just spending time with Mom...
cooking, shopping, chatting.
After much thought, these......
I took a long ride yesterday, and stopped at a scenic overlook, pulled out a lawn chair, and just sat, drank a few sodas, and though about this subject because there was a family with two young daughters nearby, being scolded by their mom for playing in the grass in their dresses.
I grew up watching girls around me go through their lives, wondering what it would be like for me when my turn came. Observing my sister, learning how to do all kinds of things with her hair, then going into a panic one day when her hairdresser cut it a couple inches too short. Watching her spending days upon days learning to twirl a baton, in hopes of making the majorette team. I sat quietly when mom took us to the store, and had my sister try on dress after dress until they found one that they liked. Then going to our relatives houses for holidays, and watching as they took pictures of the girls, ignoring the boys. I watched from a distance as she often tried on many outfits before choosing one to wear, laying them out on her bed one at a time, then side by side trying to choose. I remember watching her learn to walk in heels. I played by myself in my own room, when they had slumber parties, running around the house having fun. I pretended to watch TV in an adjacent room, while secretly listening to her and her friends talking about make up, clothes, hair, boys, other girls, school, and on and on. I watched my sister's best friend practice to be a cheerleader, and even though my sister wasn't trying out herself, both she and her other friend learned the routines and helped the girl who was trying out. Having them join my family one year on vacation, seeing how beautiful she looked in a bathing suit, wanting to look like that myself someday (some feelings never go away, do then?). I watched my high school aged neighbor girl chatting on the phone with her friends from my back yard, and I clandestinely spied on her from my bedroom window when her boyfriends brought her home after dates. I watched her get engaged, then married, then get pregnant, and raise her babies.
All these things, and more, I thought that I would eventually experience. And never did.