and she ordered a full purge and wants me to get counciling for my illness this week.:(

My wife has always been supportive and after all the years we've been together it's just a normal part of life. Just yesterday we were passing a shop that was having a summer clearance sale and she asked if I neded any more tops, how can anyone turn down an offer like that....:D

She found out over a year ago but has not said a word since and neither have I.

More than supportive... a fan. That's not to say we don't have boundaries... but they are mutually agreeable. HT is the best!

Generally Accepting.

Prior to finding this forum I guess I was also Generally Accepting of my wife's acceptance!

I am now very grateful for it, realising, at least in some respects, what GGs concerns and fears are.

We now talk about it, before it was just something I did. We even joke about it!

unaccepting wife\so I told her 5 years ago. she could never get used to the idea[i stopped dressing but got stressed very easily] we split up last year!

Mrs. Missy is unbelievably accepting. And I am unbelievably lucky to have her as a life mate.

We had the expected bumpy start for a few months but now she has a lot of fun with it and as you all may have read in our posts last winter, took me out several times. What a major rush that was!!!

She is already talking about going out again this winter and how to make it happen. Most plans center around what to wear and how not to get read.

She knows it makes me more relaxed and for that reason frequently suggests that I change into Missy Anne for a while.

I love her very much!

And I sincerely wish (as does she) that all of us had a wife or SO who was even half that accepting.

Missy Anne

my so loves my dressing and wishes I could be more free to go out as her girlfriend. once she became comfortable with her own feelings of being attracted to me while dressed, she really enjoys, the sexier the better. She's in the process of getting feminine apparil that allows for us to enjoy a girls day out.

Wow, hurray for the nearly 70% in the top two categories!

As for me, I'm extremely lucky to have a very understanding, accepting, supportive wife. In fact, I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am.

Christine

my Girlfriend has known since we met and gets really turned on when i dress. She is so surportive and understands why i have to do it. She is the one who go me out in public but i must admit it was at night, but what a rush that was.....


I love her to bits:love:

I checked the Doesn't know but would like to tell her someday option.

I am not 100% sure that it will ever happen. While I can definitely see a ton of benefits IF she accepts it, I can also see it ruining our marriage and deeply hurting her if she doesn't. I am not sure it is worth the risk for the benefits I would receive. Some will say she deserves to know, but I am not sure I want to hurt her like that...she doesn't deserve THAT.

Time will tell...for now, I am just happy to be Morgan where possible, and suffer in my scratchy itchy man clothes the rest of the time :(

Morgan

.... I think she'd be OK with the dressing, but not how I feel about it...:2c:

Have not told her and will never,She is the love of my life very afraid that it would hurt her,so will stay hidding forever:sad::sad:

I checked "Tolerates..."

But that is not the whole story. Sometimes she is very supportive, for example shopping with me for femme items. Other times she gets upset when I even mention the subject. Her reaction is highly unpredictable to the extent that I normally get too stressed out to dress when she is around...which means that I hardly dress at all these days...which gets me stressed out...and so it goes on...

Wow what a bunch of lucky girls are you who have a supporting S.O...

I am not that lucky. I was busted years ago once when she came home early and I had nowhere to hide. Since then she knew, but didn't say a word about it. From there on I did my very best to avoid discovery, which lasted until recently. Lately I changed my attitude and told her about my increased urge for Cross Dressing because, among other things, I was not ashamed of it anymore.

She answered that she could not prevent me from doing it as I had the right to express myself the way I want to... But she would appreciate if I could keep it out of her sight. She said that it was a problem that she was having with it, and she didn't really blame me for doing it.

So there is where it sits and where it probably stays. She's very sensitive and smells a rat from a mile distance and since I am not ashamed anymore, I have become a little more sloppy, so afterwards she picks up on little clues and acts as she knows, but says barely anything. She will tell me to take the polish off my fingernails for instance without further comments. (I use transparent uncolored polish as basis for my glue-on nails). But she did tell me after finding my avatar picture, that I look a lot better with dark hair as with blond.

But there is no hope in sight as yet that she will ever become supportive in the sense that she will help me with cross dressing, let alone go on a shopping trip together.

But... I have learned to never say never...

:love:Dita.

I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by the results so far. I wouldn't have guessed the accepting/supporting #'s would be so high. While this is by no means scientific, the results really are encouraging.

As for those who answered unaccepting or even tolerates only, my heart really does go out to you.:hugs: I suffered through the anguish of that stage, and our marriage tetered on the edge not to long ago. Fortunately, my wife, like Dita's, came to the realization that the problem was her reaction/lack of acceptance more than my actual dressing. It took alot of work on her part, for which I'm most grateful, but she's really come around. So please don't lose hope, as love can lead to understanding and in turn to acceptance.

Thank you all for your responses. :hugs:

xoxo

Tammi

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Danni Barron

.... I think she'd be OK with the dressing, but not how I feel about it...:2c:

---

I definitely hadn't thought of that one. I'd be curious to see if there are others in that same boat.

boy my wife was kind of not excepting for a while we went to conseling but that didnt happen either i told her i didnt want to be a women but dress like one and have funwith it and have her with me to we are not diviorce and not planning to get one she knows just what i want and is letting me have my clothes and boobs to i think she really likes it to because we have bought colthes together and she let me have them we dont have sex but we can be two friends (girl) and go out together she even bought me a purse so i do believe she like me that way

My Wife totally accepts and understands Victoria and her needs. Has helped out very much in her coming out, have gone out shopping together for everything for her... dresses, make-up, heels, pantys and bras, nylons....very LUCKY to have married MY BEST FRIEND...:happy:

Basically it says that you have an over 85% chance of being able to stay married and express yourself through dressing with some degree of tolerance. As CD'ers I think we often long for the ideal, but the reality doesn't see so horrific.

My wife is just begining to accept this need in me. She now suggests that I get changed and buys me little presents. I am so glad I told her.

Right now I would have to say that the love of my life is unaccepting. We have a number of other issues going on right now that we are working through, and what she needs of me is to be the man she married. We have agreed to discuss it more once our major financial stresses are dealt with. I think that she will have a lot of fun with the whole thing, once we have a bit more breathing space.

I have a new partner who I told about my other self soon after we started seing each other. The reason is that both of us have a troubled past and have suffered badley in our previous relationships and I wanted this one to be built on TRUST It turned out that Sarah had allso had a few things that she wanted to tell me.
We started out knowing more about each other than most couples find out in there life time together
She likes me to dress for games with her and knowes that I dress at other times, how ever we keep it hidden from our 2 1/2 year old son
One thing I have noticed is that Sarah has changed the way she dresses, She now wears clothes very simular to the style that I do whene dressed

I checked the nonaccepting s/o. My wife found out about Jennifer a year ago, and after some talks and discussions for a couple of weeks nothing has been said about it since March.

My wife is accepting more every day. She knows all, would rather not see me dressed, But accepts the fact that this is what I like. She will go shopping with me at times. So overall she is pretty cool with it. :thumbsup:

I voted accepting, God bless her! :happy: I know just how lucky I am, I count my blessings every day. She will help me buy things, and I can usually dress at home any time I like (which lately isn't that much, LOL).

Not only is my wife accepting, and supportive, she does not care if I go out as Carroll....It more me that avoids going out

My SO, Jamie, is so supportive. The best thing is, I have gained a girlfriend who can teach me all the parts of being a woman I could never learn from TV or a book. I want to give a HUGE thanks to all the supportive SOs out there who help us sexy girls out... we really do appreciate it! Jamie of course gets the :thumbsup:

:love:
Kaylee

My wife accepts Michelle , thank god ! Helps me with my dress sense , make up tips the lot .
:love:

My wife is my life saver. She is more OK with my dressing than I am. She loves it had has helped me greatly.

Tiffany

First Wife, I told her before we got married and she said that was fine and never said anything when iwas wearing stufff around the house. After we got married it was a HUGE problem.

Girlfriend of now 4 years and we live together. She has know from the start and she loves it, we shop together, have girl nights etc. She is the best thing in the world.

My SO insists that i dress when she is around me. There is the rare occasion when she wants D***** around but she prefers Patricia.

so is not accepting at all been married 16years. Every once in awhile she finds my colths and cuts them up in little pieces and leaves them on the bed.

Yes, I'm fortunate that my wife is "accepting and supportive." However, this doesn't tell the whole story (what poll could?). Clearly, it isn't always easy for her and, consequently, us. For example: when I do dress it is rarely at home which, of course, means that Mrs Sheena is home alone - I have to admit this is not the best thing for our marriage. I try hard to temper my need to dress with what's best for the both of us.

My wife is accepting most of my clothing however, when I put on a bra she gets uncomfy. It is not about the bra..It is the fact that my boobs are in shape and very well noticeable. She fears people laugh about me (..or us) when being out in public.

Good poll ... i'm glad that i told Alexis the day we met... I love her more and more each day.. she's a great girl..:love:

Hi Tammi

I picked the last one ... but I would won't I? People tell me all the time that I'm living the dream, and certainly from my perspective, they're absolutely correct .... and not just for crossdressing reasons either. I grant you, having a wife who describes herself as "trans- amorous" and looked to date a cder before she met me isn't exactly common place in the world.

Hugs
Rachel

We are married 35 yrs. I told her after 10 yrs. I get out about 1 or 2x a month. Some of my femme clothes are in our closet. Hardly ever talks about it. I go to the fantasia fair each year for the last 8 yrs. I guess Im luckier than most.

Terri

My wife didn't find out I was a lifelong CD until I admitted it to her 20 years into our marriage. She was far angrier about the deception of my secret life than she was about the actual crossdressing. Fortunately for us she has gone to great lengths not only to understand and accept it but also to accomadate the desires all of us CD's have. From being able to dress regularly to sharing closet space to shopping for clothing she has allowed my alter ego to become an intregal part of our marriage. With a lot of open and honest communication we have defined boundaries and established reasonable expectations. So far since the two years that have passed since the dreadful day I came out she has met the challenges that my crossdrssing has posed to our relationship with great empathy, compassion and good humor. It wasn't easy and it requires a lot of continuing hard work on both our parts but our marriage is in far better shape since I told her.
I feel for my fellow sisters that do not have the luxury of expressing their femininty in an open and trusting setting because of SO's that can't come to terms with their partners desires.
It's not for everyone but the one thing that she told me that has stayed with me is that at least she will never get bored wondering what I will look like every time I step out of the bedroom.

Jenny L.