How Easily Are we Read by Others?

Do you wonder how you 'come across' to co-workers or others that know you?. I am more comfortable working with women overall as I think many men act like neanderthals,but I often wonder what they really think of me....?

I don't believe many can sense my 'femme side' or mannerisms even when I'm kidding about with the women I work with. I have made plenty of references to how I 'go wild on weekends and do girly things' or 'go shopping for pretty clothes and how I love the taste of lipstick.

I have mentioned one of my friends who is a musician and crossdresses and even though I kid around it seems no-one takes me seriously or even bothers to ask further if I too crossdress.I guess no-one really cares,hehe.

At the same time if I go shopping and am interested in a lovely skirt or whatever,the sales girls can 'see' this or 'read me' as it must show on my face or perhaps in my slightly femme movements when I'm browsing for something pretty.

Do you think you can be read?

Hugs P :hugs:

Without some extreme effort, which I haven't shown in a while, my feminine side is impossible to be not read.

However, people simply presume I'm gay, not that I really have t-tendencies.

Anyone else experience that?

But, to answer your question, I don't "think" I'm read. I know I'm read, just in the wrong way.

I was out at Guitar Center last Sun and a co-worker happend to be there and said "hi" and we hung out for a bit and I was dressed in tight low cut femme jeans a gender neutral top and light pink fingernail polish and he never acted different or said anything.
Saw him at work today and we talked for a while and no mention of my attire on Sun.Probably didn't notice.

Hi,

I know that I can be read when en femme and I do get bothered by it. As a man however, well, I'm not sure.
It's funny though, when in drab I think I would like people to see me as a man but wonder if I am a CDer. I do have slight give aways. I have double peirced ears and keep my finger nails long and well kept. I know that some people in my area have heard about me and when we meet I notice them looking at me for a clue as to whether or not I am what they heard. I keep them guessing but wish they would just come straight out and ask me.

I am sure people think I am a bit feminine, long shaped acrylic nails with light pink polish, thin shaped eyebrows, natural colored lipstick, mascarra, some shadow and light powder foundation. Always wear girls sweater or top, bra, panties, very tight junior bootcut jeans and girls shoes or boots. I get some stares, i think mostly the tight jeas is what gives me away.

The clues , many obvious to us, are most likely getting you read for sure, but as Sophie says, prolly as gay. Trans is generally the last thing on somebody else's mind. Even if you were dressed fully, you'd still be classified as gay in most people's minds. That's just the nature of society that, in general, has never had any interaction with trans folks. We're the silent and invisible minority...

And despite your clues... girl jeans, long nails, pierced ears...no one who knows you (not even other hidden cd's) will ever ask you if you're trans or even gay! It's a politeness thing. You'll have to tell 'em if you want them to know. ( I've got two long time acquaintances that I suspect are closet cd's just like me, but we've never ever brought
it up.)

But don't ever think they haven't noticed. You can bet that they've discussed you with other friends. ("Hey! I saw Jimbo at the guitar shop today... His fingernails were painted pink, but I didn't say anything. Whaddya think is up with him? Think he's gay? Think his girlfriend knows? He's a great guitar player, though, ain't he?)

Do you care? Me neither!

:D

i get read and i don't care. my daughter and i were out to a Christmas party last week and some woman wanted to sit with us we said yes after we introduced ourselves off she went you look good are you gay etc :chatterbox:.
why do i bother :straightface: but we had fun.

I think I get read by women more, men for the most part are oblivious you can easily hypnotise them with a beer, football or even an ugly big breasted woman they get distracted way to easily.

Women on the other hand pick up on things, I'm heterosexual but when I look at a girl I look at her differently than most men. I have this thing about legs, stockings, pantyhose or tights if a woman walks by dressed that way my eyes immediately dart at their legs even if she has some other outstanding feature like two hindenburgs coming out of her chest.

The women I work with have picked up on this, they tell that I look at women differently than a normal man whatever that means. I think they mean it as a compliment but I think sometimes they are hinting at something else.

I think I'm read a lot.... and quite a few coworkers know or suspect but that has not changed our relationships... everyone is still super friendly to me as I am to them... life is good! :)

I think a lot of women see my "softer" side. I have been made an honorary girl more than a few times. However, this usually doesn't lead to fashion shows and discussions on makeup.

Hi Penelope, I have seen that people might be getting use to men were I travel that dress as women. Yes I was in Key West Flordia, when a women that was server us at a counter, that we were talking with ask me if I was a real women. I said no, my GG was surprized too , so I ask why. She told me that I looked just like a women, but I have big shoulders and arms. I thanked her for the compulment I told her that I was a man. No way she said my face was too soft. I must be getting good at make up, with a lot of help from my GG . :brolleyes: :eek::c9::kickbutt::lol::naughty:stirthepot::thumb up::yahoo::yrtw::yrtw:

I've often thought about this; even though when I am dressed as a guy I never wear anything femenine. But I still think people can tell something is different about me. One time at work I was walking down the stairs, and I didn't think anybody was watching me, so I started walking down like a girl to practice my walk :). Needless to say, a girl coworker was watching me, but she just smiled at me like saying "it's no big deal". People at work probably wonder, but everybody treats me great. The thing is, like somebody mentioned before, me being a "straight" CD probably hasn't crossed their minds, they probably think I'm gay.

[SIZE="3"] I have told 1 woman at work and she was really cool with it. I get along very well with all the women in the office and get into some conversations that supprise me they are talking about this with me, but I guess they sense I have an interest and don't feel threatened by me. The guys are a different story there has been a big change in the way I look and act over the last 2 years they rib me thinking I'm Gay. Out dressed in women's jeans gender neutral top and shoes or sneakers I get missed and maamed alot without makeup shows me just how much people pick up on mannerisms and a quick look at how you look. [/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"] Photo is me without makeup my own hair even longer now.[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Penelope

Do you wonder how you 'come across' to co-workers or others that know you?

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Co-workers? I absolutely know that they know I am different but I'm pretty sure they don't think of me as being a CDer.

I tend to agree with Sophie that they would probably think of me as gay (I bet people who don't know think that) but my co-workers know I am married and a couple of them have even met my wife. I assume I must be a bit of an anomaly to them, unless they think I'm just an eccentric English person! :D

I have a very agressive nature which I think offsets anything I may say or do that most ppl would see as femme. I think most people asume the way I look and act is just part of my gothy-ness. Or ppl might think I'm a flaming homosexual... who knows? Ignorance is bliss. :bonk:

I guess that I feel differently about myself than the posts here. I go out often and feel very natural and feminine. I dress like any other woman in the stores would. I go out believing that I am a woman and take others beliefs along with me. I stare at a woman like she looks at me in her eyes. My mannerisms are female. I use the ladies rooms and talk to other women in them. I use the dressing rooms at Victoria's Secret and alway get asked "Is there anything that you need Ma'am" The other day I talked with a lady about her young daughter starting to use a specific tampon. Today a gentleman in line just lit up talking to me and showing me how smart of an engineer he was. I get many signs like these and there is no question that I am taken only as a real woman.
The best "READERS" are teenage gals. I often "Try Them" and most often get Ma'am'd. I have had some great conversations also.
Also I have a number of GG friends that know the truth about me. They call me she and her. They tell me that they cannot picture me as a man and intellectually can not FEEL or THINK OF ME as anything but a woman.
My point to all of this is one must develop the confidence, comfort and ability to carry oneself as a woman. They must also show other with these that they cast not doubt and have not doubt about themselves.
The real fact is to be the best that you can and do not worry.

About the only Femme thing I have or do in guy mode is long hair.
But that is more of a long haired guy thing them femme thing.

I do have a good GG friend that has said, done, or acted in ways that tells me she sees past the guy most people take me for.

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Originally Posted by Tracii G

I was out at Guitar Center last Sun and a co-worker happened to be there and said "hi" and we hung out for a bit and I was dressed in tight low cut femme jeans a gender neutral top and light pink fingernail polish and he never acted different or said anything.

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Well you do have to admit that musicians to tend to get a little more leeway in how they look & dress.

I remember an article that asked James Hetfeild [Lead singer for the Heavy Metal band Metallica, for those that don't know] what was the most odd or embarrassing thing in his closet was.
He answer: Size 14 womens stretch jeans, lol.
He said he would wear them on stage when touring.

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Originally Posted by joan47

I am sure people think I am a bit feminine, long shaped acrylic nails with light pink polish, thin shaped eyebrows, natural colored lipstick, mascarra, some shadow and light powder foundation. Always wear girls sweater or top, bra, panties, very tight junior bootcut jeans and girls shoes or boots. I get some stares, i think mostly the tight jeans is what gives me away.

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Are you sure it is not the:
"long shaped acrylic nails with light pink polish, thin shaped eyebrows, natural colored lipstick, mascarra, some shadow and light powder foundation."
that might give you away & not the jeans? lol

I know I'm easily read, and it's mostly my mannerisms. The way I sit, walk... I think if I literally had the body of a natural woman I'd still look like a man because of my 40 years of man-training.

-Gillian

I know I am read often I can tell by the stares.It used to bother me but now I just smile and enjoy.I think most of my family knows. My wife is so supportive it is awesome.

I hid behind being a musician professionally for years. People knew I was different, but I always laughed it off to them as being a "weird musician" type.

My interest in having children was mostly just read as being "sweet" :) .

I was read deeper by a few,.. but I even threw up the smokescreen to them as well (which might not have been necessary after all). I just wasn't going to let my trans-ness interfere with my other goals.

The first thing I told my councilor last year when I wanted to get to the bottom of this was that I didn't want her to let me use the "artist" excuse. I relied on that a lot to get through life up to this point .

I'm a very confident person and can be quite assertive when I want to be plus I will back up anything I say. I'm also very good at intimidation. I only wear women's shoes and sneakers and when I'm shopping in drab it's obvious it's for me. Never had a problem. I'm sure some people realize there's something different there but no one will risk a nasty comment. I will gladly talk to any salesperson who may ask about my dressing in a decent manner.

more feminine blouse's to work, I think that most people may notice things that are different about me, most people say I look younger. Attached is a picture from my webcam at work, flourescent lighting screws with the color of the image, but it gives a good idea of how I look at work. Keep in mind I'm over 50 years old. :battingeyelashes:

I know I've been picked off a few times by women when out at a store just wearing forms under a coat (and bra and blouse for anyone who wants to get picky). Enough of a hint and they give you a look, and you know they know. usually followed by a smile. Fun. :D

thanks gurls for some very interesting replies. I notice a few musician types too, hehe.
I wonder if we should start a CD musicians club?.

If you're ever out venturing up this way in Canada then lets jam!

Hugs

penelope:hugs:

I think most people think I'm a lil light in the loafers:)

Kelsy

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Originally Posted by marny

I know I've been picked off a few times by women when out at a store just wearing forms under a coat (and bra and blouse for anyone who wants to get picky). Enough of a hint and they give you a look, and you know they know. usually followed by a smile. Fun. :D

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Marny I have experienced the same thing ggs pickup on polished nails and eye make up and the absence of male mannerisms. I had a girl give me a hug and rubbed my back to find a bra strap:o I agree It's fun

Kelsy

I know that I am read like a book, but I really don't care any more. I am who I am, and if people don't like me for me, tough s#%@!!