Do you hate the "Gay" Label? As a straight crossdresser I hate being generalized as gay because then people get the wrong notion that I have sex with men, and I don't! I'd proudly admit I'm a crossdresser, but not gay! How do you feel about this?
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Do you hate the "Gay" Label? As a straight crossdresser I hate being generalized as gay because then people get the wrong notion that I have sex with men, and I don't! I'd proudly admit I'm a crossdresser, but not gay! How do you feel about this?
It wouldn't bother me if someone called me gay. I'm know that I'm straight and I'm secure with my sexuality. It's not my fault that people are so closed minded.
I'm the same. I am waiting, with anticipation, for my SO to call and tell me to bring up some "****ty things" to wear. We're in a difficult relationship, but this week is better than last. I wore a pink shirt today..........and matching panties.:D
I don't mind the label.
Sometimes I'm quite enthusiastic about someone using it.
Sometimes I'm quite afraid.
Double-Edged Sword there....are there any other kinds ?
:rose: Roberta :rose:
My feelings as well, I also think that the label of being gay because you crossdress is not that prevelent anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by EricaLS85
Huggs, Renee
Doesn't bother me in the least. It is just a word used to define someone or something by the mind of those trying to identify that which it sees. We all use labels. So why get so uptight about them.
They have no power over us unless we give them power.
That comment sounds somewhat homophobic to me! No, I am fine with it. Several of my friends are in same sex relationships and I am totally ok with people thinking I am perhaps gay even though I am straight. I can always tell them I'm not gay if they happen to come on to me, and if it's a complete stranger in the street who perhaps thinks this about me because he sees or suspects I am a crossdresser ... well who the hell cares!Quote:
Originally Posted by KateSpade83
Doesnt bother me in the slightest, in fact I consider it something of a compliment. Some of the best, most compassionate, downright decent people I know are gay.
I don't like it. The problem with the gay label for CDers isn't that you are called "gay", it's that when they say the word they mean it like this, "you are a disgusting, sicko".
I definitely hate the gay label because of homophobia, being ostracized for it, job discrimination / problems, and that it'll turn off most women.
I'm not gay, unless you count being in love with myself. By that standard, most people are gay.
P.S. I am not opposed to having sex with men, but prefer women. I hate having to explain my gender preference to both, so have not been very sexually active.
I don't know if I hate the gay label... but I dislike it a LOT! It does not describe my sexual orientation at all... It's like calling a gay person "straight" because they don't crossdress or because they are very masculine.
Peace,
Robyn
i don't like being mistaken for something i'm not and meeting ignorant people. however, i see it as an opportunity to educate them and show them that there is a lot more to crossdressing than sexual orientation. i also try to view it from their perspective. it all depends on the person though. if they are a real jerk, i will give it righ back to them. if they are curious, i will try to educate them as best i can.
I don't really like it but for the uneducated or folks who just don't know, I can understand how they would mistake a CD for being gay. I don't like to assume any ones sexuality because 1st it is none of my business and 2nd I don't care. I guess if I wasn't a CD and I met some I might assume they have sex with men because that is what women do for the most part. therefore gay. But still best not to assume anything and take people at face value not who they get it on with
I know some people will just go nuts hearing about "hating the gay label" Personally I understand the general confusion. To a guy who has never had the desire to wear women's clothes the leap to homosexual isn't all that great. Women wear women's clothes and women tend to like men. A generalization for sure, but one that comes with some data to back it up, as most of them are. A cliche is a cliche for a reason, that is what makes it a cliche, not a hard and fast rule. You also have to look at the pop culture references to the world of crossdressing the "Drag Queen" rules the references. A "Drag Queen" is generally thought of as a homosexual man that wears woman's clothing: To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar; The Birdcage; Priscilla Queen of the Desert, TransAmerica... The genre of "gender confusion movies" is filled with gay men that dress as women. A slight misrepresentation of the popultaion, perhaps, but not any less valid. The population that has no interest in gender bending dosen't know anything about it. Not surprising. I don't care for auto racing so my general perception of it is "fast cars that turn left". Not a wholly representational view of the sport what with a branch of it being trucks, and then there is the whole world of formula one, where the wheel actually gets turned to the right. Not invalid, just incomplete. Anyway that just a realists two cents on the matter...
Hey girls,
Its just a label born out of ignorance really. Believe it or not I get that too but from the CD fraternity. They are always asking me If I a gay because I fancy my SO dressed. It did used to bother me but I guess I have just come to understand that people just dont understand something that is alien to them.
Take Care
BTW I AM NOT GAAAAAAYYYY tee hee
just wanted to add: Bev, you are incredible. can we clone you? pwetty pweeaaaassseee
Awww your so cute.Quote:
Originally Posted by gagirl1
Corse ya can
Bev
ok, i'll start the research.
I prefer the term Gay to "Homo" "Queer" "Puffta" "Shirt-lifter" or any of the other labels applied to people by other people when they can't be bothered to understand them.
My sexuality is an ongoing journey. At one stage I would have described myself a "100% straight" and only interested in female partners. Now I acknowledge I have some feelings stirred by certain men. I shall probably never act on them, but I am not disgusted by myself or upset.
I guess I am lucky because the gay people I have met in my life have been 100% wonderful human beings, not a single jerk/idiot/timewaster or fool among them. Sadly I can't say the same for the "straight" people in my life. Ho hum! One of the coolest people I know is a Scottish guy who has been openly gay for as long as I've known him. He is clever, articulate and a top notch human being. All those things and he just happens to prefer guys ... so what!
In my life, I've had numerous random strangers on the street (or, much more likely, in cars) call me "fag" -- including one time when I was wearing completely stereotypical male clothes (jeans, lumberjack shirt) and had just 3 minutes before had my hair cut quite short by a very old school "man's barber". It often upset me that people were so quick to judge me and yell insults to try to hurt me.
It isn't the idea of homosexuality that bothers me: I don't remember that the idea ever bothered me. There were some "out" gay men my high school, and some people avoided them and put them down for that, but what I saw was that they were amongst the few people outside of my {small} direct circle of friends who were pleasant to me. I don't have much of a "gaydar" at all, but as an adult, the women who have taken the time to get to know me have often turned out to be lesbian. The only friend (person who really knows me) that I have come out to as a cross-dresser was lesbian when she lived in the same city (now bi); I hadn't seen her in years or even talked to her much, but when she visited the city, I knew she'd be fine with the idea, so I wore a skirt to our dinner (and I was right, she was tickled by it, and by my trust in her.) So it doesn't bother me if a stranger thinks that I'm homosexual.
But there is a difference between people thinking that I am homosexual and people yelling epitaphs at me on the street. Consider for example the word "genius": it's nice to be thought of as very smart, but when you are child and kids on the playground "spit out" the word at you, or as an adult, people in passing cars yell it out at you, those people aren't trying merely describing you or complementing you: they are trying to hurt you, and it is the obvious intent to hurt that hurts, rather than the actual choice of label hurled out. Why do people feel that they must be cruel to others??
Now, an interesting oddity in all of this, is that in the time since I started crossdressing (less than 4 years ago) and started appearing in public gender-bending or completely dressed, I haven't had even one "fag" yelled at me. I have been laughed at (but not very often).
I find that these days, cross-dressed or gender-bending, I make many more random short-term "connections" with strangers than I did before I started cross-dressing, that overall, I am more "socially accepted" even as "a guy in a skirt" than I was before I had any idea that I wanted to wear skirts. I don't know why: perhaps women somehow see me as "safer" to talk to, or perhaps they perceive "something in common" -- or perhaps I'm just smiling more.
I guess it will be more upsetting to hear it from people who know you but have not even tried to find out about your sexuality
The general public have not yet realised crossdressing does not automatically mean gay
I for one am not that bothered if people think I am gay, I know I’m not so what label they want to use from ignorance is down to them, But in their defence it can be very confusing to those who don’t understand, I don’t have a problem with this as when I realised how much my cross dressing meant to me I wondered if I was gay myself. I even tried a gay relationship with a friend of mine (also a cross dresser) It didn’t work for either of us, He is now in a full time gay relationship and very happy, For me I now have the woman of my dreams who loves Katie. The funny thing is that some of the most unkind comments I have had about my sexuality have come from gay men who just don’t get it. As far as my more “macho” friends are concerned life got much better when I started my new relationship as showed I was not gay as I know that some were uncomfortable with that thought, As for women’s company I have never had it so good, including a lesbian couple, so I don’t agree that it puts ladies off, Finally on discrimination if I was gay here in the UK there are laws to protect gay people, but I’m not sure if they apply to TVs so being labelled gay would make me more protected. So in conclusion I really don’t care what others call me, I am happy with me so that’s really all that matters. Katie, XQuote:
Originally Posted by KateSpade83
Yes I agree with Sarah about Gays. Two of my childhood best mates were openly Gay and one of them liked to wear womens clothes believe it or not. I never had any problems with them, they still keep in touch today eventhough one of them lives in Canada and the other one is the other side of the UK. I love them to bits and always will do and like Sarah has said, they are bright intelligent articulate and wonderful human beings who accept everyone else for who they are.
Bev
Whilst I agree with everything said here, I think I understand the point. Here in the UK, many people still fling out the "gay" accusation as an insult. By association, being asked if we are gay is often an insult - like being asked are we say, child molestors or rapists.
I am not gay, and have no leanings in that direction. I like and respect many gay people for their sensitivity and compassion, which is not why the enquirer is asking, many a time.
As far as i am concerned Gay people are like most Cds in the respect that they go about their own business not harming anyone else yet get picked on for doing that , i have been called gay many times and it just doe`s not bother me as i know the one`s that call you names are just plain ignorant and stupid so why both as to that they are saying, their opinions mean absolutely nothing to me as they are born out of hate ,fear and ignorance.
joanne
No, Bev, you have to hold a Press Conference & have your partner standing behind you trying not to roll their eyes. If anyone asks probing questions, you just respond that you have "a wide stance":heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Bev06 GG
yes im in a same sex relationship,...
an if i were to be called a name with out a smile an a wink,..:D
i do get cranky an have been agressive be for,...:Angry3:
lables are for those that need to be confermed by others:devil:
love n let love,.... an it is just fab to be in love:hugs:
Much rather be called or thought of as gay than a self-absorbed, self-righteous a$$hole!
Gay or not, if I'm liked and appreciated and thought of as responsible, reliable person, then I'm happy...
same here . also it's better to say i am gay than take 10 minutes to explain who i am and how i feel ...Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
meh, i find it hilarious watching ignorant but well meaning people shifting around and being careful because they think i'm gay. saying things like "no offense of course" at the end of a misinformed generalisation but definitely looking me when they say that. i think they leave thinking i'm "at least bisexual", which is a pretty funny statement as it is, also because i would probably def enjoy that. shame really, i've got one eye closed, keep bumping into things lol, as much as i'd love to i just can't get the damn thing open!
but its silly to hope people won't make that assumption about you if you're wearing make-up and being girly, the whole feminisation of men has been a part of 'gay suffrage' as it were. not to mention drag-queenism (if that can be an ism) just correct them if they're wrong, explain yourself if you can, change a few ideas here and there; we'll get the same sexual revolution that the gay community went (and arguably is still going) through, viva! x
I'm bisexual so it doen't bother Me
I would dislike this label very much, because I'm not gay. I would find being called a Christian just as disagreable, because I'm not Christian either. I think it makes sense to be annoyed (hate is too strong a word) at being characterized in a way that is very different than who you are at a fundamental level.
Some are pretty quick to judge folks who go anywhere near the hate or dislike label as homophobes.
Think about it this way:
If you had a college degree in, say, business administration, and everyone kept saying you had an accounting degree. Would you dislike it? Yes. Would it be an insult? No.
I don't view it as an insult to be called gay, but I dislike it when people get their facts wrong. Nothing wrong with that.
I guess you'll have to constantly "come out" as hetero when people assume otherwise - just like many gay people have to come out because people automatically assume they're straight. :p
As for me, I'd rather be called a fag than a dyke because then at least they'd be seeing me as a man. Hasn't happened yet, though. People still think I'm a lesbian . . . including my family, I was recently informed. :doh:
As far as the public masses generalizing that all CD's are gay, I hate it, much in the same way people generalize about gay people. If they ask me personally, I may or may not take offense to it. When they come on with an attitude, I want to ask them, "How much do you weigh?" or "Can I see your DMV photo?"
What I don't like is the know it all who use the word and show everyone how stupid they are. And Kate why do you hate being called Gay you make it sound dirty. By saying you hate to be called gay to my it put you down to there level. I know some very nice gay people they don't judge others except for there stupid thoughts. :hugs:
Angie
Sometimes I take offence and sometimes not. Soemtimes as whole the world does need to suck it up alittle. On a day to day basis I am most likely called something I agree with or not. If I'm in a nasty mood I will take it poorly but on many days it's a whatever kinda thing.
Labels can be a simple descripter or they can meant to hurt. My wife has called me gay and I've taken great offence to it. Words can hurt sometimes. But Sometimes they hurt because they are truthful. Like a lot of people here I've struggled with the "BI" issues as well as things in my childhood that have messed me up beyond belief.
So I guess try to take the word as it was meant.
When all said and done it's just a label. People will think what they think and there isn't a whole lot you can do about that.
As a straight guy, I have had to deal with questions or name calling, but can you do about the uneducated views of some?
The gay label doesn't bother me too much as it doesn't affect my life.
I have some terrific gay friends of both sexes and we all tend to mix freely in one another's circles.
I'm at ease with any label as my nearest and dearest know the truth and that's what counts.
The label of gay does not bother me. Actually it is more sensitive to the feelings of those that are gay than the words fag or queer. I have been asked by only one person if I was gay and that was my ex-wife. I confided in her that I was a cd and she assumed I was gay out of her ignorance of the subject. There was an instance where two guys in a passing vehicle insulted me as I was on a sidewalk. They called me every derogatory word in the book because they made me as a cd. This incident scared me more than anything. Again this was the result of their ignorance of the subject of cd. I think that there should be classes on human sexuality and gender issues that cover cd taught in high school. The vast majority of people are so ignorant of these things and that is a sad thing for us.
I should hate it, but since there is nothing wrong with being gay, I don't hate it.
The reason I should hate it is because when I told my wife I was a transvestite (crossdresser wasn't a term in use back then) she looked it up in the dictionary. She was fine with my dressing up, until she read the definition that equated it with being homosexual.
Heck, there are many who think being gay is a step up from being a tranny.
What I hate is the ignorance that some people, who refuse to educate themselves, show.
My family, friends, and most of my associates know whether I am gay or not. I don't give a fig what strangers think.
I only hate the gay label because it soooo doesn't completely describe me. I am far more then just gay or straight... I can be sad or crooked sometimes too :P
Interestingly enough if your workplace fired you for being a gay transvestite you could sue for discrimination but not so if you are a stright crossdresser. So if I did get into an issue with work because of my CDing then I'll claim GAY all day long... Get all drag queened up and act FLAM'N! at least until the settlement check cleared! hahahaha....
i find it degrading that just because im a crossdresser, people assume im probably straight.
:heehee: :^5:Quote:
Originally Posted by tvbeckytv
Err, I'm bi - so if people said I was gay I would understand. No, doesn't bother me at all.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
If you're not gay, then why do you care about it? In fact, if you were gay, why would you care about it?
I think you're letting yourself get emotionally injured for no reason.
If you think about it it`s a bit ironic that men dressing up as women, acting like women and wanting to be a woman, and chatting to other men doing the same are concerned about being called gay .
joanne
It's not that being gay is a bad thing, I just hate that people jump to conclusions and think that I am just because I CD.
"The lady doth protest too much"