First sexual meeting

I am fairly new to cross dressing but realised recently it all started when I was around 10yrs old and remember trying on a pair of my mums boots.Anyway thats a little about me. The reason for the post is because I have been speaking to a few girls since I have been dressing and very flattered that some of them wish to meetup.Some just want to meet and chat but some of them want something more from the meeting.This really excite`s me and I was told to take note of these feelings as they are likely to be my true thoughts.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.

I had the same fears and in all reality, I suppose I'm bisexual because of my desires for men while dressed. I feel into the arms of my first man, literally to my knees.

Good luck, just be honest with your feelings. Nothing wrong with liking both worlds.

Something may excite you in your head but not excite you in reality. If you're feeling adventurous, by all means test the waters, but be cautious because you might not like everything that you have good feelings about in your mind.

I share the same feeling as you.
Although I had not the experience of having to be with the same sex, but I often think about it and feel excited and scare at the same time.
It's good to know that others share the same feelings.:hugs:

Do yourself a favour and take the sexual orientation test in this forum. It will probably help you decide on the sexual confusion you are now going through. All the luck to you. Hugs, Amber

.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.[/QUOTE]

It might. I'm bisexual and it took me a LONG time to admit that, mostly because I had a long term partner who ridiculed such things. In fact in my first sexual experience with a genetic male I STILL wasnt sure, I just knew that I enjoyed what I had done.
And THAT really is the crux of it. You're taught from birth that homosexuality is bad very similarly to crossdressing. In the end though, it's your decision wheather it is or not. You live by your rules not societies. If it feels good, and is something you want to do, why the heck not? Mind it helped incredibly that I had a supportive female partner who I would not be as comfortable as I am without. She encouraged me in more ways than I can count.

Amanda
The happy ****!

I second Lisa-e-love's thought on this one.

C.

I'm bisexual but it's been years since I've been with another man. The time in my life when I was having sex with men I was single and it was always only with other cds I met in clubs or bars. Since my wife entered my life I've been faithful to her but the memory of those homosexual encounters never really go away. She knows about my past and accepts my sexuality but I've never strayed from her because of all the love and support she offers me in my struggle to come to terms with my feelings and desires. We are what we are, but if you are in a committed relationship, cheating is still cheating and the consequences of that are far worse than acting on your impulses. Just another piece of the puzzle in dealing with my feminine side. Someday, I'll figure it all out and come to terms with it. For now, it's just day by day.

I knew by the time I was 16 yrs old that I was bisexual.I've been dressing since I was 15.At 16 I desired men when I was dressed as a woman.My first
sexual encounter came when I was 19 and I was dressed as a woman. Ever since then the only time that I'm ever with a man is if I'm dressed as a woman.I like the feeling of a man lifting my skirt and having his own way!oops!

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Originally Posted by CharleneT

I second Lisa-e-love's thought on this one.

C.

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Me too (or third, or whatever).

If you're thinking about putting on boobs/makeup/wig and getting into a situation wth another person with boobs/makeup/wig, and if you would be disgusted by the situation if both of you got rid of the boobs/makeup/wig, it's going to turn out extremely awkward.

Even if a TG is pretty hot, the illusion falls apart fast when you start making out, unless she's had laser/electolysis done on her face. Think about the stubble. Think about the boy parts. Think about the man voice. Think about big hands touching you. If you're cool with that, go for it.

Mandy , hon, I'd be surprised if any CD says they've never had these thoughts. How can you avoid them if your intention is to have a woman's look, a woman's body and a woman's mind.

As a lotta the ladies have said, all you can do is "go with the flow" and work it out in your head on a case by case basis. Get rid of the guilt. If you're following a desire that hurts no one else and gives you pleasure, go where your heart leads you.

Beware the impetuousness produced by drink or pressure. You de-value sex by divorcing it from the pull of the heart. Do as you please, but don't do it for pleasure alone. You'll always want it to be associated with good memories, not more guilt and embarrassment.

If you have fantasies of the non-heterosexual kind, experiment & discover more about yourself, what's right for you.

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Originally Posted by mandyb

But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

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The real question shouldn't be whether you are hetero, homo or bissexual. The only question should be:"Am I really in love (or at least badly turned on...) with that person?" and the second question then becomes "Do I let my senses guide my behaviour or do some other motives tell me that I shouldn't let my senses take over..."

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Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.

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My first experience took me by surprise... I felt really attracted to the person (another CD sister) and it was reciprocal... It turned out that she started pretty soon to act as a man with me and that my senses completely surprised me... I was completely seduced and abandonned... It didn't matter what was the gender of the person I was with. I just felt so good...

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Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.

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On your last question, at that point it was almost irrelevant. It just happened that we didn't go all the way... But that wasn't even important anymore...

I think sexual behaviour with a partner requires a mutual respect and a true relationship, be it a woman, a crossdresser or a man...

:hugs:
Eugenie

You might just enjoy the idea of a man being turned on by you.

Men are kind of gross in my taste. Yeah it would be cool knowing a guy was going to think of me when he was with his wife that night but yeah fantasy and reality are not the same.

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Originally Posted by deja true

Mandy , hon, I'd be surprised if any CD says they've never had these thoughts. How can you avoid them if your intention is to have a woman's look, a woman's body and a woman's mind.

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What an absolute ridiculous statement.

Talk about generalisation.

First you might want to take a look at this thread. There are a lot of good responses there. I am bisexual and this is something most people feel from puberty on. Many who only feel it "at times" or under "certain circumstances" are called bi-curious.

Is it possible you are? Sure. Is it probable? Not likely as most people of any sexual orientation will tell you its all the time or they've known since puberty.

Don't get me wrong, there is that possibility, but please know, bisexuals fall in love with people of any gender. Its not just sexual and that's a very big difference.

okay, here's the deal. I've been where you are. It's all about how far you are actually willing to go. If you're out there and you see a guy and you start talking...let's say he wants to touch you. are you comfortable? what if he kisses you...or invites you to his place. If at any point you get uncomfortable, STOP. You have the right to say no, and if you need any safety tips, it's in a sticky on the top of the forum. It took me four tries before I found somebody I was comfortable with. It may take you only one, or it might take thirty. it depends on how comfortable you are and how many times you're willing to put yourself out there.

That's really about it. Have fun and let us know what happens. You know, us girls want details!!!

As with most, it started "innocently" enough. The feel of nylons, garters, bra. The look of a feminine body. The skirt, my breasts sticking out. my hair sweeping my shoulders. The touch abd taste of my lipstick, the look and feel of my mascara and eye shadow,. That was sensual enough. Then the mind change from wow thios is sexy to how do I look to others. Reading TV literature and looking at photos. Wpndering how it would be like to be with a man. Wanting to be with a man. Enjoying the femininity of being with a man. Wantong aman exclusively.
That has been my journey. Obviously not everyone has gone down this path but it one I have traveled and do not regret.
Dawn

I never had desires for men until I slipped on my first pair of panties and nylons and new I was bi-sexual right then. I was fortunate to find the right guy and we had very nice sexual relationship:hugs:.

If the thought excites you perhaps this could be the legendary and infamous "bi when dressed" scenario. :) I don't have it myself but I think I understand it. When dressed, the ultimate feminizing experience is to "use a man" as you see fit to be a girl's "must have accessory" :D

I think you should enjoy the feelings you're having. Being bisexual is not a curse. But putting a label on it takes the fun out of it. Go with what you feel. You'll know very quickly if it's for you or not. I've know I'm bisexual for many years, it just took 40 years to act on it. I've enjoyed my experiences and wouldn't trade them for the world. Don't let anyone talk you into or out of expanding your experiences. Go with your heart and be honest with yourself. You'll know what to do when the time comes.

Let me add the usual caveats:

- protect your physical safety, especially with anyone you don't know well. That can mean things like hourly cell-phone check-ins with a friend who always knows where you are... meeting in public first, and so on

- protect your sexual safety. Wear protection, no ATM, and so on.

- If you are currently in a relationship with someone, STOP and think about what this could do to your relationship, especially if the other person doesn't know. If Sally is exclusive with you, and you pick up an STD from a secret encounter with Harry, and you give it to Sally, she is not going to thank you for it.

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Originally Posted by tess-leigh

- protect your sexual safety. Wear protection, no ATM, and so on.

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Whoa!

That's sound advice... but... WHOA!

Is it bad that this cracked me up -- the way you just threw it in there casually? I don't think anybody does that outside porn anyway. Is it even legal?

(re: ATM)

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Originally Posted by racquel937

I don't think anybody does that outside porn anyway. Is it even legal?

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Legal in Ohio? Yes, as long as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

(And no, I'm not just making that up!)

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Originally Posted by tess-leigh

(re: ATM)


Legal in Ohio? Yes, as long as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

(And no, I'm not just making that up!)

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ATM? Okay, I'm not the most experienced person in the world. The only ATM I know is the machine where you get money, and a computer acronm. Your going to have to explain this one.

Elizabeth

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Originally Posted by Elizabeth Ann

The only ATM I know is the machine where you get money, and a computer acronm. Your going to have to explain this one.

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I'll send you a brief PM -- the expansion might be slightly beyond the bounds of this public forum.

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Originally Posted by tess-leigh

as the woman isn't wearing patent leather shoes.

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Hmm... But who exactly qualifies as a woman?

"Maybe, in the heat of passion, it's okay to go A-T-M!" Clerks 2

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Originally Posted by racquel937

Hmm... But who exactly qualifies as a woman?

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I spent a bunch of time (too much time!) chasing down the law. It had to do with Cleveland Ohio specifically, and had to do with women wearing patent leather shoes in public (lest men see the reflection of the women's underwear in the shoes.) However, I went through the current Cleveland ordinances and could not find this law, so I think it must have been repealed by now.

I'd agree that attraction to men starts early, and also that it's often hidden from ourselves for a long time.

Before puberty, my friend and I discovered masturbation together, and then we discovered our mom's lingerie drawers. We freely and innocently played with each other, and I often dressed and danced for him, and even did silly strip-teases.

It happened that our family moved just at puberty, and in my new (small) town I quickly had a crush on and made friends with another boy (and some girls). Stupidly thinking that boys that like each other also like to play naked, I 'came on' to him and was brutally rejected. It was pretty traumatic.

For years I acted nothing but straight with men (though with women I was different), until I began hanging out with a new friend, Dirk. We met on weekends and enjoyed each other's company and doing things together as two straight guys.

He was very macho, and I was (inside and secretly) very femme, and over time our relationship really became more like boyfriend and girlfriend--we did what he wanted, I did what would please him, etc.

Talking about girls led to arousal and then (after three years) masturbation together and to my pleasing him orally. After six months (!!), I finally risked everything and dressed in front of him. His first comment was, "Damn, women's clothes suit you so well!!" Later, we laughed about how long it took us to get to that point!

I'm not sure if this addresses your question much, I hope so. Thanks for letting me talk about this...

:)

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Originally Posted by chrissietoo

Before puberty, my friend and I discovered masturbation together, and then we discovered our mom's lingerie drawers. We freely and innocently played with each other

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I find it disturbing to call that innocent. Before puberty there's no sex drive to get that kind of thing going. While I suppose technically that kind of thing could happen, in reality it doesn't. When two kids are brought up in a good home they don't suddenly think it's a good idea to start masturbating together. Every time you get to the bottom of one of those stories, the truth is that one of the children was molested at an extremely young age, and then the kid in turn starts molesting his/her friends.

When a 3-year-old takes off his clothes and says "look at me!" that can be innocent, but when a 10-year-old takes it out and starts playing with it in front of his friend, that's a sign of childhood trauma.

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Originally Posted by racquel937

When two kids are brought up in a good home they don't suddenly think it's a good idea to start masturbating together. Every time you get to the bottom of one of those stories, the truth is that one of the children was molested at an extremely young age, and then the kid in turn starts molesting his/her friends.

When a 3-year-old takes off his clothes and says "look at me!" that can be innocent, but when a 10-year-old takes it out and starts playing with it in front of his friend, that's a sign of childhood trauma.

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Well, I was never molested, and have no reason at all to suspect that my friend was. I've met and talked to many men who masturbated with their friends as boys and who had "normal" upbringings. It was innocent in that we really didn't know much about sex (it was only after we'd masturbated for a while that I learned about intercourse), we just knew it felt real good.

Perhaps some major trauma is as yet undiscovered, buried deep in my unconscious, but i prefer the more direct explanation for young sex...it was a big turn-on.

:)

if you think your bi, i say just go with it see where it takes you. I started with bi thoughts when dressed, then discovered i was having fantasy's about other cd'ers even when i wasnt dressed, then it moved on again to wanting non cders, no find me sexy when i was dressed. when i finally meet my 1st guy, the look on his face when he seen my underwear & how quickly it got him turned on, turned me on. always makes me smile when i think of that night:daydreaming:

Jill

In my mind, engaging in homosexual activities with another, CD or male, does not constitute being homosexual.
If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.
There have been real cute guys I've had crushes on in the past. If I were truly attracted to males, then I guess I would be attached now.
I believe it's okay to "test the waters" if you special feelings for another CD or male friend.

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Originally Posted by MsJoann

In my mind, engaging in homosexual activities with another, CD or male, does not constitute being homosexual.

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Wha... ???

Engaging in homosexual activities doesn't constitute being homosexual? That's the very definition of homosexuality.

There are plenty of homosexual men who aren't down with the gay lifestyle or interested in a long-term monogamous relationship with another man, but that certainly doesn't mean they're not homosexual.

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Originally Posted by MsJoann

If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.
There have been real cute guys I've had crushes on in the past. If I were truly attracted to males, then I guess I would be attached now.

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And I really have no idea what you're saying about "oral activity." If heterosexual couples can have oral sex, why can't homosexuals have oral sex without being labeled as homosexual? What on earth are you saying?

You like having oral sex with men, but you're not attached to one? There are cute guys you've had crushes on, but not most of them? Welcome to the gay single life!

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Originally Posted by racquel937

Wha... ???

Engaging in homosexual activities doesn't constitute being homosexual? That's the very definition of homosexuality.

[snip]
You like having oral sex with men, but you're not attached to one? There are cute guys you've had crushes on, but not most of them? Welcome to the gay single life!

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IMHO sexuality is more than who you have sex with. It's who you fall in love with (men, women, both?),
how feel deep inside (masculine, feminine, gender queer?), how you present yourself to others (man, woman, neither); what kinds of bodies you like to play with is just one part of the spectrum.

We've all seen that the answers to those questions are broad, can sometimes change, and don't easily fit into categories. That's what being human is about.

Why is it so important to "know" if someone is homosexual, or did something "homosexual" or not? Isn't it more important to know if they (and their partner) were kind, happy and satisfied?

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Originally Posted by chrissietoo

Why is it so important to "know" if someone is homosexual, or did something "homosexual" or not? Isn't it more important to know if they (and their partner) were kind, happy and satisfied?

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I don't think it's important to know. The only people who seem to care much about labels are the ones who are scared of being seen as gay. I just thought her statement was very odd:

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Originally Posted by MsJoann

If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.

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I just can't figure out what she's trying to say. If hetero couples can have hetero sex, why can't gay couples have gay sex? It makes no sense. Hetero couples having hetero sex leads to them being labeled as hetero couples, just like gay couples having gay sex leads to them being labeled as gay.

I had just got out of the Navy in 1987 and a buddy and I were partying pretty good and feelin pretty brave, We were at my then GF's house, she was upstairs sleeping and as we discussed the multitude of things we were curious about and wanted to attempt, we decided to go up to her dresser and find lingerie items, pantyhose or whatever would work for the next couple hours, we had been friends for years before this, still are, there are many times I find myself thinking back and remembering, and at times even find myself wishing to do it all again,

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Originally Posted by Rachel Morley

If the thought excites you perhaps this could be the legendary and infamous "bi when dressed" scenario. :) I don't have it myself but I think I understand it. When dressed, the ultimate feminizing experience is to "use a man" as you see fit to be a girl's "must have accessory" :D

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Quite possible. It would give a sense of validation. "He takes me, therefore, I have achieved my desire to be a woman".

In gurly mode I must be "heterosexual" and would only go with a man. Whenever the right opportunity comes along, yes I will fall into his arms and onto my knees.

:thumbsup:Mandy, as the old adage goes, you won't know until you try it.


Strangely, or may be not, in boy mode I am bisexual, which my wife accepts and sometimes encourages.

My first sexual encounter with a CD was an absolutely wonderful experience and I have had quite of few of them since then. Not once was I disappointed by these sexual encounters. They are ordinary people just like us. Over time I found myself being emailed by straight males, chatted with them and ultimately dated a few. Frankly they were more gentlemanly than a lot of the males I have run across in my long life. I see no need however to put a label on it. If you enjoy being with a woman, a tgirl, a CD, a straight male or a manatee, I say go for it, enjoy yourself and don't worry about what it makes or doesn't make you.

Hugs, Janice

WOW, Good Question! OK. So I have been a CD my whole life. And yes I have done the Hotel thing. (getting all dolled up, and having sex with a man). Very hot at the time!

I was also very young and goofing around with dr#$gs!!

So I became a good girl. And I still had the fantasy!!!

I sat in front of the computer, thinking I would hook up with men, so I would feel like a woman!!!!

Well, fate stepped in. I met Gina, A make up artist, And than I met a bunch of really cool crossdressers that actually went out to bars and clubs, And I realized that my true fantasy was strolling all over town as a woman. Wanting to feel like a woman had,NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.

I guess from my experience. Being in the closet, leads to closet fanyasy's. If there is anyway you can actually leave the closet you will experience reallity. Which is where you might find your REAL FEELINGS.

I am not on a high horse, I realize that I am very lucky to live the life I live. But I thought I would share my experience!

XOXO Tiffany

My wife and I have traded places a few times, it just didn't feel right to either of us to trade places. so I'm still the guy, in gurls clothes, and she is still the girl. All the best....BJ

Very good discussion topic. When I dress I do fantisize about being with a cd/tg/ts/male, though I know it is only good for me in fantasy land.

So I go to raves on regular basis, I'm one of the few totally sober ravers, I just love to dance. Anyways we had party at my friends since there was not any that weekend. Let's just say four of us ended up on my friends king size bed. Anyways I won't label him, but he dressed in female clothes, bad makeup and bright wigs and decided he was hot for me. So I said what the heck, so the four of us chatted, while building up with foreplay all of us dressed though. I was mostly playing with his nipples, we had these vibrating gloves, so I massaged him with those also (only up above though), though he started to want me to touch him through his shorts, that is where I drew the line though, I just got weirded out by touching someone elses. So that just confirmed that I am definitely hetro and not bi. So some things are definitely only for fantasy. For me the fantasy is really about being fully accepted as a female. I do think I would totally be comfortable doing it with a gg while dressed though. :2c:

hi ive been bi gay straght im currntly in a relation with my (as a man)asian boyfrend 3yrs now, who knows but i dont feel comfortable in front of him...
befor that id visit gay bars that were crossgender ive been with many cd,tv,ts,and (some girls not many) i think im queer afew years ago i met a ts and we have become frends an she is the one who i first told about how i like to dress up. and has helped very much
an what excites me the most is dressing up an being with an other like me
(cross dressing femmine girly hot times) also with a femmne gay guy
so im what i am
in sydney looking for like minded frends
:daydreaming:
annabelle

i've read through many of these responses and almost all of them are spot-on. the point that i see them trying to make is: be yourself, who cares what others think. the hard part about bisexuality is figuring out how much you like the opposite sex, or if you even need to label yourself as such. i'm a member at alt.com (a website for bdsm, etc. kinda like adultfriendfinder and just as useless when it comes to dating) and read many testimonials, probably dozens, of men questioning their sexuality because they like anal stimulation. the best advice i read on there was this: forget the labels. you are who you are, and you don't need to explain that to people who don't understand, least of all to people who expect to understand your sexuality through a single word. there are so many different levels of sexuality that it's pointless to jumble them all up together in a single word. so, like so many others have said, be yourself, be confident, and forget those who don't accept it.

and oh yeah, this sounds like tons of fun:
"Ever since then the only time that I'm ever with a man is if I'm dressed as a woman.I like the feeling of a man lifting my skirt and having his own way!"

p.s. don't try the atm. it's gross. let's just say it involves recycling.

Er...atm...urban dictionary dot com....definitions 2 and 3 ...


Eeewww!

One of the biggest "problems" I see, especially with many crossdressers is that they are not in touch with their feelings. Feelings play a big part in this "game", particularly feelings in connection with another person. It's hard sometimes to separate the feelings from the femme identity, ergo the confusion.

There is also the "stigma" of being labeled gay by many who insist, sometimes too much so, that they are strictly heterosexual. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for another person, regardless of what genetic sex they are but the heart, the situation and the chemistry plays a big part as well and it doesn't always necessarily lead to consummating the feelings with sex. This is why getting in touch with ourself and addressing our feelings is so important because quite frankly it all comes off in the bedroom anyway if it goes that far and the important part is the feelings we have and not trying to fulfill any kind of role. While the implication may be scary for some, it is nonetheless the truth.

Sometimes we worry way too much about the definitions of society or what other people may think. The real way to true freedom is being true to ourself. I find it much easier anyway.:)

My early experiences were very much like Chrissietoo's. We were 11 and there was no molestation, we were both very willing. Now I find I am attracted to people who are sweet and intelligent, maybe have a sense of adventure and think I'm pretty!

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Originally Posted by mandyb

I am fairly new to cross dressing but realised recently it all started when I was around 10yrs old and remember trying on a pair of my mums boots.Anyway thats a little about me. The reason for the post is because I have been speaking to a few girls since I have been dressing and very flattered that some of them wish to meetup.Some just want to meet and chat but some of them want something more from the meeting.This really excite`s me and I was told to take note of these feelings as they are likely to be my true thoughts.But this just adds to my confusion as I am heterosexual or so I thought.Does this mean I am bisexual ?

Can I also ask what are your experiences,how did you deal with your first sexual encounter.Did you have full sex or did you try other forms of release first.

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Mandy,

It's great that you get that thrill out of being 'chased' by other CD's, and as a fantasy it can a very exciting thing. When it comes to reality, however, the story can be very different. You need to think very carefuly about what kind of experience you are looking for, what kind of role you want to play, and what kind of role you expect from your partner.

The truth is (and this is just IMHO), the labels that are attributed to heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are just that; labels. The most important thing about finding a partner (or having sex with a partner) is how you feel about the experience.