Are you jealous?

Do you get jealous when you see another crossdresser looking better than you? Do you make snide remarks to your computer screen in the picture section when you see those beautiful ladies? Do you snub beautiful women you see in public?

Why am I asking? Well, I find some comments made here on forums rather interesting. See, personally, I'm not of a competitive nature and always appreciate true beauty both in and out. What baffles me is when any individual makes a comment like those suggested above because I can't help but wonder... is that how THEY feel? When they say a GG's threatened by someone else's beauty, is it because they feel threatened by that same beauty themselves? I'm just curious because thoughts like that never come to my mind and I wouldn't think it true for most... but that could be because I'm projecting my own feelings. I wonder if that's what happens here?

I confess that I do feel initially jealous when I see a CD who looks gorgeous (I am a competitive guy who values those traits admired by the superficial male, after all). But I am jealous as an artist. Other artists here may understand this. When you see technical achievement that surpasses your capabilities, you feel an odd mix of jealousy, then admiration, then inspiration to do better next time.

So when I see someone who crossdresses more effectively than me, the bottom line is that I admire the technical achievement, then work hard to be better at my "craft" as a result. I certainly compliment the person when I see this achievement, and never ridicule or otherwise downplay excellence. That is a rather pathetic response and one that does not even occur to me, though I am aware this is a kneejerk reaction by the less sophisticated among us. Indeed, I've known women who make snide remarks about other women they perceive as more attractive. And if I happen to be present when this occurs, it is in my self interest to keep my mouth shut :)

Jeolous? It depends on how one uses the word. Certainly I strongly envy some people. I sometimes wish I looked that good or could afford that outfit. But I don't think nasty thoughts let alone say anything nasty out loud to my cat or the screen :) . It's an 'I really wish I were looking that good too' not a 'how dare you look better than me you *****' sort of jeolousy.

Sometimes people who look good are also in a lot of pain...

I could care less. Unless she wants a date :)

I'm not jealous, usually more depressed by it. I certainly never wish anyone harm because of it. Some people were just born with feminine features and natural beauty and seeing them makes me feel like I missed out on something.

I can honestly say that I am not jealous. I am envious sometimes, but not jealous.

But I have also picked up on comments made, that seem to carry more weight than just answering a question or commenting on a fact or situation. I am new here and I have not had many posts partially because I don't want to come off that way.

I am also curious.. Do the CDers that post answer how they think or feel, or how they think or feel a "Female" should post?

DD, I read your posts more than most because I feel your opinions and comments seem more objective to me.
Don't know why.

I love seeing MTF here who look just terrific. Why? Simple. If they can then I know there is hope for the rest of us. I look at how they have accomplished their success and wonder how I can do something similar.

Keep looking great all of you!!!!!

tina

Sometimes, but I try to use it as motivation to improve myself.

I give the beautiful ones a lot of credit ( yourself included sweet thing) and wish them well. Yes I am envious and wish i could look that good but am not jealous. We all have our own God given looks ablity with makeup, body frame, heigh,t weight, deportment and just like you real gg's no two can be alike. There are thousnds or fat , pimple faced young women to old wrinkled ladies who wished they were a top modesl or looked like a beautifu; actress or magazine centerfolds... but, it just wasn't meant to be.
Now that Kayla of yours... shes something else:love:( so are you sweetie)

Megan

i honesty don't think I am (or would be) jealous.

Reality is there are lots of far more beautiful CDs just as there are better looking guys too. I can accept that. and once i do I can turn around and admire other really nice looking CDs. It sometimes is a source of inspiration.

I feel a little jealous how good some here look in femme but that just makes me try harder.I'm not competetive in nature just observant.
Peoples opinions vary and thats OK.

I hope it's OK for GGs to answer this. The concept that we feel threatened by beautiful CDs or other GGs and scorn or laugh at them as the result baffles me too.

Personally, I feel a twinge of envy, then admiration when I see a woman who has all the attributes I would like to have. Likes or dislikes only come into play once I get to know her. It has nothing to do with her looks.

Good thread! :hugs:

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Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter

Do you get jealous when you see another crossdresser looking better than you?

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Maybe a little, from time to time, but not generally. At our last club meeting, I told one of our members that I was "totally jealous" of her white jacket. I think she's about 8 sizes smaller than I am, and the jacket looked really good on her. But like Batty, probably the more proper word would have been "envious" rather than jealous.

A couple of nights ago I was shopping for Tess, in looking at the dresses and gowns. One store had an especially pretty glittery cocktail gown, very thin shoulder straps, and I think the largest size they had for it was size 8 (as it didn't look like it had any stretch at all, I might have needed 18, possibly 16.) And I was looking over at the gowns and sighing from the knowledge that probably the last time I fit into something that size was when I was about 13 years old, and knowing that that design would look blecherous on someone my current size and shape. A sigh not for "what might have been": rather, a sigh over what never could have been. And the funny thing about all of this was that it wasn't a colour and bling combination that I would actually wear: I liked to look at it but I knew it wasn't "my" colours or style. But sigh I did, for never even having the chance. Some might call this "jealousy".

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Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter

Do you make snide remarks to your computer screen in the picture section when you see those beautiful ladies? Do you snub beautiful women you see in public?

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To that I can answer, "NO" and "NO".

Mostly I don't look at the pictures here, except sometimes to get an idea of what someone looks like, or if a particular picture thread summary catches my eye. A lot of the time it is too easy for me to see the "guy" in the picture, and when I don't, I tend to think some mental congratulations, not jealousy or envy. Or if I am envious, it is not of their appearance but of their success. Not "I wish I could look like that" but "I wish I could look that good (in my own way)".

But it's hard to sustain much emotion on the topic when I could look better or move better or develop a femme voice if I bothered: and I know well that I don't bother to try much. I don't read any fashion magazines, I own "Making Faces" and haven't looked at it for years, I ignore most of the online shopping sites unless I am researching something particular. About the only thing I put "effort" into is going out to different clothing stores and looking at the tops, blouses, and dresses, and being a bit experimental in what I am willing to try on: there has been more than one thing that I have tried on "on a lark", "just to get an idea of what it looks like" that I have found looked fairly good on me. (Like a red silk blouse the other night: I don't buy much red at all, but turned out to be a good match for me. But it was $138 and I didn't love it that much!)

When I see some of the people here, I don't feel jealous, I stand in awe. Life's too short to be catty.

Katrina

Envious would be a better word to describe how I feel, but not in a nasty way. I am really happy for someone who can make themselves look so good, & I think it's good of them to show us how nice/convincing they look. I just wish I could do the same. It's probably the same feeling I get when I see a gg wearing nice clothes, & wish I could wear the same things all the time. At least I can wear them some of the time.

I naver get Jealous I just think how lucky thay are to look so good even it I don't. Just as real GG's we all can't be beautiful.:hugs:
Angie

No I dont make negative remarks or ignore a person because of theyre looks . Envious perhaps for a short time ....but to me true beauty is kindness and understanding . I personally try my hardest to be kind , keep an open mind forgive rather than fight and no matter what always try to listen . After all the healing touch of a persons hand and warm nature is far stronger than a scornful tongue.I,ve had a few remarks on my looks ( enfemme ) in a positive manner , but I,ve got to be honest in my male mode I,m very uncertain and insecure on my projection and looks, therefore I can relate on how hurtful some comments can be .


As a young man in hospital , I awoke from surgery to find my nurse to be horribly disfigured and scarred by a burning accident as a child, at first I simply couldnt look at her . I nearly cried later when we spoke , she was so kind it wasnt true . Indeed I felt warmth for her - not pity , and even tho I was only just 18 I realised she was one of most sincere people I ever had met . She was beautiful .
Real beauty comes from within.

Good thread .

I can't say I'd be jealous in that situation... more likely I would be in admiration and a sense of celebration for them in that, from my perspective as an observer, they would appear to be able to project and/or simply be the person externally that they know they are internally.

I know I have certain goals for myself within the context of this area of my being, but they can only be obtained by working on my sense of self, my relationship with my wife, and other personal balancing acts and not through broad comparisons to others who are in similar situations as mine.

.. it's easier to more correctly measure one's growth if it's done by one's own ruler...

:)
jenn

Nope. Not me. Now that I've finally accepted who I am completely I've no time to be jealous - too busy being one of the world's happy people!

I've always had a difficulty with being competitive, always run a mile (slowly!) whenever the prospect of some form of competition reared it's head!!

Sarah...

Jealous, no. Envious, yes. Worried about ,not. I am what I am and will always accept that there are better looking people out there. Of course they are a lot younger.

No jealousy here either. When I see a gorgeous knockout cd/ts I appreciate her looks and hope the personality is just as good, because after your look, that's what really counts.

Everyone is born w/ a different shape and look, we don't allways get what we want but that's no reason to be jealous of someone else. I doubt that I could pass facialy as a fem (maybe w/ the right direction get 70-80%) but I envy a pretty cd face, which is very different from being jealous of her.

In reality, most everyone, no matter how perfect looking they are still wants to change some things about themselves and aren't 100% happy. My philosephy-(spell check,lol) is just like yourself the way you are, and enjoy life, its to short for petty nitpicking and attitudes towards others.

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Originally Posted by Sarah...

Nope. Not me. Now that I've finally accepted who I am completely I've no time to be jealous - too busy being one of the world's happy people!

I've always had a difficulty with being competitive, always run a mile (slowly!) whenever the prospect of some form of competition reared it's head!!

Sarah...

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Good point Sarah. I think Jealousy only rears its ugly head when people aren't happy with who they are. Once you accept who you are and what you look like it gives you the liberty to enjoy other peoples best attributes without feeling threatened, and like a lot of you have pointed out encourages you to try something new.
Bev

Envy is definately the better word for me, and then admiration. I once was in a fast food place and I got a good look at the server's eyelashes and they were so perfect looking I almost blurted out " HOW do you get them to look like that?" Wish I had now, Carol.

I've never felt jealous of someone else, because of their looks. I do notice that they are pretty though, but I see this both in CD'rs and women. Sometimes I wish that I had more time to dress and experiment, but that is another story.

I had to chuckle to myself when I read this DD as I have been thinking along the same lines. I was thinking about putting up a thread to address this. It can be quite a fragile image that some have of themself but to be jealous or feel threatened by someone else is just plain nutty. The image is bogus for the most part to begin with and a lot depends on our own values and own self worth. If one is comfortable with one's self, there should be no such feelings as someone is always going to look nicer or better in a physical sense maybe but the true worth and value of a person lies inside and within the heart. I, personally, am glad when I see a good looking person, whether a CD, GG or otherwise and am happy for them.

In all reality true femininity is not about appearance at all but rather about sharing and caring of family, friends and loved ones. If we learn that lesson we would be much better off in my opinion. Physical beauty is nice but it's the person that makes all the difference. Once we realize that, we have a better understanding of what life is really all about.:)

[SIZE=4]Typically I believe I become more "technically intuitive" than jealous. (Sometimes it feels identical to going to a car show and seeing some perfect hotrod) My definition of jealousy came from a Playboy article years ago when I thought I felt "jealous" that my ex was dating. The article indicated that jealousy was a "fear of not being able to do something as well as the other person" . In my case I realized I wasn't jealous, just mad that someone else wanted my ex. (To this day I wonder what I was thinking then, she is on her 5th husband now...)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]When I see a stunning GG or CD I immediately break down her look into the technical pieces that make it up, simply because that is what I do. I admire the level of work or technique that went into getting them to the point that they are and how they did it. It helps me and my clients look better if I can figure out how they did something.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]I will be the first to talk to such a stunning creature simply because in most cases they are as fearful as the rest of us about their fleeting beauty. A lot of the really gorgeous CDs still feel that they are barely passing and are also looking at others to figure out what they can do to appear or feel better next time. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]I do remember the words of the most beautiful GG I ever met once in an upper scale lounge years ago. She spotted me as she entered the room and made a beeline to my table. She asked if she could join me and sat before I could utter a word, so enthralled with her appearance that I was lust-stricken immediately. She said that she always liked to meet her "competition" for the night, and after finding out I was a CD she sat and we talked all night, much to the chagrin of 99% of the males in the room.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]My point is (if I can still think straight) is that all of us have some fear of not being good enough and we certify that by thinking we see someone who is better. In reality, we are all beautiful, each in our own way. So, just sit back back and do what most GGs that I work with do daily and go "Damn" and move on....[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]That's my take on it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Tami[/SIZE]

Jealous no. Envious yes. Happy with myself? Without a doubt. Wish I looked better? Certainly. This is an interesting thread and gives you a chance to really think about yourself and how you view others.

I get jealous (more envious actually) when any beautiful woman passes in front of my eyes. I don't think I've ever felt "catty" though. I've only felt remorse that I wasn't born with some feature or features that the woman has.

And Tamara, the "meeting the 'competition'" thing is AWESOME!

Jealous? Gosh no!

Good looking people make me happy! And so do good hearted people...

I'm one to run to the flames of beauty, not back away from them. Well..except men! Being a somewhat "eccentric" looking male person myself makes me wary of good looking men, for I find they are often arrogant, shallow and self absorbed.

There seems to be a better bond between intelligent women, no matter how they look, than between really handsome men and anybody else. And I like that "solidarity" thing a lot more than the competition thing.

As we've heard mentioned in several other threads, it's almost an imperative for me to compliment the outstanding features presented by another woman (born that way or not), nails or makeup or clothes or whatever. And I often do it as "what's his name", which leads to some funny looks sometimes.

I revel in good looks and good sense and good attitude.

Hi DD!
Personally, I don't seem to fit either catagory. I see beauty and think "wow, I sure am glad I got that chance to see that!" As for looking better, it is much more about the feeling rather than the "looks". Don't get me wrong, I like to look nice. It's just a fact that I look like a man in a dress. I have told Jean before that I am sorry that she has to look at me.:heehee: I just have to feel it!

sometimes. i have to say yes. but it's because at one time i was feeling good about myself and after last years hell i went through and the change of drugs i was on the weight gain i hate myself for what has happened so yes i do get jealous and if i say bitch then it was in amazement and respect but i wont be saying that word anymore so for the few i said that too i am sorry

Sounds like the majority of you deny feeling anything that resembles jealousy to the point that you make rude remarks or hurtful comments to the "more beautiful" sister.


so why do many on her assume that GG's feel/act that way? we have so many other things to worry about in our lives, that how we look (and how someone else looks) is often not even an issue.

We are all unique and different and have to play the cards we are delt. Even the "beautiful people" have to continually work at being the best they can be. Take pleasure in the positive in our lives, downplay the negative, and enjoy every moment of life.

Thank you all for the replies. :) I posted this thread because I saw another in which several statements have been made (and I've seen them in more than one thread) that state the GGs in the OP were "jealous" or "threatened" and I thought how strange that sounded.

Personally, I'm excited for anyone that can achieve a level of beauty (be it inward or otherwise) that they are happy with. I find most people "become" beautiful once you get to know them.

But those comments about a few mean GGs being threatened... all I could think of was, "we are no more threatened by a cders beauty than cders are of ours". Envious? Oh definitely, but threatened? Jealous? Not me. I'm sure some might be but I always assume its because they are not at a level of being happy with themselves.

I was just curious if this was something in the cd community that occurred often. Like I said, being I don't think that way, I never assume another does and was curious. :)

:hugs: to all that can find their own level of beauty! May your outside shine from the inside. :love:

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Originally Posted by DeSkirt

I am also curious.. Do the CDers that post answer how they think or feel, or how they think or feel a "Female" should post?

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You know, I sometimes get that feeling as well. Its like some people attribute specific aspects of personality as strictly "female" when in truth, there are only a limited number of personalities and NONE of them are strictly assigned to one gender. Funny how people think at times. :)

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Originally Posted by Arianna Daniels

I had to chuckle to myself when I read this DD as I have been thinking along the same lines...

In all reality true femininity is not about appearance at all but rather about sharing and caring of family, friends and loved ones..

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I JUST asked Kayla the other night, if what many cders long for might be the amazing closeness that females can express but society feels men shouldn't. Sort of like how everyone attributed Frodo and Sam in Lord of the Rings as being gay because they genuinely loved each other. It seems so sad that society would shun such a beautiful thing. I think we sort of associate that closeness as a strictly "female" thing and it is a shame.

I wouldn't say I am jealous. Being jealous is a very shallow emotion that serves no purpose. I dress for me only. I don't leave the house dressed, so what other people think is not an issue. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, and I'm always trying to perfect my female look. Some of us have more to work with than others and just plain look better. I have seen CD's on here that are natural beauties. I think that is great for them!

Sometimes I think I would like to have a smaller build and softer features, but then reality sets back in and I realize being a man my size has it's advantages. I spend most of my time as a man. When I CD I take what I have to work with and make the most of it. I am satisfied with my female look and applaud those who look better.

No jealousy here, quite the opposite. I admire those who can really pull it off but those I admire most are the ones who get out and do things like shopping or going for walks and exploring life as best they can as a woman. For them looks have nothing to do with it and everything about who they are inside.

Now you want to talk about jealousy....you should see my wife and I go though fashion magazines and catalogues. Meow meow....It's all in fun of course but we are both envious of all the curves in the proper places...:daydreaming:... not to mention wishing we were in our 20's again...:heehee:

I am envious of ladies with better figures and faces than I. What always get me is when I'm shopping. The clothes for sizes 0-14 are soo cute. Even the sizes 14-16 are pretty. You jump into the women's sizes and its like the designers gave up! 90% of the women's size clothes are really tough to look good in. No wonder those gals (like me) have self image issues. Its not the size and shape but the colors and textures available are so dumpy (for lack a better word). That does make me jealous and envious. It is very difficult to look good (not dumpy) when the selection is soo awfully poor. I shop with my wife and always make her look at cute stuuf that she passes by. Her self image is slightly negative and she often reinforces that by selecting clothes that don't build her up. Sorry I am wandering off topic. I'll sign off here

Hugs Edyta

i'll be honest, i sometimes do get jealous or envious of people prettier than me en femme. but then i stop, take a minute, and realign myself. i decide to be happy for that person rather than jealous. and then i usually ask for advice :)

I thought I would clarify my first post. I have known people who look very good...but they have lots going on beneath the surface. Some celebrities considered the most attractive are not happy people. So being jealous doesn't make much sense. Trading palaces with someone would not likely make you happy.

Real excellence in anything is to be admired. When I hear Allison Krauss sing or see a Ferrari I am happy that such beauty even exists in the world...

I don,t feel jealous, i feel inspired to try and do better myself.

Some of the girls [and GGs] on here are truly beautiful and i find them to be a great inspiration on the path to trying to achieve the same thing for myself.
I enjoy looking at the way they,ve done their makeup, the style of their wigs [or own hair]. the whole feminine presentation they show and then i see if i can achieve the same things by experimenting on my own look.

I find that by learning from others, we can sometimes improve ourselves!!

It is ok to feel jealous, by the way. It is a natural response for many people. It is how one acts upon jealousy that is at issue. I am not ashamed to say that on occasion I am jealous of someone. Envy is also often described as a pathetic emotion, but it is a natural one. Emotions are what they are because they arise from the primal base. It is silly to rationally analyze them beyond their biological origins and behavioral consequences.

Again, it is how one acts upon emotions that help describe the character of a human being. No emotion is good or bad (or "catty"), it is the action one choses to use to express emotion that should be evaluated as good or bad.

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Originally Posted by ggtracy

so why do many on here assume that GG's feel/act that way? we have so many other things to worry about in our lives, that how we look (and how someone else looks) is often not even an issue.

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I hope that the majority of people who come to this site read this thread, maybe then when they post they will no longer include the statements that infer GG's must be jealous, when we, for the most part could care less.

I often thought that men, including men whom crossdress, often see just the physical outward appearance and therefore assume the gg's see the same.

I want to thank Arianna Daniels for some true insight into what we are about.

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Originally Posted by Arianna Daniels

In all reality true femininity is not about appearance at all but rather about sharing and caring of family, friends and loved ones..

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and lastly I feel the same as

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Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter

But those comments about a few mean GGs being threatened... all I could think of was, "we are no more threatened by a cders beauty than cders are of ours". Envious? Oh definitely, but threatened? Jealous? Not me. I'm sure some might be but I always assume its because they are not at a level of being happy with themselves.

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only I don't think I'm even Envious, I can say 'wow' someone may look really good, but it sort of stops there.

When I see a beautiful CD or woman, I think there is a great looking person. If I am in a club or place where it won't look like I am trying to pick them up, I will tell the person that they look great. Jealous, never. More happy for them in that they are hitting the look that they are trying for. I am eyeing them for hints to help me get some of that same look.

Nope... not at all.... I try to look the best I can and hey.... that's all I can do... being jeleous of someone is wasted effort and I don't really have time for that anyway.....

jealous no,envious yes,for they are so blessed to be so beautiful.

I can't say I'm jealous because acquiring someone else's looks is impossible so you might as well wish for the moon. On the other hand, sometimes when I see an attractive GG that has the physical traits I like, I do wish that I could look like her as a CD.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I hope it's OK for GGs to answer this......

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I always enjoy hearing from GG's on any subject here! All of our inputs are equal.


Thanks for this thread. This is a subject, I've been wanting to express my feelings on for a while.

Jealousy? I don't know if you would call it that, but sometimes I do feel a little sadness inside when I see a picture of a CD with a pretty female face, knowing that I can't look that feminine.

I have no desire to say anything negative to them about it. I always enjoy complimenting them on how nice they look and how close to the surface their inner feminine must be.

I wish I didn't feel sad about that (and most of the time I don't), because I really want to accept myself just as I am. I guess those feelings just let me know that I still have a long way to go, and you know what - that's OK too.

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Originally Posted by Kate Lynn

jealous no,envious yes,for they are so blessed to be so beautiful.

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I would agree with this - we probably use the wrong words soemtimes to express ourselves. I get very envious to the point of jealousy when I see some of you looking for stunning. I can get the look right but being 6'6'' means little change of passing and this is a problem for me, hence the jealousy/envy over all those who can blend in better.

Sam

It is for me! It may come back to how we think of ourselves, ( or thot of ourselves), as males!

I've always thot I was an ugly ducking as a guy. When I saw, ( see), an attractive man, I think he's lucky because he'll get the women he wants!

When I see an attractive woman, or a an exceptionally convincing and attractive CD, (other than lustful thots), I try to figure out what makes them look so good.

As Sherry, I'm so thrilled and greatful to NOT appear as an ugly duckling, I can easily overlook the contrivances I use to create her!

For a homely guy, to be an attractive woman, is like a dream come true!:D


I warned u this mite be a bit complicated!:eek: