It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.
I am confused.
Sometimes I feel I want to be female but I am not turned on by the male body.
????
I just love the look and feel of the female body on me.
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It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.
I am confused.
Sometimes I feel I want to be female but I am not turned on by the male body.
????
I just love the look and feel of the female body on me.
It's completely natural to feel confused. I think you'll find most CD's are heterosexual and in no way interested in sex with men. I am not attracted to men at all, but still dress. Everyone is different though, but if you're not attracted to men, then you're simply not attracted to men and should not be worried. Crossdressing and Heterosexuality are not mutually exclusive.
Me too theres nothing wrong with you,you just love to dress and look as good as you can.I'm totally hetrosexual,but i just feel right getting dressed as a woman,from clothes to makeup,shoes and wig.Then i also love being a man,don't be confused just enjoy our gift.
Nikki
I can spend hrs showering, cleaning my face, attaching my breast forms, corset, hose, shaving, makeup, hair, mascara, earrings, neckless, jewlery and I have just started to use womens perfume (female-fermones).
Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)
Darlene
Easy to understand if you accept the premise:
Gender presentation is not connected to sexual preference.
How we prefer to dress and what we wear does not dictate who we desire to have sexual relationships with.
A SuperHero Macho Male presenatation doesnt mean "hetro" .. actually doesnt mean Gay either ... just means it how someone presents.
SuperCamp girly guy doesnt mean Gay .. or straight or bi ...
as for me ... spending 80% of my time en femme doesn't mean I dont like the way my bits work or that I would rather "be" a woman .. just means I like to present as feminine to the world.
So, relax and enjoy who you are.
Relax and enjoy your sexuality.
:)
A lot of people have asked me why i don't fancy guys due to the fact that i dress like a woman and i always tell them that just because i choose to wear women's clothes doesn't automatically mean that i've suddenly turned off my feelings for women and that i'm going to get cozy with a man
That is the misconception that many people have and it is one that is never likely to go away.
They never once think that girls can be lesbians.
As far as i'm concerned, i'm a straight man who wants to become a lesbian woman.
Of COURSE. Liking the LOOK of a wonan's body is a Hetrosexual guy thing. Its a wonder more guys dont CD (perhaps more do than we think)
The BIG mystery is why SOME GAY guys CD, as they are interested sexually in MEN and "manly" things Apparently CDing for a Gay and a Hetro are based on different motivations and desires.
That assocoation with "Gay" and CD arises from school kid stories when we were told by a equally ignorant peer or an adult afraid to say too much that a "Homosexual" was a guy who thought he was (or wanted to be) a woman.
Somehow the true definition--a guy sexually attracted to other guys got lost--or at least relagated to "something else gays do" status in the minds of most people who never bothered to look up "homosexual" in a dictionary or other relyable source.---And kept beleiving the kid's definition even into adulthood.
I agree with Mirani. Just as driving a big 4 X 4 pickup truck doesn't raise my testosterone levels, neither does painting my toenails or wearing panties lower it. Those are just socially assigned indicators for gender that are often confused with biological sex.
Not a big mystery at all .. unless of course we stereotype.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marina Twelve
If only we would see people as individuals with differring values / choices / options / desires / hopes / expectations / fantasies / circumstances / backgrounds / opportunities / responsibilities / etc, then we wouldn't keep giving people attributes that they don't give themselves.
I also believe it is completely natural to have the feelings your having. What I know and what I have researched up to this point is that most crossdressers are heterosexual. For what ever reason we enjoy all the feminine things that woman do. This does not mean we have to like men, or want to be with men. Some of us do and most of us do not. I know when I get all dressed up as Trisha I do not want to be with a man, I do not find the male body attractive at all. Now the female body on the other hand, that is a different story. giggles.
The best advice I can give you is to enjoy your girly time, be who you are, and remember that just because you dress up as a female doesnt mean that you have to be attracted to men.
trisha
Wow, contagious it is. I feel exactly the same way.......luckily for my wife lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darlene Dippy
And what you may find is that it is not necessarily the female that you are attracted to, it's the feminine.
Hence the guilt of being attracted to trans women, despite the fact that you know that they may be or started out as biological males.
The attraction to the feminine is for me a big part of why I dress. It's not a desire to attract anybody, per se, but a desire to become closer to that which I admire...
(Much the way that non-athletically inclined couch potatoes emulate their sporting heroes by wearing their favorite player's jersey, maybe! To get closer to that which they know they cannot ever really be... )
Your cool hun most of us have these feelings it's normal.:hugs:
Angie
Im heterosexual. Dressing up actually makes me feel closer to women. It's hard to explain, I guess I just want to be one of the girls and enjoy the fun things they get to do and wear.
What you like to wear doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. WOmen wear male clothes all the time, the still like men.
I'm with you all! Love dressing as a woman but not attracted to men.
I know a lot gay men, and crossdressing so totally not their thing!
I believe that it's more of a straight guy's thing to do. But of course, everybody's different and it really is just a personal preference. I never really understood why so many people automatically assume that all crossdressers are gay - not that it doens't happen, its just not as common.
Too true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer Devine
I'm straight & may not fully understand the female side of me yet, but I do know that she's a lesbian.
Very good point Deja.Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
There are so many ying/yang hurdles such as this to find a comfort zone with.
I personally know where I sit with this one, see above, but still have a few more I need to find my happy place with.
So I guess all I'm saying is just take them as they come and you will find the answer you are looking for.
And being here and having a sounding board to discuss things like this is already a big help.
I'm attracted to women more for their beauty, and feminity. Its not really a sexual thing. Its more respect. I'm still looking for the right woman oneday to fully accept me, but I'm quite happy being who I am, and dressing alone, or with a lady friend up the road, but in no means are we together as partners.
I have found though in recent years that I've been attracted to some males. This maybe because my feminine side has grown stronger. I've had some flings with men, but I still prefer women though, but like I said, its more a envy-ness I have with women.
We r just doing what we r supposed to! And taking it up a notch or two!:heehee:
Personally, if I see any sign of a man, (Robert), when I'm dressing, it ruins the image for me! And is a big turn off! I guess I'm straight after all?:eek:
How very clever! Me, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darlene Dippy
I would suggest that about 80% of us on here are men that love dressing in ladies clothes and are not one bit attracted to males. Love dressing up and I love being with women.
Janet
You are all absolutely correct. We love women and we love the clothes of women. One time I was sitting at a table with a gay couple a lesbian couple and me. Somehow we got talking about crossdressing and both gay men said they never had the urge to do that. I found that very interesting.
Trisha
I totally agree with this statement very well put , Like seeing a white male wearing a Bush jersey he doesn't really want to be Bush or does he? Im thinking he admires him for his skills as I do women in the attraction I get from them. You see every CD has a certain style in which they dress, most love being exposed in lingerie because it is what they admire.Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
In a message elsewhere around here I told of how I saw CDing as a what I'll say is a hyper-romantic love of women, a love that is so deep that it goes beyond the need for companionship, but a worship, a desire to emulate them. Okay, that's the 5 cent psychological stuff. The real deal is, hey, you're normal, so enjoy!
That said, though, obviously it doesn't explain why you have gay CDers too. But then, I can't explain why some people like yucky stuff like liver, even though I like haggis! :)
But - seriously, I'll put this to you, my wife adores my CDing. Does that means she's a lesbian? No! After I told her about my CDing, I told her that I was totally turned on by GGs wearing men's briefs and jockstraps - which she has agreed to during our 'fun' time. Does this mean I like guys? Not on your life! Has all of it lead to great pleasure for both of us. Most totally!
again -- all I can say is -- Enjoy!
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
OK.. I think I'll be the first one on this post to state that when I dress and bring 'Claudia' to life, she does have feelings toward the opposite sex(men). I have never acted on them or anything but I do think about how fem it would feel to flirt with a male or accept a drink from him..etc..
However, I enjoy my hetro boy side who has a wonderful accepting girlfriend. It is only when I dress that I would get those 'other' feelings.
As you can see from the earlier posts, you are far from alone in this. The way you describe yourself could almost be the definition of a heterosexual cross dresser. It certainly is for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by prene
Damn Darlene, i think you,ve started an epidemic :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Darlene Dippy
I also love to dress in women's clothing but have no interest in men. I'm not even curios. The fact that I feel this way makes it easy to understand why a women wouldn't be turned on by the sight of me dressed. I wish my wife was turned on by my dressing, but I understand why she isn't. This makes the dressing a private matter for me.
DeSkirt
Ok, genetically I'm a guy. I know all about guys and guy stuff. I love women (well, actually one woman, to be specific) and all that guy stuff is pretty...well...boring at best and disgusting at its worst.
Given that, I see it as totally consistent that I want to understand more of what it is to be a woman. I enjoy how women think and act (usually...there are exceptions). So, after spending all this time learning how to project a feminine persona, with all that it entails, my interest is still the female gender. Totally consistent :).
Also, let's not forget that this "hobby" as Karen puts it, is something I share completely with my wife, making us closer, giving us more time together, and giving us the focus to talk about how she thinks and acts, helping Tina do the same thing. I clearly understand her so much better since Tina appeared!
:)
tina
I have no rules on this. I'm flattered if any gender flirts with me, whether I'm dressed more/all/male/female. If I see the beauty in someone, that's enough, but my heart belongs to only one.
When alone I may fantazize about being with a man, what it would feel like. Being dressed increases my sexual desires to some degree but I wouldn't act on them. :battingeyelashes:
You're not alone with those feelings. I love to dress too. I love the way I look when I'm dressed. I love the way the clothes feel on my body. I could go on about all the great things I feel when I'm dressed but it's all been said before.
I was confused for many years but I have learned to accept the fact that I love women and have never been attracted to men sexually. Even though dressing enhances the feminine side of my life I have never had any desire to be a girl.
You are no different than a lot of the people on this forum. Many of us just love to dress for the pure pleasure of it but still love and cherish females as only men can. :2c:
Hi Prene, me too I feel I want to be female but I am only turned on by the female body.
Love the look of the female body and feel like one when I wear dress and heels..
All these definitions are really making me even more confused.
You sound just like me. I was in denial about being a crossdresser until the last few months, and I finally went out in public en femme for the first time at SCC!! After getting in touch with my femme persona, I enjoy being my male self like I never have before, and I have a lot more fun talking to and flirting with women as well when I'm en drab!! ( I get a thrill out of making them laugh when I'm talking to them!) :daydreaming: I used to regard myself as some kind of freak, but NO MORE, I now realize that there are many more out there like me!! It's a rare gift that not many have, I will continue to enjoy going out en femme, and the inner healing that I experienced at SCC is something I've never had before!! I love getting "dolled up" and going out with other TG friends, but I'm a 100% heterosexual male at the same time! Another couple of side effects: 1) It's given me a whole new appreciation when I see a woman with a freshly shaved pair of legs, and 2) I will never again get frustrated when a woman I'm dating needs "just a few more minutes" to get ready!:love:
Err ... of course ... why wouldn't you be? Sexual preference has very little to do with gender expression. Ok some people like the whole "bi when dressed thing" but please don't be confused, just be happy that you are very "normal" (whatever that means) :)Quote:
Originally Posted by prene
I am also only attracted to women. I have no desire to be with a man.
This is probably the closest to why I dress. I love the female form, especially a certain part of the female form. So, I try to emulate that which I admire and adore.Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a woman and being with women. I love my wife, love sex, but love being a woman. :)
Monica
its amazing how different i can be when en-fem
not like i want to be with just men when I'm Jessica
I have just always loved the soft silky feel of a women
I've dreamed of being with men at times but i just think back that being brought up as a male there is so much i dislike about the way the majority of men act, look, feel, smell, sound.
i don't think i will ever be with just men,therefor i am a trans-lesbian
When I dress I do get closer to my feminine side whick I love but tend to be rather feminine in guy mode.Don't know why exactly.
I adore women for the most part and find them sexualy arousing.I flirt with lots of women in guy mode but don't flirt in a sexual way.
My SO is OK with me flirting with girls he dosen't feel threatened by it at all.I don't do it around him that would be wrong.As far as being attracted to men not really just Glenn for his personality and demeanor.He is very manly as far as looks but is hopelessly gay.
He is the first guy I had a relationship with in a Bi sense, no gay sex is my rule and we feel no need to engage in it.
He dosen't understand my need to feel my feminine side or to do the CD thing but has no problem with the whole idea.A very odd relationship but its seems to work.
My ex dressed like a man most of the time and she still wanted to be with a male. Billie JeanQuote:
Originally Posted by prene
I'm the same way. I find the thought of being with a guy to be a yucky thought. One thing to take into consideration though, the gender you identify with and the gender you are sexually attracted to are two completely different subjects.
I am one more in the bunch:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet Bern
Me too:) Not looking for a cure either!Quote:
Originally Posted by Darlene Dippy
it will become clear with time and hanging out here.Quote:
Originally Posted by ifeelsonaughty
If you polled most crossdressers which I'm sure has been done many times here you would see that you are in the majority here. It is a well known fact that the majority of crossdressers are real men who fancy women. I am a very feminine crossdresser and I fall into the same category. I am a straight heterosexual male who loves women and fancies wearing pretty clothes.
I can't explain why crossdressing is looked upon as a bad thing. It makes me feel good and I am not threatening anyone if I wore a dress. It makes no sense why this is a hangup for so many. I believe crossdressers are real men who fancy women and also admire them and admire pretty clothes. There is nothing wrong with that in my book.
It takes a real man to wear a dress as I saw one of the girls use as a phrase.
It's true!
emmi
xoxo
Prene, your words describe me perfectly. Heterosexual but love pretending to be a women. I sometimes wake up in the morning wishing my forms have turned real. My confusion though is not so much about myself but about others. Almost everything nowadays is acceptable or at least tollerated. I don't understand why so many think so badly about CD's.
While I am attracted to and would rather be with women, I also admit that more often than not I also find my self wishing I could dress like her. I see a woman in a pretty dress or top, and I wonder if I could pull off the look (of sigh is depression that I can not :doh: )
[SIZE="3"]Robin[/SIZE]
i have zero attraction to the male body.
i have zero desire to be permanently female.
and yet i'm on this board.