Comments made while shopping

I was just wondering if other people ever get comments from cashiers or other shoppers while shopping. I keep telling myself I won't have problems buying stuff and that the cashier won't say anything, and I keep getting proven wrong.

I know a lot of you say that this never happens, so I must just be getting very unlucky.

A few months ago I went to value village, and bought a slip & some pyjamas, and the cashier asked me "Whats that for", and it took me off guard.

Then yesterday, I was at a drug store, and figured "I'm here anyway, and have been meaning to buy some make-up for a while." The store was pretty dead since it was new years and everything else was closed, so I figured "Why not?" and picked up some nail polish, lipstick, lip gloss and eye liner. I get to the cash, and the cashier looks at the stuff and says "Is this for you? I'm just kidding"

I'm not at the stage where I am comfortable telling total strangers face to face that I CD, so I just kinda laughed along, because I didn't know what else to do. I just keep telling myself this won't happen, and it does.

Every once and a while I will get a smart remark. Even though I usually shop with my wife, I know I am not fooling the cashier when we place a pair of size 12 high heels on the counter. I just usually ignore the remark and say nothing, letting my silence make the cashier feel like they just said a really unfunny and lame comment.

you get used to it after a few, happens to me all the time. last time i bought polish SA says(jokingly) thats not really your color hon, so i threw on my best pouty face and said well i like it anyway! should have seen the look on her face! :eek:

Boy, you have some rude cashiers up there. :rolleyes:

Truthfully, I'm one of those who never had a problem. Of course, being dressed as I am makes it readily apparent who I'm buying things for.:happy:

i have had times were the casher said things like that and told her their for me ....a few times the casher said your wife will love them..... i said then i better get some in her size too these are mine......at one time i might have died but now it's no big deal..........

I once had a female SA say to me "Those will look good on you" when I was buying several pairs of panties. Unfortunately embarrasment got the better of me and all I could reply was "Funny". These days I would love to say something like "I hope so!" or "Yes, I think they will too".

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Originally Posted by angelfire

I'm not at the stage where I am comfortable telling total strangers face to face that I CD, so I just kinda laughed along, because I didn't know what else to do. I just keep telling myself this won't happen, and it does.

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You don't EVER have to tell someone you're a CD if you don't want to; especially a cashier because it's none of their business. If you're able to make a witty comment and stick it to em' in a non-angry way that's good, if not you can always just ignore them and walk out.

I've only had a couple of experiences where a cashier said something to me that rubbed me the wrong way. Once when I was buying a leopard bra at Macy's the cashier frowned and said in a disapproving way, "Here's your bra." I just ignored her comment and walked out with my purchase. The other time was when I was buying some hoop earrings the cashier said with a scowl, "You know you can't return these?" I thought to myself why would I want to return these? I just ignored her too and walked out.

Buying stuff really is no big deal. Just ignore people who don't mind their own business and buy whatever you want. You don't have to answer to them.

I've had a few comments from cashiers when buying makeup but I've taken them in jest and get on with my business. Mostly it's become no big deal and I can purchase just about anything without so much as a second look. Guess it just depends on the person behind the register.

I know I've walked through places (in male mode) such as Kolhs (SP), J.C. Pennys, and even Wal-Mart and non-chalantly walked around the different isles looking at purses/handbags and heels and seen some that I've wanted to look at and possibly purchase but I'm too scared to for fear of what might be said.

I just bought my first set of heels on-line and will probably purchase more things from on-line, at least for awhile anways till I get more things to fill out my wardrobe.

I have had a few comments but most of the time they don't say anything or assume i am buying for my wife. Except of course when you are buying size 12 shoes or boots. I think the shoe people know the odds regarding how many people wear size 12 women's shoes. I usually shop with my wife. Once we bought matching panties. One in pink,blue, and a lavender for each of us. The SA asked if I knew these were in 2 different sizes. I just said yes I did and smiled. She must have just realized what she was asking about -- she said something like" oh, I understand now. These are very pretty." So after being surprised I think it was a good recovery on her part.

i never had that problem but have been asked if it was for me an i just put on a big smile and say yes :heehee: just relax you'll do fine

i have got myself drunk to the point of throwing up before having the guts to walk into a ggs shop and buy something - for the very reason of thinking people would be looking at me strange looks - going to the till ect - but whenever i have bought anything in a shop knowone has said anything or took any notice of me - the last time i bought from a shop (caus i buy mainly online now) i must be getti braver caus i told the women serving i was a cd - i was hoping theyd offer to let me try the clothes on but i think it was nearly closing time - one of them said oh your one one of them yeh we had one i here the other day - but the point is i guess they cant refuse to serve you and surely if they make rude comments they are breaking their code of conduct - i'm sure here in england most staff are instructed to be tv friendly at least thats what i've heard !

I have not had a problem so far-shop usually in male mode and will have totally fem products at times. Sometimes just looks but no words. :2c:

I've never had any comments at the check outs either enfemme or drab - but this is probably down to luck more than anything else.

But I also think that when we're buying female items, either in drab or enfemme, we may be super sensitive to comments or looks which wouldn't normally register as a problem.

I think if you go in with an attitude of "I don't care" then not only don't you look nervous, but no one is going to ruin your day with an off hand comment.

I bought a pair of red pumps from good will. The two cashiers giggle as the said wow these are big shoes in Spanish. I snapped and said yes I failed just enough HS Spanish to know you are talking about what I'm buying. You know what maybe we should bring your manger over and see if he thinks its funny.


Now I had one experience that took me be surprise. I was looking at a pencil eye liner. The lady came up to me and said are you finding every thing ok, do you have any question. I just shrug it off, and said no then she saw what I had in my hand asked if she could show me how to use it . She was dead serious, no joking no disrespect intended

Just let it go it's not a big deal hun :hugs:
Angie

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Originally Posted by niya blake

I bought a pair of red pumps from good will. The two cashiers giggle as the said wow these are big shoes in Spanish. I snapped and said yes I failed just enough HS Spanish to know you are talking about what I'm buying. You know what maybe we should bring your manger over and see if he thinks its funny.

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One time while riding the train, a bunch of spanish house maids were returning home from work. They were all chatting away about me and giggling. I had no clue - I failed HS German. Finally, as they were getting off, some guy standing near by yelled at them for being so inconsiderate. He obviously knew spanish. I thought that was really cool!

Gen

Recently, while at Longs Drugs I purchased 2 tubes of lipstick. The young female SA said these should look good on you. I said I hope so, they go with my eyes. She smiled a mile wide. Made my day.

smiles ... it can happen ... but remember .. an insult has to be accepted before its can be given .

and its rare any intend to give one in cases like this.

think of it as friendly out reach initially and just play along a bit and stay smileing..

the casher girls often notice my rings (engagement types) in eigther mode i tell them well i got these on 25th aniversary 8 yrs ago ( 9 now , married 34 yrs ) cuz it was my turn to have a pretty ring.. that usally makes them smile.. and say congradulations shes a lucky girl,, and i say 'yes me too'

its up to us how to handel things and leave a good inpression ..

I am bolder now. I used to be real nervous. Now if I buy something femmy and get no comment, I think it is dull and boring. So...I usually tell them I am a cd and hope for an approving comment or a little chit-chat. Maybe some girly advice on fashion or makeup.

i had bought a pair of size 11 boots at payless, i tryd them on and they wer a bit tight but i thought if i wore them they would loosen up a bit,, well they didnt so i took them back after one night of wearing and exchanged them for the size 12 that wer still there and took off my beat up sandles and put the boots on right in front of the cashier lady,, she said there u look better:D,,one of the sales guys who works at this payless is gay i can tell,, and they dont have a problem with cds comin in there,, nor does Heather who is the manager of the Famous footwear store near me,,i have been in there a few times dressed and her whole staff r cool ,, she used to have a cd who came in there a few yrs back but she hasnt seen him in a while

I didn't actually buy any specifically female products for myself until I was in college. At the time I was nervous and felt awkward but managed to make my purchases. Now I just go in and by what I need/want and never give it a second thought and don't care what anyone may think. I think rude comments may be provoked by nervousness.

if u get an off hand coment from a sa just ask to see their mangr,, it dont matter how ur dressed its not their job to pass their own views or judgement onto people who r in there to spend money so they have a job,, without the customer sales people have no reason to leave the house:2c:

I have bought several pairs of shoes from Payless Shoe Source and have tried them on in the store. I have never had an unpleasant experience with the sales persons.
I have also bought bras aand panties at Penney's and had the sales person comment on how nice were my choices.

OK, can I ask you all a question?

Scared? Afraid? Scared and afraid of WHAT?

For goodness sake! You are all adults. What is there that a cashier can say that actually FRIGHTENS you?

This is SHOPPING. Shopping. You go into the store, pick out what you want, and pay the cashier for it. The cashier asks you who the items are for. SO WHAT? For goodness sake, tell her or ignore her, but be afraid? Afraid of what?

SA and cashiers are people just like us. They can say stupid, impolite, and unfortunate things just like we can. But that's all they can do, and MOST of them don't say anything at all 'cause they are bored silly and can't wait for the day to be over so they can go home. When someone says a stupid or impolite thing to you, you ignore them or not, but PLEASE, PLEASE, don't be afraid of them.

Grow up, people.

Stephie

So, on re-reading all the above posts I guess MY comments are impolite. Most of you DO get it. It's really not that big a deal to go shopping. I apologize for my somewhat out of control post above.

Lovies,
Stephie

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Originally Posted by angelfire

A few months ago I went to value village, and bought a slip & some pyjamas, and the cashier asked me "Whats that for", and it took me off guard.

Then yesterday, I was at a drug store, and figured "I'm here anyway, and have been meaning to buy some make-up for a while." The store was pretty dead , so I picked up some nail polish, lipstick, lip gloss and eye liner. I get to the cash, and the cashier looks at the stuff and says "Is this for you? I'm just kidding"

...I just keep telling myself this won't happen, and it does.

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Well, it might be time to find stores with a little more class. "Value Village"? Are you kidding? A store with a name like that?
Some businesses are a joke. People often forget - when you pay more to some retailers, you are paying not only for a better product but for better service. That is why things are so cheap at WalMart. Same products but sorry stores.

My only 2 bad experiences - one was some snide "B" at WalMart and the other was at some excuse for a drug store called Osco.

Just pay the extra money and start shopping at a little nicer places if you want better service.

I once bought a pair of bras at a local Penney's store and had the sales person comment on how nice they would look on me. I thanked her for her comments and said I was delighted with my choices.

So far, I've haven't had a rude comment directed at me whatsoever.
I'm always friendly and courteous and I've always been treated with the same respect and courtesy no matter where I go.

Hugs!

Not long ago, I bought a lacy black bra, and matching scanty panties at Wal-Mart. They didn't have a self checkout, so I bit the bullet and went through a regular checkout lane. The lady rang up the stuff, and did a quick double take. She put the stuff in a bag, and handed it to me, and grabbed my hand, with both of her hands and said, "Have a nice evening". It was 11:00 am in the morning. :D

On a very few occasions I have received comments from sales associates. They have always been friendly kidding, not mean spirited and I returned with a quip myself. Shopping in person is so muh more fun than internet or mailorder.

I think the answer is that the sales assistants have a real boring time of it. Hour after hour, day after day, just ringing up the prices. When occasionally something unusual happens it probably just brightens up their day a bit - and they feel compelled to say something.

I doubt if they really intend to insult or make us feel uncomfortable

I have never had any really nasty comments beyond a couple snide "here you go SIR's".

I kind of like the thrill of it and will usually try to go to a checkout with a pretty young girl at the register. I have had a couple cashiers try to be smart with me, like once as she was handing me my bag said "Oh and mat I add, you are going to look cute in your new outfit", I just smile and say thanks.

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Originally Posted by SiobhanW

I once had a female SA say to me "Those will look good on you" when I was buying several pairs of panties. Unfortunately embarrasment got the better of me and all I could reply was "Funny". These days I would love to say something like "I hope so!" or "Yes, I think they will too".

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I had an SA say the same thing to me a few months ago. My immediate answer, "I certainly hope so, that is why I am getting them!":heehee: The SA. a nice lady, blushed and said, "really?" I just replied, "yes, panties are a lot more comfortable and prettier then jockey briefs." She just smiled and rang up the sale.:happy:

There are some sorry SA's out there, but I think the majority just want to make sales. Sometimes one just has to learn to ignore the bad ones.

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, mostly man underneath

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Originally Posted by MlleErin

Well, it might be time to find stores with a little more class. "Value Village"? Are you kidding? A store with a name like that?
Some businesses are a joke. People often forget - when you pay more to some retailers, you are paying not only for a better product but for better service.

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A lot of crossdressers shop at Value Village. The clothes are inexpensive and priced by category and you never know what you are going to find -- for example, I found a full-length brown leather skirt (not suede) in one for $7.

It is true that Value Village offers very little in the way of service: it is a place where you have to make your choices by yourself, line up to try them on, and eventually take them to the front cashes. No-one is going to help you look for anything and no-one is going to help you decide whether things fit properly or what colour to choose. Which also makes it safe for crossdressers to look to their hearts content without any clerk staring at them. And the few clerks that are there are usually thinking mostly of how long it is until their next break or how long until they can go home (I've overheard them talking.)

In the Value Village stores I have shopped in, none of the employees, male or female, has given a toot what I'm looking at or what I try on or what I buy. It's a clothes supermarket: ring in the clothes mechanically because there is a line behind this customer and they are getting impatient. Yup, the employees at the change room lineup have clearly seen me taking in a bundle of skirts and dresses, and the most expression I have ever had from them was a "game-face smile".

The only time anyone has said anything to me was when the lady in the fitting room said "You know these are womens clothes right?" I smiled and said "yup."

The different experiences here depend mostly on how you are dressed: In male mode you can even buy typically female products without comments except for shoes size 12 maybe. They would normally think it is for your wife or girlfriend. Buying such items in a not really passing female mode you might get some awkward comments.
I usually let the SA believe I am looking for something for my wife and as an experianced male I need some help.

i bought a garter belt and stockings at wal-mart recently. When i went to the counter my conversation with the cashier went something like this:

"Yeah, i thought i'd get a gift for my girlfriend, but really it's more like a gift for me."

Guess which part of that sentence was a lie.

of all the times I've been shopping, I have never had any comments on my items

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Originally Posted by MlleErin

Well, it might be time to find stores with a little more class. "Value Village"? Are you kidding? A store with a name like that?
Some businesses are a joke. People often forget - when you pay more to some retailers, you are paying not only for a better product but for better service. That is why things are so cheap at WalMart. Same products but sorry stores.

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I believe I deserve good service regardless of where I shop. The employees aren't being paid to question someone's purchases.

I have had good experiences at places with "less class". The Salvation Army I have never had a bad experience there ever, and it is even cheaper than Value Village. I don't fully dress, and I don't dress & go out. I don't even under dress usually, so I can't justify spending a lot of money on something that might get worn for a few hours a month. If I were going to wear it every day, or even every week, I might be willing to spend a bit more.

I carry my Avatar pictures in my wallet when shopping (guy mode) though my hair is long and blonde.
When a check out person says something I quickly show my pictures.
All I get is "Wow I would KILL for those legs"
One Wall Mart girl commented (when cold weather started) "I sure miss your Short's", I keep my legs smooth

Hmm. I get very few comments while shopping, and I've never a rude or unwarranted one. I remember one cashier saying something like "oh, these are nice," but that's about it. To be honest, I find myself wishing that they would say something. If nothing else, it would make the experience more interesting.

Crystal

Earlier in my "career" I went through the making up stories about why I was buying women's clothes but as I become more experienced I care less and less. Many times when I buy something I am disappointed when the SA does not make a comment especially a good one. Sometimes it is annoying how little attention clerks pay to what you are buying! After all it is a thrill to me to tell anyone that I am a crossdresser and who better to tell than someone who really doesn't know you and you are helping pay their salary by buying their merchandise. If they ask if it is for me I say sure it is!
Riki

3 months ago I was buying skirt at Ross. The cashier went on a rant how she cant believe that I would be buying some thing for my GF with out her there, because most guys dont know how to buy womens clothes.

Basically a male bashing rant. Which lead me to wounder why does she still have a job .


I look back and think, I should of said I think by now I know my own size.

I've never gotten any comments, in many years of shopping.

I was in four or five stores today buying some very feminine items and not one cashier batted an eye. One nice old lady asked if I'd forgotten to get the So a Christmas gift. I just said it was a birthday gift...:heehee:

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Originally Posted by obsessedwithpantyhose

one of the sales guys who works at this payless is gay i can tell,, and they dont have a problem with cds comin in there,, nor does Heather who is the manager of the Famous footwear store near me,,i have been in there a few times dressed and her whole staff r cool ,, she used to have a cd who came in there a few yrs back but she hasnt seen him in a while

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You know, it doesn't matter where you go, NO ONE should have a problem with how you are dressed. I can slip on men's jeans and a t-shirt and no one things I am "trying to be a guy" why can't society just lighten up and let you all be the way you want to be and accept the clothing you CHOOSE to wear in these free countries.

gg with no patients for those who are not accepting of all

I can really only remember two times when an SA said anything to me about my purchases. The first was in Wal-Mart, i was buying a sweet vassarette black lace bra. The register line i was in was a few people long so i had to wait with the bra in my handbasket. Just as it was my turn to check out, they switched cashiers, and the girl who stepped up turned out to be one of my customers from the store I was managing at the time. When she took the bra out of the basket, she looked at me kind of puzzled, and all i said was that I had ruined one of my wifes by tossing it in the dryer with my jeans and needed to replace it. She smiled, said thats sweet, and on I went. She never even mentioned it when she would come in my store and make her payments.
The other time was in Payless, I was looking at the size 11 heels and boots when one of the girls popped around the corner to ask if i needed any help. I told her I was just looking and thanked her. She told me if I needed help, just ask her, then floored me by handing one of the socklettes for trying on the ladies shoes, smiled and went away. I bought 1 pair of strappy heels and a pair of high calf, faux suede boots. At the register, she smiled and told me she hoped i enjoyed them, and to please come back soon. I ended up buying most of my shoes from this girl over the next cpl of years.

I have found a lot of these type comments are more because they are trying to elicit some response. Proper or not, most of the time these comments are innocent. You do not have to confess to your CDing but you should be able to understand it is human nature to be curious.

Some of the best shopping experiences have come from the least likely places and people and they all started with some kind of comment or question.

Once at a Cato store in the middle of the oilfield patch, I entered the store and the two SA's followed me in and observed me. They could not make up their mind on how to approach me. Then they did. They did not ask if they could be of help. They asked me who I was shopping for. I told them they were being nosy. Caught off guard by my reply, they then explained no guys ever walked in that store. By the time I left, we were the best of friends. Whenever I go back they treat me like a queen.

I know every manager at the local Dress Barns and Cato stores and most of the time I am greeted with a hug and a kiss. I never fooled any of them, because usually the relationship has started with a question or a prompt like "would you like any pantyhose today?" or "we have a special on our panties today".

This has happened many other times. I do not know what they go home and tell their husbands or boyfriends but they sure go out of their way for me. I am hopefully creating a good impression and making a statement about us CDers not being some whackos. There are the rare rude occasions, but I act like I never noticed. I have also had ladies at certain stores give me looks of disapproval who after a few more visits to their store have turned their attitude around.

Michelia

I agree totally .... Don't let them worry you and make a joke out of it if you can

If I'm dressed its not a problem ... they take me as I want to be on sight and don't argue.
I have a lady in Woolies who gives me advice on makeup, another who colours and cut my hair. I've turned up there dressed before a party, so she could give me advice.
When I buy clothes I do so at the Salvation Army Op Shop ... They are great there and the stuff is super cheap, and in great condition.
Some of them are interested, and they get more helpfull if I show them a picture or 2 in my phone!.
Generaly people want to help, so I let them,and we get on with it!

All you need is confidence and poise, and you become unasailale!
Regards

Long ago, I was buying a pair of nice heels at a 2nd hand store. The young man behind the cash register smiled knowingly and said "These will get ya up there".... I embarrass easily :o so I turned purple and mumbled something...
Then there's the time my sister -in-law caught me buying pantyhose and a bra at the Kmart standing right there at the end of the checkout! .... :eek: Gawd! (She never did mention it) I STILL wonder what she mighta said to my bro?
If we are that self conscious... The Self checkouts are great. Some stores like Meijer's stay open 24/7.. Go at 3am and have the place to yourself! (I'd probably run into my "ex sis-in-law" with my luck!):p

I really like threads like this because they help to alleviate fear.One should be able to purchase anything they want without question.I've bought a lot of things online, and would if I dressed or not.I do feel a need to challenge myself because I don't like the thought of denying who I am and don't want to be closeted forever. I'll never forget the first time buying make up and I was scarred to death. I got in line and 15 people backed up behind me,I felt flush and heart pounding hard,then finally to the register and a malfunction with the register.I think I realized then and there that I cannot react to what others do not condone or understand. I would always allow others perceptions of me rule and instill fear,so this realization helped with other personal battles as well.