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What if you ran into a co worker, friend or a family member while out dressed what would you do? Hide look anther direction , say you don't know me or come clean? Also what would you do if a guy started to pick up on you? I would in my deepest voice say I don't swing that way sorry. Would have to be a blind guy anyways .
I guess it depends on who it was on how I would react.
I would probably ask if my outfit looked alright.
The thing NOT to do is act shameful. YOumay feel bad but do not show it.
I like that answer , I am the kinda person that pre thinks on things like this for example incase I am ever in a pickle.
Own up. You're busted anyway. If a guy hit on me I'd tell him things aren't exactly as they appear to be sometimes. If he persists I'd just flat out tell him I'm a guy and not interested. What would I do if he persists after that? Here's where it gets iffy. If he's smaller than me maybe rabbit punch him and run like hell. If he's bigger than me, rabbit punch him and run like hell.
Confucius say " Rape impossible because girl run faster with skirt up than man with pants down".
Oh god I would probably try and run in the other direction and hope they didn't get a good look at my face. If they were standing face to face with me, I would probably bust out in tears and explain between sobs.
If it some guy hitting on me, I would probably tell him no. My voice is naturally deep enough that it would put him off.
I must say I love this quote.Quote:
Originally Posted by TommiTN
LOL......Jen love the answers by the way welcome to the site..:)
If they recognized me and called me by my drab name, I would say hi, and not make a big deal of it. If they wished to discuss it then I'm fine with that. I enjoy educating people about who we are. Otherwise I would just go about my business.Quote:
Originally Posted by curse within
If a guy tried to hit on me? It depends on how cute he is! LOL But seriously, I would tell him I'm married, as I wear a wedding ring while dressed, and leave it at that. No use in dropping my voice for him! I prefer to stay a lady.
Love, Tracy :love:
I thought you'd like that one...:heehee:
Loving these answers too funny..But great help just incase.
Thank you for the welcome.Quote:
Originally Posted by curse within
Hmmmm, its the horror of horrors really isnt it? Well you've been sprung so you cant really do anything but come clean. I do try and chose out of town malls and quiet times in the week mornings but where I go is very close to a friend and perhaps one day this will happen. I will probably just say "I guess I like to shock and make a fashion statement or two occasionally". I really dont know but something similar to that. With a guy pick up its just a polite "no thankyou, not interested" without eye contact and move on quickly.Quote:
Originally Posted by curse within
It depends on who the person is. If he are she does not see me, but I see them, I'd probably avoid the interaction. On the otherhand, I might try to walk right by them to see if they even notice me.:eek:
My next-door neighbours saw me fully dressed late one night -- we were taking the same bus home, and they recognized me in about 1 1/2 seconds flat (even though I had wig and all.) I didn't talk to them on the bus, but when we got off the bus, I waited while they grabbed a snack in the corner store and then I walked home with them and answered their questions: I didn't want them to get the impression that I was running away from the situation or ashamed of what I was doing. They had no apparent problem with the idea, and they've seen me dressed in passing a few times since then (leaving the house at the same time.) The key was to react with dignity.
But more than a year before that, a co-worker saw me on one of my early outings, femme clothes but no wig yet then. He visited me in my office and mentioned having seen me (and he had the time and place dead to rights), and he made some joke about it having to do with my Scottish heritage. I said, "Uhhh, yeah, something like that." We haven't discussed the matter since, and he hasn't acted noticeably different towards me.
I think one of my co-workers was sitting about 10 feet away from me (with a fairly straight view toward me) at a key Pride drag performance in early June, but I'm not certain. I didn't hear anything about it, and as she is part-time Human Resources, she would know better than to spread stories.
In late spring, my other next-door neighbours passed within 4 feet of me in the local mall when I was wearing a skirt (and more, but the more was mostly covered by my jacket); they said "hello" with just a bit of "ummm" to it, so I think they might have noticed the skirt... they haven't treated me any differently if they have. And I've gotten more open about wearing a skirt in the yard, not worrying about if they do see me.
Any number of my co-workers might have seen me in time, and might recognized me while I was fully dressed (it seems I'm easily recognizable), or (more likely) might have seen me while I was "gender-bending". When I go to the local grocery stores in a skirt or dress, anyone might happen to see me, and I don't worry about it (well, not much.) If anyone has seen me out and around, they haven't said anything. And no-one at work has appeared to notice my pantyhose or tights or unusually-coloured knee-highs or femme pants or borderline tops (some more femme than others, but still plausible that a guy might wear it).
If a co-worker were to approach me while I was out Dressed... my reaction would probably depend upon whom it was and how respectful the approach was. If it was yelling my male name across the street, I'd be less than thrilled, because that would be exposing me to those around who might not have noticed me. But if it was a polite call across the street that didn't mention my male name, I might not take it badly. And if it was a close encounter in a mall or something like that (e.g., just happened to pass by each other)... well, it'd come down to respect (including the respect they'd given me in the past.) Some of my co-workers I would trust to respect my dressing even if they didn't understand it; a lot of my co-workers I don't know well enough to know how they would feel; a few of my co-workers I would be inclined to expect would want to try to use it against me. And some... hmm, I think some of them might feel uncomfortable enough about the matter that they might avoid chatting with me after finding out (e.g., the pretty woman who has the best clothing style and the most consistently "feminine" appearance... I'd love talk clothes with her, but somehow I get the impression that she would not think highly of me for knowing I dressed.)
I was at a local bar one halloween and a o-worker stood right next to me for several minutes without recognizing me. I am retired so don't worry about any problems at work, I hide now mostly out of habit.
T,,,,, ohhhhhhh to be retired... what I could do..What did your co- worker say ?
i would own up to bein caught,,,,
my co workers already know i wear pantyhose,,,,
I would wonder what they were doing there! The only places I go are TG-friendly anyway.
The sign of the true extrovert is if they suddenly found themselves stark naked in a public place with only a bowler hat. The introvert would use the hat to cover their private bits. The extrovert would wear the hat!!
I've passed coworkers in the hotel parking lot enfemme and had no problems... Karren and I don't really look a like... And I don't have to try..... When I talk it scares most guys away.... Lol
[SIZE=4]I actually don't know anyone that doesn't know all about me. It solves a lot of potential problems and the people that I interact with just view me with one eyed cocked funny.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=4]As far as men hitting on me, it depends entirely on the situation. Most men are content to be rejected and go on. Those that act like they have the right to my time either get walked away from or put in their place. Sometimes men are just like kids, you have to tell them no over and over before they get it. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]If none of that works, I hand them a business card and tell them to come to my work and discuss what they want. The card I hand them is my Karate Instructor/Sensei card where I teach part/time. That generally makes them think twice. One guy actually did show up at my work and after watching me teach and interact with students for about 10 minutes he slunk out the door, never to be seen again. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=4]I have only had to use my Karate training twice in 30 years of going out, but those are different stories....[/SIZE]
The honest answer is I dont know
We can all speculate if it has never happened to us but you wont know until it happens
I'm like Karen Hutton, I look so dramatically different as Lisa, that even a couple other CD's that I met in male mode didn't have a clue, who I was when we met at a Tri-ess meeting!!
So-o-o, I don't think it would be a problem, unless you were with a bunch (herd? Gaggle? Pride?) of other crossdressers and as a group it drew a bit of undue attention.
In that case though, I think whoever wore the shortest skirt and had the biggest hair or the wildest patterned dress would keep their attention off you!! (Another reason to try to dress so you 'blend in'.)
I'm certain the girl iin the PVC catsuit would draw the most attention!!
Hugs,
Lisa ELizabeth
since i travel to new york city from my home in brooklyn by subway there are always possibilities that i will see someone that i know while sitting in the train.once i saw my son coming home with his friends in the same car and i just looked out the window and they got out at the station before mine.i have also seen people from my area get in and sit down near me but i really dont look like my other self so i am ok ,but as for having someone trying to pick me up once while waiting at the station on 42nd st some guy started to put the make on me and just at that moment my train came in and i quickly got in and sat down.:love:phylisanne
If I ran into someone I knew I would summon my most feminine voice and deny, deny deny. If I guy was hitting on me I would acknowlege his advances, come clean about being a crossdresser, and if he is still intrested just go with the flow.
Hi all,
Was in that situation a few years back, in fact posted here about the experience. Was at the Fisher theater here in Detroit to see Les Meserabes, forgive the spelling. With a TS friend of mine.And seated in the row right behind us was my girlfriend at the time, mother and her two daughters, girlfriend's sisters. I knew them and they knew me. Now I was nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. During intermission we, even stood in line for the ladies room with them and had a conversation about the play. And they didn't have a clue they were talking to my girlfriend's BF. Never heard a word from my GF afterwards. I knew before hand they were going but had no idea where their seats were. When we left at the end of play. I told my TS friend I'm ready for stiff drink, "make it a double single malt scotch on the rocks please."
Huggs, Renee
Renee,
You held up to that situation better than I would. I was a mall one night a couple of years ago and what I thought, but was not, a co-worker came walking towards me. I still remeber the sweat inside my sweater. I hoped I was not turning six shades of red. I did survive.
Joan
If a person I knew "made" me and didn't say anything, I'd just go about my business. If they said something, I'd probably ignore whatever they said and just say "Hi John", or whoever, and try to redirect the conversation into ordinary banter.
If a guy started to pick up on me I suppose I would try to convey that I felt flattered but that I'm in a committed relationship, or a chastity belt, or something.
Awhile back in my lurking days here I read a thread about some of the married girls buying engagement rings to compliment their wedding band. That was a way to show you were commited to your 'hunny' and I thought that was a pretty good idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Avery
If a guy was hitting on me the first thing I would think is this character sure must be desperate and have lousy taste LOL. But I think a ring might discourage the intrusion.
Jen
If discovered by co-worker:
0. When I step outside my door, I am no longer in control of who sees me. I must accept that anyone may pass by me at anytime. So, like a Samurai, I ritually accept that I am *dead* before the *battle* begins, or when I step outside, I am *outing* myself. Any other idea is delusion and a false basis for security.
1. If I am going to be seen/outed, then I am going to be seen/outed. No sense getting upset and presenting myself as a spectacle. Dignity first, and put my best foot forward.
2. I realize I am lucky in that I can choose whom I work with, and avoid employers that overly-conservative, and that I can always find another job quickly if I am "let go". I bow to others not so fortunate, who risk all by going out anyways!
If a guy made a pass at me I would reject the pass without rejecting the person. "Roberta doesn't do sex" is my reply, and I don't drop my voice. If that doesn't restore the conversation to a mutually positive track then I have no idea what I would do. Every case is so different.
:rose: Roberta :rose:
Unless you wear your own hair, IME that's unlikely - most of us look dramatically different? I once spent two hours in a restaurant talking to two women I'd worked with very closely and they didn't make me? People see what they expect to see...Quote:
Originally Posted by TommiTN
As for guys hitting on you, well, that's just a given if you spend any time out, dressed as a girl. Deal with it in exactly the same ways genetic women do - a polite 'sorry, not interested' for starters? (I always find 'I'm married' works pretty well, too.)
Most everyone in my life knows at this point, but for about a year this happened to me fairly often. If confronted I'd yell, "Surprise!" and an interesting conversation would generally ensue. At other times I've passed by folks who did not recognize me and I just let it go. The most important thing to remember is to just act normally and not be ashamed. People take their cues on how they should react largely from your reaction.
Kind oif been there . After my second shot of tequila I walked over and introduced my self , he lied about his name, I accepted the drink he bought me, laughed about him lying about his name with another co worker that was there. She knew me as Niya before she got hired at my jobQuote:
Originally Posted by curse within
I thought that too until I got made by a classmate I had not seen in 12 yearsQuote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
Both of these things have actually happened to me. I was in a bar and I turned around and saw a female co-worker about 2o feet away from me. I saw her look at me too and I nearly has a heart attack! Just as I thought "oh crap now what am I going to do", she turned away and carried on speaking with the people she was with. She didn't even recognized me. Just whispered in my wife Marla's ear and we went to another area of the bar.Quote:
Originally Posted by curse within
The other time I was in another LGBT bar with some TG frinds and my wife came with us. A guy started to "chat me up" and it seemed fairly obvious to me that he was interested. I just smiled and said "I gotta go now, I need to go and speak with my wife and then pointed at Marla who was standing at the bar getting us some drinks". He looked a little confused for a moment and then just smiled and walked away.
If they made me I would just have to say Oh well.:hugs:
Angie
While I would rather not be found out like that, I did not go out until I felt I was ready for that to happen. The "gay" clubs are not "safe" in terms of being found out for me as large swaths of my friends have and on occasion go to drag nights not because they indulge (that I know of) but for the oddity of it.
If I was found out while out, I would just say hi and go about my business. I'm not ashamed of who I am anymore but I don't go around telling anyone either.
As for being hit on , I've been in that boat too. I just told him I wasn't intereseted, but he did not take no for an answer. I did not wanted to be outed at the time and lukily my roommate came to my rescue and told him to leave her date alone. He was a little shocked but I did manage to get out of the situation, though he did look a me the whole time we were at the club.