What's the difference?

So I was BUSTED hard buy a former friend. No one knows I like to dress, especially him. He is one of those very rough and tough kind of guys.
Anyway, I was home and he came over unexpectedly and let himself in as most people do.
But this time I was all dressed up!

It surely took him by surprise. The look on his face was more like one of horror.
He yelled out. "Holy s***! What are you a transvestite?"
I replied "No, I am a cross-dresser."
He answered that with "Transvestite... cross-dresser. What's the difference? Only fagots dress like woman."
Well it went down hill fast from there. It got ugly, and hence the "former friend."
One thing I am NOT, is gay by any means.

But he did get me wondering about that.

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

Sorry to hear you got busted. That sucks royally!

There is no difference between a TV and a CD, and there's no point in declaring your not gay. It doesn't really matter either way.

The important thing is how you're going to deal with the situation.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susancheerleader

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

---

The ONLY difference I know is how you spell the two words. Otherwise, they are the same.

Big OOPs on being sprung, but the guy doesn't seem to have been very friendly. So maybe you're better off with him as a former friend anyway.

As to the terms they both infer negative sentiments. Perhaps CD is a softer term. But, hey, don't get me started on labels.

Explain to him that you could kick his ass even in your best Sunday dress.
That will make the situation much better. :heehee:

No but for real, he will get over it.
He will also probably never just walk in to someone's home without knocking first.

Oh yeah about TV vs CD -
From what I understand, a TV is a straight guy who concentrates mostly on the smallest aspects of CD'ing like wearing undergarments but has no intention of presenting as woman, a purely sexual thing.
CD's tend to want to present as women as much as we can.

So I guess it comes down to different levels. Who knows, this is just what I have always understood it to be...

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought there was. I thought a transvestite was someone who feels they are a women in a mans body, and a cross-dresser was someone who just enjoys wearing womans clothing.
So he was right with that.
But not his last part. We are not all "gay" as he put it. (I am not using the "f" word again.)

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

Transvestite is the term from the medical establishment, and is defined by the american diagnostic manual (can't remember the right name at the moment) as having a 'fetish' involving wearing the clothes of the other gender; 'fetish' being used there in a medical sense meaning something that is necessary or virtually necessary for you in order to function sexually. But the diagnostic manual has very low standards for "diagnosing" transvestitism: if you Dress Up more than 3 times in your life, even if they have nothing to do with sexual situations, then you are so labeled.

Because the diagnostic manual is a disorder about fetishism, those for whom dressing is not a fetish (in the technical sense above) decided to create a more public-relations friendly term, and came up with "crossdresser". Crossdresser does not inherently imply fetishism. Sure lots of guys get a sexual thrill out of crossdressing, especially when they are relatively new to it, but if your dressing extends beyond sexualism, then most people around here would use the term crossdresser instead.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

---

I doubt he would say anything. That would put him in the spot of explaining how or why he was a (former) friend to a cross-dresser for 30+ years. He likes his "macho" image.

According to Websters . . . A crossdresser wears clothes meant for the opposite sex. A transvestite is a person who derives sexual pleasure from dressing in clothes of the opposite sex. But I am so happy when wearing dresses and skirts, don't call me a crossdresser, call me a happy dresser!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susancheerleader

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

---

Hi Susan,

I think one can make the case there is no difference in the definition of the two words.

It is my understanding that transvestite is a french word or a derivative of a french word. Breaking the word down into two parts you get "trans" meaning cross as in "trans Atlantic crossing" and vestite meaning something close to "clothing". I think you can correctly guess what crossdressing means. So you can see how similar in definitions the two are.

Hope this helps.

The definitions of transvestite requiring fetishism are sorely outdated.

We of the transgender community must make it our duty to define the major umbrella terms that describe us as innocuously as possible.

As far as we are concerned, transvestite = crossdresser, meaning someone who intentionally wears clothing designed for the opposite sex. The reason or motive is unimportant.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deanna2

Big OOPs on being sprung, but the guy doesn't seem to have been very friendly. So maybe you're better off with him as a former friend anyway.

As to the terms they both infer negative sentiments. Perhaps CD is a softer term. But, hey, don't get me started on labels.

---

:iagree:

May he was just upset you looked better in dress than he did :devil:

Labels are those who like an ordered society so let chaos reign :devil:

If you examine the words, 'trans' and 'cross' mean basically the same thing as do 'dress' and 'vest.' There is no real difference in meaning, it is only a matter of personal preference.

Caution - don't speak for all of us. I find the word transvestite offensive. I consider myself a crossdresser.

The words mean different things to different people, so to say they are the same is not accurate. "Transvestite" is an outdated word that sounds like a disease to me. Crossdresser more accurately describes what I do without the "added baggage."

I don't have issues with labels per se, but I do prefer to be the one labeling myself. :)

As a policy wonk and someone who deals in foreign affairs, I can assure you that words mean a great deal - parsing them up into pieces to trace origins is one thing, but words also have significant cultural meanings not always understood by everyone.

Transvestite is derived from Latin and means cross dress. (from Latin trans-, "across, over" and vestere, "to dress or to wear") and coined in 1910 in Magnus Hirschfeld's book "Die Transvestiten : eine Untersuchung über den erotischen Verkleidungstrieb" ("The transvestites : an investigation of the erotic urge to disguise").

Finding the term to be offensive is just playing into the hands of the uneducated. And it means you are allowing non-trans individuals to not only label us, but also to define us.

Transvestite is the term used mostly in the UK, and none of the TVs consider it to be offensive. Crossdresser was coined by Virginia Prince (Tri-Ess founder) in the 1970's due to the negative conotation the trans community permitted others to associate with the term transvestite.

Quote:

---

Transvestites are not in the DSM (only fetishistic transvestites are, and I’ve yet to meet anyone who fits that description). As . . . one of our MHB board faithful clarified, “…the word “transvestite” was coined by Magnus Hirschfeld circa 1910, was used as a broad, entirely non-judgmental term that would encompass what today would really be considered the entire tg spectrum, and was *not* invented by the psychiatric profession to pathologize or perversify people.”

---

http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=240

Where does this asshole live? I will bring along a few Marines and we'll see who's "tough." Glad you aren't his friend anymore, you don't need ignorant jerks like that in your life. Let him live in the dark. :Angry3:

We don't need friends like that!! That is not a real friend. You will findout quickly who your real friends are and it is a good thing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

---

sorry to hear about your 'former friend', Susan. As most of the previous posts have stated, 'transvestite' and 'crossdresser' basically mean the same thing. In my world, however, a transvestite, a 'Trannie', implies someone who is out and about when dressed, and deliberately tries to pass as feminine. A 'crossdresser' is someone who is not professional, and dresses because they feel like itl In other words, a transvestite is a professional crossdresser. No science, that's just how I interpret the two words.
Even less provocative than crossdresser, is 'female impersonator', a term which I have used, but which also implies that I dress on stage, which I have done. w.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susancheerleader

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought there was. I thought a transvestite was someone who feels they are a women in a mans body, and a cross-dresser was someone who just enjoys wearing womans clothing.
So he was right with that.
But not his last part. We are not all "gay" as he put it. (I am not using the "f" word again.)

---

I don't think so - a transvestite is not someone who feels they are a woman in a man's body, that's a transsexual - and I know because I'm one of them.

As far as I can tell, CD and TV are the same - TV is just more clinical sounding, so most prefer CD because it's more accepted.

Let him go to hell!

I belive that "transgender person" is the solution. Shortly TG, but really "burn motherf...., burn".

And it is really your business whta are you doing in your bedroom!

In ancient Athens anyone who used to wear womens clothes, was considered a woman!

Cheers

From my limited understanding, transvestite was the original word, and was most often associated with drag-queen performance artists and male prostitutes. When CD's became more well-known in society, they started to use the term crossdresser to avoid being negatively associated with comedy routines and sex.

Of course, we may enjoy comedy routines and sex, but we probably don't want everyone to think that's what it's all about :-)

A TV is that box with the pictures and sound in your living room.

A CD is the shiney round plastic thing that you play in your stereo.

I'm a guy in a dress.

Sorry, he is just a BH (bone head) how is that for a lable.

Hugs Anna

par for the course. Anything out of the ordinary creates fright for them. It's too bad.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestism

Above is the link to the definition!

Tara

I actually started a thread not so long ago asking what I was, whether TG, TV, TS, or CD. What I came to find out though is that I was a TG. But I think the most wrongly used term is "TS". A lot of people seem to think that "TS" means that you're full-time and that you have breasts, long natural hair, and perhaps are on HRT and have undergone SRS. I personally think TS and TG are as interchangeable as TV and CD are.

This thread proves that we all use these labels differently - which is why they so often cause offence.

Mind, if we can't even agree terms amongst ourselves, we can't really blame the rest of the world for not understanding us? :idontknow:



PS - it's rather dangerous to assume that what Wikipedia says is the truth? It's only ever the sum of people's opinions (sometimes very biased ones)..

With reference to Wikipedia...

Mein Gott!

I never realized I had violated heteronormative bounds. I should be spanked, like a naughty schoolgirl :devil:

Jahwohl!

all of the "research" (not really all that much) I have done would indicate that this is a crossdresser,Attachment 65131
and this is a trasvestite.Attachment 65132
can you see the differance.

Absolutly no difference, people just wanted a new word.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bobi jean

all of the "research" (not really all that much) I have done would indicate that this is a crossdresser,Attachment 65131
and this is a trasvestite.Attachment 65132
can you see the differance.

---

I Knew it had something to do with plants :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JennyRotten

Where does this asshole live? I will bring along a few Marines and we'll see who's "tough." Glad you aren't his friend anymore, you don't need ignorant jerks like that in your life. Let him live in the dark. :Angry3:

---

I am so glad you all my friends :D

It sounds like you left your door unlocked allowing your friend to let himself in. It's probable that you wanted to be discovered unconciously. Does this sound right?

TV and CD are the same as it's been explained by some of the posts so well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bobi jean

all of the "research" (not really all that much) I have done would indicate that this is a crossdresser,Attachment 65131
and this is a trasvestite.Attachment 65132
can you see the differance.

---

Oh ********. I just did the crossword now this.




(Ah..there's one button less on a transvestite!! HAH!)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susancheerleader

I was home and he came over unexpectedly and let himself in as most people do.
But this time I was all dressed up!

---

Does this seem like a good way to break the news? Especially if he is a good friend? I posted on my blog how not to out yourself with a postcard like this:

http://bp2.blogger.com/_nJAu11g-xhg/...nt+Letters.JPG
http://bp0.blogger.com/_nJAu11g-xhg/...ck+Letters.JPG

I'll have to add this one to my list.

It's better to talk to someone first before hitting them full on. What did you expect? Talk to them first, ask them if they know what a crossdresser is. Do they know that most are heterosexual? Or just, what do you know about crossdressers? We need to be better ambassadors of our cause. Or we will continue to be in the closet.

:2c:

Tracy

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Natalia

A TV is that box with the pictures and sound in your living room.

A CD is the shiney round plastic thing that you play in your stereo.

I'm a guy in a dress.

---

ROLMAO--- Thats great. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dee3

It sounds like you left your door unlocked allowing your friend to let himself in. It's probable that you wanted to be discovered unconciously. Does this sound right?

---

I live in a small town. EVERYONE leaves thier door unlocked when they are home.
Most even leave it unlocked when they are not home. I've seen my neighbors with doors WIDE OPEN and they aren't home.

Another explanation -

"Transvestite" is also often a pr0n term for CD, like "she male" is the pr0n term for "transsexual".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MlleErin

...like "she male" is the pr0n term for "transsexual".

---

Which to me is just as vulagar as being called a fagot.

I guess what bothers one person doen't bother the next.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nicki B

This thread proves that we all use these labels differently - which is why they so often cause offence.

Mind, if we can't even agree terms amongst ourselves, we can't really blame the rest of the world for not understanding us? :idontknow:)

---

I couldn't agree more!

Reacted with a look of horror,I think its funny,just think how he would have acted had you flashed him or something.Yea, Id mess with his head a bit,tell him you know a nice cd who thinks hes real sexy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rachaelb64

May he was just upset you looked better in dress than he did :devil:

Labels are those who like an ordered society so let chaos reign :devil:

---

Your probably more man than he is well you know where. Stupid jock types anyway.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MlleErin

Oh yeah about TV vs CD -
From what I understand, a TV is a straight guy who concentrates mostly on the smallest aspects of CD'ing like wearing undergarments but has no intention of presenting as woman, a purely sexual thing. CD's tend to want to present as women as much as we can.

So I guess it comes down to different levels. Who knows, this is just what I have always understood it to be...

---

Sorry, wrong answer.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by susancheerleader

I doubt he would say anything. That would put him in the spot of explaining how or why he was a (former) friend to a cross-dresser for 30+ years. He likes his "macho" image.

---

Of course you know the guy and we don't, but based on your description of his reaction, I would guess that you are about to be outed big time. Hope I'm wrong, but you might want to be thinking about damage control.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JessieB

Sorry, wrong answer.

---

Perhaps, rather than just viewing our own individual definitions as the right ones, we could use this thread to progress things and agree on which ones to all use - or perhaps we need a poll.. :idontknow:

Ok I maybe wrong, and I'm sure someone will tell me. But the question I think you have to ask yourself Susan is this: Are you physicaly attracted to men or woman?
AS far as I'm concerned, that is what sepperates us from them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Daphne

Ok I maybe wrong, and I'm sure someone will tell me. But the question I think you have to ask yourself Susan is this: Are you physicaly attracted to men or woman?
AS far as I'm concerned, that is what sepperates us from them.

---

I'm not sure what the "us and them" is all about? As far as I'm concerned, whether you're TV/CD/TG/TS and others I may have missed, just about any combination of gender identity and sexual orientation is possible.

So long as we keep trying to plaster labels on everything that moves, especially amongst ourselves, we'll never achieve any recognition in the real world.

The old word and the new word are the only difference. I would contact him and tell him straight up I AM NOT A FAGOT!!! I AM NOT GAY!!! Yes, I am a crossdresser or transvestite, but I am not Gay!!!

Just let him know. I have a friend that I told one time and he also was a ruff and tuff guy, but since I told him he was cool about it and understood that I was not gay.

What's the issue with being gay? None as far as I'm concerned. Whether you are or not is irrelevant. As for faggot, it's just a derogative word.

Susan, I'm sure you know this. You can rise above name-calling and stupid behaviour. You may even find that with time, your "former friend" calms down and apologizes. He's obviously a macho guy and his ego was hurt to think that he'd been friends with you and didn't know this about you. He's probably also scared like hell (homophobic) that you may have fancied him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tess-leigh

Transvestite is the term from the medical establishment, and is defined by the american diagnostic manual (can't remember the right name at the moment) as having a 'fetish' involving wearing the clothes of the other gender; 'fetish' being used there in a medical sense meaning something that is necessary or virtually necessary for you in order to function sexually. But the diagnostic manual has very low standards for "diagnosing" transvestitism: if you Dress Up more than 3 times in your life, even if they have nothing to do with sexual situations, then you are so labeled.

Because the diagnostic manual is a disorder about fetishism, those for whom dressing is not a fetish (in the technical sense above) decided to create a more public-relations friendly term, and came up with "crossdresser". Crossdresser does not inherently imply fetishism. Sure lots of guys get a sexual thrill out of crossdressing, especially when they are relatively new to it, but if your dressing extends beyond sexualism, then most people around here would use the term crossdresser instead.

---

The Psychological definition of Transvestite I am familiar with Is that of a crossdresser who IS NOT Homosexual. Both straights and gays can and do CD, but a TV is a STRAIGHT guy who CDs

CD and TV are effectively the same term, TV being the more formal one., in less formal speech, we use TV to describe a more sexual turn-on "fetish" driven form of CD.

The fetish aspect of TV/CD however is more from the older days of the "single cause" approach to defining why straight guys want to dress as women--"They have a fetish for women's clothing". Nowadays, we know SEVERAL OTHER different reasons why guys CD,eg. "Identity escapisim", "Taboo tripping", "humiliation S/M", etc., besides Fetishes.

There is also CDing involved with "fem-sider" types, Bisexualisim, and different degrees of transsexualisim.

Many Therapists, However, especially those who dont specialize in gender related issues, usually adhere to the older literature--wherin a straight CD is a transvestite and THAT is due to "fetishisim"--and all other CDs are TS or gay.-----Indeed some Non-specialist thrapists think ALL CD is gay related. Ignorance abounds even amoung those who we think should know better---thats why its important to choose therapists carefully.

Indeed, ironically, its hard to figgure out WHY a gay guy, interested men and "manly things" would want to CD at all---but we have ALL seen it--a big mystery of life.

Bottom line TV has 3 definitions: TV=CD who is not TS or Gay. TV=a straight CD who has a fetishthat causes CDing, Or simply, TV=CD.(----this may vary on either side of the pond and in formal vs casual speech.)