One more step - 17 yo daughter

I just had 'the' conversation with my seventeen year old daughter.

Background - 7 kids ages 13-21, 21 yo and 16 yo daughters know about my crossdressing for 2 and 1 years respectively, , the others do not. We (Louise and I) have been talking about the information roll out process. The 17 yo was next on the list.

Synopsis: "You know I dress quirky sometimes - earrings, nail polish, purple t-shirt... it is time for you to know the whole story so you don't come to invalid conclusions ... Well you know there is Male and Female, but there is more in between. Between my ears I am in between .... I am transgendered, I crossdress .. I have no "Male label" clothes.... I've been this way all my life....."

She didn't flinch. Cool as a cucumber.
"Wow... It mush have been hard to live like that ... I like purple on guys ... I knew you dressed quirky but I figured it was just you (damn she figured out what I have spent years trying to figure out). ... I'm glad you told me ..."

The only eye-roll I got was her disdain for the narrow-mindedness of other people.

Yes, it went as I expected, I am happy to say. :thumbsup: One more milestone.

hip hip hurray...kudo's carin...sounds like you are very lucky and probably have another shopping buddy:D

Carin, was there ever any doubt? You and Louise have done a great job raising those kids. You should both be very proud. Congratulations.

I think kids these days are more tollerant :) My 13yr old saw Tam dressed.. she just went into a fit of giggles, but she wasn't bothered by it at all. She see's Tam in fluffy slippers, nail polish etc... sometimes mascara... she just says Tam is a bit weird lol!!!

I'm so happy for you Carin, that's sure one wonderful daughter you've got there!

Karen Starlene

Wow - what a huge step to take and she took it so well. Hugs to all of you!

Congrats, Carin. I'm not surprised that she took it so well.
As many of the others here have noted, you and Louise have done a terrific job in raising your kids. I wish you continued success and happiness on this front! :hugs:

Bobbie

Fantastic, that's great that she is cool about it. I'm happy for you....BJ

That is really super news Carin - I'm so happy for you and Louise! It sounds as though Louise and you have raised a very fine, loving, and intelligent family - Congratulations.


Jenna

Congrats..

I may just print this up and rehearse for when one of my frequent slips lately leads to questions.

Gald it went well. Just watch for clothes going missing now ;)

Congratulations! I know how nice it can be when all goes according to plan. She sounds like a lovely girl.

Congrats. sounds as though you have done a great job with the kids,why not sit them all down and explain it to the rest,3 down and 4 to go ,open the whole thing up for a family discussion. Just food for thought. by the way
kids talk amongst them selves they might already know.

As the others have said, I'm verrry happy for you, but not surprised at all. Continued best wishes to you and your family Carin. xoxo Tammi

This gives me hope...

Congrad's

Bet the other go as smooth :hugs:

Awesome news Carin! Do you mind if I do a little plagiarism? Marla has a 17 year old son and we have been thinking about telling him about me .... soon. We haven't done it yet but I love what you said to your daughter, and I think I'd like to steal it if you don't mind and say something similar to Marla's son. It worked out good for you, maybe it will be the same for me too :idontknow:

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Originally Posted by BarbaraTalbot

Congrats..

I may just print this up and rehearse for when one of my frequent slips lately leads to questions.

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Or be proactive. Tell them before their imagination misconstrues reality.

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Originally Posted by Sandra

Gald it went well. Just watch for clothes going missing now ;)

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That was one of the things that prompted telling the 16 YO last year.

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Originally Posted by Veronica E. Scott

Congrats. sounds as though you have done a great job with the kids,why not sit them all down and explain it to the rest,3 down and 4 to go ,open the whole thing up for a family discussion. Just food for thought. by the way kids talk amongst them selves they might already know.

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All in due course. Each one is different. They need to be ready to hear it, and hear it in their own space. The remaining 4 are boys, they have a different mindset.

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Originally Posted by Rachel Morley

Awesome news Carin! Do you mind if I do a little plagiarism? Marla has a 17 year old son and we have been thinking about telling him about me .... soon. We haven't done it yet but I love what you said to your daughter, and I think I'd like to steal it if you don't mind and say something similar to Marla's son. It worked out good for you, maybe it will be the same for me too :idontknow:

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Be my guest and good luck. Let us know how it goes.

It is your children, through your teaching, that will open up the world to greater tolerance, understanding, and compassion. Thank you. Thank all of you.

our DD is justone of them. The others will have the conversation with carin in the near future. I have no doubt they will be postive and their relationship with their father will become even more intimate and connected.


Louise.

Your daughter seems like she comes from remarkable stock! :)

Congratulations!

Morgan

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

Your daughter seems like she comes from remarkable stock! :)

Congratulations!

Morgan

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Actually we can't take credit for that. That particular daughter was adopted from the rough end of "The System" at the age of 10. We will take credit for the extensive work put in to get her where she is now though.

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Originally Posted by Carin

Actually we can't take credit for that. That particular daughter was adopted from the rough end of "The System" at the age of 10. We will take credit for the extensive work put in to get her where she is now though.

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Please then...allow me to amend my statement.

She seems like the product of a fantastic environment.

Morgan

I understand how you, feel. I haven't been doing it for as long as others. But i do agree with your daughter, where she says that she wishes it would be permitted more, by our society.
Then it currently is- I only dress at home, states need to be open to treating us with more respect then i have seen.

Be proud Carin you have some great girls there hun:hugs:
Angie

(we have very few family rules unlike most other familes. Respect, open communication, acceptance are the only few, no curfews, no questions about sexuality and what you do with it ect., no rules around eating or sleeping etc, etc)

acceptance in one of the *rules*. we have taught this and hope to have modelled it over the many years we have been parents. carin *coming out* to our children seemed the only way we could live within our own family's culture.

I often wonder about tolernace versus acceptance. I don't like *tolerance. It reminds me of *putting up* with someting, someting you don't really like but you have to go along and *put up with* it. I think in our family we strive toward *acceptance* of each of us and in the outside community and beyond. Both of us hope that every one of our kids will have seen this modeled over the years and have the tools to to this in their own adult lives. It is this I think that will eventually make a change in our world.


Louise.