Do I stay or do I go now?

My wife knows that I've cross dressed in the past, but doesn't know that I still do. We nearly split up when she found out. I love her dearly, but I also love wearing her things (and my own fem wardrobe) when she's not around! I fantasize about sleeping with guy's when I'm glam. I dream about life as a woman, but I enjoy hetro sex almost as much as gay sex!
Surely I can't be the only one in this situation! What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki:daydreaming:

I am married with a toddler, crossdressed fully for a number of years...and I only know, that I know of. Anyways, I am hetro and love sex and can not see myself having homosexual relations...it's repulsive, ok? Don't get me wrong, I do watch reruns of Will & Grace. ;-) But, dressed as a women, then wishing to be a women, I dream of having sex with a male. Go figure.

Nikki, if I were you...stay the course with your wife. You said she is the love of your life, right? Ask yourself this, what would you do w/o her? Lonliness can be a powerful depressent. Maybe you should get a dildo and go from there...(respectfully speaking).

Respectfully, Monica :2c:

well my gf feels like im cheating on her when I dress, and little does she know I feel the need to dress all the time

Cheating is cheating with a guy or a girl, if you love her then stay the course. Why do some people think it is not cheating if it is with the some sex. You have to decide what you want if it is a man then let your wife go. Don't bring any thing SD home she dose not deserve that.

Anna

im not cheating on her, she just feels that my dressing in itself is cheating

Hi Nikki,

Simple answer is that you talk, and sort it out yourselves. But you say you fantazise about gay sex then that you enjoy it. Before you talk I think you need to get yourself ready. Take your time and be open and honest. You may lose her but that may be the right thing in the long run. Good luck.

You have my permission to cheat on your wife. I also give my full support to your wife cutting the brake lines of your car. Remember the universe doesn't care but it never forgets.

Nikki,

I have to agree with Tricia on this. I really think that you need to take some time to really figure out what you want and then sit down with your wife and talk to her about it.

Without a doubt divorce is depressing but the other side of the coin is that if your divorce is friendly then you might still be able to have her in your life. But if you cheat and she finds out then there will be no chance for a friendly divorce and who knows what might come to light that you don't want the world to know if you hurt her by cheating.

good luck

Anna

Cheating is just wrong and you may go to hell for it anyone who cheats deserves to loose what you have . I sorry but I can't be Little Miss nice Angie on this one.And anyone who cheats gets no hug.
Angie

I also agree cheating is cheating no matter who it is with and sometimes when you have feelings like you do I feel you are already cheating because the mind is a powerful thing, sometime's the more you think about it the worse it get's and the more you want it, don't forgot you took vow's and made a commitment to your wife at the start, she must love you for who you were and who you are. I myslef worry when I see married cd'er having these feeling down the road after marriage as I'm getting married in Feb. and hope he/she never changes but then I guess all things change in life but sometimes we lose a lot when we don't think things through and make good choices. I hope you have a good talk with your so and that you come to a happy ending becasue life is to short to give up the good things..chrerrywine

Leave the fantasies as fantasies. Unless your wife give you permission to have sex outside the marriage, then don't.

It's one of the biggest worries wives have. Not cool.

im with angie cheating is soooo fuc&%* lame simply a lack of SELF RESPECT and not to mention lack respect for your partner :spank:

Sorry, cheating is cheating. Man, woman, TG, cat, dog, i don't care - it's cheating.

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

Sorry, cheating is cheating. Man, woman, TG, cat, dog, i don't care - it's cheating.

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My thoughts also

Nothing more. Kim

:rolleyes: always the dang newbies.... If you need to ask us whether or not to cheat on your wife with other men, you seriously need to get a clue... would you like your wife to cheat on you with numerous men from chat sites? :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Tamara Croft

:rolleyes: always the dang newbies.... If you need to ask us whether or not to cheat on your wife with other men, you seriously need to get a clue... would you like your wife to cheat on you with numerous men from chat sites? :rolleyes:

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Or numerous women from chat sites for that matter. Cheating is cheating. Now that being said, I believe that sex is just sex, and if it is mutually agreed upon between spouses that the other may engage is sex with others, then as long as you practice safe sex then I see nothing wrong with it.

You have to realize the value of your wife, vs gay sex. I'm not making judgements here. But if your relationship is strong, she will be there long after your desire for self gratification is gone. You have to be fair to her. You could bring home an std. Have you talked to her about your desire to dress ?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nikkixd

...What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki:daydreaming:

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Sorry Nikki, but you need to fish or cut bait. Your choices are to fully commit yourself to your existing relationship and to solicit wife's support in your cross dressing OR let her go now and be free to pursue whatever relationship(s) you want. Anything else is unfair to you, your wife or both of you.

U need to decide for yourself, what you want to do next.

As a divorced guy, I can only say, u r treading in VERY THIN ICE rite now!
Consider all the consequences before u act on your fantasies!:sad:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nikkixd

My wife knows that I've cross dressed in the past, but doesn't know that I still do. We nearly split up when she found out. I love her dearly, but I also love wearing her things (and my own fem wardrobe) when she's not around! I fantasize about sleeping with guy's when I'm glam. I dream about life as a woman, but I enjoy hetro sex almost as much as gay sex!
Surely I can't be the only one in this situation! What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki:daydreaming:

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Ok I want to tell you that my friend Randy who is DEAD now from a horrible AIDS related illness met guys like you all the time and did not always use condoms. They all got letters from the department of health!!!

I think it is a no brainer. Stop wearing her things first of all. Ahhh.... I would suggest stay true to your wife (you fricking made a commitment after all) and deal with who you truley are. Get some counseling for crying out loud.
Stop your stupid daydreaming and work something out with your wife. If you screw it up you will regret it for a life time. Day dreams do not sustain a life, it is just fantasy. Please get some perspective before it is too late!!!

This is your slap in the face. Wake up to reality. Many of the cd's will tell you that it is not so easy to find an accepting partner and if you think another guy will be intersted in more than sex with you, you really do need some help. I'm telling you this as a friend not a foe. I hope you take the advise.

:hugs:
Kitty

i agree with Anna, having a meet with someone else is crossing the line. No matter what else you would do is minor. Don't screw up your marriage and your life off of what your little brain is telling you.
but please forget the illicit liaisons.

Well, I just told my dog Baron that I had seen the light and our relationship is over. He looked so sad and when he was put out that night, he never came back. My wife found out what I did and now she is mad at me. Now what?

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Originally Posted by Holly

Sorry Nikki, but you need to fish or cut bait. Your choices are to fully commit yourself to your existing relationship and to solicit wife's support in your cross dressing OR let her go now and be free to pursue whatever relationship(s) you want. Anything else is unfair to you, your wife or both of you.

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Glad to see you back, Holly!! :hugs:

:iagree: Even if you do not cheat physically, the fact that you enjoy and fantasize about sex with men while dressed more than having sex with your wife, will be felt by her eventually and it will drive a wedge in your relationship. Please spare her this and choose one or the other.

Where did the idea of cheating being OK come from?Its the pits plain and simple.
You made a pact with your wife live up to it don't be a dick.
My last two wives cheated on me and I can tell you its devistating.
The gay sex thing you describe is just as bad you don't just go out and have sex with anybody sheeze!
I am bi as all here know and I don't engage in"gay" intercourse with my guy its just too dangerous.I know that sounds odd but we agreed on it.
Our relationship is very special and trust is a very big part of it.Don't blow your marriage over a fantasy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nikkixd

What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki:daydreaming:

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Why don't you go ahead and meet up with someone form a chat site, few then explain to your wife how she's go an STD or worse. :Angry3:

What do you want to all to say yes, it's ok to go ahead and do this and cheat? Well I'm sorry but you've come to the wrong place for that.


*EDIT*

It seems you've already done this so why bother asking us. :Angry3: :Angry3:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...97&postcount=1

and people get all high and mighty when SO's can't accept as if it's their problem.

Well said Kitty. :clap:

*groan* I've been doing intro's this morning Sandra so I noticed it right a way.

Here's a partial copy and paste from his intro that says it all....

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Originally Posted by Nikkixd

[...]My wife found out and we nearly divorced, so I'm firmly back in the closet! She wouldn't be to happy if she knew that I've slept with two guy's since then, so that I could experience sex whilst in fem clothing! It was amazing!
It's only recently that I've plucked up the courage to tell all of you this, but I feel driven to explore and experiment more, so watch this space!
lol Nikki:hugs::o

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You've already made your choice so why post here asking? You're looking for permission for something you've already done & group support for lying and cheating on someone who loves you. Honey you give CD's a bad name. :bigsmack:

It's time, past time, to let your wife know so she can get tested and a divorce.

dancin


You're married and if the wife had given permission to have sex outside the marriage you wouldn't be posting this garbage here.

So if you can get dressed and pretend to be a woman, you can get dressed pretend to be a woman and pretend to have sex with a pretend man. Get a dildo -- idiot.

:clap::clap::clap::clap:
Ladies, I think you have said it all!!!!!!
Tina B.
Don't make your wife a victim, it just aint' right!

Nikki i must agree with everyone here, what you have already done has shown what type of person you are. Sounds like you already cheated on your wife and are now looking for acceptance from the group. I'm sorry dear but that's not going to happen. What you have already done has jeopardized your health, your wife's health and your marriage. If she is truly the love of your life, then why would you do that to her? The best advice i can give you is to honest with your wife and, tell her the truth. Then take some time to figure yourself out, come to terms with what YOU want. But please stop these foolish games with your wife and yourself, your only causing pain and hurt.

I cant get my head around this one.
I only married a year ago (8th sept) and the vows i said i meant. i would never cheat on my wife and if you love yours as much as you say (and should) then you wouldnt even think about actually doing it.

a fantasy is a fantasy (clues in the name) we all have them it's part of being human.
i have them and i know my wife will to. i know she wont try to live them out and she knows i wont either.

You need to have a long hard think about what you want from life. that way no one will get badly hurt. cheeting will hurt your wife so much and if you do love her as you say you wouldnt want her to hurt like that.
get a grip and think about what you said in this post.

nicole xx

Everyone else is right and you,re wrong!!!!!
Either commit yourself to your wife or leave the relationship!!!
The way your doing it now is completely unfair to her!!!

What on earth makes you think you have the right to take risks with your wife's health just to scratch an itch you have. That is so low life and scummy.

Behaviour like yours does no favours to the cd/tg worlds reputation. So your wife realises what a scumbag you are and gets out and negative comments about cd ers start.

You deserve no more than the misery that will eventually come your way. What comes around goes around.

I hope your wife has the good sense to get out!

I'm no man hater but your behaviour sucks unbelievably.

You fool!

im with you on that sarah's lover, this thread has really got under my skin!!

I have to say, I think this thread has gone on long enough and to the OP (first post), you should be ashamed of yourself, coming to this forum for advice like this, when you've already done it. I feel sorry for your wife, having you for a husband :Angry3:

Thread done!!